


Slow Dances

by X_StarK



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Age Play, Bed-Wetting, Corporal Punishment, Daddy Issues, Don't Like Don't Read, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I need soft things, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mommy Issues, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Sexual Age Play, Past Abuse, Self-Harm, Sickfic, Soft Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Thumb-sucking, soft everyting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 94,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26633125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/X_StarK/pseuds/X_StarK
Summary: A job gone wrong might be what changes everything.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Irina Vasilieva & Konstantin Vasiliev & Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 101
Kudos: 300





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just... had this in my head. Sorry to impose.  
> English s'not my first lenguage (as y'all prolly notice)

Konstantin was exhausted. He vowed inside his mind to whoever deity was listening up there that he was finally going to give up this crazy, awful life style. He really wanted to retire somewhere nice.

He grunted and took a deep breath, hoping against all odds he could manage to get to the upper floor in one piece. Villanelle was deadweight in his arms and he was getting dizzy. He needed to find a doctor to tend him and he needed to get his girl to safety.

The mission was simple enough; Villanelle had done it a hundred times by now: seduce the man, kill the man and get out of there.

Simple, straightforward and well paid; but this time someone had tipped them off, his security escort was waiting for Villanelle…. unless it had been a coincidence and a struck of bad luck, but Konstantin was too old to believe in luck.

The man that had chased her after she had killed her target was also quite capable, too capable, he reminded him of the Twelve.

The girl had been back at the hotel for just 10 minutes, she had walked into the room in a complete frenzy, lip bleeding, eye half shut and white as a sheet. He remembers opening the door and quickly catching the fainting girl into his arms

“I-they followed me” grumbled the girl tiredly, Konstantin rolled his eyes at her, a little annoyed but mostly worried.

He managed to get her to bed and clean the cut in her lip, it didn’t seem too bad, but the girl had been running for her life so he understood she was scared and wind up. She was breathing fast, even shaking a little, Konstantin worried the more time he spent next to her. He had rarely saw her react this way.

“It hurts!” she bit out, angry. Konstantin nodded and poured alcohol over cotton then cleaning the wound, she yelled “I said it hurts!”

“Of course it hurts, you got beat up!” he said laughing “You learn to be more careful and then we won’t have to do this”

“They knew I was coming, they knew who I was” she said angry, glaring at him with her hazel eyes

“I think you’re getting paranoid, mmmh? Is the target dead?” he asked softly

 _Of course he would only care about the kill_. Thought Villanelle fuming. 

“Of course he’s dead” she said softly looking down “I also got hurt in case you worry” she spat out

Konstantin rolled his eyes, sometimes Villanelle was too much into theatrics.

“I do worry about you” he said softly, now cleaning the alcohol that was dripping from the girl’s chin, the smell was strong but thankfully the bleeding was receding.

Suddenly there was a noise behind in the door.

“I asked for Chinese” said the man standing up, Villanelle shook her head and quickly handed him a pocket knife seemingly out of nowhere. The man sighed and rolled his eyes but grabbed it, he came close to the door when it blasted open, pushing him a side. A young man shoved the door into his face and hit him with the back of his gun, a gunshot was heard; it took him a second to react, to cut the man’s throat with the pocket knife.

The man fell to his knees immediately, grabbing at his neck, trying in vain to stop the profuse bleeding.

Konstantin grunted in pain, then turned towards Villanelle who was squirming and whimpering into the pillow

“He fucking shot me!” she cried when he was close. The man put the weapon on his pocket -better not to leave _more_ evidence now things get suspicious-, then removed the blood stained sheets trying to make sense of the yelling and grunting of the blonde.

“Where?” he asked suddenly scared, Villanelle turned and he could see the blood pouring out of the same goddamned arm she had gotten stabbed weeks ago.

“It’s just a graze” he said quickly, checking the wound, relief dripping into his voice; he grabbed a sheet and began to apply pressure

“He shot me!” yelled Villanelle, Konstantin applied pressure to the wound, the girl whimpered.

She was so angry, so annoyed, this life was bullshit, she didn’t want this! 

“Hello?” called a shy voice at the door, the kid must have been 16 and he was carrying a bag of Chinese food. He looked down and noticed the dead men on the floor, then he turned to the bed and saw all the blood in the sheets “I think I have to call the police” said the kid in a dazed stupor, Konstantin smiled at him

“Sure, just give us a head start” he said coming close

“What?” asked the kid confused before receiving a straight hook that left him unconscious

“Come on, we have to go” said the Russian coming close to his charge, Villanelle struggled, but managed to stand up and follow her career.

* * *

_That’s_ the story of how Konstantin found himself climbing the stairs to Eve’s Polastri apartment, which was in a shitty part of London in an even shittier building.

Villanelle had passed out from the blood loss or the stress in her body, he wasn’t even sure. Her wounds didn’t seem too serious, maybe a bump to the head when they beat her up… but whatever it was, right now she was just dead weight and he was dizzy, worst of all, he wasn’t even sure Eve would take the girl.

He knocked on the door holding back his annoyance, because of course the freaking woman lived in the last apartment of this god forsaken place!

At least in here Villanelle would be safe, no one would look for her in a place like this… was that a rat?

The door was opened roughly and inside a small Asian woman gasped and staggered back, just like Konstantin remembered her. Maybe in a bad hair day anyway. 

“What the fuck?” she rasped, voice still unused at this hour of the night

“We need help” blustered Konstantin, he decided not to mention the rat next to him, he just waited silently, Villanelle said that Eve would help her, that she was different…

“Come on in” said the woman suddenly, something shifting in her eyes. She wasn’t just a small scared woman, she was determined, she even looked dangerous. Konstantin stared, it seemed like Villanelle had finally picked a good one or at least someone that was in her side.

“What happened?” asked Eve quickly “Here’s the bed” she said leading him quickly. His arms were burning, Villanelle was not fat at all, but he had carried her 4 flights of stairs. He had a bad shoulder for god’s sakes!

Konstantin looked around the mess the woman was living and decided not to comment on it, he wasn’t an interior designer.

He placed the young woman in the bed, amidst laundry and whoever knows what else and reached for a rag to press the gash in his forehead that was painfully burning and dripping blood

“What happened?” asked Eve again

“We need help”

“I can see that, but why?”

“I do not know yet, I have to go”

“What?” asked the woman in a shrill looking at the unconscious and bloody girl lying in her bed

It looked worse than it was, really.

“She’s just sleeping, it was a bullet graze, she should be fine with painkillers. I have to go in case they’re still looking for us”

Eve didn’t even want to know who _they_ were.

“You want _me_ to take care of _her_?” asked the woman incredulous, Konstantin chuckled

“Yes, just do that, here is some money” he said handing her an envelope that was fat and filled with crisp bills, surely the pay of the day

“What am I supposed to do with this do I look like a nanny?” she asked angry, Konstantin sighed

“I CAN’T STAY! If we’re together we’ll put you in danger, I have to check who was behind all this and she needs to get better quietly”

“She won’t listen to anything I said!”

“She’ll listen, don’t worry” he wasn’t sure of what he was saying, but he at least _hoped_ that Villanelle had the common sense not to turn away from Eve’s help

He removed the rag in his forehead and noticed with dismay it wasn’t just a rag it was a shirt

“Keep it” said the woman annoyed, the man rolled his eyes and applied pressure again

“I’ll contact you, very soon, tomorrow I hope, just don’t go out looking for me, I’ll call” he said

“And why am I supposed to trust you? What if you’re just here ditching her?” asked the woman angry while he walked towards the door

“I would never _ditch_ her. She’s family” he said leaving the room and closing the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a lot of weed involved in this writing. As y'all prolly notice.

Eve sat down in the small sofa right across the bed and looked over the small lump that was the Russian Assassin. The young woman was sleeping with a profound scowl, hands fisted in the sheets. The former MI6 agent looked from afar with quiet interest and noticed all the blood caked around the cloth pieces that Konstantin had tied around the arm, it seemed worse than what Konstantin had told her, but then again he hadn’t said much.

 _I need to go to the drugstore_ thought Eve sighing. She felt tired but at the same time she was sure she wasn’t going to sleep anymore, she was too wired up to do that.

Maybe Niko had been right, she wasn’t saving the world… she had been saving Villanelle all along. After Rome one might thing she would’ve closed the door in Konstantin face and let them rot in the hallway with the rat. _Of course she knew about the rat._ But she couldn’t close the door.

Not after the bus, not after everything they had gone through.

Like some people at one point in life Eve realized she was ruining her life by choice. She had chased and poked things she shouldn’t have; some people take a chance to mend ways and try to get back a resemble of life, try to maybe overcome their bad choices and make a new living, but Eve was not like the others.

She was going to choose Villanelle over and over no matter what. Stabbing and shooting aside.

She took a deep breath and let that sink for a while... She shouldn’t have opened the door.

She stood up and grabbed the envelope Konstantin had so helpfully provided and grabbed a few bills, surprised to notice that all the bills were the highest denomination… Villanelle hadn’t lied, she _was_ very expensive. She left the flat quietly and walked to the closest pharmacy, she bought bandages, alcohol, disinfectant and some pain killers. The men at the cash register looked at her oddly, almost afraid to ask, Eve did seemed a little unhinged. 

“Ma’am… is everything alright?” he asked with a kind smile, Eve produced her most sweet and fake smile possible

“My husband’s sick” she said, it was 3 am in the morning for god’s sakes. The cashier said nothing more, it was clear he didn’t believe her, but… she didn’t really care.

She walked back to the flat and walked inside just as quietly as she had left, then froze in the middle when she noticed that the bed was empty, the sheets a mess of blood and her own brand of clutter.

“Villanelle?” she asked out loud, wondering for a second if someone had come in and take her…

Could _they_ do that?

She moved slowly towards the bathroom but it was also empty, she put the bags in the table and walked back towards the bed confused and a little frightened. She heard a small sniffle that made her look down, she kneeled next to the bed and looked right under.

There she was, eyes red and vacant, blond hair a mess of sweat and dirt, she was tucked right under, barely making a fit. The girl was tight trying in vain to hide the tremors that threatened to shake her whole frame; in her hand with a tight grip was a sharp kitchen knife seemingly being used as a lifeline for the way the young woman was holding it.

“What are you doing?” whispered Eve panicked, she noticed Villanelle seemed confused and out of it, she worried for a second she was still sleeping, but then she locked her eyes in her for the first time. She was sweating profusely and probably in a lot of pain.

“Come here, get out of there” she said with a soft voice, grabbing the hand that was holding onto the knife and waiting for a whole minute, trying to get the young woman adjusted to her presence, at last, checking that it was her healthy arm she began pulling.

Villanelle allowed herself to be pulled out from her hiding spot and relented the knife when Eve took it, then took a small offered hand and stood up with help, sitting down in the bed almost immediately. 

“I just went to buy some supplies” began to explain the woman, Villanelle hid her face in her hands, her elbows digging into her knees. She was ignoring Eve completely.

She couldn’t keep it together! It was so hard to keep it together.

There was an elephant sitting in her chest, she couldn’t breathe properly. She had almost died twice this fucking day. Why couldn’t it be over already? Now Eve was _here_. She wasn’t ready to deal with this. She wasn’t ready to deal with anything right now.

Eve was talking near her but she could only manage to hear her own breath wild and uncoordinated as she tried to keep herself calm, actually, the woman’s voice was helping and maybe she should pay attention. Now more than ever she wanted out of this fucking way of living as fast as possible.

She wanted nice things, nice flat, fun job, cool life.

She had lost the flat, she had no fun _at all_ today and this was definitely _not_ cool.

Eve in the meanwhile was looking down to the young woman, she had never seen her like that. Her eyes were frantic with fear, tears falling without any resemblance of control, snot running down her nose and tremors racked over her body. She kept trying to explain why she had gone down to the shops and left her alone, but then she continued talking when she noticed that her voice seemed to be calming her down.

It made her stomach flutter, to _know_ she had that kind of power over her.

“I’ll give you some pain killers and-and we have to take those rags off and clean the wounds” explained Eve going to the table and rummaging through the bags. Villanelle looked at her with abject fear.

“It will hurt” she mumbled taking a shaky breath, she was still pale and sweaty 

“I know but I have pain killers” she said again, coming close

“No, no don’t hurt me!” cried Villanelle suddenly flinching. She _had_ been hurt before, she was very familiar with wounds and pain but this time everything was an accumulation of situations.

Everything inside her hurt, not just her arm. Her heart, her chest, her stomach… everything, something inside her chest ached with such fierce emptiness that she felt scared and sick at the same time.

After Rome everything ached, she couldn’t find her spot in the universe, she used to have a spot in the universe. At least _she felt like it._

She felt the 20-something age crisis in which everyone realizes – _or thinks to realize_ \- that life is moving forward whether you want it or not and whether you’re doing good or bad.

She had shot the woman she had declared her love to, she had run away like a rat, and to make everything grand she decided to seek her family. 

Why the universe had made her so stupid?

Russia had been a terrible mistake. She planned on never coming back.

Everything in that place had gone inside her, the smells, the people, but most importantly the soul of her mother was inside her, it didn’t go further in like it happened with her other kills, it had, instead, invaded her, infected her. Maybe her brother was right, she _was_ mean and maybe her mother _was_ right: she was the darkness… it made sense _now_.

She had turned back to the only safe thing that she knew: Konstantin, the one that was always there lurking in the back and ‘looking out for her’. Maybe it was her fault for mistaking duty with love, because Konstantin was _paid_ to be there, he was supposed to keep her in check, feed and trained, he wasn’t her father. And she was no Irina. But after so many years sometimes the lines blurred, they were good pretending to be distant but once he called her Irina by mistake. 

She had only been back from Russia for six days when the new job was given, she had been hired to kill this stupid guy… she tried to say no to Konstantin but the man convinced her it was easy money, something she had done a hundred times. _But s_ he was all over the place, confused, scared, and sad, still, she went out there and killed the man, maybe if she had used her words instead of rolling her eyes and calling the job ‘boring’ Konstantin would’ve reconsidered, but she didn’t.

She never again wanted to feel the panic she felt while getting beat up by three guys thinking that maybe she had overestimated her luck… she had got the upper hand suddenly and she had run so fast to the hotel her lungs and muscles were still aching from the sudden stretch of their capabilities.

And now she was hurt but the main pain didn’t come from the wound itself, it came from deep in her soul. Eve’s voice sounded far, far away. She was breathing faster, suddenly her mind was overflowed with questions

Why was Eve _here_ anyway?

Where _was_ Konstantin?

Why was she in Eve’s flat _?_

Why was this place such a disaster? 

Eve -on the other hand- had never dealt with a panic attack that wasn’t hers. 

Villanelle was gasping for air and her good hand was clawing at her chest desperately, it was pretty scary and Eve didn’t even know how to help her, she did what came natural to her and held the girl close to her chest, hugging her tight and try to keep her connected. That helped _her_ sometimes.

“Villanelle?” whispered Eve softly after a few minutes, the only response she got was deep even breaths so Eve decided to let her sleep. She moved around until she was leaning against the wall and the girl was half draped on top of her still sleeping and wondered idly if her need to caress Villanelle’s hair and make her feel safe was normal.

She nodded off not long after she found her hand tangled in the blonde strands of hair, not quite caressing, just holding, _like a lifeline._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I umm... I woke up today and someone stole my tree.   
> I put 4 trees. In my sidewalk.   
> someone took one.   
> who does that?

Eve woke up confused and with a nick in her neck. She wasn’t at the age to fall asleep sitting, if there was ever such age.

She wondered for a second what had woken her up when she noticed Villanelle’s head was missing from her chest. She turned to the side and found the young woman looking at her with big scared eyes from the corner in the bed.

“God, you scared me!” she said startled “Are you alright?” she asked, she looked around trying to pinpoint what was making Villanelle scared when she noticed a wet patch in the sheets. She looked up at the blonde’s face again, her big eyes scared and humiliated.

“I’m so sorry” she blurted out, cheeks turning red

“It’s fine, how’s your arm?” asked Eve dismissing the situation, sitting up and throwing the sheets away acting as calm as ever. She had a feeling that people had reacted badly to this situation in the past. She didn’t want to trigger another panic attack.

“I’m really sorry” said the girl again, she seemed really distressed

+++++

_“I’m really sorry mama” cried the little blond standing next to her small and very wet bed. The woman groaned from the door, it was the middle of the night on cold rural Russia. A boy began to cry in his cot_

_“You’re always sorry child” said the woman grabbing her by the hair “Now you’ve done it”_

_“Mama please!” cried the child being dragged into the small kitchen by the hair, her little hands and nails trying to scratch her mother’s hands away_

_“You’re always fucking sorry!” yelled the woman opening the back door that was ratty and old and pushing her out into the cold wet mud. The little child fell face first and began to cry. She was cold, wet and scared._

_“You go and sleep with the dogs since you behave like an animal” said the woman with rage behind her eyes and coldness in her soul. She closed the door_

_+++++_

“It’s fine” said Eve shrugging “It was just an accident” she said, a wince was the response 

“It’s been years-years since-“

“Hey, you don’t have to explain”

“I’m really-“

“Villanelle, it’s fine” said Eve a little more forcefully, grabbing her hands. The young woman gulped.

She wanted to explain, she wanted to tell Eve everything she had lived in the span of a minute. She felt like a waste.

Everything had been against her since the beginning. Her mother, the orphanage; the wet and cold nights she used to spend in the back yard, hiding in sheds, cupboards, and dog houses. Everyone that was supposed to take care of her had abused her.

How could she explain to Eve that this was just a reaction to everything that had happened?

She wouldn’t speak Russian, not because she was proud or rude, but because it reminded her too much of the hurt and pain people had inflicted upon her like her mother dropping her off like damaged goods, never even looking back as she screamed her lungs out.

All those cold nights asking the nuns where her mama was. The families that came by but never took her for more than two or three days because she was a handful, weird, wrong…

The way the teachers treated her like a freak and the harsh training she had begun when she was barely legal by the Twelve.

The words Ana used to manipulate her, to make her feel special and warm when in reality all she wanted was a fuck and no strings attached.

How can you explain that to someone that you like and want you to like back?

Is it even possible to explain how fucked up life has been?

How she had killed her mother and her muck up family?

It was eating her from the inside, constantly, every single second and minute of the day.

What she had done back at Russia was not right. First Ana, then her mother. Something inside of her was broken and she didn’t even know where to begin.

+++++

“ _What’s wrong with you?” asked Konstantin huffing while stripping the obviously expensive sheets from her wet bed, Villanelle glared at him, trying to will away the heat coloring her cheeks_

_“I have told you not to come here uninvited” she said angry, pulling the hem of her shirt down trying in vain to cover the wet spot in her silk pajama bottoms._

_Konstantin had arrived early with breakfast from that place she liked, she had been back in London since yesterday, he wanted to talk to her about a new job surely… but all he found was her looking at her bed with abject horror, hair and pajamas tussled, she was just waking up_

_The man looked at her for a long minute_

_“You’ve wet the bed., that has never happened before” he said confused_

_“I had a bad dream” The lie felt heavy in her mouth. Tears filled her eyes, she blinked them away_

_“You don’t seem fine” he said coming close, softly_

_“I said I’m fine” she snapped more scared than angry, what if he was like her mother? Would Konstantin hurt her?_

_“Do I need to asses you like the Twelve used to?” asked the man instantly acting annoyed._

_“I’m fine, it’s just a stupid thing I used to do when I was a kid” she was angry now. Who did he think he was to come here and mock her “I will not happen again” she said serious_

_“You are right, you are not a child anymore” she had wanted to feel like a child once… at her mum’s house “Get it together” said the man leaning close to her. Villanelle felt a shiver run through her back, pure fear. She nodded quickly and went to lock herself into the bathroom, she didn’t get out until Konstantin was gone._

_++++++++++_

“You are really not mad?” asked Villanelle biting her pinkie and chewing on its skin softly, squirming in her wet clothes, the leather pants she was wearing yesterday had been quite a fashionable choice, she just didn’t expect to be wet on them, chaffing her skin

“I’m not mad… is this a common occurrence?” asked Eve grabbing a bath robe and handing it to the young woman. Villanelle turned so red that Eve knew instantly that _it was_ a common occurrence

Who would’ve have thought, an assassin that wets the bed.

“It’s not common… but it has been happening lately, it is new” explained the blond quickly realizing what her silence was conceding

“Well, thank you for telling the truth” said Eve slowly, she wasn’t sure why but Villanelle seemed to be seeking small reassurances and guidance, which was doing the trick in keeping her calm. The young woman seemed a little lost… she seemed too young to be real. “We’ll deal with this together, now let’s clean you up” said the woman leading her to the bathroom “How’s your arm?”

“It hurts a lot” she said in a soft voice. She hadn’t moved since she realized she had wet herself and the usual adrenaline rush that came with the fear of being punished was leaving her body. Konstantin sent her out in a job to kill someone as a punishment, he said it would set her straight and clear her mind, what would Eve do?

Maybe she would hit her like some of the houses that took her a couple of days. Maybe she would hit her like her mother used to, Eve didn’t seem like a violent person, but you never know, her mother was very beloved and dear to her neighbors.

She could laugh at her or mock her like the children in the orphanage… or maybe like Konstantin she would ask her to kill someone…

“I have some pain killers, I just gotta check the wound” said the woman leaving her for a second and disappearing into the bathroom. Villanelle stood there, looking down to the floor feeling lost and empty. She felt utterly confused.

She objectively knew that Eve couldn’t hurt her, that her mother was dead and that she was an adult. But everything that had happened in recent weeks had her feeling so different and so overwhelmed that she couldn’t really avoid these childish fears.

“Where’s Konstantin?” she asked suddenly, looking around as if trying to find him in the small flat, Eve poked her head out of the bathroom, she heard water run.

“He left”

“He left _me?_ ” She was not used to seeing Konstantin gone, she was always under his care and he was always lurking around, even to the point of annoying

“He was hurt too, he had a big gash on his forehead, he said something about being betrayed and foul play and needing to find clues about what had gone wrong” explained the Asian woman patiently, sensing that Villanelle was not comfortable without her handler “Come on, the water is ready”

Villanelle came close slowly

“I’m sorry about your bed” she mumbled again embarrassed

“It’s not mine anyway” she joked

Once in the bathroom she noticed the small bathtub filled with water, she really wanted this bath, she thought waddling towards it

“Let me help you undress” said Eve coming close, she blushed, _this_ was not the way Eve was supposed to remove her clothes! It was supposed to be hot, delicious and sinful… instead of this.

She was wet, sweaty, dirty, stained with blood and pain all over her body. Not fair.

Eve had to help her remove her shirt since her arm was a little sore

“I’m going to have to buy you some clothes” said the woman sighing “Do you need anything else from the shops?” asked Eve softly, she shook her head

“You sure?” asked Eve softly, there was no judging in her question, she just seemed… concerned?

She was so unused to people worrying over her she didn’t even know how to react or what to say, what the hell did Eve meant with this conversation? 

“Yes” she answered a little snappy

“I meant something for night time?” asked Eve again helping her into the bathtub, Villanelle shivered, the water was the perfect temperature, she sat down with help and a lot of wincing.

Villanelle was not concerned about being naked in front of others, she knew how beautiful her body was and she had no qualms about it, her body had been admired for many before.

Eve stayed quiet. There was no shame in needing and asking for help, but she doubted Villanelle knew this. She was trained and taught to be strong, independent and proud. She didn’t want to annoy the young woman so she decided not to push the conversation

“I’m fine” mumbled Villanelle looking down to the murky pink water

“Well, if you change your mind you can tell me” instructed Eve softly, pouring water on the woman’s head

“I have it under control, I’m fine” she mumbled feeling blush all over ‘til the tip of her ears. It was so hard to admit failure

Eve nodded quietly and began to help her wash. She was very gentle and for a split second Villanelle realized she had never been washed before. She wasn’t used to people being this gentle with her, not even when she was a little girl, it made her feel confused and a little overwhelmed.

“I’m going to wash your hair” said the Asian woman gently, pouring the sweet smelling shampoo in her head and lathering up her head. Tears began to fall from her eyes, she couldn’t stop them, and she didn’t even feel them come. “Are you in pain?” asked Eve softly, stopping her ministrations

 _I’m always in pain_ wanted to answer Villanelle, but instead just shook her head and cleaned her tears with the back of her good arm. Eve continued to wash her hair.

When she finished rinsing she smiled to the young woman

“You ok to continue alone? I’m going to make you some breakfast so you can take the pain killers”

Villanelle nodded, not understanding why her chest felt heavy when Eve left the room.

* * *

Eve left to the kitchen a little worried about Villanelle, she was acting strange, but she was also not very familiar with the woman, so she couldn’t really tell. She hadn’t been close to Villanelle for more than a couple of hours. In any case she was not the cocky assassin she had met months ago… she seemed a little lost.

She –half- cooked some eggs, toast and beans to get the girl eating and it was roughly 15 minutes when she heard a heavy thud and a string of words in another language that by the intonation were clearly curse words. 

She ran to the bathroom and found the Russian girl in the floor, cradling her arm against her chest wincing painfully

“What the fuck are you doing?” she asked coming close and helping her stand up

“This is stupid” cried Villanelle angry, her face red from the exertion

“You can’t move on your own! Look you’re bleeding”

“This is stupid”

“What were you trying to do for God’s sakes?” asked the older woman angry this time, Villanelle closed her eyes, tears spilling down, fear running through her veins

“Stop” she whimpered overwhelmed trying to squirm away

“Stop acting like a child!” said Eve confused, helping her sit on the toilet lid. The girl was pale with pain this time.

“I just wanted out of the tub, I just slipped” mumbled Villanelle almost shaking, Eve rolled her eyes and reached for the bag with medical supplies, then began with the alcohol

“Then ask for help! Damn it… this is going to need stitches” she said seeing the wound for the first time, _damn Konstantin_.

“No” the word felt heavy in her accent and her voice. She wasn’t going to let anyone stitch her up like a rag doll

“It’s not going to close on its own, besides, look at you, we need a real doctor” said Eve angry

“Oh yeah, what are you going to say? You shot me while watching a movie? You gave me a beat up for not changing the channel?”

“Stop with your shitty attitude will you?”

“Sorry” mumbled the young woman quickly. She was losing control, the elephant was putting its paws on her chest again

“I have a good friend who happens to be a doctor, she won’t ask too many questions, but you have to behave”

“No” mumbled Villanelle with a nervous tremble

“I’m not asking you” said Eve angry, Villanelle lost the fight and began to cry for real, she couldn’t handle this! She was not trained for this! She had no experience on _feeling_ and she was really feeling a lot.

“Don’t cry, it won’t be painful, I will be here every second” said Eve quickly, catching a few fat tears with her thumb

“Please, I don’t want needles on me”

“Why?” Eve asked completely confused. Villanelle sniffled and turned red

 _Scared._ The girl was scared of needles.

“Are you even real?” asked Eve chuckling in a breathy and surprised tone

“What?” cried Villanelle rubbing her eyes with her good arm “Everyone gets to be afraid of something” she hated needles. Doctors’ appointments used to be awful when she was a child and she really was not used to people being nice or careful towards her, _especially_ doctors.

“Yes, but I don’t think that counts for international assassins” Villanelle shrugged.

“I’m going to call my friend and I’ll be with you every second, I won’t let her harm you, you really need a doctor and medicine” she explained. There was no response from Villanelle so she guessed she had won. “Now, you need to wear this” she said handing her a big cotton shirt that was probably Niko’s and some cotton trousers “I’ll buy you some clothes later” explained Eve softly

“But you just said you’ll stay with me” _Oh god, she was like a clingy child, wasn’t she?_

“I can’t take you like this to buy clothes!”

“But-“

“No arguing, best behavior, remember?” asked Eve smiling, Villanelle stayed quiet.

Konstantin would constantly remind her to behave. He was patient to her and he always explained things to her. Eve was also crawling inside her, with her soft touches, words and firmness in actions. She had never had that before.

* * *

Eve tried calling her friend, but the woman was out of town. They had very little options so the agent decided to look for a video in YouTube and help the girl. She had taken countless of first aid courses and Red Cross meetings with Elena so it couldn’t be _that_ hard. 

“Ok, you gotta help me here” she said watching the girl grow pale the more medical things she fixed around her

“I do not want to” 

“You have to behave remember?”

Villanelle squirmed in the chair. Konstantin always said that too. _Behave, I have to behave._

“Sorry” she said suddenly “I am just scared” she confessed

“It’s alright, I’ll do it super quick”

At the first pull of the needle (that didn’t really caused pain, but just a very creepy sensation) Villanelle began to tear up and tried to pull away, but Eve stopped and quickly fixed the woman’s long legs in her lap to keep her in place. It wasn’t painful and she was working quickly.

“Hey, relax its fine” she said softly trying to calm her down. It seemed to work because she leaned into her, letting her continue her work

After 30 minutes or so the wounds were carefully redressed and Eve smiled at her

“We’re done” she said excitedly

Villanelle looked at her arm, the dressing so careful and clean, then she turned towards Eve

“Do I get candy?” she asked, cheeky as ever, the woman laughed


	4. chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a young tree. For those who asked. His name was "flaco"

When Eve put away all the medical supplies and went back to the main room found Villanelle sprawled on the couch watching TV quietly, her attention totally entrapped by one of those kids movie… frozen or something.

“Want towatch it with me?” asked the girl with tired eyes

“How about you sleep for a while and I go and buy things you need”

“But I want to watch this”

“Well then I go out while you watch the movie”

“But I don’t want to be alone”

“What?” asked Eve confused

“Please?” mumbled Villanelle feeling exposed and stupid.

“Vi-look we really do need this things, you need clothes that fit and…”

The girl huffed annoyed and whimpered into the pillow that was under her head “Fine” she said speaking into the fabric. She felt silly, her stomach was rolling with nerves, she just didn’t want to be alone!

Eve smiled and had the urge to pat the girl’s head.

“I won’t be long”

“Sure, I’ll behave”

“Thank you”

“When you come back can we watch a movie?” she asked, her eyes closing softly, she was tired. Eve was right, she was probably going to fall asleep

“Sure we can” said the woman putting a blanket on top of her, Villanelle cuddled into herself.

* * *

Eve went to several stores buying clothes for Villanelle. She knew the kind of clothes the woman was used to wearing, but in this part of London it was impossible to find a top brand store, besides she didn’t know when Konstantin would come back looking for her even if he had promised to do it quickly.

The money had to last, so she bought normal and comfortable stuff, cotton shirts and underwear, a pair of jumpers, leggings, trainers and yoga pants.

She also bought a plastic cover for the bed _just in case_ and despite early reassurances from the girl she also bought some bedtime protection. After getting _that_ out of her mind she headed back to the flat, just two hours later.

She stepped into the flat with her hands full of bags and a bit of a foul mood for living in the upper floor and noticed that the couch was empty. No sign of Villanelle _again._ She put the bags near the table and headed to the bed immediately and knelt right at its side 

“What happened?” she asked dropping to the floor, her eyes meeting a pair of red, swollen hazel eyes.

“You came back” said the girl in a surprised tone.

Eve felt her heart squeeze. Villanelle was an extremely damaged individual. That was for sure

“I’m not going to leave you” she said grabbing her again by her good arm and pulling her out “Look at you, you’re all dusty!”

“You won’t leave?” was asked in a soft voice. Villanelle was wired up, she seemed scared.

“I mean… not by choice” said Eve quickly, trying to answer with the truth but makign sure to consider the danger in which they were in. Villanelle was being chased by a murderous association, ‘not leaving’ wasn’t something she was able to promise just like that. 

+++++

_“Sister, when’s mama coming back?” asked a small blond with scrapped knees and ratty clothes_

_“Child, look at yourself, no one is coming back”_

_“Sister, but I have a mama” cried the girl twisting the ratty dress in her hands, the woman with her pointy nose and foul attitude looked at her up and down_

_“Look at yourself, no one is coming back”…….._

_++++++_

“I won’t leave you, come on, you need to sleep” said Eve taking away the knife Villanelle had picked again

“Alright”

Eve bit her lip and wondered if it would be a good idea letting her sleep without putting the plastic cover, but she just seemed so lost and vulnerable she didn’t want to upset her anymore.

As it turned out, she didn’t have to worry much, since the girl didn’t fell asleep for one second. She was just there, lying in the covers, staring at Eve as if she was going to disappear at any given second.

++++++

_“Mama, please, please don’t leave”_

_“Shut up Oksana, I’ll be back in a fortnight” her brother began to cry. Her brother was always crying_

_“Mama, please… don’t leave”_

_“Shut up” she said and pushed her away._

_She pushed her away_

_´+++++_

“You won’t sleep?” asked Eve softly, Villanelle shook her head, blinking slowly, like a cat “How about a movie?” she asked, Villanelle nodded this time, trying to keep awake and let go of the agonizing sensation in her chest that came with the fear of being left behind again.

Eve turned on the tv and quickly navigated Netflix, putting on a rom comedy that would lift the mood. Villanelle made herself a little ball in the corner of the sofa, watching behind her knees.

“Alright?” she asked softly, Villanelle shrugged and nodded, staying quiet. She was always supposed to be quiet. _Behave, I have to behave._ Eve saw her bit her thumb aggressively and decided to give some comfort to the poor damaged creature next to her.

Villanelle seemed to be a victim of everything that had ever surrounded her. Eve didn’t want to be so naïve though, there was a moment when Villanelle had to know what she was doing was wrong. But after everything that had happened and everything she had seen… she hated to be in the side of the good guys.

“Come here” she mumbled opening her arms, Villanelle looked at her puzzled, tip of her thumb still being abused by her teeth

“What?”

“I’m going to hug you” said Eve with slow words smiling

Villanelle blushed realizing she was being needy and pitiful then looked away

“Come on, I’m cold”

The Russian sighed tiredly and scooted closer to the woman who quickly placed an arm around her and used her lap for her legs. Basically she was sitting on her lap with most of her weight on the couch

“I’m being all needy, sorry” said Villanelle self-conscious, Eve smiled

“You’re not”

“I’m being weird”

“You’re not”

“Do you really not care?”

“You act like this all the time anyway” she guessed

“Do not” mumbled the girl affronted and embarrassed. Eve smiled

“It’s fine, I don’t mind giving comfort, I guess what you’ve been through has moved some gates that hadn’t been moved before”

Villanelle stayed quiet looking at the tv but not watching a single thing in the screen. Eve was so comforting, nice, king, patient, warm…

“She hurt me” blurted out of her mouth. Eve could tell this was something serious and painful so she lowered the TV’s volume and gave her undivided attention to the girl

“Mmmh?”

The words had come from an inside place in her chest that hurt to even think about. Every word coming out of her mouth was hurting her in this second. She _hurt her._ The place opened up again. Agony.

“My mother, she hurt me so I hurt her”

She stayed stiff, quiet. She didn’t want to move or to look at anyone. She hated to think the look Eve had on her face. She hated everything…

“Do you want to talk about it?” asked a soft voice

Villanelle shook her head and looked towards the TV, Eve sighed softly but pushed no further. 

They watched half the movie in silence, after a while she patted the girl’s legs

“I’m going to call some takeout” she said, Villanelle looked at her

“Can we have ice cream?”

“Before dinner?”

“For dinner”

“After dinner”

Roll of the eyes “Deal”

Eve smiled and shook her head, she stood up and called the order quickly, then came back with a glass of water

“Come on big girl, time for your meds”

Villanelle blushed to the tip of her ears and bit her lip, Eve chuckled

“I’m just teasing you V, I don’t care how old you act”

The former MI6 agent had a psychology degree and plenty of experience under her belt. Women like Villanelle had been something of a fascination to her but she also knew that everyone needed an outlet, a letting go.

Villanelle had suffered too much for quite a long amount of time in her life. It wasn’t fair to anyone to ask her to act grown up and composed, besides, in this childlike state the woman had adopted it was easier to control and take care of her

“Come on, drink these” she instructed handing her the glass and an array of pills

The young woman nodded and drank the pills, pulling a face at the chalky aftertaste and drinking the rest of the water in silence.

“Dinner will be here soon” said Eve sitting down and relaxing again, Villanelle looked at her from her spot in the couch

“Can I cuddle again?” she asked softly, Eve grinned and opened her arms, letting the assassin curl into her lap

Who would’ve thought an assassin could also _be_ a coddler?

They stayed in that position for the last 30minutes of the movie, until there was a knock in the door.

Villanelle’s demeanor changed in a second, she was no longer slouched and soft, she was stiff, ramrod straight, her muscles turned to stone and she stood up quickly making a bee line for the bed. Eve felt her blood chill, realizing that the girl she has been ‘taking care of’ was a murderer that could finish with her life in a minute

“It’s just the delivery boy” she said when she managed to use her voice, but VIllanelle was looking at the door with abject fear. She moved quickly and opened the door without any care in the world, finding the son of the owners of the small Chinese restaurant in the corner

“Hey Mrs. Park, got you this time” said the kid grinning, then he blinked scared and took a step back. Eve turned and noticed that Villanelle was standing there knuckles white around a knife 

“What are you doing!” yelled Eve angry, removing the knife from the girl’s hand in a harsh manner “Go back to bed!” she said angry, pointing inside the flat. Villanelle’s eyes filled up with tears and a shaky breath was made. The kid smiled awkwardly to her

“I’m gonna go Mrs. P, seems like you have your… friend there under control” he said

Eve sighed and smiled at him, then added quite a big tip for the scare.

“Sorry Tony”

“No problem ma’am” said the boy looking at the 20 extra pounds with glee “Whatever you need Mrs. P I’m on it” he said leaving with a big smile.

Eve closed the door and put the bags on the small table she had, she removed the clothes littering the chairs and turned to look at Villanelle who was a little pitiful ball, red eyes and knees tucked under her chin

“Oh come on!” said Eve sighing. The girl quickly scrubbed her eyes, trying to stop the flood of tears. Eve had a gut pain in her stomach, she was being like her own mother. It was awful. “I’m sorry honey” she said coming close and sitting in front of her “Did I scare you?” she asked softly

Villanelle shook her head embarrassed, hiding behind her knees

“Come here, Let me clean your face” said the woman grabbing a cotton shirt and using it. The girl looked at her in awe, as if no one ever before in her life had shown her an inch of love. Eve feared that might be true

+++++++++++

_“Clean up your mess” said the nun looking at the wet sheets, the little girl shivered in the floor_

_“Sister, but-“ it was the middle of the night_

_“Clean this stupid mess and tomorrow you get no covers and no bed if you can’t stop this!”_

_+++++++++++_

“I’m sorry, I always ruin everything”

“You really don’t” said Eve chuckling sadly “You just react, and life has taught you _this_ is the only way to react”

The blonde sighed tiredly and leaned into Eve’s touch with profound sorrow. She was so tired; of fighting, killing, running and hiding.

“There, all clean, just red and blotchy” a pout went out “Come on let’s have dinner so we can sleep”

Villanelle followed Eve towards the table tiredly

They sat on the small table and ate in silence, Villanelle ate as if her food was going to run away from her

“I swear there’s a lot more than what is on your plate” said Eve watching her confused, Villanelle blushed yet again. Konstantin always said she ate like a salvage

+++++++++++

 _“Sister,_ Алексей _stole my bread!” cried the girl, tears rolling down her cheeks_

_“You have to take care of your food, there’s no more” said the woman cold and serious, not even looking at her_

_“Sister, can I have more bread?” she whispered whimpering, the woman gave her a slap in the mouth, when she came back to her seat the rest of her meal was gone too._

_+++++++++++++_

“M’sorry” she said wincing, feeling her face stained with the Chinese food sauce

Eve cleaned her face again with a wet cloth and the sensation was very pleasant. She truly felt like a child, like when her mother cleaned her up after cutting the tomato. Her mother had said she wasn’t a child. But she had never seen her be one, how could she know?

“Let me get the bed ready. Why don't you pick a movie?” said Eve smiling, Villanelle nodded standing up.

* * *

Eve placed the plastic cover on the bed and for a good minute contemplated on how different her life had become since meeting the young woman. She used to have a chicken for god’s sakes.

Right in this moment she couldn’t regret anything, because it put her in that place in time and space; that made her feel selfish, she knew she had hurt plenty people to help Villanelle

She wasn’t sure what was going through the mind of the assassin, but she realized that as long as she took rein and treated her like a child she was going to be fine. The poor thing was touched starved and begging for attention. She was like a toddler looking for her mama.

Once the bed was made she went back to the sofa where Frozen 2 was playing on the TV

“Uhu, you really like those movies?” asked Eve sitting next to the girl, Villanelle looked at her

“I have never seen them”

“Oh, I thought you were a fan”

“Of course not, I am not a child” she said in a whiny tone. Eve hid her smirk and pulled Villanelle’s legs into her lap, the girl laid back and let herself be coddled.

* * *

Villanelle was asleep, turned into such a little ball that she had trouble seeing her in the dim light room. It was 5 am in the morning. Eve had chosen to sleep in the sofa, looking after the girl from afar. Her phone was ringing.

“Hullo?” she mumbled into the phone, blinking away sleep and coming close to the bundle that was Villanelle

 _“You have to get out of your flat, they know where she is”_ said Konstantin voice immediately.

Sleep fled her body, she stood to attention

“What?” she asked stopping in her tracks and heading to shake Villanelle awake. As she came close she noticed that the girl was all wet, a huge patch in all the sheets.

She patted the girl’s back quickly and she woke up with a startle

“ _They have deemed her too unpredictable, the call has been cast, she is to be disposed of”_ said the voice

“As if she’s a fucking dish rag?”

“ _Listen you need to move”_

Villanelle woke up and began to cry softly hiding her face in her hands, Eve couldn’t handle a breakdown right now, she quickly grabbed her good arm and led her to the bathroom, Villanelle all but ran behind her, red in the face and shaking all over

“SHOWER” she mouthed to the girl “Where are we supposed to go?” she asked to the phone, Villanelle shivered but nodded quickly, realizing that it was Konstantin on the phone

“ _Do you still have money?”_ asked the man serious, Eve rolled her eyes

“Of course I do!” how do you spent over 30,000 pounds on two days anyway?

_“Good, take a train to Aberdeen, I will travel to Moscow and get my daughter, stay there a couple of days, then we’ll meet you there”_

“And then?”

“ _I have a plan”_

“Are you sure about all this?”

_“Of course I’m sure, I charged a few favors and the information is reliable, there’s also money on my head but it’s considerably less than Villanelle’s so we have to get her out of there first”_

“How can I trust you?” asked Eve raking a hand through her hair. This was pure fucking madness

_“I don’t have time for this”_

“Well, I don’t have time to travel half of UK just because you say so!”

_“Eve, listen to me, Villanelle is part of my family, I’ve taken care of her since she was out of prison, I didn’t raise her… but might as well have”_

“Can I talk to him?” asked a small voice to her right, she jumped and notice Villanelle was there, in a bathrobe, hair damp, recently showered, Eve handed her the phone

_“Eve?”_

“Konstantin” said Villanelle gripping the phone hard “Where are we meeting?” she asked softly, she nodded in silence, then bit her lip “Yes, we’ll be careful” she said then she hung up

“We have to go Eve… I’m sorry about your bed again” she said

“Oh, it’s fine, do you really trust Konstantin?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“We can… not go and play it by hear”

“He’s my handler… his instinct is to keep me safe, I know it sounds stupid but-but I think he’s the closest thing I have to a family now”

She thought of her mother back in russia, her husband, her fake family… the fire.

Curiously enough Eve was also thinking about family, Niko, her friends and her life before Villanelle…

“Alright then, let me pack some stuffs, there’s all I bought for you yesterday, pick something, I gotta shower”

* * *

“It’ll be a crowded ride” said Eve watching all the people coming and going from the train station

“Yes, it’ll be better, crowded is better” said the young one carrying both bags.

They took the train and traveled in silence, Eve observed how Villanelle took in her surroundings, always alert, cautious, straight as an arrow… it must be exhausting be her. Always so guarded and careful. She knew objectively that her life was also in danger for being near Villanelle but she just couldn’t care right now, she was trying to keep the girl safe.

“You can sleep if you want, I’ll keep watch” she offered, Villanelle snorted

“What, you want me to make a mess?” Eve winced

“I’m sorry I-“

“Not your fault” said Villanelle quickly

“Talk to me” mumbled the older woman softly, the blond took a deep breath, and like every single time that place in her chest opened up she felt agony in her chest, her eyes filled to the brim with tears

“I do not want to talk about it”

There it was, the elephant sitting on her chest again. When could she catch a breath?

“Alright, it’s ok, here, have a biscuit” said the woman handing her a package, Villanelle took a deep breath

“My mother” she blurted grabbing the biscuits but not eating a single one

“What?” asked Eve confused

“I went to see mother” explained Villanelle again, this time a tear rolled down her right eye.

“Oh, yes, you mentioned that yesterday, you know, I didn’t even know she was alive” _it made sense though, Villanelle was quite young…_

“She isn’t …. Not anymore”

“Oh” said Eve quietly. Villanelle looked down, fists in her knees, posture shaking “She hurt you”

Villanelle looked up surprised, then nodded quietly.

Eve said nothing more and Villanelle didn’t know what else to say, it was hard to get it out of her chest, everything was hard

So this was what was wrong, thought Eve sadly. _Family._

Villanelle had been a victim since day one, and when something went wrong with family it was hard for anything else in life to be ok.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna upload this today coz' currently I have a lot of subscritions and since I have a lot of free time I always wish the authors I like would upload new chapters on the weekend (they dont') but we can start a trend xD

When they arrived to their destination Villanelle carried the bags while she managed the money, her hand bag and their passports. The city was a very touristic place, there was people everywhere, hotels and hostels in every corner, cafes, shops and restaurants littered the streets.

But someone was cranky. It had been a 7 hour trip

“It’s nice here” said Eve walking ahead, she noticed the girl was looking at her feet tiredly “Let’s find somewhere close to stay, you look exhausted” she grabbed Villanelle’s hand and pulled ahead

“Stop” mumbled Villanelle a little annoyed

“What?” asked Eve freezing in the middle of the street, Villanelle rolled her eyes

“Stop doing it”

“I don’t know what the hell you are talking about” answered Eve sincerely 

“You’re treating me like a child” said the former assassin in a whiny tone looking down to their intertwined fingers

“Well… I thought you liked it” answered Eve with honesty, Villanelle bit her lip

“I have enough in my plate with been a psychopath to also add in that I’m a freak”

“You're not a freak”

“But I am" 

"I don't want to hear you talk about yourself that way”

"Fine" conceeded the girl rolling her eyes

“I’ll stop if its annoying you” said the woman shrugging, realeasing her hand and walking away.

Villanelle felt a pain in the pit of her stomach and the elephant was back doing summersaults on her chest. What did she do?

“I’m sorry!” she called walking behind Eve quickly, the Asian woman looked at her puzzled “I-I…” how can she explain that she didn’t mean it, that she really did enjoy been looked after, that she didn’t care if she was also a freak as long as she felt safe, quiet and protected.

“You don’t mind then?” asked Eve taking away the need of further explanations

Villanelle sighed and relented looking down to the floor and nodding

“You really need a nap, you’re so cranky” said Eve placing a hand in a red cheek. Villanelle nodded again this time much quicker.

They walked another block and found a hotel that the Russian deemed clean and expensive enough. She liked nice things.

+++++++++++

_The little girl was cuddling with a dog, it was cold outside, it was always so cold in Russia. She had wet the bed again and her mother had kicked her out of the house since yesterday. She had eaten a raw potato and was hiding in the shed with her father’s dogs._

_She began to hum and move a little twig as if it was dancing. She didn’t have any toys._

_She wanted nice things. One day. She just wanted nice things._

_+++++++++++++_

The room had two double beds, a small living room and quite a spacious bathroom. Eve quickly began to put their things away and fix stuffs around while Villanelle looked out of the window quietly

“Come on, laid down for a while” said Eve coming close, Villanelle blushed and shook her head

“No, I’m just going to ruin that bed, I-I’ll sleep on the bathtub” she grumbled all flustered 

“What? Of course not! Come here!” she said rummaging among her bag and coming out with a thick nappy.

The color in Villanelle’s cheeks went impossibly high and Eve felt a little bad for her.

“Come on, you can’t stop sleeping” said Eve softly.

Villanelle bit her lip, she was just staring at Eve, frozen, completely shocked and scared.

Eve realized that this was _her_ job, she was here to _take care of_ Villanelle, she couldn’t ask her if she was comfortable with things that she _needed_. She looked at the younger woman still frozen and decided to be a little less awkward and a little more commanding, after all she had the roll of an adult here.

“Come here, sit next to me” she called

Villanelle shook her head from the other side of the room, lip between her teeth 

“Come on” encouraged Eve.

Villanelle felt like a toddler.

She walked quickly towards Eve and sat next to the older woman stiff as a board. She had never imagined her issues and problems would take her so far, this was _too_ much

“It feels like too much” said the girl gasping for air and looking panicked

“It isn’t. You need this, it’s alright, we can’t ruin this bed and this is a simple and quick solution, don’t think more of it” Eve was good reassuring her, making her feel safe. The woman stood up and placed herself in front of Villanelle “Come on, laid back and I’ll help you”

“No, no, no” said Villanelle trying to sprint. Eve held her by the shoulders “This is not how it is supposed to go! I’m 25 and an assassin, I can’t just laid down and be put in bed in a diaper!” she spluttered and Eve hugged her.

The dam broke and she began to cry hard “This is _her_ fault! She told me I was darkness that I couldn’t possibly be hers, she left, she took my brother and left me there, she chose to dispose me and left me at an orphanage and never came back!” cried the girl fisting Eve’s cheap gray jumper in her hands and crying into her abdomen.

Eve froze for a whole minute, before sitting down again and pulling the girl into her lap. Without heels or boots Villanelle was the same height as her so it wasn’t hard to manhandle her. The poor thing was still crying and shaking

“Oh Oksana” said Eve softly hugging her, the girl just cried harder in response.

Her whimpering was truly pitiful, it was something the girl had been harboring for quite a while.

“She said she left me there because I never cried but I did cry Eve, I did cry everyday” said the poor thing with raspy voice, thick accent and lost eyes

“I know you did” said Eve cleaning the girl’s running nose with the sleeves of her own jumper

“She abandoned me and then called me evil in front of everyone! And-and she was hurting my little brother and she had hurt my other brother too-and still people loved her” she cried, Eve sighed

“She was insane, you shouldn’t have gone back there” she began to pat her back and rock her back and forth “Everything is fine now, you’re fine, I’m taking care of you and soon Konstantin will be around”

“She was so mean Eve” cried the girl with racking sobs.

She continued to held the crying girl for at least half an hour, until she began to fall asleep hiding in her neck, softly deepening her breaths

“Hey, no, no, come on, let me get this on you” said Eve softly jostling her and standing up, the girl simply rolled into bed

“I don’t want to” she mumbled hiding her face in a pillow

“It’s not a question little one” said Eve smiling, Villanelle didn’t look up

“Come on, I’ll make it quick” she said helping her turn around and undoing the jeans she was wearing, the young woman managed to blush again

“This is not how I wanted _you_ to take my pants” Eve laughed

“You’re too little to think about those things” she said, Villanelle turned reed 

“Is this too weird?” she asked, her tongue passing over the small cut in her lip. 

“You’re too wired up, stop asking questions it’s time for a nap”

Villanelle sighed and covered her eyes with her good arm. Eve removed the trousers, revealing a pair of long, freckled, milky white legs. Eve smiled, Villanelle was very beautiful, but with a nappy in her hand and powder in the other she really didn’t have the right mind or inclination to do anything more. She wanted the girl to feel safe and protected. Anna had already abused her power and mixed it with sex.

She lined up the girl and removed the simple white cotton panties she had bought last night, then placed the nappy under her, put a light cape of powder and closed the tabs. It was a tight fit but it would do. She took a step back and smiled at how cute the girl looked in just a jumper and her diaper. She was about to make a comment when she noticed that the girl was already softly snoring.

“Poor thing” said Eve putting a blanket on top of her.

* * *

When Villanelle woke up, the first thing she noticed was the puddle of drool in which her cheek was lying. She was warm and very comfortable, all rolled up in a blanket. The blinds in the windows were closed and the room was a perfect temperature… so what woke her up?

“Come on, wake up, wake up” called Eve in a sing song voice. _That explains it._

“How long was I sleep?” she asked sitting slowly and rubbing her cheek against the blanket

“Around 40 minutes, but if you sleep too much then you won’t sleep at night” explained the woman, Villanelle whined, she didn’t want to wake up, she squirmed a little and noticed immediately that her nappy was damp and a little itchy

“Are you wet?” asked Eve coming closed

She felt really embarrassed. She just wanted to be normal, she didn’t want to be a freak. She kind of hated how soft Eve made her feel all the time. She hated it but at the same time she lived for it. It was so confusing!

It was like having something she didn’t even know she wanted dangle right in front of her, ready to be taken, but Villanelle had never experimented something like this.

She wanted to feel this soft every day and every single second if possible, but she also felt hate and disgust for herself.

She was still pondering her situation when a hand came close and patted her nappy

“Yup, you wet, scoot so I can change you” said the woman, Villanelle blushed and glared

“I’ll just take a shower” she said quickly, but Eve had already removed the blanket and her yellowish nappy was in plain sight

“Come on, I’ll be quick” she said, Villanelle laid back and put her hands away in a surrender manner, then her right arm covered her face while Eve removed the nappy and clean her up with wet wipes

“Are we having dinner?” asked Villanelle softly, Eve smiled

“We can go out, it's nice outside, find some place to eat shouldn’t be hard”

“I don’t want to go out” grumbled the girl lifting her hips so the panties could be slid on

“Why? Are you grumpy? Should I let you sleep more?” asked the woman softly patting her head, Villanelle bit her lip, there were butterflies in her tummy. There wasn’t an elephant now. It was nice.

“I’m trying to be big and my head is pounding” said the girl sitting up and wincing

“Oh, I’ll give you some painkillers” she said serious. “it’s probably because all the crying you did before falling asleep”

“I’m sorry I-I don’t know why that came out”

“Don’t worry” said the woman placing a hand in her cheek “I’m here for you” Villanelle gulped visibly, she was not used to see concern and tact directed to her. It was unsettling at best.

“Alright then, I-I’ll have the painkillers and I’ll pretend I’m a tourist” said the woman sighing, Eve grinned

“There’s a fun fair in town, have you ever been to one?”

Villanelle shook her head quiet and Eve’s grin went wider

“We’ll do that then!”

“Yes ma’am” said the girl rolling her eyes, Eve laughed

“I prefer mommy” she said winking, Villanelle turned bright red

“You’re so annoying today!” she grumbled, laughter was the only response.

* * *

After fixing her hair and drinking her meds Eve led her out of the hotel and walked like tourist in the middle of a city that was filled with people with the same intentions. Everything was nice, warm and she felt almost carefree

“Can we have some ice cream?” asked Villanelle a little shy, she didn’t have any money.

“We haven’t had dinner”

“You promised last time and never got any!” she pouted, Eve chuckled, after the knife incident they had gone to bed early so there really hadn’t been any ice cream

“I’m not sure you deserve it”

“Pleaseeee Eve!” she whined, the woman laughed at her and then relented, getting close to the first vendor who was selling ice cream, buying them two small cones with the promise of a healthy dinner later

“We can go to the fun fair now, my headache is gone” said Villanelle smiling.

Soon they grabbed a cab that took them to the outsides of a huge funfair that seemed to be boiling with tourists

“I’ve never been to one” said Villanelle quickly grabbing Eve’s hand and looking excitedly around

“…Why not?”

“Konstantin, he-he didn’t used to take me into the public I had less self-control back then” she explained, lights, loud music, lots of people wasn’t a good combination to go along with her. 

“What’s the deal with Konstantin, are you sure we can trust him?”

“He’s my handler… he took me out of prison, he took me away from Dasha and has kept me alive all this time”

“And you plan to continue working once you’re back to him?”

“I do not want to do this anymore” she confessed “I am tired”

“Can you do that? Quit I mean”

“Konstantin is leaving too is he not? He will take me with him” she said this with upmost certainty 

“You trust him?” asked Eve again, Villanelle sighed and looked down

“His job is to keep me alive, I do trust him” she said shrugging, then she looked at the bright rides right in front of them “Can we get on that?” she yelled excitedly, Eve chuckled

“If your arm isn’t not hurting too much, sure”

“Really?”

“Of course, why else would we be here?”

Villanelle grinned and began to check all the rides around them. Eve tried to hide her amusement

The young woman was so silly! She was 25 years old and she was just so full of energy and passion! She was very cute.

They rode pretty much every game in the fun fair, they skipped the smallest games since Villanelle was too tall to fit in the small cars (oh she tried). They got around 10 different rides and by the end of it Eve was dead tired. Villanelle however kept jumping around looking for games and food.

They ended up having hot-dogs as dinner and although it wasn’t healthy it was fun and nice.

She had won her a cheap, ugly, brown teddy bear that now hung from her hurt arm. She had enjoyed every single ride like a kid and even asked twice for the roller coaster, but honestly, Eve was too tired for another line and ride.

“It’s time to go back to the hotel” she called

“Why?” asked Villanelle with a big whine

“Because it’s closing time” said Eve laughing looking around at all the drunk happy people chattering away and leaving the place

“Oh” she said surprised “I really loved this!” she said hugging her stuffed animal. She looked so cute it was impossible to consider her a danger to society.

“I can tell”

“Thank you for this, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy” said the girl quietly, then she stopped in her tracks, Eve did too and looked at her

“Everything alright?” she asked confused

“Can I kiss you?” asked the Russian softly, Eve was about to say something when Villanelle came close and shyly planted a kiss on her cheek. Big brown eyes looked at her amused

“You’re so adorable”

Villanelle looked down and again toyed with her lower lip, feeling the scab that was forming in her lip. She felt happy, she could live of Eve’s approval.

“Come on, back to the hotel with you”

“Are we going have sex already?” she asked excitedly

“What?” Asked Eve confused

“Sex, I mean, _you are_ going to try to sleep with me”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“What?”

“What?”

Both woman looked at each other.

“You kissed me in a bus” said Villanelle glaring

“Yes but I wasn’t changing your diapers then!” she said angry, Villanelle shrank into herself, shoulders almost reaching her ears and face turning red

“But-but I’m an adult!”

“Not when you’re with me you’re not” said Eve serious. Villanelle gulped.

* * *

Eve took her back to the hotel in silence and Villanelle felt too shaken to do or say anything.

Back at the room they began to get ready for bed in complete silence. It wasn’t’ until Villanelle came out of the bathroom after brushing her teeth that Eve decided to speak

“I think we need to talk about this” she said, Villanelle flinched and felt self-conscious abut everything. After all, she was the one that was weird here.

“Do we really?” she asked making a funny voice and a tired face

“Yes, don’t be an ass, sit down” commanded Eve serious, the girl pouted immediatly and sat down obediently. 

Eve grabbed a chair and placed it in front of her, sitting down and looking calm as ever 

“What did you mean I was going to try to have sex with you?” she asked quickly, Villanelle frowned and looked away

“Umm…most people after a while they-they usually try to have sex with me, especially if there’s favors included like helping me after I hurt my arm”

“So you thought I was going to exchange that favor…”

“With sex, yes” 

“That’s not nice Villanelle”

“Is not?” said the girl confused. That’s how her world worked. Money, drugs, sex and power, the four pillars of her business. She began to bite at her thumb a little nervous.

She didn’t have the right answers to Eve’s questions.

“No, I didn’t help you to have sex with you, I helped you because I care for you”

Villanelle looked at her confused, as if her words made no sense to her

“Care for me?” _maybe they didn’t make sense to her_

“Yes, I wanted to help you, because I want you to be alright”

“Like Konstantin?” the man was always going on and on about how he was always looking out for her and how she had to behave or he would turn an early grave.

“Yes, a little like Konstantin” conceded Eve

“But no one is paying you” she mumbled confused, Eve’s eyes softened

“No one has to pay me”

“Not even me?”

“Especially not you”

“So… you’re not going to have sex with me?” confirmed the girl, maybe the message was another one. She still had hope.

“While we have this dynamic I don’t think so”

Villanelle looked down to her knees

“And if I prefer sex?” she asked

“Do you really?” responded the woman with a smirk, the blond blushed and looked away “I’ll give you time to think” offered Eve serious

“But why can’t we have both?” asked the girl whining “We can have words, we can do the whole thing I promise I’ll learn the terms and everything” Eve snorted

“I just don’t think it would work right now I can't tell you apart, you're all the time little and I don't want to taint that, maybe after a few months when you're more collected we can revisit this talk” she said honestly, Villanelle probed the scab in her lip, Eve rolled her eyes

“Stop doing that, you’ll open the cut again”

Villanelle huffed and pouted

“I like when you treat me small”

“In the complete spirit of honesty, I like it too” Eve was going to be as honest as possible, she never thought caring after someone could be so soul filling and nice. She liked the girl and something inside her longed for her to be care free and happy

“I don’t want to lose that”

“I know”

“But I don’t know how-how…” the girl frustrated and huffed

“Easy” Said Eve grabbing her hands, this relaxed her. 

“Sometimes I just do things and then I think them better…” said Villanelle frowning

“You don’t know how to act?”

“Something like that…”

“You’re going to have to use your words Villanelle”

The girl cringed and huffed

“I don’t know how to control myself, I usually get what I want and I can be….”

“Spoilt, I know”

“But I like it when you treat me small” repeated the girl softly, looking a little shy and embarrassed

“I know” said Eve smiling softly to her. It was like coming home, grabbing a blanket and being warm in front of the tv all day long. Eve was like coming home.

“I want to try that for a while if that’s fine?” she asked softly, afraid of being mocked

“I think that’s fine”

“And maybe someday try something else.” added the girl quickly, Eve snorted

Villanelle smiled, Eve opened her arms and the girl quickly climbed into the lap and hugged her.

* * *

It was late when Villanelle finally let Eve stand up and get ready for bed.

“Come here” she called after the girl climbed into bed

“What?” called Villanelle whining “I already brushed my teeth”

“Don’t act silly, I want you to sleep all night long”

“Uh?”

“Come here and let me put a diaper, come on” said Eve softly, Villanelle thought about refusing, but she was tired of fighting back every single step of the way. She came close softly, bones all jelly and almost half-sleep. Her hand quickly headed to her mouth where she began to bite her thumb while Eve fixed the nappy on her.

“Am I weird?” asked Villanelle in a soft mumble around the tip of her thumb

“You’re many things”

“That doesn’t answer my question” She stopped biting her thumb and softly placed it inside her mouth. She somehow _knew_ it would feel safe to suck her thumb.

“Ack! Give me that finger” yelled Eve, Villanelle began to whine, she was really sleepy “I’m just going to clean it for god’s sakes, you big baby” said Eve laughing, using a wet wipe to clean the finger

Villanelle blushed and scooted away in just a nappy, she found her spot in bed and began to curl into herself. It was funny how someone as tall as her could make such a little ball.

“You’re not weird, you’re the most precious, cute and adorable creature in the world” said Eve coming close and hugging her from behind. Villanelle preened and cuddled back. Soon they fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the sex. Not my thing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How 'bout a monday update? those always cheer me up. XD  
> AND BOOOOOI do we need cheering up.

The next morning Villanelle woke up to Eve cleaning her face with one of the bed sheets

“Stop!” she whined pushing her away, Eve laughed 

“You have drool all over your face!”

“Stop!” she whined again, Eve began to tickle her and an honest to god giggle came out of the girl.

Eve looked surprised at her, she had never heard that noise coming out of her “Come on, we gotta meet Konstantin”

“He called?” asked the woman quickly sitting up

“He did, about an hour ago, he has Irina”

“Oh..” Villanelle sucked her lip in, something heavy settled in her stomach. She would always come second to the little spit fire, she was everything to Konstantin. “I-I’m…”

“Come on, get to shower, I’ll began to pack and we can head out” ordered the woman folding clothes already, Villanelle squirmed again and noticed that her nappy was dry. A small victory that was truly just a few hours long.

“Where are we eating?” asked the girl stretching

“Some cafe Konstantin picked” she said shrugging, Villanelle was suddenly in front of her

“Can I hug you?” she asked softly, Eve grinned

“Are you going to ask me every single time?”

“I do not know how this works… “

“Well, so far we’re playing it little by little”

“That’s why I’m asking” she said in a meek tone with a smirk in place, Eve chuckled

“You can kiss me, hug me and hold my hand whenever you want” said the woman hugging the girl into her chest. Villanelle melted into the comfort and smell of Eve, she kissed her cheek softly, hiding her face in her neck as soon as she felt comforted.

“I like this a lot”

“It’s fine”

“I’m nervous” she confessed, maybe Konstantin was mad at her. _Better to get that out there_ “Eve, maybe Konstantin is angry at me”

“And why would that be?” asked the woman to see her face, the girl made a face

“I messed up the last job”

“I’m sure he’s long over that” said Eve sighing and hugging the girl again, Villanelle let herself being held.

“You will take care of me if he gets mad right?” she asked in a very soft voice, Eve nodded.

* * *

“Come on, I think is around this corner” said Eve walking ahead watching her cellphone, again Villanelle was carrying both bags while she carried only her handbag, the girl didn’t seem to struggle.

“I feel nervous and I do NOT want to see him” said the blond quickly in one breath. The elephant was back, stomping on her chest, making her stomach feel funny.

“Hey, relax, it’s alright to be nervous, but you have nothing to fear, Konstantin loves you”

She barely stopped, they were pretty close and she was pretty hungry so she kept walking

Villanelle frowned… ‘Nervous’. She didn’t like what that felt like. Her training had included so many triggers that she was always cool, cold and standoff. Why did she care so much what Konstantin thought of her?

“But she has Irina”

“So?”

“She has Irina and she’s real little”

“What?”

“She is his real daughter”

“Oh Villanelle, stop worrying come on” said the woman rolling her eyes and pushing her hair away of her face, the girl looked at her also annoyed

“But-but I don’t want to, he’s going to be mad, he is going to give me a new assignment” Villanelle was rooted in the sidewalk, refusing to walk, Eve closed her eyes and took a deep breath

“He’s not going to do such thing! And if he tries, we’ll go in our own”

“You promise?” Eve was starting to become used to that soft, scared tone of voice.

“I promise, I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore”

“You’ll stay with me right?” she looked around, making sure no one was hearing

“What?”

“If Konstantin tries to take me away…”

“Why will he take you away? We’re together in this” said Eve serious

“But if he tries, will you stay?”

“Of course I will”

* * *

The walk towards the meeting place took less than a block, and Konstantin saw them immediately.

He stood up and walked towards the girl who in turn broke into a run and ended up in a big hug. Eve picked up the forgoten bags and reached them after a minute, huffing and struggling with the weight.

“Hey” greeted Eve reaching them, watching the girl still lost in the hug with her eyes closed. She felt a little jealous, after being the anchor of affection of Villanelle this past two days but she could also see how much Villanelle loved Konstantin and vice versa. She didn’t want to get in the middle of that

“Hi Eve” said a tall, lanky teenager that seemed much more centered and mature since the last time she had seen her. She also seemed quite subdued, probably her time in Moscow wasn’t as pleasant as she thought. 

“Hi Irina! Long time no seen” she greeted smiling, it wasn’t a good idea to get on the bad side of the girl, after all she was the daughter of the man who was going to get them out of this mess

“I missed you” she heard Konstantin said, then turned back to see him pulling back and smiling down to Villanelle “Even when you are so annoying!”

Villanelle blushed and looked down “I missed you too” she mumbled biting the tip of her thumb softly, then she turned towards them “Hi Irina” she said to the girl shy.

She didn’t want to fight, she didn’t want to create more havoc or problems, she just wanted peace, and she was tired of the pandemonium her life had become.

Konstantin and Irina seemed so surprised that Eve had to chuckle

“I guess she’s surprised to see you” commented the woman amused

“I think I did the right thing leaving her with you” said Konstantin with a deep chuckle

“Sure, I’m free whenever” said the woman sarcastically, Villanelle scrunched up her nose at being talked about like a toddler miss behaving.

“Sit, sit, we’ll order lunch and tea” said the man not taking his eyes off Villanelle. The girl was smiling, the attention was for her, and she loved having people attention.

Irina on the other hand was finally happy of being off the hook of her overbearing and exaggerating father. She was at that age she wanted less attention and a little more freedom.

She knew Konstantin was just reacting to her running over her mother’s boyfriend. She took a small shaky breath _that_ had been quite the mistake.

“Sure, we’re starving” said Eve smiling, Villanelle nodded quickly

While they waited for the waitress to show up Villanelle smiled to him shyly

“How wonderful to see you” she said. The man smiled, he could see little changes in Villanelle, she was usually chaotic with a little bit of a childish flare, but this time she was… just a child, without the chaos in her, she was soft around the edges. She was wearing a pink sweatshirt with soft jeans, she looked just like any other young woman in the city.

He had seen this _childish_ behavior before back in jail. But she had fixed herself before seeming too soft. She couldn’t’ be a child when he was looking for an assassin.

“It’s nice to see you too, how’s your arm?”

“It’s great, Eve put me stitches”

“And you let her?” asked the man surprised, coming close to Villanelle with a needle was often dangerous

Villanelle nodded quickly. The waitress came in that moment and took their orders with a smile, soon he was gone and the girl continued her tale

“I behaved! Remember how you are always saying I have to behave” her voice was higher, her cheeks pink and excited, she was smiling so much that Konstantin found it refreshing and surprising

“Yes, but you never listen” he said laughing

“I listen now” she said resolutely, Konstantin laughed hard 

“So what’s the plan?” asked Eve drinking from her tea, she loved watching Villanelle so carefree but this was kind of an important meeting, The man took a drink of his hot tea and a deep breath, he was about to speak when his daughter beat him to it

“We are going to Cuba” said Irina smiling “Dad has the passports and all the fakes ID’s” she explained “We have to lay low”

“Cuba?” asked Eve frowning

“It’s the most secluded place right now, later on, a few years into this whole thing we can move somewhere else, but right now it’s the safe choice since we’re too many to fake our death so easily, besides I have Villanelle’s money, I’m her handler”

“You handle her money too?” asked Eve surprised, Konstantin frowned

“It was a safe-fail kind of thing, Villanelle is too unpredictable, the twelve maintains her controlled through money and resources” he explained, Eve looked towards Villanelle who seemed embarrased to be considered something of a nuisance 

The waitress came by and handed pancakes to Irina and Villanelle while Konstantin and Eve had a full English breakfast.

“Villanelle and I’ve been talking and she would like to retire” said the woman once the waitress was out of earshot 

Konstantin raised his eyebrows and turned to look at his protégé, of course he expected her to retire, he wasn’t going to force the girl to kill anymore, he could see she was pushing herself too much after Russia.

He was about to speak when Villanelle stuffed her face with half a pancake, Eve looked at her surprised

“You’re going to choke! Spit that out!” she said placing a napkin in front of her, the girl had really exceeded herself and blushed, spitting out the food in the offered napkin

“Gross” said Irina laughing

Konstantin was a very smart man, he had taught Villanelle much of what she knew and he had taken care of her for many years, yet he had never seen her like _after_ Rusia, he had seen her stressed, nervous and even chaotic, but never scared and lost. He wasn’t going to let her kill again and he wasn’t going to leave her sight. 

“Of course Eve, take that for granted” said the man once Irina calmed down and the blush in Villanelle’s cheeks receded

“How old is she again?” asked Irina snorting, Villanelle glared at her and Konstantin was quick to intervene

“You promised, no teasing” Irina sighed

“Sorry” She _had_ promised

“Promise to me too?” asked Villanelle looking at Konstantin with big flooded eyes

“What?”

“Don’t break my heart” she mumbled, Konstantin smiled

“I promise, no more work”

* * *

After lunch they headed to the train station that would take them back to London just in time to get to the international flight.

Villanelle was quiet, clinging to Eve’s hand everywhere she went and looking at her for direction. Eve on her side seemed just happy to lead the girl everywhere.

“She’s odd…” said Irina to her father after a few hours of train travel “She’s not at all like I remember her”

Konstantin shifted in his seat. He loved her daughter, but sometimes she was too observant for her own good.

“I think you’ll get the job to be a big sister” he said watching from afar how young and normal Villanelle looked. Her pink hoodie clashed horribly with everything on the train, yet she looked quiet and small. Not like her designer clothes that also tended to clash with everything but made her look sexy and powerful.

“Yes I can see that, but why? Don’t you find it weird?”

“Oh, Villanelle is many things, weird it’s on the list”

“And you’re fine with it?”

“She has led a hard life sausage, her mother abused her, her father left her, she was abandoned in an orphanage, she was told her family was dead, her teacher abused her, she was sent to prison when she was just 14… everything has been against her since the beginning, maybe she just needs to go back”

“Go back?”

“Yes, like when you needed your teddy bear-” he began, Irina glared at him

“Don’t ever talk about that” The man laughed, _teenagers_

“Just let her be, we’ll act as we see”

“Fine… she seems harmless anyway”

“She does” he agreed. Maybe he was growing soft with age, but he was finally hoping for the best. 

* * *

“I hate planes” mumbled Villanelle softly, wiping her sweaty hands on her jeans. They had been on the airport for half an hour now and heading towards boarding.

She looked at her reflection in one of the many shiny surfaces of the airport, she was wearing a pink hoodie that Eve had bought for her, everything she was wearing Eve had picked and bought for her. She wasn’t even handling money anymore, she had no control of her life right now, all she had was Eve, Konstantin and the promises they made. If they choose they could break her heart and kill her. She was trusting them with the last shed of trust she owned.

“But you’ve traveled all over Europe” 

“Yeah, I still hate them though”

“I didn’t know that…”

They continued walking and approached the last stores before boarding, Villanelle looked around

“Can I get a snack and juice?” she asked smiling, Eve nodded absentmindedly then looked at her surprised

“We need to get you in a diaper” she said suddenly, Villanelle turned red and looked around as if she had announced it in the airport intercom

“No!”

“Yes”

“But I’m alright now, I don’t need it”

“But what if you fall asleep?” Villanelle stomped her foot on the floor 

“I don’t want to wear a diaper on a plane” she said twisting her hoodie in her hands, from afar Konstantin and Irina looked at them confused

“Come on, I’m not asking” said Eve serious grabbing the girl’s hand and pulling her into the bathroom

“But I’m not asking either!” said the girl pulling her hand away, Eve stayed there looking at her serious

“Fine, this is how you wanna be? Every time you get embarrassed or annoyed you’re just going to pull away and act all big?”

Villanelle gaped

“No, but-but…”

“I’m telling you this is not optional, it’s a 12 hour flight!”

“I do not care!” whined the girl, her eyes filling with tears “I can hold it!” she whined again, Eve slapped her forehead realizing something

“You need a nap”

“I don’t’” grumbled the girl rubbing her eyes tiredly, sniffling _A nap sounded good_ “I’m not a baby, stop”

“Come on then, let’s board the plane” said Eve grabbing some random snacks with the intention to pay them

“Wait” said the girl turning a little pink “But-but” she was really sleepy

“But what?”

“Everything alright?” called Konstantin “We should get going” he said looking at his clock, Eve nodded at him

“Yeah, we’re just going to pay for this” she raised the peanuts and raisin biscuits she had grabbed for him to see 

“But Eve!” whined the girl in a low voice, prolonging the last vowel

“What is it Villanelle? I’m doing exactly what you wanted!” she said acting annoyed, Villanelle did a little jump and scrunched up her nose in annoyance

“Stop being mean!” she accused acting all righteous, Eve snorted

“I’m being mean?”

“Please, I'm sorry” mumbled the girl looking down and taking a deep breath 

“Now, that’s better” said Eve smiling “Come on, we’re just going to the loo before boarding” said to Konstantin, the man sighed annoyed but nodded while Irina looked down to the magazines lined up in front of her. 

Once again Eve took the lead and refused to hear any protests. She put down the items she was going to buy and grabbed theg girl's clammy hand. 

Villanelle felt out of her comfort zone, she wasn’t used to be taken care of and even more weird was being taken care of when it went against her express wish or made her embarrased. 

She _knew_ that waking up wet on a plane would be mortifying and the diaper was the safest option, but she was also 25 and feeling stupid.

“Let’s go to the handicap stall” instructed the woman. Villanelle was red in the face but did as told, because, why not?

Why would she deny herself the chance to be finally ok, safe and warm? 

Why everything had to be so hard?

She just wanted to let go and been looked after.

Diapering someone standing up was tricky and she was really embarrassed by the end of the ordeal. Eve made her feel far too many things.

“Come on, we gotta board” she said, Villanelle followed Eve out of the stall, except this time she was feeling a little more clingy and scared, the diaper wasn’t helping at all.

“I want a snack” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes with her fist. She felt the elephant coming to sit on her chest again

“Oh honey, come on, let’s get you that snack” said Eve softly cleaning the girl’s hands with a wet wipe. She whined softly

“I feel, I feel too much” She couldn’t put it in words. How normal people managed to communicate their feelings was beyond her understanding.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine” said Eve softly, hugging her towards her, Villanelle felt the elephant tumble, lose weight and dissipate into thin air, her need to babble also went away “Come on, you just hold onto me and we’ll be in Cuba”

Villanelle took a couple of big breaths and nodded, feeling a little foolish.

They left the bathroom only to find Konstantin waiting for them, sans Irina

“Where’s Irina?” asked the blonde quickly

“In there” said the man calmly, Villanelle winced and clutched at her hoodie again. Irina _knew_.

She was going to be mean and mock her and maybe even tell Konstantin that she was compromised and just a cry-baby.

“Hey, hey” said Eve quickly grabbing Villanelle’s hands in hers and rubbing her knuckles softly “Relax” said the woman smiling

“What’s wrong?” asked Konstantin confused, in that moment Irina came out of the bathroom with a blank look.

Villanelle felt so ashamed that she could only hide her face on Eve’s neck

“Alright?” asked the man confused and annoyed.

“Sure” said Irina shrugging her shoulders, Eve smiled back thankful, at least the teen seemed to be more mature since the last time. 

“Alright then, let’s go” said the man rolling his eyes, he was too old for this.

He was going into exile with three very temperamental woman. God help him.

Eve tried to get Villanelle to engage again but she was just clinging to her arm like a tick so she let her be, there had been too many emotions today, the girl was obviously a little distressed.

They walked in silence to the boarding lines, Eve bought Villanelle her snacks and the girl asked for an extra chocolate, Eve was about to refuse when she explained it was for Irina as thanks for not being mean; the older woman was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t like Villanelle to think on someone else.

It wasn’t like a psychopath to think about someone else but themselves.

At boarding they gave their respective passports, Villanelle was “Johanna Vasilev”, Irina was “Iliana Vasilev”, blood sisters daughters of “Viktor Vasilev” who was recently married to “Ava Park”

Eve had never handed a fake passport, _that_ made her a little nervous, but everything went without a hitch. _Money can get you anywhere nowadays_. Thought Eve absentmindedly

“Have a nice trip” said the man smiling to them, Eve smiled.

Konstantin came close and grabbed Villanelle’s hand like he had seen Eve do it all day long. He expected the girl to pull away, like she had done a thousand times before when he tried to be more than a handler to her. This time however the girl leaned into his shoulder and mumbled

“My stomach aches”

“Maybe you ate too much!” said the man chuckling, the girl glared at him “You’ll be fine, I know you hate planes, but we’ll be fine” Villanelle looked at him

“I’m sorry” she whispered

“What for?” asked Konstantin walking towards the channel that connects to the plane

“For quitting”

“It’s something we both had to do, you do not have to apologize for that”

“I could not _keep it together”_ she confessed, Konstantin sighed

“We don’t need you to keep it together anymore, we are risking everything to be free, there will be no more jobs” he said, the girl couldn’t help it, she hugged him and clung to his neck

“Hey, behave!” he said laughing, Villanelle pulled back quickly and nodded excitedly, she would be the very best behaved girl in the world!


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the weekend. I am going to watch LoL match and eat ice cream all night -w-   
> Have fun and take care.

Villanelle was given a seat next to Irina, while Eve and Konstantin were a row before across the aisle. It was a very long trip, so Eve was a little edgy.

“Can I ask what the hell happened?” asked Konstantin after one quiet hour into the trip, Oksana was watching a movie in Irina’s ipad while the other girl listened to some music in her book

Eve looked towards both, watching Villanelle chew on the cord of the earphones while watching with rapt attention the tablet in her hands

“She’s been through a lot”

“I know, I have been there for most of it”

“Well, then why didn’t you help her?”

“And exactly how is it that you are helping her, that’s what I want to know” said the man confused, Eve rolled her eyes

“She behaves like a child sometimes doesn’t she?”

“Yes, I’ve seen her like that many times”

“Well when you brought her to me so I thought I could just go with it…”

“You treated her like a child?”

“Hey, you left me with an international assassin that was in a mood, I didn’t know how to act ok? Cut me some slack here” Eve’s wild curls moved as she tried to explain her thought process to the man who was merely amused

“And she let you?”

“It wasn’t like that… she just acted out like a girl so I treated her like one”

“And she let you?” he asked again, Eve sighed 

“Yes, she behaves… and well I give her love and patience and you are going to laugh but hugs and kisses are in the works too”

“Well… you are still alive so I guess something is working”

“You mean to tell me you’ve never treated her this way?”

“She has not let me, she always pulls back at the last second, sometimes I see a shine through and I have to help and take care of her, but most of the time she keeps her distance”

“She was breaking down Konstantin, it was easier to give in that to try to make her grow up, behave and talk about her feelings”

“But-but she is fine?” he asked confused, looking towards the blonde

“Well, she’s been wetting every time she falls asleep” said Eve opening a magazine and going through it absent mindedly

“Oh yes, she did that only after Russia” he confirmed, Eve hummed

“Do you know what happened in Russia?”

“ _Do you_?” asked the man with his eyebrows raised in surprise, Eve nodded silently

“She killed her mother”

“And you just… hugged her?” asked the man snorting almost laughing again, Eve rolled her eyes

“Well she probably deserved it”

“You truly are the same” he said surprised “I sent her out there so she could realize that her poor mother was just sick and truly crazy and not evil, she was supposed to grow up and understand…”

“Oh come on Konstantin, she’s a child, the other night she cried herself to sleep because of the things her mother did to her, she deserved it!”

“Of course she deserved it!” he said angry “But she was supposed to handle her impulses, I’ve been there when she cries too, maybe not this past two days but I’ve been there”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, you’re right” she took a deep breath and relaxed in her seat

“She thinks very high of you, it was her idea to go to your flat” he said serious, looking at her for a reaction. Eve frowned confused

“What baffles me is that you don’t treat her like I do… I mean you act like her father”

“I’m her handler” the man shrugged as if saying his title would remove all emotional connection

“Bullshit”

“I wasn’t supposed to show favoritism, much less any kind of attachment, they would have send her away and given me another asset. I had to be impartial, handle the money, make sure she was eating and well, if they ever saw me hugging her, taking her out to the movies or giving her presents our lives would have been in risk”

“That sounds hard…”

“It was, because I love her”

“I can't really tell”

“She’s family Eve, I got her out so many years ago and I have seen her grow up so much… I will be better for her, I will”

“That’s much appreciated”

“She knew”

“What?”

“She knew that if we showed attachment the twelve would split us, so she always put this grown up barrier in between us, that’s why I could not do what you do”

“Oh”

“I think what happened in Russia broke something inside her, before she could keep it under control, _keep it together_ she calls it, but now she’s unable to do it”

“She is very affected…”

“Well I’m here for her now”

“Oh, she adores the fact that you’re here now, don’t worry” said Eve smiling to him, she had a new kind of respect for Konstantin, and she really hoped it would last. She hated being disappointed.

“I have much mending to do” said the man sighing “I focused in my career far too long and I’ve disappointed important people in my life, I think this retirement is long overdue”

“Is Irina alright?” asked Eve a little confused at the speech

“She killed her mother’s boyfriend”

“She-she… what?” Eve looked around trying to see if someone had heard them

“She ran over him with the car, first gear and she hit him straight on, you should have seen her face!”

“So when you said you’d gone to get her…” interrupted Eve quickly before he gave out any more details 

“I had to help her scape the prison”

“Oh this is priceless”

“I have not been a good father”

“I can see that” said Eve snorting and taking a sip from her coke

“Well, I am trying now”

Given their conversation as finished she grabbed a bag of peanuts and began to scan the movies the plane was showing. 

\---------------------------------…………………----------------------------------

A few hours passed in relative calmness, Eve noticed with a smile that Villanelle had settled as a little ball cuddled with the stuffed bear she had won her in the fun fair and was hidden in Eve’s handbag. She was covered in one of the plane’s first class blankets; at her side Irina was also sleeping head tilted back with big earphones on.

“Those two are going to keep us busy aren’t they?” asked Eve snorting

“Oh you have no idea” said Konstantin sighing “Part of the reason I got so attached to Villanelle was she reminded me so much to Irina sometimes”

“How is she dealing with the….”

“The murder?” he asked, she snorted

“Yeah, how’s she dealing?”

“Well, she thinks herself over everything, like most teenagers do”

“Is she?”

“What... a teenager?”

“No, over it”

“I don’t think so… she’s quieter than ever, she sleeps weird times, I think she’s not sleeping at night” he didn’t want to mention the panic attacks and the silent moods, he expected this change in scenery could help both girls.

“Well, killing someone is quite a heavy burden”

Konstantin stayed quiet, looking from afar at the red haired girl

“She’s just…sad, her mother won’t talk to her and she threatened to call the police if we ever contacted her again”

“Seriously?” asked Eve surprised

“Well… you have to understand, we both ruined that woman’s life” he said chuckling, Eve nodded pensive. They had ruined her very normal and common life too. Except she wasn’t really sorry about that.

_Chickens are overrated anyway._

They chatted for a while longer, Eve noticed the food cart was coming close so she turned towards the girls to ask what they planned to have for dinner when she notice that Villanelle was looking towards her with urgent teary eyes, Irina was also looking at her

“What’s the matter?” asked Eve quickly standing up and kneeling in front of them, Villanelle turned red but said nothing she just squirmed in her seat

“I think she’s wet” whispered the red hair, Villanelle glared with menace 

“Uh oh” said Konstantin quickly worried for Irina in a second. Before Eve, Villanelle was impulsive, violent and with little self control… she didn’t take well to be called upon her issues.

“its fine, everything is fine, right Villanelle?” asked Eve softly

The blonde’s face turned even redder and she began to sniffle 

“Now you made her cry!” said the teenager rolling her eyes, Eve winced and stood up

“Come on, let’s go to the loo” said Eve in a soft voice, Villanelle stood up and grabbed Eve’s hand as if itximximenawas a lifeline, luckily the flight was almost empty and first class did had its perks, there was only 4 more people along and all wanted to mind their own business

Villanelle was still tearing up as they walked the narrow aisle, she had woken up from a horrible dream in which she was trapped in a cage and her mother was yelling at her, everything was in fire and the woman was still yelling over and over that she was a monster, that she was dark and evil. She woke up wet, just to find that she was stuck inside a metal tin flying thousands meters above the floor. Her diaper was itchy, her stomach was rolling and her hears hurt!

“You need to take the diaper off and then put a new one” said Eve softly opening the bathroom door

Villanelle began to whine and the tears began again

“No! you do it!” she mumbled embarrassed, she felt too little and too hurt to do anything. Her stomach was rolling again. _Damn it._

“Hey no, listen we don’t fit in there together, come on, you gotta be a big girl for a few minutes” bargained Eve cleaning with her hands the tears that kept falling and cooling the red cheeks.

Villanelle pouted but nodded defeated, grabbing the handbag that was being offered.

She did as Eve told her and cleaned herself pretty well with almost 10 baby wipes, then placed the new diaper and put her jeans above like before. When she opened the door intending to go back to her seat Eve was there and quickly unbuttoned her jeans and fixed the diaper until it was properly taped. She blushed. Eve wasn’t angry or annoyed, she was smiling softly at the twisted way her nappy had been taped.

++++++++++++++

_“That damn thing is backwards, what are you retarded?!” yelled the woman slapping her cheek hard enough to bruise, the little blond girl shrieked in pain and grabbed her cheek, she looked down and noticed her dress was on backwards_

_“Mama!” she cried sobbing, stepping back and tripping on the floor_

_“You look stupid! Go put that on right!” yelled the woman grabbing the little boy that was crying and clinging to her dress_

_“Mama please!” cried the little girl shaking, wetting herself in fright_

_“Oh you little piece of shit!”_

_++++++++++++++_

“Villanelle?” asked Eve placing her hand in her cheek, Villanelle blinked and took a deep breath

“I had a nightmare” she said quickly “And when I woke up Irina told you what I’d done and Konstantin got cross at me and now he’s going to take me back to London” the girl was hyperventilating so Eve hugged her, a panic attack would not be welcome here.

“Number one, I think we can be pretty sure that Irina is not going to be mean to you she was just trying to help. Number two, I had a chat with Konstantin and he loves you and wants to be with you and he really wants to take care of you, now I need you to breathe and relax!” enlisted Eve amused

Villanelle looked at her surprised “He’s not mad at me?”

“He isn’t” she said kissing the girl’s forehead

“Excuse me ma’am?” said a flight attendant looking at them both with a practiced smile “The food cart it’s at your seats if you please…”

“Come on, I’m pretty sure you’re starving”

Villanelle nodded in affirmation and followed the woman back to their seats. Irina smiled softly at her and she felt her cheeks heat up again.

“Sorry”

“You didn’t do anything” said the teen shrugging

“I know I’m... weird” she said wincing, Irina snorted

“Yeah but Dad said I had to leave you alone”

Villanelle looked away, she guessed ‘being left alone’ was better than being abused or teased every day

++++++++++

_“You’re such a cry baby Oksana!” said the boy throwing more mud on top of the girl at his feet, they were in the back of the main building, dirt and mud all around them_

_“Leave her already Alexei, the sister’s just around the corner” called a boy a few paces behind them, head looking away from is mischievous friend._

_“You’re such a cry baby!” said the boy again laughing, Oksana’s tears left pale paths on her mud stained cheeks_

_“Stop being mean!” she whined pouting, she had slipped while chasing another girl and now he was teasing her, he was always teasing, pushing or stealing from her! She had arrived just 2 months ago and he was always making things hard for her._

_“Or what?”_

_“Stop it!” cried the poor girl when her pigtail was pulled, Alexei laughed harder_

_“No!” he said coming close intending to pull on her hair again, except this time Oksana pulled him towards her and threw her body on top of him, making him fall into the mud_

_“Stop it!” she yelled throwing punches with her eyes closed_

_Her father used to get into fights all the time, he had taught her how to defend herself, she had to fight back!_

_Besides, her mother was always grabbing her and hitting her, she knew how to throw a punch if needed._

_Luck was on her side this time, for the boy was as scrawny as Oksana so having her on top of him truly threw him off his game._

_“Get off!” he yelled pushing her, yelling every time a bony fist collided against his chest and face._

_“Stop teasing!” she yelled angry hiding her face in his neck and biting with mighty force into his shoulder and neck conjunction. The howling scream that came out of the boy was enough to attract the attention of every adult and child in the building that soon were around them yelling, pushing and creating general havoc._

_Oksana was pulled back and thrown away like a sack of potatoes, the little girl stood up limping and glared at the adults, not even sure of who exactly had threw her_

_“He started it!” she said immediately pointing at the bleeding and crying mess that was Alexei. She wasn’t much better herself; full of mud, hair a complete mess a top of her hair and blood all over her cheeks, she saw a teacher carrying the crying boy away. Oksana looked at the faces of everyone around her “He really started it” she said again, softly this time, a shiver went through her back._

_Everyone was looking at her with… fear._

_She was too small to understand what was happening, why she was alone, why her mama had gone, where was her papa and brother, she had too many questions and not one single answer. Of course she was going to lash out. But they didn’t know that, she didn’t know that, It wasn’t a very formal institution you see. They weren’t even in an important city where an orphanage might be needed. Her mother had just traveled to the next town far enough for her childish mind to forget and left her in the ‘orphanage’ with some 20 other kids from all ages, 5 nuns, a priest and 2 teachers._

_“You’re the most evil creature we’ve ever had the misfortune to take in!” yelled one of the nuns coming close and grabbing her arm_

_“Sister but he-“ a slap was given. Everyone in the courtyard stayed quiet. Villanelle put a small hand in her bruising cheek_

_“I don’t want your lies or inventions” yelled the woman, the girl began to cry, fat tears running down her cheeks “Seriously Oksana, you’re nothing but trouble” grumbled a woman grabbing her by the neck and pulling her into the building “no wonder no one came back to get you” continued the old woman, making her run next to her to keep up with her pace._

_+++++++++++++++_

Irina sighed

“I guess this time it’s going to be really shitty if we decided not to get along” she said, Villanelle nodded quiet.

The serving carts had quickly delivered their dinner, Villanelle just pushed her around to make it seem as she was eating, but she wasn’t really hungry, she should be but her stomach was still rolling and her head felt big and swollen.

“What I mean is…” continued Irina eating “I wanna get along, I don’t wanna fight” she said, Villanelle nodded again in silence “I know what it is to feel a little lost and like you need… comfort”

Villanelle looked at her with rapt attention, her hand softly stroking her bear’s hear

“And my dad… he was really worried about you, he pushed everything through with a lot of money so we could be here as soon as possible… maybe he’s an arsehole sometimes but he loves you”

Villanelle smiled to her

“Thank you” she mumbled, Irina just smiled and nodded.

“Why Konstatin had to go for you?” asked Villanelle confused “I thought you were fine in that fancy school”

“I killed mum’s boyfriend”

Villanelle looked at her unamused

“Was he a breather?”

“What?” asked Irina confused, Villanelle sighed

“How did you do it?”

“I ran him over with his own car”

“Oh, fun times”

Irina snorted

“Not for him, nor my dad or mum… she hasn’t forgiven me”

“I don’t think she will, mum’s are the worst” was said by the blonde with the upmost certainty

Irina stayed quiet, thinking. Villanelle stared at her

“I want my mum to forgive me” said Irina softly

“What you did wasn’t nice”

“I know that” she said a little irked “You’ve killed more people than everyone in this plane together, you don’t get to tell me what I did wasn’t nice”

“No need to get all defensive I thought we weren’t going to fight”

“Sorry”

“I know I’m a bad person, I told you I was a bad person. It’s not hard to be a bad person”

“And I told you you were just sad”

“Maybe I’m a bad-sad person” said Villanelle serious, Irina snorted

“Maybe you’re just an idiot”

“Hey!”

“Sorry. Habit”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anything else happens: I apologize for any mistakes on describing a country I've never seen or visited. Let's just pretend it's a random place in earth, coz I suck at geography and everything else that's not breathing and blinking. Sides, this is fanfiction, we make up shit.  
> After that, have a nice weekend guys. This was a shitty week wasn't it?

“Is that one! Grab that one!” called Irina laughing at her father while he tried to fish out the bags from the moving conveyor belt, Villanelle was giggling along while Eve tried to help him in vain. Cuba’s airport wasn’t exactly accommodating.

“I got it!” called the man proud of himself. He lately was getting the notion that he was too old to be doing this job and taking care of his daughters.

Irina laughed and Villanelle simply looked at him with a silly small smile.

She loved Konstantin and sometimes in the past she longed to be taken care by him but they knew the rules, there had always been a _safe_ distance in between them but Eve had told her she didn’t have to keep her distance anymore.

Konstantin in the mean time was also thinking about aproaching the girl and start being a little more paternal towards her. 

“Aren’t you hot?” asked the man looking at the flushed girl, she was even sweating

“Let me take your hoodie off” said Eve coming close, Villanelle shook her head and shrugged

“M’fine” she mumbled Eve, stepped back

“We have to go, the house it’s not near” said the man grabbing Villanelle’s hand, the girl let herself be pulled away, being followed by Irina and Eve close behind.

Outside the airport it was fairly easy to get a taxi and the newly formed 'family' got inside quickly.

“Geez, this weather is going to get boring real quick” whined the red haired teen, Villanelle was in the middle looking a little dazzled

“This place where we are going to live, did you buy it?” asked Eve, the man nodded while talking to the driver in perfect Spanish.

“Yes, it’s a small villa, very nice. You’ll like it” said the man mostly towards Villanelle who leaned into Eve’s shoulder smiling

“I really want a shower” said Eve laughing

“Yes, that sounds perfect!” said Irina

“You can do that once we get there” said Konstantin pleased that everything was going according to plan. Universe was finally moving on their favor.

The ride to the villa was long and secluded, which meant the place was also safe. The building was old but beautiful and Eve was a tad bit aware of just _how much money_ Konstantin had stolen. When they arrived Villanelle had lost the battle against sleep and was draped on Eve’s shoulder

“Can’t believe she’s sleeping again” said Irina frowning at the flushed blond

“Yeah, me either” said Eve frowning. Something inside her compelled her to check girl’s sleeping face wondering if Villanelle was actually feverish or just warm “Villanelle, we’re here, wake up” said Eve softly, the girl opened her eyes and tiredly followed Eve and the others out of the taxi.

They walked a lovely stone path surrounded by tropical bushes and plants, the house was beautiful, with bricks shining, tall windows and long columns. Once inside Konstantin began to give directions in a much more calm voice, he seemed to be finally coming down from the rush of having to hide in a foreign country 

“At the end of this hallway is your room” he said to Eve and Villanelle “I guessed you’d share, it has its own bathroom inside. Irina yours it’s on this other hallway left side, mine is right across and the bathroom it’s in the middle” he explained, Eve cleared her throat

“Actually I think it would be better if Villanelle and Irina shared room and I had the other one”

“What?” asked three voices at the same time, Eve sighed

“If these two start some feud or fight you and I will always be in the middle, I think is better if they both share the same space, get used to each other, tolerate each other and learn from each other”

“What!? I did not come this far to share room with some brat!” 

“No way! I’m not going to share!”

“I-I don’t think you’re thinking this through”

Three voices began at the same time and all Eve did was to raise her right hand

“Either Konstantin and Villanelle share, or it’s going to be Irina, I’m out” she said grabbing her bag and heading to the door Konstantin had mentioned before

Eve heard some yelling after closing her door.

* * *

The former MI6 agent began to look around, taking deep breaths and trying to take everything in. All the changes that were suddenly happening. She had no idea life could be so random.

The room was big, bigger than hers and Niko’s room.

The floor, like the rest of the house had beautiful hardwood floor and the walls were tall with big decorated windows. It was a very chic house.

The kind of place you’d only see on architecture and interior design magazine’s cover.

There was a very nice double bed in the corner, air conditioning in the room, a beautiful rug that tied the room together, a desk, a bare bookcase that she would fill in time –no doubt- and a door that was surely the closet.

She put her things down and laid in bed, it was freshly made, the bedding still smelt of detergent. At least there seemed to be staff.

The perks of caring for an international assassin were quite nice…

 _I should write a book._ She thought looking at the ceiling.

She stayed like that for a little while thinking about the logistics of actually getting around to write that book... when suddenly she remembered that Villanelle was alone with Irina and she probably needed changing and help with putting her things away.

She stood up and walked the expensive hallways until she reached the door Konstantin had pointed earlier, she knocked and Irina opened the door immediately

“Here she is you big baby!” said Irina rolling her eyes and crossing the room locking herself in the bathroom, or at least Eve asumed it was the bathroom. 

Eve entered the room that was much bigger than hers and had two single beds, one in each side, there was an elegant bookcase in the middle with a desk and a computer.

“Your room is nice”

Villanelle looked up from her bed, her eyes were red and her nose runny

“I do not want to share room with Irina please don’t make me!” she whined flustred, Eve sighed

“I’m sorry, but you two have get along in order for this whole thing to work out”

“But I hate it!” her hands turned to fists and she began to bang them against her bed“I. hate. It!” she cried every time she hit the bed

“I know and I’m sorry, but it’s something that has to be done and sometimes I’m going to make choices that you are not going to like, and that’s fine because you’re a little girl and most of the times if you’re patient and polite I will give you an explanation, but if you get all angry and puffy I will not speak to you like a big person and I’ll assume you’re beyond reasoning”

“That’s not fair!” she whined and suddenly –just like that- everything was _too_ much.

The eleven hours in a plane, her itchy diaper, the room situation and now Eve with more rules and her head was aching, her throat was sore and her eyes were itchy!

She just wanted to turn herself into a little ball and never come out of there. The tears came easy and she was scared of that. She was a great deal many things but she wasn’t one to cry over something like a new rule.

She felt a frightening sense of turning so soft she wasn’t even human anymore, she was like Sponge Bob, squeezing everything out of her.

“Hey, hey, I’m here, I’m right here” said Eve quickly sitting next to the girl who seemed to be shaking “Are you cold?” asked the woman confused. The room was fresh at best. It was quite warm.

“I-I don’t want to be soft” she said whispering, Eve frowned

“What?”

“I don’t know how”

“I-I don’t… I don’t understand” confessed Eve a little distressed. She felt out of her depth and a little overwhelmed, she didn’t even understand what had triggered Villanelle’s reaction

“Do you need me to get Dad?” asked Irina who was over her tantrum and looking at them from the other bed

“Yeah, that might help” said Eve rubbing her hand over Villanelle’s back

“Easy pretty girl, just take deep breaths and everything is going to be alright”

“M’teddy?” she asked suddenly scared that she had left it in the taxi, Eve smiled and pulled it out of her hand bag, giving it to the girl without any reprimands.

“You’re too flushed, are you feeling alright?” she asked. The girl took a deep breath, she was still shaking

She was in the middle of a crisis, she didn’t want to have one and so she was locking down.

 _Easy_. She was just going to sleep and send everything to hell, _then_ whatever _this_ was would be over.

“Not sure” mumbled the girl closing her eyes and falling asleep. Eve frowned.

Konstantin came to the room and looked at the sleeping girl, hugging her teddy into her chest, he came closer and placed a cold hand on one of the flushed cheeks

“She’s too warm” he said frowning

“She’s sick?” asked Irina rolling her eyes

“It could be the long travel… the jet lag, maybe the weather, it could be so many things, maybe after a bath and a good meal she’ll be fine”

The man nodded

“Diner will be at seven, I’ll let you two rest and clean up and I’ll introduce you to the staff when you get there”

Eve nodded in response. She carefully settled the girl in bed and began to remove Villanelle’s trainers, then her jeans, the girl half woke up at that

“Eve?” she asked softly

“Hey little one” she fixed a sweaty strand of hair behind her hair

“I feel icky” mumbled the girl whining softly, she was feeling queasy and weird. Eve nodded feeling more and more worried. 

When she was married to Niko it never occurred to her that she would be having children, Niko was sterile and even if time had been kind to them she didn’t put much thought into it. He worked with children so he filled his need of parenting thought that and it never occurred to her that she would have a maternal instinct. Yet here she was, worried immediately at the words “ _I feel icky”_

“Let’s give you a bath, a change of clothes and some food in you, it’s probably the long trip”

Villanelle whined the whole time Evepicked some clothes for her. She followed the woman into the bathroom that was really lovely; all in blue and white hues, fancy tile, new fixtures in the walls and excellent water pressure.

Eve took a deep breath and settled for a small shaky smile

“Do you need me to stay?” she asked, Villanelle frowned

“Yes!” she whined.

She felt bad enough accompanied she didn’t want to think how she would feel all alone in a new bathroom.

She thought maybe her crisis had died. But it was just in the back waiting for her to be alone and hit her back.

“Alright, I’ll help you” mumbled the woman a little flustered. Eve knew she had to step up her game, she couldn’t let down her little girl. She just had to get over this little fright of having someone depend on you too much.

You have to understand. Eve _is_ an independent woman. Her mother had barely hugged her in all her life and her father was no better.

She didn’t know what it was to depend on someone or having someone depend on you. If you think about it… it’s daunting. But life takes you to stranger places.

Here she was with a girl that she cared for and wanted to see better, someone who was working her way into her heart with her vulnerability and confusion around the simple things. If Eve was interested in Villanelle, she was even more invested now that she knew just _how much_ the girl needed her.

“I got you” she said taking a deep breath and removing the hoodie revealing a white undershirt that was damp with transpiration. Villanelle huffed

“M’cold” she mumbled softly biting her thumb, goose bumps exploded all over her skin

“Awww you poor thing”

Eve turned around and opened the faucet, setting the water at the right temperature and letting the tub fill

Villanelle was now in just her shirt, socks and a damp diaper

“M’diaper s’itchy” she mumbled squirming, Eve nodded quickly

“I know, I’m sorry” she did feel bad about that. She had to be a little more conscious that she wasn’t just thinking about her anymore. She had to be better for Villanelle. She had let her stay in that diaper far too long and she had to check the girl was feeling safe and calm before going to bed tonight or else the sleeping situation would end up in a big fiasco

Despite Eve’s intentions of keeping up a brave and happy attitude, it was obvious that Villanelle was coming down with something, her forehead was clammy and she had red patches of skin in her body.

She had to add _that_ to her list of worries. Was it still a list? Or just a way of living?

“I never get sick” grumbled the girl tearing up, voicing what both already knew. 

“Well, we have a first” said the woman sighing closing the faucet and coming close to the girl, removing the last items of clothing.

“It’s not nice”

“No, it never is” said Eve leading her into the tub and helping her sit

“When can I get better?”

“I’ll have Konstantin call a doctor” she said pouring water on the girl’s head and helping her wash immediately.

“I hate being sick” she whined again, Eve said nothing and began to lather the girls head with lavender shampoo, she scrubbed the scalp while the girl played with the water, Eve had the idea to maybe buy her some bath toys, it would be cute.

She handed Villanelle a sponge for her to clean herself but the girl only looked at it as if it was an alien, so Eve grabbed it back and began to scrub the girl’s freckled back.

“Let me go and get a towel” 

Soon Eve had her sitting on the bed all wrapped in a towel. She helped her put on a diaper and sports bra. Villanelle was feeling too hazy to help or fight back and she felt too sick to care about what she was wearing. Eve was drying the her hair when the door opened again

“Hey!” said Irina walking inside with refreshed attitude “Dad sent me to tell you dinner’s ready” Eve nodded and quickly grabbed clothes to dress Villanelle, Irina sat next to the half-naked girl

“Heard you’re getting sick?” asked Irina smiling, Villanelle shifted

“M’not”

“Woah!” called Irina surprised, Eve looked up from Villanelle’s bag of clothing

“What?” she asked immediately

“Have you ever had chicken pox?” asked Irina looking at the girls naked back, Eve cursed softly and came close, Villanelle was now trying to cover herself with the towel again

“Hold still” said Eve rolling her eyes

“No, no, no” whined the blond softly

“I mean I could be wrong” said Irina shrugging “M’not a doctor but those look a lot like what my classmate Rob got last year in the middle of school year”

“Come on, hold still”

Villanelle began to whine but Eve was already checking her back and belly that was, indeed, littered with a small red rash, that looked nothing like her freckles and moles that were also littering her soft unblemished skin.

“We need a doctor” said Eve sighing, Villanelle whined harder. It didn’t seem to be helping her case, but at least she was doing something. 

“No, no doctors” Her opinion was ignored, Eve finished picking out her clothes and began to help her dress

“Can we have dinner before?” asked Irina sighing

Eve snorted and put on a soft gray jumper on the girl and some shorts, Irina noticed the diaper up but said nothing about it, Villanelle however was red to the tip of her ears.

“Come on, let’s see if you can stomach something”

All three went to the kitchen where the food was kept warm, Konstantin was sitting there reading a book

“We need a doctor” said Eve walking into the kitchen, Konstantin nodded

“Yes, I call now, and they come after dinner, alright?” he asked, Eve was surprised that her orders were taken so seriously, Konstantin was really trying to be well with them.

“Are you alright?” asked the man towards Villanelle, the girl came close, sat on the chair next to him and dramatically clung to his neck, hiding her face in his neck and just staying there, Konstantin chuckled

“Please don’t call any doctors” she whispered, the man laughed this time

“If Eve says you need a doctor, then you need one”

* * *

“Oh, she’s definitely sick” said Irina pushing her plate away while watching the crying girl that was vomiting her dinner on top of herself.

“Oh shit, shit” said Eve standing up “Are you alright?” asked the woman softly, just in time for the girl to vomit again.

Villanelle began to panic, she hated being sick. Sickness was not something she knew how to deal with.

Her mother used to let her deal with sickness on her own. Not paying any more attention or coddling her at any moment.

“Come on breathe, breathe” said Eve quickly noticing the girl’s distress, Villanelle began to claw at Eve’s shirt and she kept getting sick, it was almost violent.

Konstantin was looking at her with surprised eyes, he had never seen Villanelle getting sick, except that time in Amsterdam… and the girl didn’t even remember.

“I’ll get a bucket” said the man quickly moving away

“We really need a doctor” called Eve

“Yes, yes, I’m calling!” yelled the man back

“Eve, help” cried the girl scared, her belly was cramping, she felt gross and her nappy was wet. She had peed from the fright.

“You alright, you’re fine, you’re just a little sick” said Eve quickly, surprised at the sheer fright in the girl’s eyes.

“No, no” whined the girl squirming in her nappy. She heaved again.

“Shit, shit, come on, let’s get you into bathroom” Villanelle began to really cry this time, she was tired.

Eve looked around and noticed that Konstantin was there with his cellphone in hand

“I called the doctor, he is on his way”

“Great, help me out, I need to get her in the bathroom”

Konstantin came close and picked up the girl without much effort, Villanelle clung to him crying. 

He took her into the bathroom and set her in the counter

“No, no, no” she cried, Konstantin froze at her frantic begging “Please don’t be angry, I’ll clean everything up” begged the girl

“I’m not angry at you” he said, Villanelle was crying hard, Konstantin put his hand on her forehead she was running high in fever

“Please, don’t sent me back, I can still work, I can kill please” offered the girl softly, Eve froze on the door and Konstantin sighed with deep sadness 

“Villanelle listen to me I don’t need you to kill anyone anymore. I don’t want you to kill anyone else ever again. I’m here to take care of you. There’s no one coming to get you, no one to take you away and everything is going to be fine, you’re stuck with me now” he explained

“Let me clean her up” said Eve coming close, Villanelle was shivering, sniffling.

“I’m going to change your clothes” said Eve softly, Villanelle nodded and helped, quickly in her wet nappy and nothing more, Eve removed it without comment and quickly helped her clean up 

“The doctor’s here!” called Irina’s voice, Eve got the girl out and put her in a night shirt and a diaper

“Come on”

“No, no doctors please, I feel better already” Eve tried to listen to the girl but Villanelle was only getting more and more frantic mumbling fast words that mixed with each other “please you promised they wouldn’t come for me, please, tell them I’ve been good” she trashed violently trying to get away, Eve held her from the waist

“Hey, hey, we’re both here and we are going to take care of you, no one is going to harm you” said Konstantin coming back into the bathroom and hugging the girl to his chest “No one is going to harm you, you need to breathe” he said over and over again. Villanelle was breathing so fast it seemed like she had run a marathon. “You’re just sick, we need a doctor too see you”

“It’s just fever” whined Villanelle

“It can be something more and it can be serious” said Eve releasing her waist

“I’ve been worst and not saw any doctors” cried the girl with big fat tears rolling down her cheeks

“Yes, but that was before when no one worried, now you’re stuck with us” said Eve cleaning the tears softly

“They not going to take me?” asked the girl softly her accent harsh and pronounced

“No one is going to take you anywhere” confirmed the man “Besides the poor doctor is so small you could snap him in two” said the man chuckling still hugging the girl, they waked into the girls room where a very small old man was waiting near the door

“Villanelle this is Dr. Rodriguez, he’s going to check you up” said the man softly, Villanelle whined in response. He sat on the bed with the girl in his lap. Soon the doctor came close and began to shine a small lamp inside the girls hear, then a thermometer. He asked to see her throat in Spanish and Konstantin pleaded with Villanelle in Russian to have her open her mouth, the girl cooperated after a few minutes of coaxing and the doctor checked his throat. Then he asked to see the spots in her belly and back.

Konstantin lifted up the girl’s nightgown showing the nappy as well, but Villanelle felt too nervous to be embarrassed and just squirmed as the doctor checked upon her

“Definitivamente es varicela señor, muy agresiva al parecer… debe haber estado en contacto con el virus” said the doctor with a soft melodic spanish, Eve came close

“What’s he’s saying?” she asked

“Oh, that you were right, it’s chicken pox” said Konstantin sighing, he immediately glared at the girl who had been silent this whole time

“Wasn’t she vaccinated?” asked Eve suddenly, Konstantin sighed

“She’s supposed to be” he said with a pointed look, Villanelle turned red “I gave you the appointments! You showed me the stamps!” he said angry, the girl flinched

“I told you I didn’t want to” she mumbled, tears falling again “You said I had to _deal with it_ and didn’t even come with me”

Eve sighed and looked at Konstantin annoyed that he had been foolish enough to fall into the girls games

“Well, she is an adult, she was supposed to go on her own” said Konstantin shrugging, Villanelle was sniffling softly.

The doctor wrote her a recipe for some medicine for the itch, fever and body pain “We need to get those” he said standing up with Villanelle still on his arms, the doctor continued to talk, giving instructions about how to deal with the girl

“He says it’s going to be an aggressive kind of chicken pox, taking in account her age” said Irina to Eve as they walked towards the main door, the agent looked at Irina thankful “He also says you need to keep her hydrated and lots of bed rest, and she must avoid scratching her spots”

“Thanks” said the agent softly to the girl who only smiled in response.

The doctor went away without much further information and Eve felt a little relieved, at least they knew with what they were dealing with. It wasn’t a mystery anymore, Villanelle was sick, and she would be worse for at least 4 to 7 days. At least it was a common disease.

“What a great way to start exile” said Irina watching Villanelle cry on her father’s shoulder

“M’sorry” cried the girl softy “I just don't like needles” she said in broken English, trying to explain why she wasn’t vaccinated

“I need to buy the medicine, come on, let’s get you back to bed” said Konstantin patting the girl’s back softly

Once in the room the man placed her on the bed and handed her the ugly cheap teddy she had been carrying around

“Try to sleep , I’ll be back with the medicine in no time”

“Where’s Eve?” asked the girl softly, placing her thumb into her mouth. The doctor was gone, she could stop worrying. Konstantin looked at her a little unsettled, the digit inside her mouth making her look so soft and small it was surprising.

“Here I am” said Eve walking into the room with a glass of water “Brought some water for you” she said placing the glass on the bed side table

“Are you dis-disappointed at me?” she asked around her thumb, Konstantin laughed

“I’m not disappointed at you” he said softly patting her head

“Why you never tried to have sex with me” asked Villanelle suddenly, removing her thumb out of her mouth and looking at Konstantin confused, the man winced

“I was married and you are my kid”

“I’m your kid?”

“Of course you’re my kid” said the man rolling his eyes and messing her hair, she sighed and put her thumb back into the mouth

“M’your kid” mumbled the girl, Konstantin smiled and left the room, leaving her alone with Eve.

He would go to the grave before admitting he had tears in his yes. 

“Come on, I need you to drink this” said Eve sitting next to the girl

“I don’t want to vomit again”

“You’re not going to vomit, it’s just water”

The girl eyes the water with disgust and Eve smiled

“You need to drink more liquids, you’re sick” she explained, the response was a roll of the eyes a big dramatic sigh and a few sips

“See? That wasn’t so hard”

“Can I sleep in your room?”

“But you’re all comfortable here” said Eve smiling, patting the covers and looking around, Villanelle pouted

“I don’t want to be alone, what if I get sick again?” she asked going pale almost instantly at the thought

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

_“Don’t you dare get close to the baby with your filth” said her mother looking at her from the stove, Oksana stopped in the doorway_

_“I-I don’t feel good” she mumbled, her voice was raspy, her nose was runny and she was shivering_

_“I don’t care, sit and eat” said the woman putting a bowl with water down oats, the girl sniffled and sat on the ratty chair, she began to eat feeling the food upset her throat so she spat out the mouthful she had taken and gagged_

_“Don’t be disgusting!” said the woman and slapped at her head, Oksana winced her vision went all blurry_

_“Mama please!” shrieked the girl_

_“Shut the fuck up” said a tall shabby man walking into the kitchen and sitting next to the girl, Oksana quickly made herself small like a little mouse and held her tears inside_

_“Are you going to work today?” asked the woman_

_“Don’t fucking start”_

_“Don’t fucking start? You’ve drank the last three paychecks, we need the money”_

_“You fucking need too much”_

_Oksana’s head was pounding. Her eyes were burning, she felt sick_

_“Don’t fucking go drinking today, your kids are hungry!” shrieked the woman, the men slapped the table, Oksana’s plastic bowl went flying to the floor_

_“That was the last fucking milk there was you idiot!” yelled the woman slapping the man_

_“Fucking hell!” the man stood up, he was much taller than the woman, Oksana began to shriek. She was scared_

_“Shut the fuck up!” yelled the man quickly turning around and slapping her. Her ear rang and her head vibrated, she tumbled to the side from the pure strength of the slap, she fell to the floor and crawled away to her room, she heard more yelling, someone threw something. Oksana crawled under her bed, she stayed there the rest of the day, alone, sick and scared. No one came looking for her._

_+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

_“_ Then I’ll be right at the end of the hall and I’ll be close enough to help you”

Oksana hid her face under her blanket and began to whimper

“Please Eve!”

Eve bit her lip and sighed, she was probably going to stay up looking after the girl anyway and maybe taking her to her bed would be easier, besides the poor thing was really seeking some attention.

“Alright, come on grab your teddy and that blanket. Let’s go” said the woman smiling, Villanelle grinned

“Yeeeeees!”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> League of legends 20' final is tomorrow :v!!   
> I'm not from the US but go vote! :D   
> Have an excelent weekend -if you want- I'm not your boss.   
> You know what? the beggining of this has no sense because I was lazy and didn't realize I ended the chapter in such a weird place. xD So go read the last paragraph. I do that sometimes. :v

“Eve you think-“

“If you finish that question I’m sending you back to your room” mumbled Eve half asleep patting the girls back softy. 

“I’m sorry” whispered the girl “I’m scared”

“It’s alright, I’m right here taking care of you”

The girl finally fell asleep and Eve relaxed a lot more knowing that at least the girl was safe. She fell asleep right after her.

* * *

Eve had gone to bed exhausted. She had just closed her eyes and was done with the world, at least for a few hours.

She was aware to be dreaming but woke up because someone was whimpering in her dreams, she seemed to be looking for the source of such distressed noises in her dream and ended up waking up next to a trashing and crying blond. 

“Hey, hey” she said quickly grabbing the shoulders and softly shaking her, the girl opened her eyes quickly and battled her hands away overwhelmed.

She had tears in her cheeks, her breathing was harsh and she was sweating. 

“Are you alright?” she asked quickly coming close, suddenly she had her chest full of a crying girl, clinging to her “It was just a bad dream sweet” she mumbled “Wanna talk about it?” asked Eve softly, Villanelle whimpered “Are you cold?” she asked again, trying to engage the girl

“I feel icky” she finally mumbled in a whisper, Eve nodded

“Sorry, but the doctor said you’re going to get worse before you get better” Villanelle whined, then tried to speak but got quiet

“What is it?” asked Eve softly

“I’m wet” she mumbled looking away, not knowing how to deal with Eve’s softness. She had only known hits and yelling in her youth.

“Let’s clean you up then, it’s all fine” said the woman softly

Villanelle laid back in the bed while Eve rummaged around for the supplies, she found them quickly and put them next to her, then untapped the nappy and cleaned her up expertly, adding a liberal amount of baby powder. The girl was just lying there sucking her thumb.

“You probably got sick from sucking your thumb all day” chided the woman, Villanelle glared at her, not moving her thumb away “We can get soothers” suggested Eve. Villanelle shook her head softly, she didn’t want a piece of plastic. She liked her thumb “Can you drink some more water for me?” asked Eve coming close with a plastic cup

“This is why I peed so much, you give me water all the time” she whined sitting up and taking the cup in her hands

“Doctor said it was important, is not like I’m waterboarding you” said Eve laughing, the girl snorted and took two small sips and gave the cup back, the older woman rolled her eyes but didn’t push any further.

She fixed the covers around the girl and herself then turned off the lamp at the side

“I like it here, is nice” mumbled Villanelle closing her eyes, softly breathing in Eve’s smell.

“Yeah, it’s quite fancy”

A chuckle then a sigh

“You deserve no less”

“Well, some people would like to disagree with you”

“Some people are idiots Eve, you serve the best in the world”

“Your opinion is a little biased”

“You think?” asked the girl almost asleep, Eve chuckled and began to pat her diapered butt. It was something Villanelle had never experienced before, a kind of comfort that came from some place filled with peace, calm and love. It didn’t have anything to do with pleasure, it wasn’t about who had made who shudder the harder or come the fastest it was just about comfort, peace and quiet. And Villanelle had never had that.

“I know” said Eve softly. Villanelle nuzzled the woman’s neck and took a deep breath, she couldn’t answer back, she was already asleep.

* * *

Next morning came and Villanelle noticed with dismay that red spots began to appear on the her neck and cheeks, they still weren’t too itchy but the sensation was definitely not pleasant.

She felt as if her skin had decided to burn and slowly melt away. It was a very warm and hateful sensation, so she didn’t wake up feeling exactly like a sunshine.

She was in fact feeling a lot like a frowny cloud.

“Come on, I’m sure breakfast is ready by now” said Eve applying some lotion that left an unsavory smell but made her skin feel less like sand paper and more like… sticky smelly skin.

“I hate it” she said biting her thumb angry

“Stop” chided Eve softly, taking the thumb away, the girl whined

“Eve stop!” she grumbled embarrassed, the woman chuckled and help her dress in a long sleeved cotton shirt and a pair of shorts

“Remember…”

“Don’t scratch, I know” grumbled the girl

“Drop the attitude” said Eve serious before entering the kitchen, Villanelle flinched

“I just don’t feel well”

“That’s no excuse to be rude”

“It isn’t?” she asked rolling her eyes, Eve sighed

“I see it’s a very pleasant morning” said Konstantin watching Eve’s and Villanelle’s expression the moment they walked into the kitchen.

Villanelle glared, her head was aching. She really wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone right now.

“Sit” said Konstantin in his best mood and attitude, breakfast was already been served by two women who the man yesterday had introduced to them as Maria and Claudia “Food’s delicious” said Konstantin from behind his coffee, Villanelle sat in silence in front of him and next to Irina who looked up from her book

“You look like that’s really going to itch” she said surprised, Konstantin laughed

The blonde stared annoyed. Her headache was worse.

“Come on, let’s just have breakfast” said Eve sitting in next to Konstantin and quickly grabbing a plate, filling it with scrambled eggs and reaching for toast

Villanelle really wasn’t feeling like eating either, she just grabbed a cup of tea and nursed it while looking at Irina who was reading what seemed to be a thick encyclopedia tome.

“You have to eat more than that” said Eve conversationally, not really making a fuss

“Not hungry” answered the girl in a brisk clear tone. She didn’t want to eat.

“You must eat” said Konstantin frowning

“Not hungry” repeated the girl glaring, her eyes were swollen and red from the crying and the fever. Her usually rosy skin was sticky and clammy. She wanted to go back to bed and never leave it.

She intended to do that when Konstantin opened his mouth to speak

“You can’t leave the table unless you eat it” he said

“What?” she asked with a snort

“You can’t leave this table until you eat breakfast” he repeated serious to her.

Ever seen a movie when everything turns red and people forget whatever happens next? It worked pretty much the same for Villanelle, except her new found tantrum came from feeling achy all over, a pounding headache and sudden itch in the tip of her hears.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!” she yelled standing up, and pushed the table away, spilling her tea, the coffee and Irina’s juice. Eve groaned around a mouthful of –deliciously cooked- scrambled eggs

“Oiii I was going to drink that!” whined Irina glaring at the girl who was looking at all the mess she had done, glaring at the cups and glasses daring them to create more of a mess.

“Go to your room” said Eve cleaning her mouth with a napkin, the girl opened her mouth to speak but Eve just raised her right hand and shook her head “To your room please” she said

Villanelle sucked her lower lip into her mouth and softly mulled over it. Eve wasn’t violent or evil like her mother so she wasn’t… she looked at the mess she did gain, she squirmed in her spot and noticed that everyone was looking at her

“Your room” repeated Eve serious, Villanelle gulped. She knew _that_ tone, she scrambled away from the table and stomped back to her room.

++++

_“You ruined breakfast yesterday Oksana” said Tatiana with a vacant look in her eyes, she was looking at the wall behind the child, her face had a huge bruise in the side. The other child was crying in the background_

_“I didn’t mean to”_

_“You keep saying that” the woman had a cigarette in her hand, she was smoking. She seem out of it, like she wasn’t really in front of her. Oksana pouted_

_“But I do mean it mommy”_

_“I don’t think you do. I think you need to learn to be sorry” said the woman coming closer, the girl felt a shiver run down her spine, she whimpered_

_+++++++++_

Villanelle was sitting in her bed. She was looking towards Irina’s bed who was a mess of clothes, bags and covers. At least her bed was made.

What was she supposed to do?

Was this like being grounded?

She stood up and walked towards the bookcase, she looked at the books, most in English, a few in Spanish.

She grabbed a random one and sat back in bed, she tried to read but she gave up after a few minutes. Where was everyone?

Why wasn’t Eve yelling at her?

Why wasn’t Konstantin chasing at her?

Had something happened?

She walked out of the room with the intention to see what was wrong when she heard Konstantin’s laughter, she frowned and slowed her pace.

She was barely breathing when she reached the edge of the kitchen, the Russian man was still chuckling and Irina was telling some story she couldn’t hear properly and Eve was there drinking her coffee.

Villanelle stood there confused. The cups and glasses had been replaced and they were having breakfast… as if she didn’t even exist.

She turned around slowly and went back to her room as quietly as possible.

There was a knot in her throat, she hadn’t eat anything yet she felt as if something was stuck down her throat. 

She frowned and sucked in her lower lip, then began pacing around her room.

The knot was still there, it wasn’t there this morning. She felt like… like crying.

But it wasn’t so simple, -of course it wasn’t- she didn’t just feel like crying, she felt like bawling her eyes off, kicking her feet on the floor and pulling her hair kind of crying. She hadn’t felt like this since she was 10 and already old for tantrums.

The blond didn’t want to go into panic or crying. She was tired of losing control of herself and her emotions, she wanted to be standoffish and cool, not crying and whimpering. No one likes cry-babies.

She needed Eve! She wanted to be comforted and held and told that everything was going to be alright.

She walked out of the room again and quickly moved towards the kitchen and walked inside without a care in the world, _the small family was still at their breakfast_. Thought Villanelle a little irked

“E-“

“I thought I told you to stay in your room” interrupted the woman, Konstantin was serious, looking at her with something akin to annoyance.

Irina was drinking juice, hoping not to lose this one.

“But-“

“Go to your room when I’m done with breakfast I’ll go talk to you” said the woman before she had a chance to say anything else, Irina snorted.

“But Eve THAT’S BORING!” she yelled with all the air in her lungs, Irina rolled her eyes, because _of course_.

Konstantin stood up angry and Eve took a deep breath

“Go to your room, when I’m done with breakfast I’ll go talk to you” 

Villanelle stared. Then blinked.

“What?” she asked, Eve rolled her eyes

“You’ve heard me the first two times, remember that if you don’t listen I’ll assume you can’t understand explanations”

Villanelle squirmed, Irina was smirking at her, almost challenging her to keep edging Eve.

Konstantin was looking at her with expectation. 

She didn’t know what to do. Honest to God she was at loss. She took a step back, then another, she turned and walked back to her room.

She sat down on the bed and looked at her hands for a while, then looked at her feet. She was nervously biting her thumb while making her right feet go up and down at fast speed.

It was the not knowing what was coming what was killing her.

What was Eve going to do?

Was she going to be violent and belligerent?

Would Konstantin come too?

She remembered a time when her mother said _we’ll talk when we get home_ and all she ever got was yelling, hair pulling and slaps all over her.

That’s how it worked right?

She didn’t have the right answers for this.

She began to get a little worked up, her stomach was rolling and it felt queasy.

She was sweating now and the skin in her arms was tingling from itch. She began to scratch a small spot, it burned but it also lowered the pressure in her chest, she was feeling _something else_ , anything else. She scratched harder, the skin of the small red spot was now angry and raised, she continued until there was a droplet of blood.

Blood was nice. Something she knew. There was something comforting about blood, it was something that was part of her line of work and life.

She began to scratch another spot then another, she was quite entertained to be honest.

“Oh…shit” said a voice from afar, Villanelle didn’t look up, she was busy scratching the skin off her arm. Suddenly there was a hand on top of her hand, Villanelle looked up gasping. Eve was in front of her.

* * *

“Oh…shit” said Irina walking into her room, immediately she turned and quickly reached the kitchen “You need to get to Villanelle” she said with a tone that left no room for discussion, Eve and Konstantin stood up in a second and walked quickly leaving behind whatever was left of breakfast.

Villanelle was there sitting in her bed, her left hand extended in front of her was dripping blood. It was running down her arm in small little paths over her red angry skin

“What did you do?” said Eve quickly putting her hand on top of the girls scratching hand. Villanelle gave a little jump surprised and pulled back, she looked up and noticed her for the first time; she also noticed Konstantin was by the door looking at her.

Her arm was now bleeding from different points. It wasn’t really something dangerous, if anything it was a little gross.

“We told you not to scratch” said the woman serious, grabbing a wet wipe and quickly starting to clean her arm, Villanelle pulled back but Eve didn’t let go until she was clean and her skin was burning

“Why did you do that?” asked Eve glaring at her, Villanelle stared back but couldn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. Eve seemed angry “I’m asking you something!”

Everything was too much. _All the time._ Ever experienced that kind of stress in life?

Again this monumental _wish_ of just crying her eyes out came back to her.

“I can’t” she spat out. Her face was red from the effort of holding everything in. Her hands in fists closed over her knees

“Hey, we’re going to relax alright?” asked Eve kneeling in front of her with her massive beautiful hair all over the place. She looked at her lost, looking for an anchor

“She’s overwhelmed” said Konstantin coming close, Eve nodded watching the girl with rapt attention

“Happens often?” she asked without taking her eyes of the girl.

Villanelle was red from her face to her neck, she was trembling, her eyes were glossy with unshed tears.

“No, just a couple of times, when she was trained, never after that”

Konstantin was now standing next to kneeling Eve who was softly rubbing her fists trying to relax her

“I’ll grab her a blanket and some hot tea” he said leaving the room, Eve sighed

“Honey, you need to let go” she said softly, Villanelle shook her head “Why not?” she asked, Villanelle didn’t answer. What could she said?

_“I’m sorry Eve, it seems like I’m having a middle age crisis and I’m not even middle aged. Nothing in my life makes sense, everything hurts and on top of that I’m a weird freak that gets off on been treated as a child in stressful times”_

That would go well.

“Feel sick” she mumbled looking down “Sorry”

“This is not being sick” said Eve looking towards her scratched arm, Villanelle flinched. Eve was right. That had been pure anxiety kicking in “Let’s try some breathing” said the woman in a very soft calming voice, Villanelle nodded quickly, _help. Eve was helping._

The woman began to breath exaggerating everything and Villanelle tried to mimic her, but her body was tense, there was ringing in her hears, pressure in her chest.

“I can’t” she whimpered squirming in bed. She wanted to breathe again!

“Is fine, is fine” said Eve standing up and sitting next to her “Come here, let’s cuddle for a while until you can breathe better”

“A-are you mad at me?” she asked, Eve raised her eyebrows in surprise

“Is all this an act to get out of troubles?” asked the woman with a dark look in her eyes, Villanelle quickly shook her head, tears spilling

“No, I promise, I’m not lying” bursted out Villanelle, tears spilling down “I’m scared, I’m so scared” she confessed, her fists finally opening and clinging to Eve’s hands

Konstantin came back, he had a cup of tea in his hand and a blanket in the other. He fondly remembered doing the same when Irina was little and scared of the dark. He sat to her other side and quickly fixed the small blanket around the girl’s shoulders. Eve helped him put the tea in the side table. Villanelle had her eyes closed. She was shivering.

“I think it’s time for your meds, you’re getting feverish again” said Eve softly

“I just- I just wanna be normal” she whimpered rocking back and forth

“Shh, relax” said Konstantin hugging her towards his chest, the girl let herself be manhandled. She was too tired for anything else. She began to cry

“Are you going to hit me?” she asked shaking, Konstantin made her grip tight, trying to fill the girl with reassurance

“Absolutely no”

“Is Eve going to hit me?” she asked softly, Eve turned around, surprised.

“I think Eve would hit _me_ first” he said, the older woman came close and knelt in front of the girl

“…are you going to hurt me?” asked the girl with terrified eyes

“I think your mother got a little… carried away with punishments didn’t she?”

Villanelle gulped and looked down

“I just don’t know what’s going to happen and it feels weird inside me, like worms on my stomach” she explained, Konstantin sighed

“Oh Villanelle, you’ve made yourself sick” explained the man softly pulling her into her lap. The girl looked away, she was mortified.

“This-this thing Eve does, you-you don’t have to…” she mumbled confused and still crying softly, Konstantin chuckled

“You think I’m going to see you cry and not give you a hug?” he asked.

That did it.

The man held the girl the whole time she clung to him.

Eve calculated the girl had started crying around ten in the morning, it was four o clock in the afternoon and the poor thing was still at it. She was much more quiet and subdued compared to the pitiful harsh crying that came the first hour, but… she was still at it.

Both Konstantin and Eve had been at her side every second, only leaving to get water or medicines from the kitchen.

“Shouldn’t you call a doctor or something?” asked Irina poking her head in looking at the pitiful crying thing that was perched in her father’s lap while Eve hovered around 

“She’s just letting everything out” said the woman sighing and rubbing circles in the girl’s back.

“She’s fine, everything is fine” said Konstantin softly, Villanelle whimpered and hide her face in Konstantin’s neck.

She didn’t want to deal with reality. It was too much of a chore right now.

“Come on honey, you need to eat something” said Eve coming close with a small bow, Villanelle whined harder and made her grip tight to avoid being moved. She didn’t want food.

“Did she take her medicines?” asked the red hair curious, Eve nodded.

“She’s just overwhelmed everything is fine” said the man chuckling patting the girls back

Villanelle didn’t want to talk, everything that wasn’t crying was too much of an effort so she stayed there, draped on Konstantin crying softly, almost tiredly.

“Come on Villanelle, use your words” said Eve in a sing song voice, her hand was in the back of her head. She was doing some circular motion that felt good against her scalp.

The blonde’s legs had been asleep for a while now, she was a little too tall to be sitting on someone’s lap comfortably for too long.

Her head was pounding and her left arm was hurting a lot.

“Mmh" she whined. She just wanted to sleep. She hated the idea of having food or having to stay awake for another second more.

“No, no, come on, you have to eat something” said Eve jostling her, the girl gagged. It was an instinct reaction.

Konstantin stood up with effort, the girl still hanging from him.

“Girls that do not eat get their food by a needle in their arm” explained Konstantin putting Villanelle in bed, the girl looked at him with apprehension; she bit at her thumb harshly

“It’ll be just some fruit” explained Eve holding the bowl, Villanelle looked at the small banana and strawberry pieces and extended her arm to get the bowl. Eve smiled and came close, sitting next to the rumpled girl.

“You’ve been moody today” said Eve softly, grabbing a fork and pinching some slices before offering it to Villanelle, the girl opened her mouth reluctantly and ate the fruit

“Good girl” was said as praise.

Villanelle felt herself blush against her own wishes. She was feeling extremely volatile and fragile, she didn’t want to play with this 'thing' Eve and her seemed to have. She didn’t know what Eve was getting out of it.

She wasn’t getting paid.

She wasn’t there because she knew her, like Konstantin knew her.

She wasn’t getting sex like Anna always did before any demonstration of affection.

Maybe the power play was the thing that Eve was after. Maybe she liked to feel important and above others.

The woman smiled at her and offered more little pieces of banana and Villanelle frowned.

If Eve was _only_ after power then _why was she so nice to her?_

“I guess this chicken pox it’s getting to your head uh?” she asked softly, Villanelle chewed on her food. She still hadn’t said a word “Come on honey, I want to hear your voice” said the woman softly with her wild curls and her sweet smell.

Villanelle ignored her and continued to chew in silence. She didn’t want to talk. She had nothing to say.

The former agent sighed but continued to feed the girl until every single piece was gone. Konstantin was sitting by the desk, looking at her worriedly.

When the food was gone Eve put the bowl away and the girl quickly climbed her bed and curled into a right ball under her covers

“You’re going to take a nap?” asked Eve softly. Villanelle didn’t answer, she didn’t know what to say. She was scared.

* * *

They couldn’t make her leave the bed for the rest of the day.

Eve went and laid with her for a while, watching her sleep and checking on her fever. Irina also went in and out of the bedroom with any excuse, just to check upon the crying/sleeping girl.

If Villanelle wasn’t sleeping then she was softly crying, refusing to eat anymore despite all of Konstantin threats.

All three healthy members of the ‘fake family’ took turns watching over her.

++++++++++++++++++

_“Sister, why my mama never came back?” asked the small blonde child that had come one summer day. She had been there when ‘Tatiana’ –or so she called herself- had come._

_The woman dragging the kid seemed lost, her eyes were unfocused and she seemed almost out of it. There was a filthy baby strapped to an old ratty baby carrier and the little girl was wearing clothes that fit ill on her, she also had lice in her hair that had taken weeks to clean away._

_The girl had cried **every single day**_ _that month. She wasn’t socializing, eating or taking care of herself. The nuns feared for her for a while. But one day the child stood up and asked for breakfast._

_“She’s probably busy Oksana” lied the woman. She wasn’t too old and maybe she felt a little for that poor mysterious woman, even when Mother superior called her a whore and Oksana a seed of sin._

_They were in the kitchen, cleaning the chimney and the dishes. Oksana was there because she was the only one that the child tolerated and was nice to and she was the only one that tolerated the child back._

_“To busy with brother, he cries a lot” said the girl nodding, looking down to the murky water in which she was washing the dinner bowls_

_“Where did you live?” asked the woman curious “How did you live?” she asked quickly, this time urgently. Oksana didn’t seem too old. She was probably a small nine year old._

_The girl didn’t answer. The girl never answered any questions about her home life._

_“Mama is not coming back is she?” asked the child._

_Oksana had asked that question many times. At first they tried to keep her hope high after all she was a beautiful girl and she seemed like a doll. It was hard to imagine the kind of trouble her angelical face could cause._

_When the woman took more than three months and Oksana had already bitten half of the children away of her personal space Father Yahontov said that the girl was probably a hidden bastard given away to avoid any explanations or shame._

_Back then, when Oksana asked that question again they just smiled sadly and made up some story about kids going home after years when their parents fixed whatever problem they had back at home._

_The first time Oksana met another family to see if she could stay with them the girl seemed to clash with reality._

_“But Sister I already have a mum” she said to one of the older women, the people who had come to visit Oksana felt that declaration heavy in their minds and decided to leave early._

_Oksana had asked that same question that night, this time she sat down in the small cot the girl had in the dorms._

_“Wouldn’t you like… maybe to meet a new mum?” she asked, the girl quickly shook her head_

_“Why not?”_

_“Coz-I-I already have a mum”_

_“But she wasn’t a nice mum” she said frowning. Oksana frowned too._

_“You don’t know anything about my mum” she said cold, with detached eyes._

_This time the question held almost no curiosity. It wasn’t a question per se… it was more like a sad humble affirmation. It had been 10 months since Oksana had arrived._

_“I don’t think she will” said the woman the softest way she possibly could._

_The girl released a sigh and continued washing the bowls. She didn't say anything else for their remining time together._

_++++++++++_

“You are sleeping too much” said Konstantin close to her face, the girl opened her eyes scared then glared at him from her spot in the bed.

She looked around and noticed that they were alone.

They hadn’t been alone since London.

“Eve?” she asked immediately, sitting up even when all the blood rushed to her head and her vision went dark

“She left” said the man sitting down.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we can't say it was a bored weekend.   
> Anyone has more news to share?

“I don’t get it” said Irina stepping out of the cab and helping with all they had bought

“I didn’t get much either… he just said we should come back soon” explained the asian woman paying the driver; both women had gone to buy some things they needed, specially supplies for Villanelle, medicine, diapers, bottles, sippy cups, food, snacks and anything that could be of use .

The variety of products wasn’t really good and most of the stuffs were brands and things they had never seen before, still they came back with their hands full.

Something could be of use.

“I really hope we don’t end up dying from some allergic reaction” had commented Irina reading the tag of a few mysterious cans.

Eve snorted, that sounded like just their luck.

Eve got Konstantin’s call right before paying, but since the house was in a secluded part of the island the journey from the nearest shop and back was around 30 minutes. So they had been gone around two and a half hours.

Both females carried the bags through the decorated path from the gate to the front door.

“Well, I hope nothing wrong happened, we've been having a rough time as it is” 

“Eve why the hell are you even here?” asked the teenager amused. Eve froze for a second.

“I-I care for Villanelle” she said, Irina frowned then opened the door.

She was going to apologize for making such a rude question when a blond blur passed her and tackled Eve into a hug, making the woman drop the bags to the floor, where they rolled around them making a right mess

“What the hell?” asked Eve surprised; almost angry, except she registered that she was now hugging the girl that was shaking from head to toe “Villanelle, what’s wrong?”

The girl was just clinging to her, her cheeks we’re pink from the fever and she seemed confused

“Hey what’s going on?” asked Eve looking towards Konstantin that was now too at the door

“She won’t take her medicines until you’re here, I tried” he said rolling his eyes, Eve glared at the girl

“I just went to the store! What is it about you not taking the medicines?”

The girl didn’t answer she was simply clinging to Eve, breathing in her smell as much as possible.

“You need to take your meds, you’re starting to get too warm” explained the woman leading her back into the house and into her room, Villanelle followed in a daze, still not speaking, still not fully _there._

* * *

Back in the girls bedroom Eve helped her sit in bed and handed her the meds, Villanelle passed them without water and latched to her midriff again

“Villanelle, what’s wrong?” asked the woman softly, holding the girl’s head in her hands.

The girl didn’t answer she just clung to her shirt and hid her face in her belly breathing a little accelerated

“She’s been frantic since she woke up, all she said was your name” explained Konstantin walking into the room with a Sippy cup in his hand “She’s been going up and down the house trying to find you, I haven’t been able to stop her” he explained annoyed

“It never occurred to me she would behave like that, she-she’s never been like this before”

“Is she ok?” asked Irina walking into the room, Villanelle was sitting in the bed, Eve was standing in front of her, hugging her, the girl was breathing fast.

“I don’t know, she is not talking!” said the man acting angry when in reality he was worried out of his mind.

Eve saw through this act immediately and looked towards him with a blazing look

“Stop, you’re not helping by getting all angry” she said, the girl in her arms was finally breathing normally, Konstantin noticed this and relaxed for a second

“Here, it’s milk” said the man coming close. Villanelle felt her stomach revolt at the thought of having something in her belly.

“Come on sweet girl, drink some milk for me” Eve used a tone of voice that was more appropriate for a 2 year old than a 25 year old.

Villanelle figured that now that she had Eve in her line of sight she could chase her if she ever tried to leave her too. She pulled back a little and looked at the offered item; the cup was made of bright pink plastic and the sprout was the kind you suckled in the middle. She flinched and turned away

“No” she grumbled angry. She wasn’t a baby.

“Hey, come on, you need to drink something”

“Water?” asked Konstantin offering another similar cup. Villanelle whimpered.

Why couldn’t she be normal?

Why did she feel so comforted by a stupid plastic cup?

If she dropped it there wouldn’t be a mess.

Everything in her life was always a mess because she couldn’t take better decisions, she didn’t want to make anymore decisions, she just wanted her milk and go to bed.

“Villanelle?” asked Eve again, she was getting worried. The girl had been in this childlike state the whole day long. That couldn’t be good for her, could it?

“I-I’m...” said the girl in a small voice, she almost didn’t hear her

“Are you well?” asked Eve, Konstantin sat next to them ready to hear whatever Villanelle was about to say

Irina sighed and stood up

“Are you all going to live in my room all fucking day?” she asked dramatically “You guys could be all cuddled in bed like a fucking family postcard and I can be in another entirely different room pretending like I don’t exist at all!” she yelled.

Villanelle was now crying at her yelling and Eve was staring at her with surprise.

Konstantin stood up as fast as he could and grabbed her, hugging her into his chest. The girl began to trash trying to get away but the old man held on steady, conscious for the first time in many months that Irina had stopped growing, that she was very thin and she almost had no strength to fight him.

“Take deep breaths” said the man softly. Irina realized she wasn’t breathing.

She was stiff and angry, her hands made into fists in her father’s jacket

“No!” she screeched angry, Konstantin tucked her head under his chin and patted her back.

She began to cry “Lemme go!” she whined pushing away, the man held on “Stop!” she begged one last time

“Take deep breaths sausage” said Konstantin softly, Irina began to cry

“I want my mum” she mumbled shaking, the man sighed

“I know you do”

“You don’t know anything” said the girl still crying gasping for air

“Come on, let’s get you ready for bed” said the man softly, taking her to the bathroom. Eve was talking to Villanelle in a soft voice, the blonde was still crying

“Sometimes I forget you’re just a kid” said the man wiping Irina’s cheeks with a wet towel, the girl glared at him

“I’m not, I’m 16 now”

“That’s still young” said Konstantin softly, as if talking to a small child.

“Stop, I’m not her” said Irina immediately, the man frowned

“What?”

“I’m not Villanelle, you won’t treat me like a circus freak and have me accept it” 

“No one is a freak here” said the man appalled at the name calling. Irina blushed

“I-I’m not her, I don’t want what she has”

“Alright” said the man raising his hands in peaceful manner “I’ll keep my distance” he said leaving the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

* * *

“Is Irina alright?” asked Eve watching the man leave the bathroom without the teenager and come close to them again.

Villanelle was no longer crying, she was drinking her milk drowsily, the medicine had finally kicked in.

“Yeah, she’s fine” he seemed sad “Is Villanelle...?”

“She’s fine, she just had a cup of water and milk didn’t you?” asked Eve smiling towards the girl, Villanelle tried to smile drowsily at her.

“Ah, the meds kicked in” he said amused watching the girl curl into her teddy bear still drinking her milk.

“I hate seeing her all dozy” commented Eve lamenting the girl’s health situation “She’s been harboring too much and not letting herself feel and this whole fever thing and chicken pox has her so confused, add to that we’re on a different country with different people”

The list was long. Villanelle had a right to be crumbling down.

The girl in question had finally fallen asleep.

She was still wearing the same outfit she put on the girl that morning, except she was all rumpled and disheveled.

“Irina seems to be going through too much as well but she-she won’t let me get close” he said dejectedly, fixing one of Villanelle’s baby hairs to the back of her ear.

“She’s _your_ kid Konstantin, this isn’t a popularity contest. She won’t let you come close but you don’t _ask_ her if you can come close”

“Oh, you don’t know Irina”

“You’re telling me Irina is going to be harder than Villanelle?” asked Eve almost laughing, the man sighed

“Well no but…”

“You just don’t want to deal with the consequences of many years of neglect”

Konstantin didn’t answer he was tired.

“Do you have any idea what happened when you left?”

“What?”

“You guys left and Villanelle was asleep, but she was only sleep around an hour, I came to check on her and told her she was sleeping too much, suddenly she yells out your name and starts to seek you in every single room of this goddamned house, I chase her because she starts to panic, she cries all over the house, no longer yelling at least but clearly in distress. I had to chase her for 30 minutes until you arrived!”

“Why do you think she reacted that way?” asked Eve worried

“She was probably worried about you leaving her like her mother did”

“Her-what?” Eve stared at Konstantin as if she was telling him he had a bomb in his room.

“What did her file said?” asked the man frowning confused, MI6 was one of the best intelligent office in the world…

“That her family was dead, her father a drunk” repeated Eve back from the file she had read so many times she could recite by memory.

“Right, I forget sometimes that’s the official story”

“What’s the real story?” asked Eve standing up, Konstantin shook his head. That was a story for another day. He conveyed his feelings through a tired look and Eve just nodded, agreeing full heartedly that it had been a very long and tiring day.

“Are you planning to have dinner?” asked the man standing up too and walking away, Eve shook her head

“It’s been a long day, I’ll just tuck this one in and go to bed”

“Sounds like a good plan” said the man leaving.

Eve checked Villanelle’s diaper one last time then fixed the covers around her, making sure she was sound asleep.

Irina must have believed she’d gone with Konstantin because after a few minutes of fussing over the sleeping sick child the teenager came out of the bathroom. She was only wearing her shirt and underpants

“Oh, I thought you’d left” said the kid feeling exposed and still a little silly for her outbreak.

She thought she was doing fine. At least she was doing better than Villanelle… she thought so anyway.

“I’m going” said the woman smiling at her, then she came close

“Sleep tight” she said, Irina stepped back and blushed. Eve made her a little bit nervous.

“Yes, you too”

* * *

The first thing Irina noticed waking up was that she wasn’t alone.

She wasn’t one to react harshly, her father had always appraised her steel nerves, so she turned to her side slowly and noticed that Villanelle was stuck to her side, sucking her thumb, with her ugly teddy smashed under her right cheek

“What are you doing?” she whined sitting up “Wake up! I don’t need company!” she said annoyed, Villanelle opened one eye and glared at her

“Stop” grumbled the girl around the thumb angry

“Why are you in my bed?” asked Irina rubbing sleep out of her eyes

“Mine is wet” said the blond blushing a little

“So? Go get Eve!” said Irina annoyed, she looked to the clock in the watch, it was barely 7 in the morning

“No I can’t, she will be angry at me”

“No one in this house is _EVER_ angry at you” said Irina rolling her eyes, she noticed Villanelle’s eyes were red and puffy. She probably had been crying; she felt something akin to pity “She’s not going to be angry at you” she said this time with honesty, Villanelle looked towards the door

“I’m fine here, it’s comfy” said the blonde in a petulant manner, shimming her shoulders and covering her chin with the covers. Irina growled

“You’re so annoying!”

“I’m just going to sleep relax, stop being such a bitch!” yelled Villanelle back, Irina pushed her off with a kick and the blond fell to the floor with a hard blow

“Oh you little shit!” yelled Villanelle, Irina was laughing when Villanelle jumped at her and kicked the breath out of her

“Help!” yelled Irina trying to push the girl off her “You’re so damn fat!” she yelled, Villanelle growled

“You are fat!” cried the girl offended, Irina was getting annoyed.

Villanelle was trying to choke her but she had no strength left and her vision was all blurry, Irina was putting up quite a fight

“Stop moving!” whined the blonde annoyed, huffing in exhaustion, trying to grab at the girl

“Oh sure, so you can kill me?” yelled Irina angry pushing the covers back with her legs and trying to kick Villanelle again

“What the hell are you doing?!” called a voice from the doorway, both girl froze for a second, then Villanelle tried to surprise the teen and the girl grabbed at her wrists again

“Stop!” yelled Irina

“You stop!” yelled Villanelle back, weak and sweaty

Suddenly Konstantin’s arm yanked Villanelle off Irina.

“She started it!” yelled Villanelle immediately, she wasn’t even in the floor and she was already yelling “She started it, I swear” she said with tears in her eyes

Irina rolled her eyes “I didn’t! You did!”

“She’s lying” cried Villanelle turning red from anger, Eve was at the doorway looking just as surprised and completely confused as Konstantin who was right behind Villanelle

“You came to my bed!” cried Irina angry, also turning red

“WHAT?!” yelled Konstantin suddenly red, Eve’s eyebrows shot up

“To _sleep!_ I went into her bed because mine was all wet!” explained Villanelle quickly, then broke down in tears “then she kicked me out!”

“Why was your bed wet?” asked Eve confused, Villanelle bit her lip

“I-I guess I leaked?” she mumbled embarrassed looking down

“You still wet?” asked the woman, the girl shook her head and scrunched up her nose in annoyance

“Just damp” she mumbled

“Wait you got into my bed all wet?” cried Irina standing up immediately, in her haste to leave the bed all covers fell to the ground including a pair of stuffed bears. One cheap and ugly, the other one old and ratty. “Fuck” mumbled Irina getting all red, putting the bears quickly under a pillow.

“I just wanted to sleep” cried Villanelle disregarding the stuffed animal situation, to her it had been something completely uneventful.

Irina was now standing in the middle of the room in just her underpants and night shirt

“Well I just wanted to sleep too weirdo!” she yelled angry, Villanelle tried to charge at her _again_ but Konstantin caught her by the waist _again_.

“She’s been mean!” cried Villanelle angry, Irina stuck her tongue out

“STOP IT!” yelled Eve angry “BOTH OF YOU!” she said, Irina realized what she was doing and looked downright embarrassed

“I mean-she-she was in my space” she mumbled out

“I just wanted to sleep” mumbled Villanelle feeling weak and tired all the sudden

“Look at you” said Eve watching the girl that was still held by Konstantin at the waist. Her hair was a mess, her cheeks and face with blotches of red from the fever, red spots all over her face, cheeks, neck and arms.

Villanelle winced when Eve came close to touch her cheek. She wasn’t expecting a pat. That was for sure.

“Poor thing” said the woman softly, sad to see the girl confused at a nice gesture

“But must you fight like a couple of animals?” yelled Konstantin angry “I was asleep! All your yelling and fighting woke me up! This is retirement! Not boot camp!” he said, Irina squirmed on her spot

“She threw herself at me!” she accused, Villanelle was hanging from Konstantin arms, weak and tired

“She _kicked me_ off the bed!”

“Like…with a kick?” asked Eve surprised, Konstantin also looked at Irina surprised

“Yeah!” Villanelle lifted her sweaty shirt to show a newly formed bruise, Irina winced

“She didn’t listen! It’s my bed!” she whined. Villanelle seemed designed to get the worse out of her! Specially this bratty, annoyed side of her.

“But you can’t be violent to each other” said Eve annoyed, Konstantin nodded.

“Well then keep the baby on a crib!” yelled Irina, Villanelle tried to get to her again

“Stop!” cried the blonde “S’not fair” she said trying to break free

“You’re grounded, both of you!” said the man with an air of finality, veins popping, eyes angry; both girls froze at his tone. He sounded like bad news.

“You can’t do that!” yelled Irina angry, Villanelle gaped at him

“She hit me!”

“You tried to kill me!”

“I. was. Trying. To. Sleep!” yelled Villanelle before breaking down into tears

“Oh god, that’s enough “said Eve taking a deep breath and putting her hands in her waist “Stop this, to the bathroom with you!” she ordered to the blonde, Konstantin released her slowly and the girl walked slowly towards the bathroom

“Take off those clothes and get the tub ready I’ll be there in a minute” she instructed. Villanelle nodded quietly leaving the room.

“I am not going to let you punish me like I’m some snotty child!” yelled Irina angry, Konstantin passed a hand through his face. This was the _second day_ , just the second. What would be of him if he couldn’t put a stop to Irina?

What would it be of her on the 100th day? He would probably be chasing her around the island in every possible bar with a certain blonde.

He imagined himself at three in the morning with Eve looking around some ugly bar trying to find both girls.

His blood ran cold. He was not going to live like that.

“Go to the corner and stand there” he said quietly, Irina turned a deep red color, Eve who was sorting Villanelle’s clothing to take into the bathroom froze and looked towards the pair, trying to dissipate doubts that she had heard correctly.

“I am not-I didn’t-“ Irina spluttered her answer embarrassed and mortified “I am not going to stand in any corner!” she finally spat, her socked feet stomping on the floor.

She cursed in her head. She wasn’t really acting like and adult. She took a deep breath, she had to…

“If you don’t stand in the corner to the count of three I will spank you the minutes you were supposed to be there” said the man in a tone that held no fear or doubt. Irina went pale.

“Dad what? what the hell?” she said quickly, she sat on her bed “Let’s talk about this, alright?”

_How did she get to this point?_

“We’ve talked enough, I want you in that corner. ONE”

“Dad please” Irina stood up. He hadn’t done this since she was eight.

“Two” the man got close

“Dad, you can’t be serious” Irina felt humiliated as her feet carried her into the corner. She had grown up with this man, she knew he meant the whole spanking thing.

“Good girl” he said softly. Irina took a deep breath into the corner of the wall. She felt completely out of sorts and ashamed. Her stomach felt heavy. 

“Dad please, I-I’m sorry ok? This is weird, I feel weird, I don’t like this” she said quickly, panicked

“I’m sorry sausage, 16 minutes standing there please”

“Dad no!” cried Irina, tears of shame running down her cheeks “This is really embarrassing!” she whined squirming

“Well then you should’ve thought of that when you acted the way you did this morning”

Konstantin voice was calm and his body language spoke of someone who was relaxing in that bed just having a cup of tea.

“I’m sorry! I already said that! You want me to find the baby and apologize too? I’ll do it!” said the girl desperate. She didn’t want to be in that corner by the time Eve and Villanelle left the bathroom. That would be beyond humiliating. “How come she gets a bath and I get time out? You said we were both grounded!” cried the girl with tears running “I want my mum!” she cried suddenly feeling overwhelmingly sad and alone

“I know you do” said Konstantin softly, Irina’s throat bubbled and she was sobbing

“No you don’t, you like Villanelle better than me” cried the girl into the wall, she sounded heartbroken.

Konstantin sighed

“That’s not true, I love you both for SO different reasons that I just cannot compare it!” he explained, Irina squirmed, she was still sobbing, there was too much pressure in her chest, her forehead was pressed against the wall, cooling her overheated face

“I want you to call mum” she cried jumping a little in her corner

“You know she won’t pick up” said the man sad. He hated seeing Irina hurt.

“Please call mommy” whined the girl rubbing her eyes “I need to tell her I’m sorry about what I did, I want my mum back” she cried, Konstantin came close and the girl turned immediately, throwing herself into his chest

“I’m sorry, I promise I am” cried the girl shaking in her father’s arms again.

“I know you are” he said rubbing her back

“Call her” insisted the girl frazzled, Konstantin shook his head in defeat and finally got his phone out and began to dial the number he knew by heart. The dial tone rang over and over until it went to voicemail. Irina broke down sobbing again. The man sighed

“Sausage…”

“She’s never going to forgive me is she?” asked the poor teenager with shaky voice, the man didn’t answer. He couldn’t know what his ex-wife was thinking for sure.

“I cannot say”

“I’ll apologize to Villanelle” mumbled the girl embarrassed.

Konstantin sighed _again_. He honestly felt 10 years older since starting to live here.

“You still have 10 minutes to go in that corner” he said. Irina immediately changed

“No! I’m not going to stand there, I’m not a child!” she yelled still crying

“Irina go back to the corner or you’ll get a proper spanking instead” yelled the man turning red, his patience finally reaching his limit.

Except Irina’s limit was also reached and instead of listening to her father she decided to storm out of the room.

Konstantin hadn’t been a secret double agent for more than 10 years and lived without reflexes or at least several years of personal defense curses.

He quickly caught the girl that was smaller and thinner than Villanelle and manhandled her until he had her draped on his lap, face down and arms pinned to her back

“Dad no!” screeched the girl, blood rushing to her head.

“I warned you”

“Dad please!” cried Irina one last time before Konstantin hand made his promise true and began to spank her hard. He hadn’t done this since she was 8.

When you’re 16 years old is quite hard to imagine something that can humiliate you to tears but being spanked like a misbehaving child was a sure way.

She began to cry in the second slap from the shame but the pain sunk in around the fifth slap, Konstantin was really putting up effort.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she cried in the sixth one squirming hard trying in vain to cover her backside, It was really burning up.

“I will not be putting up with you acting like a brat!” he said, the girl cried harder

“But she-she-“

He spanked her before she could finish and she began to cry.

“I’m sorry dad, I truly am” she whined.

He didn’t even stop, in fact he rushed the last four spanks making sure to alternate places.

When he in fact finished giving his punishment Irina was a sobbing mess on his knees.

He helped her sit up slowly, and cleaned her face with his handkerchief when both were upright.

“I’m sorry” mumbled the girl looking down, eyes puffy and cheeks wet again.

“I know you are sausage, everything is fine now” he said hugging her to his chest.

The girl had been touch starved before and right after the spanking she felt quite vulnerable so instead of pulling away nuzzled her way into his neck, like she’d seen Villanelle do days before.

Konstantin was also surprised. He expected more yelling, kicking, maybe even some curses tossed at him. He didn’t expect the girl to cling to him or cry about her mom. Eve was right, Irina needed her more than he thought.

* * *

Villanelle was getting in the tub when the yelling started. She had looked up surprised to Eve who was sitting on the toilet lid resting her chin on her hand.

The woman instead of offering some sort of reassurance looked equally surprised than her.

“He’s going to hit me?!” cried Villanelle hugging her knees to her chest, looking downright panicked

“Hey, I-I’m sure Irina pushed his buttons, if you behave I don’t see why he would do that” said Eve quickly. She really wasn’t sure about whatever Konstantin planned to do, but she had heard what Irina was telling him and he seemed to be hitting his last resources at dealing with the troublesome teenager. It also seemed clear that Villanelle had a very keen fear to be punished.

The yelling didn’t last more than 8 minutes but Villanelle was a nervous mess, not even helping when Eve was washing her arms.

The rest of the bath passed on in a blur because she was too scared to connect. Eve was doing everything for her. She was highly strung.

“Hey, you alright?” asked the woman helping her dry and putting some sort of pull-ups that slid on her legs like regular underwear.

Villanelle wanted to tell her that she could use regular underwear that she knew how to use the bathroom and didn’t need help. But _even_ _that_ seemed hard to do.

She stayed quiet and her thumb plunged into her mouth. Eve looked at her with surprise etching her face.

“Look at yourself, will you calm down? You’re going to get yourself sick, we’ll deal with the consequences of your actions together, I won’t leave your side” said the woman truly concerned for the blonde. She had done the same thing yesterday. It seemed like the girl preferred to disconnect than to deal with her feelings

“Villanelle, you’re safe, Konstantin is not going to harm you in any way” reassured Eve again surprised at the depth of the fear the blonde was showing.

The girl didn’t react to her words, she just seemed to grow twitchier with every new item of clothing that Eve managed to put on her. At last she was dressed in a pair of short leggings that made no attempt to cover her diaper state and a big comfy red knitted jumper that did cover her butt and made her look cute as a button.

“Oh god, you’re going to vomit if you keep this up” said Eve looking at the girl who was in a whole other world.

She thought about getting Konstantin and putting an end to her suffering, so she left the bathroom.

Villanelle didn’t know that Eve was such an agent of comfort but the moment the woman left the room her stomach felt like a rat was trying to crawl out of it and her fingers twisted in her own hand. She didn’t get more time to get worked up because suddenly the door opened and Konstantin was in front of her, kneeling down

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?” he asked softly, Eve was standing behind him, Irina was at the doorframe, she was still in her rumpled shirt and underpants, her eyes were red and her face was all puffy, she had been crying, and hard by the look of it.

“You’re going to hit me” said Villanelle gasping for air, trying to explain herself “You’re going to hit me” she said again, this time tears spilled for real and her lower lip began to shake “And I know I was bad and I deserve it but I’m really scared” she blurted, Konstantin sat back on his heels

“I’m not going to hit you” he said quickly, putting his hands on her knees, Villanelle gasped

“You’re not?”

“I’m no, you’re just going to stand in a corner, think about what you did and apologize to Irina” he explained.

Villanelle looked towards Eve who was smiling down to her, then she looked at Irina

“Then why did you hit Irina?” she asked confused, the teenager glared. 

“I spanked her. I did not do it with the intention to hurt her. I did it because she wasn’t listening and I warned her enough times, she should know better” he said.

The girl at the door blushed and rolled her eyes.

“Can you take her and make sure she takes her medicines?” asked Eve “I’ll help Irina get ready for breakfast”

Konstantin nodded grateful. He knew Eve owed nothing to him, not even courtesy but here she was helping his daughters get better.

He grabbed Villanelle’s hand and took the girl back to the room, Irina was left standing in the door looking confused as ever

“Brush her hair will you?!” called the woman

“Sure!” called Konstantin back, then she turned her eyes to Irina who was looking at her with a wary look.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've noticed everything in this story is indoors. I've been on quarantine since march.   
> Outdoors died for me.

Konstantin grabbed Villanelle’s hand and quickly took her to the bedroom where he made her sit in bed 

“Are you alright?” he asked softly, she nodded a little embarrassed for overreacting but she didn’t know what to expect.

She didn’t know how any of this worked.

“Where am I going to stand?” she asked softly, Konstantin snorted

“First your meds because you’re all blushed and those can’t be comfortable” he said glancing at all the spots with scabs she had hurt yesterday; Villanelle shrugged in response, accepting whatever Konstantin was saying. Her head was hurting.

“My head hurts” she mumbled, tip of her thumb in her under lip ready to get into her mouth

“I know. It’s the medicine we’re behind in schedule” he said checking the small boxes and reading the instructions the doctor had provided.

He sorted the pills and took them to the girl with a plastic glass with its lid on.

“Are we out of normal glasses?” she asked a little irked grabbing the childish object, Konstantin chuckled and handed her the pills one by one checking at last her mouth for any single one missing

“Now the hair because it’s going to get dry and turn into a mess of tangles” the man passed a hand through her damp hair making it stick up.

He was smiling and Villanelle couldn’t help but smile back but the pain on her head was still going steady and the moment she saw Konstantin raise the brush she flinched

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“Stay still!” yelled the woman angry beyond reason. The little blond girl was shrieking now trying to pull away_

_“No you’re pulling!” she yelled trying to bite her mother’s hand away._

_The woman lost the little patience she carried and lifted the child using the same brush to hit her backside as many times possible with the poor girl crying and squirming in her lap_

_“No, stop, stop!” yelled the poor child trying to get away._

_She hadn’t even done anything her mother was just cross at her because she couldn’t sit still to brush her hair._

_“STAY STILL!” yelled the woman hitting her really hard, the girl was sobbing now, her backside and upper tights felt on fire_

_“Mama stop!” cried the child_

_“Fuck Tatiana leave that child alone before you kill her!” yelled a voice from the other room, her mother released her immediately and she fell to the floor._

_She felt wetness in her butt and felt fear sink into her soul thinking she had wet herself again. Now her mother was going to kill her for sure._

_In the mist of crying and crawling away from her mother to the back of her closet little Villanelle grabbed at her backside and her fingers came back red and when she finally was crying as a little ball behind her mother’s shoe boxes she felt exactly how many welts her mother had opened in her upper thighs._

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

Konstantin froze brush in the hair.

Villanelle had gasped and flinched, turning her head sideways and rising her hands in a frightened mode. She looked ready to receive a blow.

“Sorry” she said quickly, shaking her head and sitting up straight “It’s a gut reaction” she mumbled embarrassed.

Konstantin didn’t say anything. He just came close and brushed the damp locks as careful and delicately possible.

* * *

“You’re not my mother” said Irina with indignation and anger in her words _._

_Good, straight to the point. ._

“I know I’m not your mother” coincided Eve serious.

“Then don’t you dare to act like one”, the girl would look right damn scary if she wasn’t just wearing a big ratty shirt a pair of cotton boy shorts and green fluorescent socks.

She looked cute, a little lost and even vulnerable.

Eve sighed, she started to see the patron. She really had a thing about protecting vulnerable and lost girls didn’t she?

“I just want to help you look like you need help”

“I need nothing and if I did I don’t need it from you”

“Don’t be so naïve, I understand what you’re going through I just want to help”

“You understand _nothing_ and I don’t need anything from you!” said the girl again, she felt tears prick at her eyes. Why did she care what Eve thought of her?

Did she really looked like a pity case?

“Hey, come on, let me help you get a bath and we can talk this through in breakfast”

“I don’t want your help” said Irina with a choked voice, Eve winced at the tone, the poor girl sounded so alone it was hard not to feel empathy towards her.

Besides, Eve was helping Villanelle, that child _didn’t even know_ how many people had died at her hands.

She wasn’t one to judge, especially someone so young who seemed so lost.

“Fine, I’ll go” said Eve raising her hands in a peaceful manner, Irina stomped her foot

“Why is it that when Villanelle says **no** everyone tries to accommodate to her needs and demands to _somehow_ get close to her but when I say **no** you just find it alright to leave the fuck off just like everyone in my life!” Irina broke down and slid down to the floor.

Eve was on her immediately hugging her to her chest

“Oh Irina that’s something very”… _sad_ she wanted to say sad. But she didn’t say it.

“Do you think…” Irina began immediately, a question she was dying to ask but shook her head and hid under Eve’s chin.

Just like Villanelle did all the time.

Eve smirked; it seemed like Irina paid more attention than she previously thought.

“What is it?” prompted the woman. She really wanted to understand this kid. She liked her.

“Do you think maybe one day my mum will forgive me?” she asked rushed, almost scared to say the words.

Eve took a deep breath

“Of course” she said immediately, Irina sat up curious wishing to believe the woman

“Really?” she asked scared to believe, Eve nodded

“That’s what I think though... but she’s your mother she loves you and will realize this. She won’t do it soon thought. She has to realize that you’re just a kid, what you did was wrong but you grew up watching and playing this spy game since you we’re a toddler. Your life took you on a weird path but I don’t think your mom hates you, she just has to let things go”

The girl stayed quiet. Eve held her close

“Thanks Eve” mumbled Irina after a while looking down, hands drying her cheeks.

“Come on, let me help you get a bath so you can have breakfast” instructed Eve standing up, Irina shook her head

“I can do it alone” she mumbled, Eve smiled

“Is this one of those things that Villanelle sometimes says no to and I do it because I know it’s the right thing or is one of those things you say because you mean them and need to be heard?”

The girl groaned, rolled her eyes and a light blush dusted her cheeks. Eve laughed and grabbed her hands helping her up.

* * *

Irina sat on the counter while Eve got the tub ready

“Villanelle is already at the corner paying for punishment” commented the woman as she walked back into the bathroom with clothes for her

“She’s not- she’s really standing there?” asked the girl incredulous, Eve laughed

“I think after hearing all your yelling she had time to make the right decision”

The girl rolled her eyes yet again.

“I didn’t think he was going to do it” admits Irina looking lost in space “He-he usually leaves me alone when I get in one of ‘my moods’ he calls them”

“I think Konstantin thought you wanted space because you were pushing him away”

“I do want space” grunted the girl angry

“No you don’t. You are demanding attention!” said Eve turning the faucet off and checking the water temperature one last time “life has made you grow up to fast Irina… you’re just 16, you’re literally a kid and Konstantin... most of the time treats you like an adult”

She came close to the girl who was looking down glaring at the floor

“I did want space…”

“You changed your mind then?” asked Eve smiling, she came close and grabbed the hem of Irina’s shirt; the girl sat up and raised her hands helping the woman to take it off.

“I think I saw all you were offering to Villanelle and at first I didn’t get it because you’re not even sleeping in the same room so I don’t think this is about sex and… I just miss my mum so much and Dad just looks at me as if he is afraid _of me_ ”

“its fine to change our minds and it’s alright to ask for help” said Eve nodding in sympathy at the girls explanation

“But you don’t even know me, I’m just the kid of the guy who brought you along”

“You seem like a nice enough kid, I can definitely get to know you” said Eve smiling helping Irina get down the counter and remove her underpants and socks.

The teen bit her lip and blushed, quickly moving to the bubbly water and sinking in.

“Its kind of weird” said the girl hugging her knees to her chest “I don’t think I’ve trust anyone in a lot of time…not even dad” she confessed with a very soft voice, Eve sat on the border

“Yeah, I can see that you’re carrying too much for such a young age”

Irina sighed and rest her head on her arms

“My head hurts”

“Well, all you’ve done this morning is yell, fight, cry and get angry, it’s not a wonder”

“I’m sorry I’m being a brat, Dad said I had to be a good example and like a big sister but I-I just…Villanelle gets the worst out of me in a second!”

“It’s alright, Konstantin shouldn’t have given you another responsibility. You’re a kid you’re not in charge of Villanelle”

“I know I’m not in charge of her, I just… see her so needy and you guys get torn to help her and care for her and all I got from dad was ‘ _promise me you’ll be good Irina, you won’t tease her_ ’” she made her voice grave and shook her finger in a very silly imitation of Konstantin, Eve snorted.

The girl smiled and continued in a much more sad tone “I didn’t feel like it was fair” mumbled the girl feeling more and more dumb by the second, Eve was hiding her smile “Oh god, I’m a jealous sibling aren’t I?!” said the girl with a big whine the former MI6 agent couldn’t help it and began to chuckle

“Hey, hey relax” said the woman noticing the mortification in Irina’s face

“No, I’m like those toddlers that when their mum gets pregnant they ask to drink milk from a bottle again!” explained the teenager with a clear shameful attitude

“Irina its fine to ask for help, you’re just asking for what you need and remember you’re just 16. You’re a kid”

“But I-I’m! I’ve committed a crime!” she said, Eve looked at her serious

“I do believe that’s the main reason why you’re acting like that kind of an anxious toddler, to be honest”

“You don’t know anything” spat Irina getting angry again, Eve stood up

“Don’t get smart with me little lady your father will be happy to take you over his knee again”

“Sorry, sorry” said the girl quickly. She turned red at her instinct reaction.

She hated the control that she was giving them and at the same time she hadn’t feel so at peace since last summer when she was sure her father was dead and her mum was being nice and loving. There was no new boyfriend, no Villanelle and everything was fine.

“I’m going to wash you” said Eve lathering up a sponge and scrubbing her back in a way that meant business but it was careful and loving at the same time.

Irina didn’t remember if she'd ever let herself be this voulnerable in front of someone.

“I’m sorry I’m being annoying, this is new for me” she mumbledconflicted and at the same time grateful because the woman hadn’t gone away.

“I know. It’s an adaptation process. Villanelle is also going through it she’s pretty conflicted too, after all she’s much older than you but you need to control your emotions before you get into much problems”

Irina stayed quiet and let Eve wash her hair.

When the stopper was removed the teen made a face at been dried and dressed but stayed quiet biting her lip. She didn’t want to be ungrateful, Eve was being really nice with her.

“Hey, maybe we could write a letter to your mum... I bet Konstantin can make it get to her. We can explain how you feel and it will give her time to think things through” said Eve with a positive attitude, Irina bit her lip once again

“Really?” she asked wary "But mum said she would call the police if we ever tried to contact her”

“So? I bet Konstantin can make sure the letter is completely secure and even if she calls the authorities she would have to read it”

Irina looked at Eve with hope in her eyes

“You really think dad will let us do that?”

“Well, it’s a risk but we can always ask” said the woman smiling, she was drying the red messy looks.

Irina gave her a genuine smile and Eve realized how little she had seen the girl smile in all this time

“That would be awesome” she said.

Eve helped her into her underpants, pair of jeans a generic bra and cotton shirt. An everyday kind of outfit. She walked behind Eve into the room where Villanelle was still standing in the corner and Konstantin at the bed, looking after her.

“You ok sausage?” asked the man softly, Irina nodded looking away she felt silly and vulnerable after everything that had transpired “Come here” said the man opening his arms and smiling. He hadn’t done that since she was 10 years old.

Tears assaulted her eyes yet she held everything in.

She bit her lip and walked over. Konstantin hugged her to his side and the girl slowly melt into him. He felt as safe as ever. He felt as home. As if years hadn’t turned to shit after he left.

“Villanelle, do you have something to say?” asked the man in a serious voice.

The blonde turned around, she was red in the cheeks this time from embarrassment. The medicines had finally kicked in and she felt a little better.

Villanelle felt an inner turmoil at having to apologize she didn’t see what she had done that could earn her a kick to her ribs but she guessed it had to do with boundaries and personal space and all those things that Konstantin and Eve were always going on and on about.

She was about to speak when Irina beat her to it

“I’m sorry you’re right I was being mean” said the girl that was being hugged by her father “I was annoyed and still sleepy” the girl said softly “I know it’s not an excuse and I apologize for hitting you”

Villanelle gaped.

“I’m sorry too, I was being annoying and sometimes I do whatever I want and I have to ask if I can do it and if the person says no, then I should listen” she repeated what Konstantin had explain to her when she asked what was she supposed to be thinking in that dark corner.

Eve smiled, Irina nodded accepting the apologize even if it sounded like a declamation by memory.

“Finally some peace!” said the man grinning.

Irina pouted hiding herself in her father’s chest.

“Can we have some breakfast?” asked Eve looking at the watch in the wall, it was almost 10 in the morning now.

“Please” whined Villanelle rubbing her stomach, Eve chuckled.

* * *

The rest of the morning passed in relative calmness.

Villanelle took a very long nap after breakfast and Irina went to the media room to see a movie. Eve and Konstantin went on their day with relative ease, Eve began the draft of her ‘secret book’ and took a long bath.

The former KGB man took a shower then began to watch those re runs of poker tournaments that show people making incredible plays costing millions of dollars.

He should teach Irina and Villanelle to play, he could definitely see himself spending a few nights playing poker.

Irina was almost at the end of her movie when the door opened and a sleepy Villanelle dragging her teddy and blanket came trotting into the room

“Now what?” asked Irina wary, the blonde looked at the girl

“Konstantin said you were watching a movie so I came here but I can go if I’m annoying you” she said also short in temper. Irina winced she really was being mean.

“Sorry, come on in”

The room consisted on a huge screen in the wall with rows and rows of dvd’s

“It’ll take a while to watch them all” said Villanelle impressed. She liked movies. Whenever she was in a new city and Konstantin wanted her focused he asked her to stay in. So she spent a lot of time watching movies of all kinds.

“Yeah, I bet”

“What you watching?” asked Villanelle climbing into the huge sofa and cuddling in her blanket

* * *

“I simply can’t believe this” said Eve yawning looking at the clock in the wall.

It was 3 in the morning and she was sitting in Irina’s and Villanelle’s room, standing guard.

“What was that?” asked Villanelle with big teary eyes, Eve rolled her eyes, passed a hand through her face

“It’s the clock in the wall. The one that says it’s three in the fucking morning”

“Maybe it was a ghost”

“It wasn’t a ghost”

“How do you know?”

“I know”

“How?”

“Ghosts don’t exist”

“How can you be sure?” asked the girl sitting up, Eve growled

“If all you wanna do is chit chat I’m going to my room”

“I don’t want to chit chat but there’s ghosts” said Villanelle with a big dramatic gasps

“There aren’t”

“Well… there might” said Irina from her bed, Konstantin slapped his face

“Shut up Irina don’t rile her up again”

Everyone was up since Villanelle had woken from a nightmare that involved ghosts and murders and everything nice that Irina had put in the TV that afternoon.

Villanelle wasn’t afraid of murderous people. She was one of those. But she definitely was afraid of ghosts.

She had yelled, woken up everyone and then tried to do some sort of satanic ritual that they had seen on one of the movies.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“Why did you let her watch that?” asked Konstantin angry to his daughter._

_Irina gaped for a second and Eve quickly intervened_

_“I think we can all agree here that Villanelle could speak up at any moment or leave the room. Irina is not responsible of Villanelle’s actions and if someone did something wrong was her”_

_Villanelle pouted but nodded still sniffling._

_Irina in the other hand looked at Eve gratefully._

_“But if we don’t put the salt around the beds the ghosts are going to come” said the blond confused, maybe find a weapon like when she was trapped in Julian’s house._

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“She’s right you can’t know for sure” she said to Eve sniffling “Can I sleep with you?” asked the blond pitifully, Eve eyed her wary. She had asked since going to bed to sleep with her but the girl needed to understand about boundaries and personal space. “Please” added the girl almost pouting

“Please” said Konstantin from Irina’s bed

“Yes please” begged Irina rubbing her eyes

“Fuck’s sakes, come on” said the agent rolling her eyes. Villanelle grinned and stood up taking all her stuffs in her arms.

“No more talking, just sleep” said the woman, wild curls all over the place.

Villanelle followed her into the room, she quickly found her spot in Eve’s bed and looked at her from under the covers. The woman snorted and climbed after her.

* * *

“I feel like we’ve been over this conversation a thousand times and we’ve only been here _days_ ” said Eve glaring at the table while Irina and Konstantin looked at her wary “You can’t do this”

Villanelle glared at her from her spot in the table

“I said I’m not hungry” she mumbled. She was red in the face; the spots were now littered all over her face and rest of her skin. Her hair was a mess since she kept scratching her head claiming that scars wouldn’t be visible there. Overall she looked _quite_ sick

Eve had woke her up early and forced her into a pair of clean pajamas and a clean pull up.

“You need to eat, you’re sick” explained Eve again, the girl shook her head

“Not if I don’t like it!” she whined, Eve glared

“It’s just oatmeal!”

“I don’t like it!” she whined

“Why don’t you like it?” asked Eve exasperated, Villanelle squirmed in her seat

“I just don’t!” she whined. She wasn’t a baby right now, she was just difficult. She didn’t feel like being a ray of sunshine. _Did she ever?_

Irina snorted into her cup of tea and all Eve did was look down to the table and hide her face behind her messy locks. In her mind Irina could see how the agent was collecting all the patience of more than 40 years of life.

“That’s not a real reason” the explanation came out more like talking to a three year old than a twenty-five year old and Villanelle detected it immediately

“I’m not a child!” she screamed. The helping staff stared at the girl confused while the other 3 ignored her outburst. Like one would do to a three year old. 

“You won’t leave the table, _until_ you eat the half of it” said Konstantin calmly, Villanelle tried to blink away the tears that assaulted her eyes immediatly. 

She squirmed on her seat; she didn’t want a repeat of last time.

The stupid pull up she was wearing made her freeze in contemplation.

She wasn’t a child… but she was acting like one and she was wearing a pull up. She was also wearing ducky printed pajamas.

She looked like a child.

“I don’t like it” she cried dramatically

“Is just half of the plate you drama queen” said Irina rolling her eyes.

It wasn’t even an adult plate it was just a small bowl. Villanelle looked towards her with annoyance in her eyes.

“Eat it yourself then!”

“I won’t eat your baby food” said Irina sarcastically

“It’s not baby food!”

“Then why are you whining like a baby?” asked Irina raising her eyebrows mocking her, Villanelle growled

“I do whatever I want!”

“So we’re just stuck with you whiny baby attitude?”

“Shut up!” mumbled the girl with tears in her eyes. She hated being teased.

“Enough” said Konstantin rolling his eyes Villanelle was being too sensitive, the medication wasn't helping as much as they wished and the girl was just a moody mess.

“I want to go to my room” whined the blond. She wasn't trying to be bad she just didn't want to be there

“You’ve heard Konstantin, half a plate or you stay here” said Eve serious, the man thanked her with his eyes and Eve nodded back, Villanelle began to cry frustrated “Deep breaths honey” she kindly reminded her

Villanelle gulped air

“But please, I don’t want to”

“Here give!” called Irina reaching for Villanelle’s bowl and eating three spoonful of oatmeal in quick succession “They even added honey you baby!” said the teenager handing her the small bowl back after she finished chewing

Villanelle looked at her bowl and grabbed the spoon, there was little over a half left.

“Want me to feed you?” asked Eve softly, Villanelle looked at her wary but nodded.

She wasn’t going to it on her own, that was for sure.

“That was it?” asked Irina laughing

“What?” asked her father looking up from the tablet in which he was reading the newspaper. 

“All she wanted was her mommy feeding her” she said, Villanelle growled at her and stood up angry hands in fists ready to fight

“Sit down!” said Konstantin immediately “Apologize now!” he said to Irina harshly, the teenager flinched. She hated when Konstantin got mad. It made her stomach hurt.

“I’m sorry, I’m being a bully” she said remorseful, Villanelle looked down and shrugged nodding as a response.

“M’sorry for fighting” she said back feeling like an idiot.

She felt like a child through and through.

“Come here” said Eve softly putting a spoon in front of her face, Villanelle shook her head embarrassed

“I can do it” mumbled the girl feeling awfully self-conscious 

“Aww come on” whined Irina "stop making me feel bad I’ve apologized already!”

“Come on” said Eve offering the spoon _again_ , Villanelle opened her mouth.

She tasted the oatmeal and blinked in shock

“What is it?” asked the agent worried for a second that it had been too hot or maybe Irina had purged salt on it and she didn’t notice…

“It tastes good” she said surprised, talking with her mouth full. Konstantin rolled his eyes

“Don’t talk with your mouth full” he said gently

“Of course it tastes good” said Eve confused, tasting the food herself

“Mother never made it taste good. It was just cardboard mush all cold and dry-it- it tasted like watered down cardboard” she explained.

Eve stayed quiet, Irina looked at her with a strange face and even Konstantin looked up from his tablet.

“Well, she’s not here” said Eve with strained voice “And _I’m_ not going to feed you crap” she said serious. The girl looked down “Open up” she said.

The girl heeded the instructions and ate again.

“Are all breakfast going to turn into a battle?” asked Konstantin taking a deep breath and leaning back in his chair, he was now sipping on his cup of tea, smiling at his daughters.

Villanelle smiled, her cheeks full of warm and yummy oatmeal, she shook her face solemnly; Irina shook her head too looking away.

“Look at them, couple of angels” joked Eve

Villanelle snorted and Irina groaned in indignation, the man of course began to laugh again 

“Did you had anymore nightmares?” asked the man after a few seconds of silence, Villanelle quickly shook her head in negative as Eve gave offered her more food.

“I did” said the teenager in a soft voice, Konstantin and Eve turned to look at the girl surprised. Irina was looking down to her plate

“You did?” asked Villanelle with her cheeks full. Eve had finally gave her the spoon back and she was shoving the food into her mouth

“Stop, stop” said Eve quickly taking the spoon away, the girl glared “You’re going to get sick!” chided the agent to Villanelle but quickly turned smiling towards Irina “Tell me about your dream”

“The same nightmare I have all the time” said Irina shrugging her shoulders “I’m driving a car and everyone is on my way, but I don’t stop I just keep accelerating” she explains.

Both adults looked at the teen quietly, Villanelle in the meantime was busy fishing oatmeal with her fingers.

“For God’s sakes!”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :)  
> have a nice week guys. Be safe.

“I don’t think that goes there” mumbled Irina biting on her pinky finger.

Villanelle glared down at the puzzle piece she had just managed to ram into a slot.

“It does” it was said with such certanty that Irina had to lean and squint closer 

“It’s not even the same color”

“What are you, the puzzle police?” asked Villanelle idly scratching her leg

Both girls were sitting in the floor of the media room.

Konstantin had produced seemingly out of thin air a one thousand piece puzzle and promised both a trip to the beach if they managed to finish it under a week.

They had been at it 4 hours and so far had only managed the frame of the puzzle.

“Stop scratching” said Irina. Villanelle rolled her eyes and scratched again.

“I’ll tell Eve!” said the teenager quickly standing up

“I’ll kill you before you get there” called the blond after her, socks skidding in the floor 

“You couldn’t kill a spider if you wanted!” yelled Irina running up the hall trying to find Eve

“Shut up!” screeched Villanelle chasing after the lanky teenager.

* * *

“Did you foresee this?” asked Eve watching into the beautiful scenery she had before her in the small upstairs office.

She had heard Irina yell and Villanelle had just yelled something back. She was smoking a cig and doing the afternoon crossword.

Now there was a tremendous noise in the stairs

“If those two don’t kill each other, they will kill me first!” yelled Konstantin standing up from where he was reading and walking to the door

Eve blew out the smoke as she heard more yelling, a vase breaking somewhere in the vicinity, a very _heavy_ thud… and then more yelling.

“Eve!” called Konstantin loudly. Eve closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Eve!” called the man again.

The woman stood up, threw what was left of her cigarret and quickly reached the hallway.

The view that greeted her was quite... something

The man was in the floor and on his lap Irina was wincing and clearly looking scared.

She was holding out her hand that was bleeding and Villanelle in the meantime was sitting next to both, shirt and clothes stained with blood.

It seemed –by the look of it- that the blonde was trying to stop the bleeding with her own hands.

“Stop!” said Konstantin to the girl who began panicking too

“I didn’t do anything!” she cried

“I know you didn’t. I’m just worried about your sister” explained the man quickly, trying not to be mean or short tempered towards the girl.

Villanelle nodded and quickly stood up, coming close to Eve. She hadn’t even registered how the man had called Irina.

“What the fuck happened?” asked the agent passing a tired hand through her curls. Villanelle winced and quickly started talking, she didn’t want to get in _more_ trouble.

“I was chasing Irina, I almost got her when she crashed against that” Villanelle pointed to a very fancy pedestal that was lacking a very fancy crystal vase that had some pretty flowers this morning

“Of course she did” groaned the woman

“We need to clean this up, I have to check if she needs stitches” he said looking at Irina’s hand that was still dripping blood

Irina began to tear up. That was going to hurt.

The red-haired girl tried to escape numerous times before reaching the bathroom and ended up being almost carried into it by her father. She was fully crying now.

“S’gonna hurt!” she whined, Konstantin nodded grabbing her softly and sitting her in the counter

“It is”

“Why don’t you let Eve stich her, she’s good” said Villanelle waking into the bathroom where both agents were fussing around the younger girl

“Out. Sit in bed” said Eve quickly, the girl pouted and left the bathroom. Irina was crying scared

“Papa please, its fine”

“Oh sausage you know better than to be running around”

The girl was still sniveling while Eve cleaned her face of tears and snot.

onstantin poured water over the wound to see its depth. The poor creature gave a harsh cry, more out of shock than real pain.

“Call the doctor would you?” asked the man softly to Eve who nodded despite the increasing cries of Irina.

* * *

“Just for once I would like to see you two spend an hour without fighting” said Konstantin hours later sitting in their shared bedroom where the doctor was stitching the girl

“We weren’t fighting” said Villanelle softly sitting next to Irina watching the whole process with morbid fascination.

Eve had let her stay on the condition she stayed quiet “We were doing the stupid puzzle” she added as defense 

“Oh, so now it’s my fault”

“Well, we didn’t buy it!” said Villanelle quickly, the man was about to answer back angry when the doctor interrupted

“Listo Señor, solamente necesita cuidados generales y cambiar el vendaje todos los días de esta semana”

Irina was still crying, although it was much less enthusiastic after the doctor gave her painkillers and injected her hand to numb it.

The man had smiled to Irina and then turned to Villanelle immediately, checking her arms and touching her neck

“Stop, Konstantin tell him he’s not here for me” groaned the girl trying to pull away. The doctor smiled at her

“Checkup” said the man in a much accented English.

“Fuck off” said the girl, Eve quickly stepped close

“Don’t be rude” she chided, smiling at the doctor

“Not fair” whined the girl trying to leave “You tricked me!” she accused to Eve who had the grace to look a little guilty

“You’re not getting any better look at all those spots! You look like a connect the dots picture”

The doctor began to give a lengthy explanation about how Villanelle’s age was playing a factor in the aggressiveness the disease was having.

The older you get it _the worse it could get_.

The notion seemed to be a scary one for Villanelle who was already feeling too weak and too sick in the curse of a day.

She didn’t like being vulnerable; it made her feel out of control. 

When the doctor was finished with both girl’s Konstantin led him out to pay for his service and write down whatever he needed to buy to take care of Irina.

Eve stayed with both girls sitting on Villanelle’s bed.

She was in the middle of the bed; her back to the headboard and a girl on each side.

She was reading out loud some book on international politics that Irina had been reading back at the plane. Her right hand was absentmindedly passing through Villanelle’s blond hair that was still a mess since the girl wouldn’t stop scratching. The girl was perched at her side, softly falling asleep against her thigh.

Irina was in the other side also falling asleep. Her head was in Eve’s lap; she was cradling her left hand against her chest and softly breathing in and out

* * *

“This book is incredibly boring” groaned the woman when Konstantin came back into the room. The man froze at the sight. Both girls were asleep.

“I can see that” he said surprised at the view “I don’t think I’ve ever seen them this still since we’ve got here”

“They’re a handful” admitted the woman nodding.

Villanelle was especially clingy and demanding of attention but Irina was not staying behind asking for the involvement of her father in her dealing of trauma.

“Well I think we should install naps as part as the schedule” commented the man watching his clock “Right before dinner seems like the perfect hour”

“You try to explain that to them” chuckled Eve.

Irina stirred but otherwise remained asleep. Villanelle was lost to the world she was even drooling now.

“We’ll trick them”

“I’m sure that’ll work”

“Want out of there?” asked the man smirking.

Eve smiled gratefully and extended her hands; Konstantin helped her get out of the bed without upsetting the girls too much except for Irina who had to be lifted so that Eve could be free

“Mmhhama?” mumbled the girl feeling the loss of warmth.

After a few seconds of fighting sleep she curled into herself and lost the battle quite probably due to the pain medication.

Konstantin’s eyes filled with tears

“She’s just a kid Eve… I fucked up with my kid”

“Well… I mean” the woman froze

“I just threw my life into work and put her whole life at risk. Look at her”

The man seemed quite afflicted by his sudden epiphany but Eve had suddenly found a few words to say

“Listen Konstantin I’ve dealt with Villanelle’s meltdown this morning because she found a gray hair behind her ear then I dealt with Irina’s meltdown a little while ago because she hurt her hand I’m really in no disposition to deal with another meltdown” the agent took a deep breath “And I’m sorry if life is shitty and everything is shit but I just _can’t_ be _everyone’s_ mommy. So get your shit together, step up your game and be there for your daughter now”

“Ok” the man was frozen

“We good?” asked Eve with a smile

“Yes” he smiled back

“Good” a blink

“I’ll see you in dinner” a wave

“Sure” another wave.

 _That went well_ thought Eve as she left. 

* * *

“Gosh, look at you, you’re all groggy” 

The blond girl looked up from under the mess her hair was.

“I don’t feel good” she groaned.

Irina was at her side, also waking up.

“My hand stings” she whined immediately. Eve took a deep breath.

“Alright, alright, let’s get to dinner and then medication will be sorted, Villanelle you need to eat something, you can pick. Irina, hold on a little more and I’ll give you pain killers”

Both girls were soothed by Eve’s ‘in charge’ attitude; it was a nice change from the self-reliant lives they usually led.

The woman precisely took charge and made sure they washed their hands, cleaned their faces and put on shoes before going to the kitchen.

 _That_ itself had been quite the battle.

Konstantin was already in the kitchen making sure the staff had all the food ready, well cooked and served for everyone.

When the three woman walked in everything was mostly set. They just had to sit and eat.

Villanelle picked at some rice with a lazy attitude. Her head was all stuffed and her whole body hurt.

Irina was quiet too, subdued and tired from the hectic day.

Konstantin began to talk to Eve about MI6 recruiting system while they enjoyed dinner and no later than 10 both girls were asleep.

* * *

_“I think she’s still asleep”_

_“Villanelle”_

_“I’m going to kill this kid!”_

_“Villanelle”_

_“Can you get the tub ready? She’s really burning up”_

The voices were getting louder and louder.

_“Villanelle?”_

The effort it took to open her right eye was outstanding. She had never felt so tired in her entire life.

“Hey, hey!” Eve face was in front of her, the woman seemed frantic and scared.

She tried to sit up, she felt disgusting. She was drenched in sweat and was violently shivering. Her head was going to burst and all her skin felt on fire.

“Honey no. I’m going to need you to stay lying down”

Eve pushed her back down to bed and she began close her eyes again trying to fall asleep, she felt terrible!

If she wasn’t going to be allowed to move then she wanted to go back to sleep.

Irina came close and handed Eve some medicine boxes the woman quickly sorted a few and came close to her with a glass, water and the pills.

“Villanelle, I need you to drink this” said the woman’s voice close to her again, she was jostled awake by Irina who was not by any means gentle.

She glared at the teenager but accepted help when she sat her up.

She drank whatever Eve was going on and on about drinking then tried to go back to sleep except this time Konstantin came close and picked her up.

“Stahp!” she whined slurring her words.

She tried to clear her vision and stop seeing everything so blurry, but it was hard. She didn’t feel like being awake anyway!

She turned into a noodle. She didn’t want this. Everything hurt!

“Everything hurts” she slurred sleepy rubbing her eyes when Konstantin finally sat her on the counter

“I know honey, your fever got worse so we’re going to give you a bath” explained Eve quickly removing the top part of her pajamas, Villanelle couldn’t even understand what was going on she was too dizzy and confused. She just didn’t want to be naked! She was freezing!

“No!” she whined, tears flowing easy out of her eyes.

It was a surprise to her to find herself crying so freely.

There was a time before she was 10 when tears came easy and without bounds. She would cry for every little thing that came her way or made her upset. After that age it was hard to make her cry. Life had made sure of that.

Right now the novelty was that if she felt upset she could act upset if she felt bad then she could act upon it, she could cry. She didn’t have to keep her cool, think of the mission, secure the target then try to find a way out of there alive.

“I feel really bad” she cried, tears running down her cheeks and shoulder shaking

“I know baby” said Eve patting her cheek with a cold hand.

“Water’s ready” called Konstantin somewhere nearby; Villanelle frowned. She really wasn’t at all aware of whatever was going on around her.

Everything was lights and shiny things. Eve took away her pajama trousers leaving her in just a damp nappy.

Villanelle reacted on instinct

“Sorry-sorry” she mumbled suddenly trying to get down the floor

“Hey no, no” said the agent catching her quickly before she could harm herself or fall

“Sorry”

“It’s fine” said Eve quickly, trying to make the girl feel safe.

Last thing they needed right now was a panic attack

Villanelle flinched. Eve got closer. She was confused.

She was wet. Was Eve going to hit her?

Is she the hitting one?

The hitting _one?_

One… _what?_

“I’m sorry” she said again. Eve smiled softly

“Baby, can you look at me?” she asked, the blonde tried to focus, this was important. Her head was fuzzy. Mommy was going to be cross at her.

Mommy hated when she didn’t pay attention.

Her eyes couldn’t find mommy though; she found curls and the faint smell of paper, coffee and toothpaste.

Wild dark curls that were suddenly around her, engulfing her and making her feel safe.

“What in the world is she doing?” asked Konstantin looking worriedly to Villanelle who was hiding on Eve’s neck refusing to help or move.

“She’s just smelling me” said the woman shrugging “I don’t-just help me would you?” she asked, the man came close “Wait…no, what if she doesn’t wants you to see her naked” said Eve suddenly worried she’s crossing some boundary they never discussed. Konstantin chuckled

“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who cares less about been naked in front of others than Villanelle”

Eve eyed him, then looked to the half-naked girl who was draped/clinging to her in a death grip.

“Yeah alright fine, you win” she said rolling her eyes.

The man smiled and came close carrying the girl with much more ease than Eve.

The older woman came close and fixed the girl’s hair unto a bun on the top of her hair. At last she removed the girl’s damp nappy and threw it away.

“Mama” called Villanelle in a whine at been split so suddenly from the warmth and comfort that came with Eve and being carried back into the cold, itchy world.

Both adults froze. They didn’t know what to do or say.

“Ummm…”

“Just get her in the tub” said Eve quickly, feeling her heart grow then thousand times in size.

Konstantin nodded and finally got the kid near the tub. The water was warm but Villanelle was having none of it. She began to squirm and try to get away.

She didn’t need a bath!

She was so weak and tired that not even her fighting and yelling stopped Konstantin from sitting her in the soapy water

“I’m sorry” cried the blond sobbing openly sitting in the water

“Hey, what’s wrong?” asked Konstantin kneeling next to her

“I was bad” mumbled the girl placing her thumb into her mouth immediately after the confession. Her eyes were unfocused and she seemed dazed.

Eve bit her lip worried, they needed to get that fever down as soon as possible.

Konstantin looked towards Eve with sad and haunted eyes.

“I’ll get her clean clothes and some milk, look after her yes?” said the woman quickly finding herself in the necessity _to_ _do_ something and not just stand there.

“Mama please don’t go” cried Villanelle desperate “M’sorry, I truly am” she cried

Eve cursed in her head whoever had punished and hurt Villanelle in her childhood.

“Hey sweet girl I’m not going anywhere I just wanted to get you some comfy clothes” she explained softly “Besides it’s fine, you don’t have to apologize, you haven’t done anything” Villanelle frowned, then why was she in the cold water? “Relax, it’ll do you good” said Eve with tears in her eyes, it was awful to see Villanelle suffering so much.

Villanelle was shivering. Her whole body was aching so bad she just kept crying letting lose whatever her body had no use for.

Konstantin traded places with Eve and went to get clean clothes for the girl.

Back at the room Irina was sitting in her bed, hugging her teddy

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“ _Dad! Dad!” the knocking was frantic and t_ _he yelling scared the sleep out of him in a second_

_“What is it?!” yelled the poor man feeling his heart literally skip a beat; Irina looked pale and younger than ever_

_“It’s Villanelle!” she said, Konstantin frowned looking down to his wrist watch, it was 5 in the morning “She’s sick!”_

_“Go get Eve, I’ll go to her” he instructed. Irina wans't one to exaggerate_

_He had walked the short distance to the girl’s room and found Irina’s bed made a mess, all the bedding in the floor._

_Villanelle’s bed on the other hand had a small pile of covers on the middle of her bed._

_He quickly came close and began to remove the blankets as soon as he felt the heat coming off the girl._

_The blond girl was a tangle of uncoordinated limbs, she was flushed all over, red spots erupting in her otherwise pale skin. She was drenched in sweat and her nappy was damp._

_He quickly shook her trying to wake her up but a soft groan was the only response._

_“Shot” said Eve coming into the room shaking sleep off as quickly as he had._

_She immediately came close and placed her hand on Villanelle’s forehead_

_“I think she’s still asleep” said Konstantin confused at the girl’s vacant look_

_“Villanelle” called Eve softly_

_“I’m going to kill this kid” groaned Konstantin worried off his wits_

_“Villanelle” said the woman softy again but there was no response, she looked towards Konstantin “Can you get the tub ready? She’s really burning up”_

_“Villanelle?”_

_+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

“Hey sausage!” said the men to his daughter, the poor kid seemed exhausted too

“Can I use the bathroom?” asked immediately

Konstantin blinked confused

“I just really gotta pee” mumbled Irina a little embarrassed

“Sure, yeah… you can go in my room” he said. The girl nodded gratefully and left the room.

Konstantin began to find Villanelle’s clothes in the drawers and stuff around the girl’s bed. He had the outfit ready when his daughter walked back into the room a little less flushed but still just as tired

“Is she alright?” asked the girl softly 

Konstantin smiled tiredly

“She will be; Eve and I are taking care of her don’t worry too much” he explained; Irina bit her lip and looked down

“Alright” she said

Konstantin came close

“You alright?”

“Just…” mumbled Irina

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_The roads were shining. She wasn’t in her mother’s driveway, she was in some London street._

_She knew it was London because it was rainy, cold and dreary._

_She was driving with her left hand on the wheel and she was speeding._

_The buildings around her turned more and more blurry. She was going too fast._

_“You’re going to crash” said Villanelle from the passenger seat._

_She began to scream because Villanelle hadn’t been there a second before and the blonde woman began to scream too._

_“What are you doing here?” she asked scared, the Russian assassin grinned at her and began to cackle_

_“We’re going to kill Eve and Konstantin!”_

_She woke up with a gasp and sat up._

_For a total of 10 seconds Irina was fully convinced she had wet the bed but slowly noticed that **all** her clothes were drenched. She had been sweating._

_She pushed the covers away into the floor and laid back feeling the sweat dry on her skin slowly._

_Her heart was still hammering in her chest._

_She felt gross and sweaty but there was not an ounce of her being that wanted to move. She heard her breathing in the midst of the night and thought it was loud._

_After a few minutes she began to calm down and a really harsh thirst made her stand up. The room was completely dark and since she had only been there for less than a week she decided to turn the lights on hoping her roommate wouldn’t mind so much._

_The room illuminated bright as day and Irina groaned closing her eyes_

_“Shit” she mumbled walking to the bathroom dazzled by the brightness._

_She noticed that Villanelle was a tight little ball in the middle of her bed and frowned._

_There was something odd about it._

_She squirmed in her spot. She had to pee._

_“Fucking hell” she whined rolling her eyes. Something compelled her to walk over and check on her “Villanelle?” she asked softly._

_There was no answer nor movement; she put her hands on the bulk and removed one of the blankets. She dropped it immediately and ran to get her dad._

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

“Just scared” confessed the girl looking down.

Konstantin looked her up and down and noticed she was all disheveled. It wasn’t like Irina to admit she was afraid but lately he could she was opening a little more maybe even trusting them.

“What were you doing up?” he asked suddenly looking at the covers in the floor and back at the girl, Irina squirmed in her seat looking at her teddy

“I-I was going to the bathroom” she said. _It wasn’t a lie_

Konstantin sat next to Irina then suddenly he was touching her shirt and neck

“Dad stop!” she whined pushing him away, he frowned

“Why are you damp?” he asks in his thick accent

“You’re on my personal space and I want you to move” she said ignoring his question and pushing him away, Konstantin rolled his eyes

“Irina no more games tell me what the hell is going on?” he was worried but at the same time took a step back and waited for the girl to answer.

“I had a nightmare alright?” confessed the girl with a growing sense of sadness “I had a nightmare, I woke up all panicky needing the bathroom and-“

She couldn’t finish, Konstantin was hugging her.

Irina relished in the feeling of a hug. A hug from her father.

Her dream might have been silly but she had felt quite scared.

He felt as warm and comfortable as always.

He felt just like when she was three and scared of the dark crying her eyes out in his bed.

Or when she was five and he showed up late to her birthday party and later turned out he had been stabbed that day yet managed to _be there_.

She took a deep breath and clung to him.

“Let me go and give Villanelle clean clothes” he said softly, the girl nodded and pulled back “Can you wait for me 10 minutes?” she nodded and hugged her teddy yawing

“I’ll probably fall asleep” she mumbled lying down, she rubbed her cheek with her teddy and took a deep breath.

 _Everything seems less horrible when you let papa take care of things._ Though Irina puffing out air and softly closing her eyes. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :v   
> Wish me luck.

The lukewarm bath lasted for around twenty minutes in which Villanelle did not stop squirming, whining and complaining. 

“Out” she begged 

“Not yet” answered Eve pouring water over the temporally marred and flushed skin

“Please” whined the girl moving trying to get up

“Villanelle no, just wait” she held her in the tub and the girl tried to fight back but she had no strength “We need to get your fever down or you can get seriously ill” explained the former agent, hoping the girl didn't think she was enjoying this. 

“Mama please” whimpered the poor child trying still to crawl out of the tub

“Stop!” said Eve stern. Villanelle looked at her with such hurt in her eyes that she felt like the biggest dickhead in the world

“I got the clothes” said Konstantin walking back to the bathroom and putting a bunddle of badly folded clothes near by. 

“That’s fine, we’ll be here just a little while more”

Villanelle whined out loud and Konstantin chuckled in response 

“I’ll be outside with Irina” he said softly, Eve nodded 

* * *

Irina was trying to fall asleep, she really hoped not to have any more nightmares and if she was honest her fear to nightmares was the reason she couldn't go back to sleep again.

“Hey, what are you doing?” asked his father coming close, Irina sat up glad to be interrupted but put up an annoyed face so he would think otherwise

“I’m trying to sleep I can still catch a few hours” whined the girl, Konstantin chuckled

“Yes, but come here let me change your pajamas those are all damp”

Irina groaned and fell back to bed

“It’s fine”

“No its not, it’s gross” he said, the girl whined

“I just don’t want to move Dad, leave it”

“I’ll help you”

“Dad, leave it” whined the girl, the man shook his head

“No, then you’ll get sick and that’ll be a happy ride” he was being sarcastic. Irina glared

“You’ve never taken care of me sick so shut up” she said sitting up, now she was angry 

Silence hung heavy in the air after that statement.

“I know-I know I haven’t”

“You probably have taken care of Villanelle though” said the girl glaring still.

Konstantin rolled his eyes and slapped his face

“Irina is this jealousy thing going to become a thing?” he asked a little amused, Irina blushed profusely

“I’m not jealous!” she cried offended, Konstantin laughed and hugged the girl to his chest “Dad I’m not!” whined the girl embarrassed her voice muffled by the man's chest.

“It’s alright” he said serious, no longer teasing her “Sometimes Villanelle is too much, I get it” he said. 

The girl felt out there, exposed and embarrassed. She didn’t want to deal with this so she stayed in her father’s chest, hearing his heartbeat. She began to suck her lower lip, a habit she had knocked off years ago. It was so simple to fall into the care her father was offering her.

She didn’t know she was so touch starved nor how needy of attention she was.

“You asleep?” asked Konstantin softly after a few minutes in silence.

Irina didn’t want to answer, she just stayed there quietly sucking her bottom lip and self soothing to sleep just like she used to when she was five.

* * *

The fever finally broke and Eve was the most happy person after twenty minutes of incessant crying and whining. Villanelle was finally able to think a little more clearly and she was a little more subdued and less vocal. 

The woman was still sitting next to her, watching over her quietly

“What time is it?” asked the russian tiredly, her voice raspy. Eve smiled at her

“Around 5:30… maybe 6” she said “are you feeling better?”

Villanelle nodded a little reluctantly. She wasn’t really feeling _better_. She just wasn’t felt like dying anymore she just felt like sleeping 40 hours straight. 

“m’cold” she mumbled

“I know, come on let’s get you out” Eve had everything ready, from the clothes to the towel and she felt very grateful for the help because she honestly felt like shit. 

“You need to stop scaring us like this” said the woman trying to be funny but sounding actually worried.

“Not my intention” said the girl frowning “I feel like shit” she admitted taking a deep breath and getting up with help.

Water dripped everywhere.

“Yeah, you look like it”

“Not nice” mumbled the girl letting herself be wrapped in a towel trying to warm herself up quickly

“I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time”

Villanelle didn’t say anything as she sat down in the toilet lid and let her head fall into her hands

“My head is going to burst” she mumbled feeling faint, Eve grimaced

“I can’t give you more medication, let’s get you to sleep and see if it helps”

The woman grabbed another towel and began to dry her efficiently. The girl whimpered and hissed at the spots being touched.

“Should I put some lotion?”

Villanelle hated with passion the sensation the lotion gave to her skin, but she was getting a little desperate here.

“Yes please” her voice was small, meek.

Eve quickly put the medication in the girl’s legs and spread it efficiently trying not to hurt her further.

“There, let me see your arms” she said, Villanelle followed her instructions and soon she was feeling sticky and gross but no longer itchy.

“Back to bed?” she asked tired, the woman frowned

“Don’t you want to have some milk?” Eve tried to negotiate with the girl so she could have some nourishment but she truly seemed feeling too weak

“Noo, please?” the plead was nothing more than a whimper, so soft and lost that Eve immediately hugged the girl to her chest

“Alright, let’s go to bed” she agreed.

* * *

The sluggish girl dragged her feet back into the bed and curled under the blankets shivering

“Oh honey I wish I could do more” said Eve in a whisper leaning close to kiss her forehead, Villanelle sniffled and gave her a timid smile

“You’re already doing more than anyone ever before” confessed the girl

Eve’s heart clenched in her chest and her eyes filled with tear; her hand grasped a few blond locks and she began to play with the blond hair, passing it through her fingers and making it curl

“Everyone fucked up so bad with you” she said serious, with a sad gaze in her face. The sick girl smiled up at her

“Mama?” she asked softly 

“Yeah?” asked Eve suddenly smiling holding her tears for another time. Whatever Villanelle had lived through had been horrible but the girl was strong as a rock so she needed to be strong too, she couldn’t just bawl her eyes out she had to be a good caregiver for her.

“I love you” mumbled the girl closing her eyes softly still trying to fight sleep.

“Awww Villanelle” Eve felt her heart grow again, it was like finding a piece of her that was missing “I love you too baby” she said back, a few tears spilling against her will this time the response came naturally without fear for whatever her feeling may lead her. She was tired of denying herself and Villanelle, if they were happy doing whatever they were doing then she was fine with it.

“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?” asked the girl hugging her stuffed bear close, Eve nodded and sat at the head of the bed. Villanelle dragged herself close and pressed her nose against the woman’s warm thigh.

However after 10 minutes the girl began to cry, frustrated, tired and in pain

“What’s the matter?” asked Eve almost asleep but still massaging the girl’s scalp softly, Villanelle whimpered

“If I fall asleep I’m going to die” she said

“What? Of course you’re not going to die!” explained the woman surprised “You drank all your medicines, I’m right here watching over you, Konstantin is right in the bed across, you’re not going to die”

“I just feel so bad” she mumbled, Eve sighed

“I know honey”

“Will you stay?”

“I’m not going anywhere” confirmed the Asian woman with a nod

“Will you wake me if I’m not breathing?” she asked with a meek voice, Eve almost wanted to chuckle at how cute Villanelle was.

“Of course I will” she said, her worry mixed with a little amusement

“Alright” grumbled the girl “You’ll wake me if there’s ghost too?” asked the girl before losing the battle and drifting off to sleep.

This time Eve did chuckle.

* * *

Irina couldn’t remember the last time she had slept so profound and soundly as the last 2 hours.

Konstantin had stayed and ended up cuddling her as she slept. She kept her head on his chest hearing his damaged heart keep his steady pace.

As she fell asleep she felt immensely lucky to have Konstantin at her side.

He missed out a lot but no matter what he always came back.

He had missed her soccer games when she was young, but he had got her out of prison and defended her against her own mother.

He had missed the time _she_ had chickenpox but he was here, hugging her and trying to hold the pieces of her together.

Maybe he hadn’t been a stellar father but she could work with what he was offering. She didn’t have much other choice anyway.

“Wake up sausage” she heard, a beard tickled her nose and she pulled back annoyed at being pulled out of her sleeping peace. 

“No” she whined, she didn’t want to wake up she finally was warm and comfortable.

“Come on, it’s breakfast time”

“No” she said again, a little louder. A chuckle that made her whole head shake was the response, the man satt up and Irina was unavoidably moved “Papa stop!” she whined but a giggle escaped her it was almost like being nine again. 

She literally heard Konstantin’s heart skip a beat at her words. She had always called him Papa until one day when she decided she was too old to do so.

“It’s time for breakfast now, you need food you’re too thin” he said in a tone that made clear that the girl had no choice but to wake up and move

“I’m so tired though” she whined

“You can have a nap later”

“Not a baby” she mumbled, hiding her face into the old and ratty fur of her teddy bear

“I’ll have a nap too! Naps are not just for babies” he explained standing up from bed and stretching, Irina mused his words and looked towards Villanelle’s bed where Eve was sleeping half-sitting on the bed still holding onto a flushed and sick looking girl.

“You gonna wake them too?” asked the teenager softly, Konstantin smiled and nodded.

* * *

Villanelle was pretty sure her eyes were going to fall off.

“That can’t happen honey” said Eve with patience, the girl frowned not even aware of having spoken at loud.

“You’re not a doctor”

“I asked the doctor when he came to check on you” was said with mirth in her voice, Villanelle glared at her.

All three females were in the media room watching some black and white movie that Eve had put on an hour ago. So far Irina was the only one asleep, cuddled with a pillow at the right side of Eve.

Eve had been watching the movie alone when the red-haired girl had shuffled in wrapped in her blanket while holding her teddy bear. The girl had been fuzzy all day long; moping around and whining about her hand and lack of sleep. She hadn’t even said anything she had just seen Eve sitting there and shuffled towards her.

“Can I sleep here?” she had asked in a soft voice, the Asian woman smiled and nodded and the rest was history.

Villanelle on the other hand had wandered in 10 minutes after Irina and pretty much had done the same except her head was on Eve’s lap and she seemed less inclined to fall asleep. 

“You asked the doctor if my eyes were going to fall?” asked the girl not amused, Eve chuckled and nodded

“I did” she said grinning, the blond stuck out her tongue and turned back to the movie “Try to get some sleep, you hardly got any last night” suggested the woman, Villanelle groaned

“I’m tired of sleeping”

Eve began to play with the girl’s hair and in less than five minutes she was also asleep, snoring softly against her leg.

“See, I told you naps were a good idea” said Konstantin from the door about twenty minutes later, Eve rolled her eyes

“They’re exhausted! Today was easy”

The man nodded tiredly at her, he had been tying some dead ends with some refugees and escapees in the same position as they. It had been a tiresome day.

“I really hope we settle down soon, I can’t keep up” he confessed, Eve looked at him wary

“Is everything alright back in London?”

“As well as it can be, Carolyn will keep me posted” he said with confidence in his voice.

Irina stirred from the noise, the man came close and patted her back

“Not-a-baby” groaned Irina tying to roll away from the comforting and very enjoyable sensation. Konstantin chuckled and followed her with his hand until she was face down and he was still softly patting her back.

She fell back asleep that way.

* * *

“Stop moving” said the man taking a deep breath

“It hurts!” cried the girl hiding her hurt hand into her chest 

“I haven’t even touched it!” said Konstantin starting to lose patience and reaching for her hand again 

“It hurts papa!” cried the girl pulling away.

Konstantin was helping her change the bandages after her bath so she could go to bed but -to Irina- the whole thing seemed horribly unnecessary, her bandages were clean and her wound was fine. She didn’t need this.

“It can’t hurt because I haven’t even touched it! Come here” he said angry. The girl flinched and her eyes immediately filled with tears

“Oh come on!” he groaned. He was a failure at this he knew this, his ex-wife was very clear when she left. He felt himself being filled with negative emotions, he really was failing in every aspect for Irna and now on top of that he was being mean “Let me get Eve” he said leaving the room suddenly.

Irina began to softly sniffle, the silence in the room was deafening, she looked down to her socked feet and a sob racked her frame

“Hey, hey pretty girl everything is fine” she heard. Suddenly a pair of hands were cleaning her tears dripping down her cheeks

“Where’s papa?” she asked with a very small voice. She hardly could believe it came out of herself.

“He’s with Vi-“

Irina began to sob hard and Eve looked completely confused

“Are you alright?” she asked trying to help the soothe the distressed child

“I want my papa!” she cried, Eve took a big breath

“I can help chag-“

“I want papa!” she yelled, her face turning red from the effort.

Konstantin came running quickly and as soon as he was in her line of sight she jumped off the counter and clung to his neck, still crying

“Papa!” she cried heartbrokenly.

Why did he prefer Villanelle over her? What did the blonde had she didn’t?

“What’s the matter?” asked the man confused, Eve looked at him baffled

“I have no idea, she just burst into tears” she said “I walked in here and she just-just began crying”

The girl was still at it, clinging to her father

“She’s just overwhelmed take her to bed” said Eve smiling tiredly and leaving the room

Konstantin sagged against Irina as well holding her close, he held her quietly and patiently 

After 10 minutes of her crying starting the girl remained in her father’s lap who was sitting in the toilet lid watching her quietly.

“I love you” said Konstantin suddenly, Irina looked him from under her wet lashes and hiccupped in response “You’re my daughter” he continued, the girl pouted as she felt more tears come into her eyes “ and I am not going anywhere and if I am ever to die it will be protecting you” the man said this words with a solemn face and the girl soaked in the attention and sudden devotion.

She felt small, she felt tired of everything she was dealing with and having to be strong enough to take it.

“Can I sleep with you?” asked the girl a little on edge, Konstantin smiled and she blushed bright red “Please” she added as an afterthought. When she was little sleeping with her papa was a right, she never had had to ask.

The man had a curious expression on his face, half amused-half enamored of his daughter, she was adorable. He nodded silently and motioned for her to stand.

“I have to clean your bandages it was the doctor’s instructions” a pause “will you let me do it?” he asked softly, Irina bit her lip

“It’s clean papa, can’t you leave it like that?” she tried one last time, the man sighed

“We have to clean it, I’ve seen what an infection looks like Irina, you don’t want one”

The girl took a big breath and extended her arm

“Alright... I’m gonna trust you” she mumbled, Konstantin smiled

“Thank you sausage” he said holding the small hand into his.

He quickly got all the things he needed to clean and change the bandages

It didn’t take more than 10 minutes and 2 flinches for the bandages to be ready so the girl felt silly for making such a big fuss.

“We’ll sleep in my bed, is bigger” he said yawning, patting her hand away.

Irina nodded quickly and ran to her bed to grab her stuffed bear

“Are you staying here?” asked the man towards Eve who was watching over a sleeping Villanelle

“Yeah, she’s finally asleep and I’m just exhausted” she confessed with a smile

The man nodded agreeing with her and left hand in hand with Irina who was softly sucking on her bottom lip

“If you keep that up you’ll hurt yourself”

The man had a distinct memory of his wife telling him the girl was causing lacerations on her lower lip from sucking too hard when she was little, Irina looked at him surprised and nodded slowly, her cute red curls bouncing in her head. 

“I’ll remember” she mumbled, Konstantin ruffled the curls, she smiled. 

The tired man dragged his feet to his bed as if it was the hardest part of his day, he removed the covers quickly and made a motion with his head for the girl to get in

“Come on” he added when he saw her hesitate, he could see Irina was giving a lot of herself in this moment, he honestly couldn't remember the last time he had talked to her this much. 

Much like Villanelle, the girl quickly found a comfortable spot pressed against her papa and softly absorbing his smell through the night.

* * *

Deep breaths

_Deep breaths_

“Deep breaths”

_Fucking deep breaths_

“I can’t!” she cried, Konstantin was holding her to his side

“You need to listen to my voice and relax”

“I can’t!” she cried again, this time her limbs began to shake and her throat began to close, she couldn't take air in, she suddenly felt a lot of cold 

“I’m here, nothing is wrong, I just need you to breathe” his voice was deep with sleep but he was rubbing her back and trying to sound as calm as possible, she on the other hand seemed to be trying to suck all the air of the room into her small lungs “It was just a dream Irina, you were dreaming” he said over and over again but the girl couldn’t hear him, she was terrified and she wasn't even aware of the fact she had been dreaming 

“Papa” she cried nuzzling into his chest and burrowing her face under his chin

“I’m here nothing is wrong” he said again, his hand settling on a patting rhythm in her back, her breathing began to settle and air started to flow

“The blood” she whined choking on the taste of it

“Blood?” the man sat up quickly and turned the lamp on; he looked at Irina and noticed all her cheeks, chin and neck were stained with blood, so was his shirt. Her nose was bleeding that often happened when she made too much effort.

“Ugh” she whined gagging, blood and tears dripping from her face

“Come on, let’s clean you up” he said standing up and helping the whiny girl out of the bed

Irina clung to his arm as he led her quickly 

“I’m sorry I know you’re tired” said the girl as soon as they reached the bathroom “I can do it alone” she offered. Konstantin messed her hair with his big, heavy hand and she felt safe and comforted at the same time. 

“You’re doing nothing alone, Papa is here” he said, Irina grinned at him and hugged him, clining to him for a few precious seconds.

“I love you” she whispered into his hear almost afraid that someone would hear her even when they were all alone, Konstantin patted her back softly, warmly. 

“I love you too puppet” 

The man sat her in the counter and cleaned her cheeks with a wet towel

“Care to tell me about your dream?” he asked softly to the shaken girl. Irina shook her head quickly, red curls flaying around “It seemed pretty scary” said the man in a chatty tone, this time the girl nodded but still she offered no explanation so he didn't push for one. 

Once she was clean enough he grabbed the hem of her pajama top that had been stained with blood and removed it. She quickly covered herself and blushed.

“Let me get you one of my shirts” said the man quickly, trying not to act awkward in any way, Irina was thankful for his attitud and soon was clad in a huge cotton shirt and her pajamas bottoms.

“Come on, off to bed with you” he said acting all cheery, the girl nodded and clung to him again.

“Papa?” asked the girl once they were settled back in bed, Konstantin opened his eyes.

“Yes?”

“Can I still tell you about my dream?” she asked shy

“Of course you can”

“You won’t get mad?”

“It was just a dream Irina” he said frowning

“I did it again, I keep doing it” whispered the girl with an afflicted look, Konstantin felt scared for her it was a haunted look he had seen on people that had gone through too much and no 16 year old should bear that heavy gaze.

“What?”

“My head yells: stop, but I just keep pushing the pedal”

“Oh Irina” the man sighed and passed a tired hand through his face

“Papa, I’m sorry” whispered the girl falling asleep softly against her father.

 _All was well when papa is in charge._ Thought the girl before losing the fight against sleep. 

“I know baby, I know”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :) H i g u y s

“Did you ever see your life go this way?” asked Irina with amusement clear in her voice- Villanelle was laying in the floor; a clear show of decadency as she lay there in a blanket, drinking some juice from the sprout of a Sippy cup and stretched her achy limbs in a display of relaxation.

Irina on the other side was lying on the sofa right above her also covered by a thin blanket. 

“Um… I-I guess not” she said shrugging “But it’s better than what my mind had come up for before” she confessed looking at her sippy cup with faked interest 

“What you had in mind?” asked the red hair curious

“I was going to die in some mission in the middle of the night in some foreign country pretending to be someone else”

Irina stared quietly at her for a few minutes, at last Villanelle was curious so she looked up and found the teenager looking at her still with a curious expression 

“Do you not regret what you did?” she asked

“Not most of it…” answered Villanelle shrugging and taking a long suck from her juice. It had a bit of an after taste and she was sure Eve had put some vitamins or medicine in it but overall it was good.

“How can you not regret it?” there was some indignation in the teen voice along with some confusion and even some… jealousy? 

“I don’t know” there was a shrug and she went back to drink her juice

“There’s gotta be something wrong with you then” said Irina annoyed with the girl’s simplistic attitude

“There’s lots of things wrong with me” said the girl rolling into her tummy “My mum abandoned me” she whispered laying her cheek on the carpet “…coz of all the wrong things in me” 

“She-“ Irina felt really awkward for a minute or two

“She abandoned me and never came back for me” Villanelle was telling this as if she was just talking about how dreary the weather had been that week.

“Fuck” grumbled Irina sitting up “Listen-“

“They even told me she died” grumbled the girl at last.

“Does dad knows any of this?” asked Irina looking down to the half-asleep girl.

Villanelle yawned, her medicine then, the juice had her medicine in it, that’s why she was suddenly so sleepy…

“What?”

“All the horrible things your mother did to you?!” asked the teenager scandalized

“I don’t know” she said making a face “Why should he know?” she asked confused

“Well coz-he-he picked you up” Irina spluttered and waved around “I don’t know what he did” she said at last with a confused face, Villanelle snorted 

“I don’t know, and I don’t really care about all that” said the girl starting to get a headache

“Does Eve knows?” asked the teenager this time, Villanelle looked at her confused

“I-don’t-know” she repeated slowly and annoyed.

“And you’re fine not knowing?”

“I mean I am sure they suspect… You don’t get to be as fucked up as me without a pathetic past” Villanelle was talking with a deep sense of disdain for her old life, she grabbed the corner of the blanket she was on and made it curl around her.

 _Oksana_ had no chance in life. She had born in an inhospitable place, to a woman that could barely distinguish day from night and got abused by her husband every pay-day.

She hated how terrible, confusing, cold and unstable her childhood years were. Even her orphanage memories were better than those back at home with her mother and brother. At least at the orphanage she had a resemblance to a normal life, a routine; on the contrast every day with her mother was a game of chance.

Young people often make reminiscence about the ‘golden childhood years’ in which your only concern is to play and watch Disney films but she had none of that; every fucking day was a new struggle, one more day not knowing if she was going to eat, be safe or even warm.

Whenever someone begins their charade about how childhood is the golden age of life she feels anger simmer in her stomach. Sometimes it makes her feel as if everyone had it easy except her and that makes her angry.

She still hasn’t figured to whom. She thought all her anger was at her mother but when she killed her none of her anger went away… in fact it just went deeper. Life isn’t fair.

“Are you listening to me?” asked Irina, Villanelle groaned

“No” she mumbled “I don’t want to talk about this, makes my tummy hurts” she whined, Irina frowned

“Why?”

“Well, because it reminds me just how fucked up I am”

“Must you always be so crass?” Asked the girl irked at the attitude that Villanelle always seemed to adopt when someone wanted to get to know her.

“Well you’re being annoying!” answered the blonde looking cross “I don’t want to talk about this!”

“Why not?”

“Because every fucking person I tell to turn their eyes into sad little beads and look at me as if I was a pity case and I hate it” she looked at her exasperated, with an annoyed face.

“I’m not looking at you as a pity case” spat the teenager angry “I’m actually worried about you”

“Well no one is asking you to do it!” whined Villanelle, annoyance in her eyes; she was losing her temper more and more easily but it wasn’t like before… she didn’t want to hit anyone or kill someone, she just wanted to cry, maybe throw her stuff bear and stomp her feet…actually, she wasn’t sure if it was an _improvement_.

“Fine” said Irina infuriated, standing up as quick as she could “I’m not helping you with the puzzle” she said throwing some pieces on top of the -still lying in the floor- girl

“But you said you would!” whined Villanelle; waterworks quickly turned on and she began to sniffle much to Irina’s bewilderment 

“What’s the matter?” asked Konstantin coming into the room quickly, it was time for dinner and Eve had sent him to get the girls ready for the meal.

“Irina won’t help me with the puzzle anymore” whined Villanelle sitting up and pointing towards the mess of pieces around her, she cleaned her tears with the sleeves of her jumper and looked at them from her spot in the floor “She promised!”

Konstantin was looking at her baffled.

“There’s probably half pieces missing by now” grumbled Irina rolling her eyes at the show Villanelle was giving.

“Are you two real?” asked the man laughing. Villanelle was the cutest sight sitting in the floor wearing just a big jumper and her pull up, she was surrounded by hundreds of little cardboard pieces with only a few placed in the correct slots.

Irina on the other hand was wearing the cotton shirt he had borrowed her last night. Her hair was a mess, she was wrapped in a blanket and holding her stuffed bear close to her chest.

“What?” asked the red hair offended

“This sounds like the most silly thing to fight for” he said shrugging

“Did you know?” asked Irina suddenly

“What?” sometimes talking to his own kid gave him whiplash

“I think I’m old enough to realize that you’re not a good person” Konstantin’s face darkened and he turned towards Villanelle with the intention to ask whatever they had talked about before he came into the room, but Irina carried on talking, not taking notice -or not caring- for his discomfort “did you know how Villanelle’s mum treated her?”

“Shut up Irina!” cried the blonde turning red, Konstantin gaped

“What the hell are you two on about?” he asked confused, sometimes dealing with these two was like trying to make sense of a Rubik cube while being blind color.

“Her mum used to treat her like shit!” explained Irina sitting back down in the sofa, Villanelle glared at her from her spot in the floor

“Everyone treated me like shit, that’s no news” said the blond flustered at the sudden attention “I was shit, everyone was shit and everything in life was shit back then”

Irina and Konstantin were staring at her quietly. She hated when people did that.

“I want mama” she mumbled suddenly feeling inadequate and wrong; her tummy was aching, her head was aching… she needed Eve

“Did you know?” asked Irina turning back to look at her father, Konstantin cleared his throat

“I mean I read some files…”

“Why her? Why did you picked her?” asked his daughter interrupting his explanation with this new more important -for her- questions. Villanelle was also looking at him from her spot in the floor, she didn’t seem as curious as Irina but there was a guarded expression behind her disinterested and annoyed façade; the man didn’t quite know what to make of it…

“I was working in a program that was supposed to bring us cheap and better agents by training them ourselves, it seemed innocent enough until I realized who the trainer was…”

“Dasha” supplied Villanelle from the floor, hugging her shins into her chest, she hid her face in the space made by her knees “She was one of the most horrible” was said in the void. _Eve_ her mind supplied. _I want mama._

Konstantin’s eyebrows raised surprised; he didn’t know that Villanelle had suffered _that much_ under the hand of the old bat, sure he had seen her cry a couple of times but the kid had toughened up and surprised them all becoming one of the most prolific and efficient agents in _decades._

He decided to continue his story and hear what else Villanelle had to add, he instinctively knew that if he stopped his story and began to interrogate her she would close herself and raise her defenses or throw a tantrum.

Probably both...

Surely both.

So he continued with a faraway look in his face that spoke of little glory and much troubles.

“She-Dasha- had no shame in boosting her former glory, she was a killer and spy” the man walked into the room and sat next to Irina “I was to get young women who were prone to violence, had no family left and were young enough to be trained and molded as we needed”

He cleared his throat and seemed uncomfortable

“I-at the beginning I thought I was just getting normal recruits but the requisites were pretty clear… they wanted girls who could kill”

“Villanelle gathered all the requisites” supplied Irina surprised at The Twelve’s cunning

“Actually she didn’t” admitted Konstantin

“What?” asked two voices at the same time, the man winced and figured out how to put into words the next part of the story

“I was supposed to get girls that had no family left but there was something very odd in Villanelle’s file… she was listed as an orphan but only the mother and a brother were marked as deceased, however there was no father listed on any contact sheet” explained the man, Irina turned to Villanelle who seemed as confused as her, so Irina assumed immediately that _there was_ a father.

“So the orphanage was lying?” asked Villanelle softly “But why?”

“I don’t know, the orphanage was in the middle of rural Russia. I wasn’t going in an adventure at that point. I just gathered you were someone’s bastard and no one was going to claim you even if you showed up in the news; after all you had been in the system for too long”

“And why did you let that go?” asked the teenager suddenly “it sounds like something really important, not having lose ends and all that”

“I already told you why”

“No papa!”

Konstantin stood up

“Come on, I came to get you two for dinner”

“Tell me more!” whined Irina frowning, Villanelle was looking at him with a blank expression

He sighed

“If you both can get trousers on so we can have dinner I will be very much delighted”

“Papa!” Irina whined annoyed

“Irina I can’t go around just telling stories this is classified stuff… I-“

“What’s going on? Aren’t you hungry?” Eve was coming from down the hallway “I sent you to get them hours ago” she said this noticing that both girls we’re still out of trousers.

“Dad was telling us about when he picked Villanelle up”

“You say that like she was a stray” said Eve a little offended 

“I _was_ a stray” said Villanelle from the floor

“Don’t call yourself that” said Konstantin serious, he came close and offered a hand, the girl took it “You’re not a stray, you belong. You have always belonged somewhere but people have failed you”

“Can we have dinner now?” asked Villanelle feeling her throat awfully constricted.

Eve extended her arm and pulled her to her side

“Once you’ve put on pants we can”

“Awww”

* * *

The noise was soft and Konstantin –still awake- stood up as quick as he could to open the door.

“Are you alright?” he asked immediately. On the other side Villanelle was standing there, looking like a lost creature of the night “Are you feeling sick?” he asked worried.

The girl bit her lip and shook her head, then took a deep breath 

“Why did you do it?” she asked, Konstantin stared at her. _Whiplash I tell you._

“I know you are not delirious… but I do not know what you are talking about” he said. He turned to look at the clock, it was shy of midnight. He groaned “Whatever _this_ is, really couldn’t wait until morning?” 

“I’m talking about choosing me over Nadia… why did you do it?” she asked a little impatient, the man stayed quiet and froze. “You said you read my file…and lets be honest there was a slim chance of someone saying ‘that’s my kid’ even if 10 years had gone by”

Konstantin stared at her quiet.

“Specially someone with such a big head like mine” joked Villanelle in a self-depreciating manner

“Your eyes” he said suddenly. He seemed a little embarrassed by the admission so Villanelle assumed immediately that he was being honest. There was nothing that made Konstantin more uncomfortable than the truth. 

“What?” she asked trying to make sense of his words

“When you told me you would do what Nadia could but better you had a look in your eyes that reminded me of my own little girl back at home…when she was still more cute than annoying”

“I-I looked like Irina?”

“Well, in all fairness _she_ looked like _you”_ Konstantin smiled warmly at her, then cleared his throat “it was just a fleeting glance; the second when you said you could _just do it better…_ maybe it was just my imagination, I do not know” the man took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders in a defeated gesture before continuing his reminiscence “I wasn’t supposed to take you, I knew you would bring me nothing more than troubles. I knew it because in that fleeting second you looked just like my little Irina throwing a tantrum and I just _had_ to give you the chance you were asking for”

“That’s it?” asked the girl puffing out her cheeks

“That’s it”

Villanelle sighed and rubbed a fist over her left eye “why are you up?” asked the man with a kindness that had the girl squirming uncomfortable. She wasn’t used to be looked after so closely. 

“I-I just couldn’t sleep”

Villanelle looked down to the floor then back to Konstantin “Thank you”; Konstantin frowned lost again in the conversation so the girl clarified with a whisper “…for picking me”

The man snorted

“I don’t think I did you any favor”

“Well, I’m here… “

“Maybe you could be somewhere better” mussed Konstantin with a dreamy look, Villanelle snorted

“I doubt it. I had not a penny to my name”

“You would’ve managed” said the man smiling. A yawn broke his musings “I’m guessing you want to sleep here?” he asked casually and no longer hiding his amusement, the girl nodded quickly and he sighed still with a smile in his face “It’ll be a tight fit” he said walking back into the room finding a couple of green eyes glaring at him from bed.

“No papa!” she whined the second Villanelle walked into the room.

The blond froze on the door and winced

“Sorry I-I didn’t know” she said immediately feeling awkward and rejected

“Don’t. I love you both and it makes me very sad not to see you get alone” he confessed. Both girls looked at each other quietly “Let’s just sleep, please” pleaded the man softly, Irina was the first to cave, sighing and turning herself into a little ball, looking towards the wall

“Don’t hog the covers” she mumbled.

Konstantin grinned and slid into the middle of the bed, then opened the covers and waited patiently for Villanelle to slide into, making made sure the girl was well tucked in.

“Did you see your life going this way?” asked Villanelle in a very soft voice, Konstantin snorted

“It’s better than I had in mind” he confessed.

Villanelle agreed wholeheartedly.

* * *

“What are you doing?” asked Eve’s head suddenly popping into the room. Villanelle startled and some water sloshed by the side. She winced and hoped the woman hadn’t noticed.

“I’m taking a bath” she explained quickly although… it was pretty obvious.

“Umm…could you-could you please let me know when you do something like that?” asked Eve a little awkwardly in the doorframe, Villanelle turned to look at her confused 

“Something _like what_?”

“…Adult like?” said Eve a little confused

“Oh…sure” mumbled the girl suddenly red in the cheeks, she was just taking a bath for god’s sakes!

“Thank you”, the woman released a breath she didn’t know she was holding and walked into the bathroom. The sooner she was inside she began to pick Villanelle’s clothes from the floor, the girl rolled her eyes

“Don’t do that” 

“I’m just helping, relax” said Eve smiling amused “I like taking care of you”

“Do you find it weird?” asked the girl earnestly wanting to know the answer

“No; I don’t try to find the weird in something I enjoy. I just enjoy it”

Villanelle couldn’t hide her smile. Her cheeks even hurt from trying.

Eve returned the smile

“Don’t get into baths without telling me please, you could hurt yourself and I wouldn’t even know where to look for you” chided Eve softly with a much more ‘maternal’ tone, this time the girl just sighed and nodded remorsefully

“The lotion makes my skin feel all sticky I hate it” whined the girl “I’m used to lotions and creams of the best quality not this… this sticky-slime-troll drool thing”

Eve laughed out loud

“I can’t believe that’s your main concern in all this”

“I miss the clothes too” was the mumbled confession

“Unbelievable” laughed Eve

“Well, this whole thing has been a bit hard” said the girl

“I know, we’ve all been through a bit too much” conceded the former MI6 agent, she came close to her and touched her forehead in a very motherly gesture. Villanelle felt something twist in her stomach.

“How you’ve been feeling?” she asked “A part from the clammy skin any more complains?”

“Fine” said Villanelle in a very soft voice, quickly

“I do have more medication I can give you if you’re not feeling well”

“I’m fine” mumbled the girl shaking her head

“If you don’t tell me what hurts I can’t actually help you” said Eve gently reprimanding her, Villanelle bit her lip softly

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“Mama my tummy aches” whined the little blond, knees shaking. Tatiana took a deep breath and looked down to the girl._

_The poor thing looked malnourished, dirty and sad, the clothing she was wearing fitted the poor child ill. She appeared to be wearing a pillowcase._

_“What hurts?” she asked in an empty voice coming close with her cigarette proudly raised in the air_

_“My tummy, can I have some food?” asked the girl with her big hazel eyes. She looked so much like her mother. The boy too. They looked a lot like her mother._

_“Sure, let’s go get some food” said the woman in a very strange voice walking towards her bag and making a show of grabbing the keys_

_“There’s no food here?” asked the girl looking around sad_

_“There’s nothing in this fucking place” said the woman with an icy tone._

_The little girl felt a shiver run down her spine and suddenly the emptiness in her belly filled with a chilling fear._

_“Oh” she said softly looking down trying to get away but trying to look calm. If she looked frightened her mother would notice._

_All the alarms in her brain went up. Mummy was mad. Mummy was getting mad._

_“Come on, we’ll just take a walk to a friend’s house and we’ll ask for food” said the woman. The girl cocked her head to the side…that was something that they usually did. They did it so much that some people had stopped talking to mummy._

_Maybe they would go with the nice woman that sometimes turned the radio on while she allowed her mother to help her and clean for her. She sometimes would give her mother some dry bread that mama warmed up and made taste better again._

_“My head itches again mummy” mumbled the kid scratching as her mother grabbed her brother_

_“WILL YOU FUCKING STOP WHINING A FUCKING SECOND!” yelled the woman suddenly._

_Poor baby boy began to cry frightened and Oksana almost lost control of her bladder._

_“Sorry mama.” said the girl quickly. But it was too late. It was always too late._

_+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

“I’m fine” she said again shrugging “Everything’s fine, I’ll be out in a minute” she continued.

She just wanted to take the gross sensation off her skin even if 20 minutes later she would find her way back to the sticky lotion and put it on her skin to ease the itch and burn.

Eve sighed and nodded reluctantly

“I’ll take this to the laundry room” she said glancing down to the dirty clothes. She nodded grateful

“Thanks” she mumbled as an afterthought, watching the woman leave.

She took a deep breath, then another.

Eve wasn’t like her mother.

Eve was _nothing_ like her mother.

Another deep breath. She needed to get her shit together. She was overreacting and this whole thing added to the flashbacks of her childhood. She didn’t need those to add pain to the general discomfort this stupid disease seemed intent to inflict upon her.

She stood up in a second, intending to grab the towel and leave the room quickly but her body had other ideas. The moment she stood up the whole room went sideways and her vision went black.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right… since everyone in this fic seems to speak Spanish, I'm just gonna put those dialogues on italics. Ao3 should allow to put references, it's a drag when someone wants to be cool and put another language coz you have to put the translation somewhere.   
> Anyway this took hours to edit because I had six extra pages in this chapter and I didn’t even notice so when I was moving it, it just seemed so long it overwhelmed me… then my mum-well, the thing is this chapter, here, today, right now, it’s a miracle. Sorry if I made any mistakes.

The first thing that Villanelle was conscious of was the pain: head splitting, blinding and non-stopping pain. She groaned and the sound reverberated all over her head which made her shut up fast. 

“You awake” said Irina’s voice all the sudden and a pair of hands grabbed at her shoulders “You awake?” asked the voice this time. Villanelle opened just one eye, the effort was monumental.

“You need to get up!” said Irina with an urgency that she had rarely –if ever- heard in her before. Slowly but surely sensation in other parts of her body came to her and she realized she was sprawled in the floor quite uncomfortably. She groaned again, she couldn’t even open her other eye, it was simply too much of an effort.

Irina didn’t seem to mind or care whatever she was going through, because she began a dramatic tirade that had her blinking confused.

“Someone broke in, someone has papa and mama” said the teen urgently, a sob breaking her words

“What?” Villanelle knew that whatever Irina had just said was important, but for the life of her she couldn’t make the right connections her brain wasn’t handling information right now. Her words were slurred and she realized that what she was feeling wasn’t her –chicken pox induced- dizziness and headaches, she was feeling the after-effects of being unconscious unwillingly.

She began to move to sit upright and Irina helped her quickly, she winced the second she was sitting up because everything was blurry and seemed to be moving in slow motion; it was a sensation she would hardly forget.

“They really got you hard” said the teenager grimacing looking at the blood dripping down Villanelle’s right hear.

“What?” she tried again, this time at least both of her eyes were open. She hoped next time Irina spoke something made sense because she was seriously freaking out… maybe she had brain damage.

“They hit you. In the head” explained the teenager “I’m pretty sure you have a concussion”

_Oh…_

“You can’t know what a concussion is… you’re like five years old” spat the Russian snorting

“Shut up” whined Irina with tears still falling from her red eyes

“Where are we?” asked the blond trying to see clearly but her eyes weren’t cooperating much, there wasn’t much light coming into the small space anyway.

“It’s the broom closet, in the kitchen” explained the teen “But the door is bolted, god knows with that” she said pushing all her weight against the door and sliding down until her toes were pressed against Villanelle’s.

“What happened?” asked Villanelle realizing for a frightening moment that she had no recollection of getting hurt or being dragged into the closet. It was quite a novelty for her.

“Some men came in… 4 at most” began the girl “I was with Papa in his office, he was teaching me to play poker when two men came in, he-he told me I had to be good and behave” her voice began to tremble “One of the guys brought me here-”

“Where was I?” asked Villanelle trying to touch around her head and figure out where she was hurt. It ended up being a bump in her left temple that had a swollen cut. It wasn’t bleeding anymore but it hurt like a bitch.

“I’m assuming you were taking a bath… since your hair is damp and all that” mussed Irina twitching her hands nervously

“Well this hurts like a bitch. Maybe they think I’m dead” she said touching her wound. She hissed in pain.

“That’s… they dragged you here, they know you’re alive” Irina shook her head and bit her lip, she squirmed uncomfortable, she needed to pee for a while now…

“Eve and Konstantin?” asked the blond

“I dunno”

“Heard any shots?” she asked frowning

“Not so far”

“Hear a ring?”

“What?” asked Irina confused

“Something is buzzing in the air isn’t it?” asked Villanelle confused touching her wounded hear

“No… there’s no buzzing” said Irina “I’m scared” she added after a few seconds in a whisper

“Did you see their faces?” Villanelle ignored Irina’s scared mumble. SHE couldn’t deal with that right now, she didn’t even _know_ how, all she knew is they had to move. Her training for many years told her she needed to get them out of there.

“No… they are wearing masks”

“We need to get out of here” said Villanelle with conviction, Irina hid her face on her knees

“We’re going to die, we’re finally going to die”

“Listen I can’t hear right, I can’t see right but I really need you to get it together” said Villanelle gulping scared

“What the fuck are you talking about Villanelle?” asked Irina in a fright “You’re wearing ducky printed pajamas and a pull up and I’m-we’re not even wearing shoes!” she said getting agitated “I feel like I’m going to pee myself” she confessed, Villanelle stared at her.

“But we can’t just stay here!”

“I know we can’t but I’m just so scared” said Irina crying for real this time “I’m even shaking!” she extended her arm so the assassin could see but she didn’t seem impressed

“Yeah I know. I’m scared too” whispered Villanelle back “But we can’t let Mama and Papa alone” she said, Irina tried to control her panic

“I’m sorry I-I don’t…”

“Hey, just calm down” said Villanelle grabbing the girl’s hand into hers “We-we just need a plan and maybe we-“

“Shut up, don’t talk about stupid plans” said Irina angry, Villanelle flinched “I can’t put my shit together and you’re hurt!” said the girl, the blond rolled her eyes

“How hard have you tried pushing the door?”

“Well… not so hard because you were asleep so I had no plans to go anywhere until you woke up” confessed the girl

“Right…and you’re sure you’ve heard nothing?” asked the Russian in a whisper, Irina glared, tears spilling again

“This is too fucking much!”

“I know” said the blond turning to look at the door again “Are they armed?”

“Yeah, one of them has a gun and one guy has this huge knife” whined the girl

“Maybe if-”

“Will you fucking stop it!” whined Irina breaking down in sobs, Villanelle winced and came close

“I think I have a concussion” confessed the blond leaning into Irina’s bony shoulder.

The teenager whimpered again, snot running down of her nose making Villanelle laugh “You’re gross” 

“It’s your fault for being so stupid!” whined Irina while cleaning her face with her shirt

“We gotta be brave Irina”

“I don’t want to be brave” said the girl with her face hidden in her crossed arms 

“We don’t have a choice” shrugged the assassin

“That’s not true”

“Well… you have to be brave because Konstantin and Eve are in trouble and-and we need a plan to save Eve from Konstantin” reasoned the Russian still a little dizzy and slurring a few words

“Villanelle… what you’re saying makes no sense” said Irina squeezing her hand in a comforting manner, there was a pout then a sigh

“Oh”

“It’s alright, we’re gonna be fine” mumbled the teenager trying to reassure the Russian; she could see the girl was trying hard to channel her inner assassin but she was too hurt and vulnerable to be able to engage in such way

“I’m sorry, I’m not being to useful right now”

Another hand squeeze “You don’t have to be useful, it’s fine” said Irina with a small smile “We’ll be fine” she repeated, more to her benefit than anyone else’s. 

* * *

“What did you do?” asked Eve to Konstantin

“Listen-” began Konstantin, the woman rolled her eyes

“You just can’t fucking help yourself can you?” her tone of voice made clear that it mattered little what he was to say, he was to blame.

Both adults were tied back to back in the middle of the living room, sitting on the carpet. Eve shifted and felt the rope burn her wrists.

“I swear to God Konstantin if I wasn’t tied down-“

They could hear heavy boots walk outside the room, there was some muttering in Spanish.

Eve promised herself if she ever got out of there alive she would learn the language. Maybe ask Irina to help her, bond with the girl and all that…This really wasn’t about her, it was about the girls.

“This is the most stupid thing _ever_. What the fuck did you do this time?” she asked fuming “ _Who_ the fuck did you play this time?” she was relentless in her anger and questioning, Konstantin threw his head back and almost hit her.

“I am trying to tell you I don’t know what this is about!” yelled the man angry.

“What?” she barked a sarcastic laugh “Surely you do-“

“I don’t know what’s going on” rushed Konstantin truly desperate “I don’t know who these people are or what they want” he whispered harshly, angry too.

“Just two days ago you said you had a very important meeting don’t come fucking around now telling me you went to buy cigs or something” called back Eve with heavy sarcasm lacing her words 

“I am telling the truth” said Konstantin morosely. Eve sighed

“I’m going to die in the middle of some island because you couldn’t stop playing games”

“Eve…”

“Where is Irina?” asked the woman before he could continue his explanations. He sighed a little hurt of the fact that no one was going to believe him 

“She was with me when they came in, I think they locked her in one of the supply closets” he said shrugging “Where is Villanelle?”

“She’s hurt” explained Eve with impatience, squirming again in the tight ropes. Konstantin twisted to his side trying to look at the woman

“What?” he asked “What happened? You should’ve started with that!” he growled starting to twist on his binds too

“I went to get her for dinner and she was having a bath… I picked her clothes off the floor and took them to the laundry room, Mr. Big Rifle and the one in red found me there me and took me back to the bedroom but when one of them checked the bathroom he called for me and made me get in… Villanelle had slipped or something, she had a head wound and I’m sure the guy didn’t do it”

“Was she even conscious?” asked Konstantin instantly worried, head wounds were terribly dangerous

“There was blood and she was naked, I just rinsed her head and dressed her in her pajamas, the guy dragged her away… I hope she’s with Irina, she must have slipped or something”

“Was she conscious?” asked Konstantin again, Eve shook her head “Too much blood?”

“No… no it was just a cut on her temple” she said “But she definitely hit her head hard”

Two of the men walked into the room, both were sweaty with exertion, they seemed twitchy and even with the masks on you could tell they were young. Probably no more than 30

One of them was tall and extremely lanky but he was carrying a very old but scary and functional-looking rifle in one hand so his complexion wasn’t really of importance here. Eve had called him “Mr. Big Rifle” in her head.

The other one was shorter and a little more bulky, his face mask was red instead of black –like the others-he stayed by the door quiet but looking around, he seemed quite on edge.

“The money” said the rifle man with a heavily accented English “We want money”

“Wait…” said Eve suddenly, her eyebrows reaching her hairline “Is this a fucking robbery?” she asked surprised, almost letting out a bark of laughter 

The man didn’t seem at all amused, he seemed rather angry.

“Crazy bitch!” said the man pointing the gun at her “You crazy, give me money” he yelled. It was clear English wasn’t his strong suit.

“I think it is” said Konstantin just as surprised as Eve but being a little more serious about it.

“This is just our fucking luck” spat Eve annoyed

“Well it’s a third world country… what did you expected?” asked Konstantin annoyed

“SHUT UP! MONEY!” yelled the man pointing the gun at him in a second. He didn’t seem terribly professional but he definitely seemed nervous and that made him ten times more dangerous. Konstantin felt his heart constrict a little, his heart was too frail for this stress. 

“Money. Office” he said moving his head towards the room where he kept a reasonable stash of American money in case something happened, that would do to get these goons out of there.

“Office” repeated the man grinning in delight coming close to ‘help’ him up. He raised him harshly by his bad shoulder which had him wincing in pain, then he was pushed just as hard towards the hallway

“Tell him to take me to the girls, remind him about Villanelle!” said Eve suddenly

Konstantin began to speak in fluid Spanish and the armed man seemed surprised for a second. He heard what Konstantin was saying and glared at him, then he began to yell.

Eve guessed -by the tone- he was just cursing and cursing. 

Konstantin answered in a much more subdued attitude and the man took a big breath and nodded at last.

“He says you can go with the girls, I’ll go with them” he said “His friends will accompany you” he nodded towards the door.

Eve looked where the two guys were. One was carrying a machete instead of a gun and the other one had a regular handgun the kind Konstantin kept in his car, they also looked young and on edge at the whole situation, she hated amateurs.

“Be safe, just get this assholes out of here” said the woman with a snappish tone, the man nodded.

* * *

Back at the closet things didn’t seem to be improving, in fact they seemed to be going worse.

“I’m sorry” mumbled Villanelle feeling embarrassed and gross.

“Its fine” said Irina quickly scooting aside to avoid touching Villanelle’s sick puddle, the blond squirmed and also moved away from the vomit. The smell was something Irina was trying very hard to ignore.

“I’m just dizzy” she whined cleaning her mouth with the back of her hand

“Is fine” said Irina again, this time with a serious tone, she didn’t feel like talking anymore or she was going to be sick too, besides her belly was hurting from holding her bladder too long and she was still scared out of her mind. Every possible bad scenario had already played in her mind while Villanelle vomited her guts out.

Suddenly there was noise beyond the door, they heard some voices and then the door was being opened. Irina grabbed onto Villanelle’s hand by instinct and the girl laced their fingers together.

“Listen, just be quiet” said Villanelle taking a deep breath and puffing out her chest trying not to look so pitiful but knowing full well that she was failing miserably. She probably looked like a half drown kitten.

When the door opened it took a minute for both to realize that Eve was standing there, as innocuous and inconspicuous as always.

“Mama” blurted Villanelle in surprise, Irina looked at her too with surprise.

They were both in a corner while the other one was occupied by a pretty big puddle of vomit. 

“You’re awake” said Eve immediately kneeling in front of the girls and touching Villanelle’s cheek while also touching Irina’s head “You’re fine” said the woman 

“What’s going on?” asked Irina letting all the fear she felt reflect in her face, especially after noticing the man that was behind Eve.

“They’re robbing us” said Eve rolling her eyes annoyed, as if telling her they had moved the hour on her movie tickets.

“Seriously?” asked Irina; the woman nodded and grabbed at Villanelle’s hands, pulling her close. 

“Come here, what happened?” she asked worried, checking the tender wound that was in the bond’s left temple

“What?” asked then girl confused

“I went back to get you at the bathroom and you were in the floor bleeding” she explained parting the damp hair and checking over the wound “Oh for God’s sakes, look at you”

While Eve fussed all over her, Villanelle glanced at the man behind and studied at him as she was taught to do by Dasha: she noticed his height, weight, size and everything that could tell her how he was going to fight if she decided to do something against him. She sat up a little straight and motivated, this two were a joke just some street rats looking for easy money.

Except Eve had a look, a look she had seen many times before and it meant bussines.

“Don’t” said the woman serious, a hand still in her cheek “You’re hurt, behave” Villanelle pouted and looked away.

Irina squirmed a little close to Eve when the man began to speak in quick Spanish, then she leaned in shyly

“He says we hafto go” she whispered. Eve nodded and helped them both up.

“Alright?” she asked softly, Villanelle shrugged not committing to saying a lie but not telling the truth either, “I’m scared” admitted Irina in a mumble; Eve tried to smile reassuringly but ended up being more of a grimace, she really hoped that whatever money Konstantin had upstairs was enough to send this four clowns away.

“Irina, could you please tell him I need to grab Villanelle’s medicine and some water please", Irina paled but translated quickly; avoiding the man’s gaze while Villanelle made herself small against Eve. 

For once the age difference helped to sell the story besides Villanelle looked a mess; her shirt was backwards, she was all sick looking, damp and there was blood in her temple. She certainly didn’t look like an international assassin.

The man nodded, hesitant and confused about what to do but not _mean_ enough to deny the woman’s request, Eve made a show of opening some drawers, grabbing some medicine, filling a water bottle and in a second -in which Villanelle made a pitiful attempt to vomit again which had the men scrambling back- she grabbed a kitchen knife and hid it up her sleeve.

One of the guys finally turned to look at her and yelled something which made her hurry back to the girls. All five followed the shouting and grunting that seem to come from Konsantin’s office.

* * *

All hope Eve had of having these idiots go away vanished the second she heard the shouting and Konstantin’s angry curses in Spanish.

The three women and the two extra thieves walked in on a fearful scene: the short guy –the one with the red mask- was holding Konstantin at gun point, he was literally shaking while the one with the big rifle was hitting the Russian’s previously wounded temple that began to bleed profusely 

“Papa!” yelled Irina trying to reach him immediately; Eve grabbed the girl –as quick as she could- to hold her back but she had the element of surprise which was enough to get her close to her father.

The man with the gun was not amused by the Irina’s performance and grabbed her by the back of her neck with force; he pushed his gun to rest on his back and once his hand was free he slapped Irina hard on her cheek.

“STOP!” yelled Konstantin. Eve was being held against a machete and Villanelle was looking down to the floor, her arm in the weak grip of the last men.

The man didn’t’ seem particularly interested on tormenting the child, so he released her after slapping her and watched in amusement as Irina fell to her knees and began to whimper scared. Eve squirmed away from the machete man who made no attempt to held her back and simply watched as she reached the scared kid in the floor and hugged her into her chest.

“ _Stop”_ Said Konstantin in Spanish “ _This is all the money we have”_

_“We know it’s all the money you have, it’s a lot of fucking money you stupid old man now we need to know who the fuck are you and how can we get **more** money” _

_“There’s no more money, that’s all the money”_ Konstantin was sweating. His heart felt faint. What was he doing here? His brow felt hot and uncomfortable from the blood.

He looked towards Irina who was in the floor being held by Eve, she was crying now and the former agent was cradling her cheek softly

 _“Let my girls go, just let them go”_ he said, a little desperation crawling into his voice, Eve didn’t like the sound of that

“ _Listen you stupid piece of shit. You don’t tell me what to do!”_ the man yelled in Konstantin face

“ _Maybe he’s one of those… politics with their rich families”_ said one of the men “ _We could call in for ransom”_ he said giddy

“ _That never fucking works, this is not a movie let’s just fucking go with this”_ said the shortest of them all “ _it’s already more than enough for the four of us”_

“ _I have already told you, I’m retired me and my wife”_ grumbled Konstantin, his breathing was growing laborious _“We won’t call the cops if you just go now, listen to your friend, take the money and leave”_

“ _Shut the fuck up bitch”_ yelled the man and gave a hard kick to Konstantin’s leg.

“Papa!” yelled Irina from her spot in the floor; this time Eve had her held by the waist but still the child tried to squirm away

 _“_ STOP! _”_ yelled Konstantin angry at her, Irina began to cry desperate now hiding in Eve’s chest. The woman held her in silence and rubbed her back softly.

 _“_ You need to calm down” whispered Eve to the crying girl “You can make this people lose control if you keep this up” explained the woman just as terrified as the child but trying very hard to act calm.

Irina heard the words and cursed a thousand times in her head. _OF COURSE_ she was trying to be calm! This wasn’t so simple, if it were she would be doing it, her brain wasn’t cooperating it wasn’t listening to her. She wanted her papa, only he could make everything right in this moment and she needed to get to him but it didn’t seem like he wanted her back. He had yelled at her and she was so very scared… 

Eve had said something about being calm, if only it was so simple. Her breathing was growing faster and faster, she was getting desperate. She felt like running and turning into a tight little ball at the same time. She felt like hitting her head on the floor but at the same time she just wanted a cuddle under a blanket.

“I can’t” she whimpered crying and shaking, she had never felt so full of conflicting and overpowering emotions.

Eve hushed her and rubbed her back softly. It would be silly to think something so simple could feel like so much but just a second ago she was sure to be having a heart attack but Eve with her three little circles in her back was making her feel warm all over; her muscles stopped feeling so tight and she felt immediately soothed.

“It’s all right honey, I’m here, mama’s here” mumbled Eve softly into her hear. Irina released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

“ _If we call the authorities and we tell them we have them, maybe they’ll give us more money”_ said one of the men walking near Irina and Eve “ _Maybe they’ll ask us not to harm them”_ he knelt in front of them

“What the fuck is he saying?” asked Eve softly, trying not to show the man that she was terrified out of her skin. Irina whimpered and hid under the woman’s wild curls.

“Umm… they-they think we-we’re important. They seem to think we can be exchanged for more money” said the girl with tears still dripping out of her eyes; there was a huge bruise forming on her left cheek

“Villanelle you need to tell them we’re absolutely fucking no one” said Eve turning to the girl who was still standing behind her.

Truth be told is that the blond looked like the perfect picture of innocence, hands on the hem of her shirt, feet bare and messy look. Villanelle gulped because as much as she wanted to pretend this was an act…she could barely see straight, everything was still blurry and she was pretty sure one of her ears was not working at all. These men didn’t seem particularly empathic… but she really needed to win their pity, so she laid it out thick, tears coming to her eyes uninhibited.

“ _Mr. My-my mum wants me to tell you we’re not important people that money it’s all of our parents savings, we really are not important people”_ she said quickly going with the theme of scared family.

The man that was kneeling near Eve and Irina stood up and came close to the blond

“ _What the fuck happened to you?”_ he asked laughing, his friends joined. Villanelle looked away trying not to make a face to the man and blow the whole thing away “ _I asked you something princess”_ said the man grabbing her cheek with bony hard fingers and forcing her to look his way; she winced.

“ _Chickenpox”_ she grumbled. The man pulled back immediately and for a couple of seconds she was scared the man had noticed her disdain but instead he was wiping his hand against his jeans in an exaggerated gesture.

“ _Fucking shit, I’ve never had chickenpox”_ he yelled; the other men laughed and Villanelle rolled her eyes although in the inside she felt a little bit of satisfaction.

“ _Come on let’s leave them here, I’m feeling sick”_ the shortest guy who of them all seemed to be the most reluctant to be there.

“ _I say this bitches are worth way more money and we could be rich, we wouldn’t have to work another day in our life!”_ said the one with the rifle, he had a big grin and was waving his hands around trying to motivate his friends to continue their stay in the house

 _“_ S’not working” mumbled Irina growing more and more scared. Eve began to pat her butt and she still had the decency to blush embarrassed at the childish gesture. It felt nice though.

“ _What say you Pichi, should we try to milk this cows bit more?”_ asked the man with the big rifle to the one with the machete

“ _Sure”_ said the man shrugging

“Would you fucking say anything?” said Eve to Konstantin desperate too, the man spat blood

“I’ve said-“

“ _Shut the fuck up”_ yelled the man “ _Take the bitches to the living room, I’ll stay here with this fat pig”_

 _“_ No, papa!” Irina began to shriek as soon as she heard what the man had ordered and began to fight against Eve’s hold “Irina behave!” he yelled, but the girl was really getting into hysterics.

Konstantin was everything she had left. Why no one was getting this? Her mother didn’t love her anymore and the only one that was always there no matter what was her father.

The man walked near them and took a deep breath “ _SHUT THE FUCK UP!” he_ yelled to Irina’s face, Eve had little to not time to react; in a second her hidden knife was right in the man’s left eye socket.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I'm sorry I'm late, is just... I was sooo cold last night so I made me some tea and I fell asleep while editing xD   
> I hope You have a very magical week and mostly that you're all healthy and warm :3   
> I'll read you :)

_Many_ things happened at once.

First; Irina began to yell scared, after all someone had just been stabbed in front of her. First Villanelle’s sexually abusive teacher kills herself right in front of her, then Eve stabs a man in the eye just 10 inches away from her; living those kind of things tend to show after a while.

Everyone seemed confused and startled for just enough time for Villanelle to hit the man that was by her side with her elbow using all the strength she could muster by throwing her weight back.

The name of the man Villanelle had just hit was Felipe; he was there because his granny needed a knee operation, he had worked the last two days as gardener -it was a nice job- the pay was shit… but _everywhere_ the pay was shit. It was just last night that Roberto came by to Pichi’s house and said they could make easy money, just before last night he had never held a gun before, it wasn’t even loaded; it was just to scare a bunch of Americans and take their money.

The pain he felt in his nose after the girl rammed his elbow in was something he _never_ wanted to repeat. This whole thing was just wrong, he fell to the floor groaning and crawled out of the room as fast as he could, if he was lucky he could make it to dinner at his granny’s house.

Roberto –previously known as Mr. Rifle- now had a sharp kitchen knife logged in his face, he had dropped his gun and was screaming his head off, batting his hands wishing to tear the knife away but at the same time trying not to move it and ignore the staggering pain.

As Villanelle and everyone else suspected these guys were not remotely prepared to be in the crime business.

Roberto was a week shy from turning 30, he was usually employed as a gardener in this very same house but the last owners had sold the place and sent him home, the new fat man that came didn’t want to hire him because he had young daughters. The moment he saw the whole family from afar he knew the opportunity was too good to pass; besides his cousin Pichi had a few guns from his ‘guerrillero’ times so it would be like a pretend game.

He knew the house fairly well –despite only been inside a handful of times- and he knew where most of the outside cameras were so all he had to do was convince his brother Marco and his cousin Pichi. That turned out to be easier than he thought when Felipe told them about his fucking granny’s knee operation. He had arrived late one night and found the guys and some other guy –who he would later know as Felipe- drinking at Pichi’s house and the poor dude told his story with tears and all. It was perfect, they were in.

They were into the plan like the knife that was now in his eye socket. The pain had been blinding –pun not intended- he had felt something like a sharp burn that spread all over his head; it had been the most horrible thing, it almost made him wish he was dead but he wasn’t; instead he was flapping around feeling hot, sticky blood run down his face.

Konstantin knew well he was old; his shoulder was a mess since his army days and he really should start to eat better, but despite all these things he still had fight in him, besides Irina was panic-stricken and that made him act on pure instinct and a good dose of adrenaline. He honestly had never seen his girl so scared; just like Villanelle had done it he threw his weight back, making the man that was watching over him trip and drop his gun losing a shot that went straight to the wall, making a small hole in the plaster. The poor guy yelped and fell to the floor in his ass turning white as a ghost in a second, he didn’t know the gun was loaded, Roberto said he had checked them. 

The second the gun was in the floor Villanelle was on top of it immediately, picking it up and pointing towards the men behind Konstantin. The short guy –Marco- stopped in his tracks and raised his hands slowly, looking towards the gun he had dropped in his haste to help his bleeding and recently stabbed brother.

Marco knew this was a bad idea, he just knew… _stupid Felipe and his abuelita._

Konstantin began tu curse in Russian; his face was all stained with blood and he could barely see from the mess. He quickly fetched a handkerchief out of his back pocket and cleaned his eyes as best as he could

Villanelle stayed frozen aiming the gun “You ok?” she asked to Konstantin while keeping her arm as straight as possible, making clear _she knows_ how to use the gun, despite her appearance and exertion

Pichi _owned_ the guns… but that didn’t mean he _knew_ how to use them; they had been a gift from his grandfather… so what if he liked to pretend he had been there too? And who the fuck were these people anyway? Roberto was right in the end… _they were someone alright._

“We have to kill them” she said still dizzy and getting weaker by the minute

A few seconds of silence passed, Eve released Irina who was still squirming softly trying to reach her father, the girl scrambled towards Konstantin who quickly scooped her into her arms and hugged her. Irina was cold to the touch, she was crying hard and her breathing was fast. In that same moment, Eve managed to stood up and came close to Villanelle.

“Don’t” she said softly, taking the gun from the weak grasp.

The girl huffed exhausted and her shoulders dropped “Can I lay down?” she asked immediately, Eve awed at her and led her to the small sofa that the room had for decoration, the girl curled into a little ball and lodged her thumb into her mouth softly self soothing. 

The guy that had been holding Villanelle was nowhere to be seen, Roberto was bleeding out slowly and painfully –by the look of it- in the floor and his other friend and brother were cowering behind Konstantin sitting in the floor with their hands raised.

“These guys need to get this fucker to a doctor if they want him to live” said Eve nodding towards the bleeding whimpering man that was shaking and holding the knife in his right hand. He was turning paler by the second

“Shit… ” said the Russian trying not to panic, Irina was hiding on his neck, refusing move. 

“We have to kill them” said Villanelle weakly from her spot in the sofa.

Eve turned to look at Konstantin, the man nodded somberly glancing down towards the frightened girl

“Alright, take the girls to the kitchen please” instructed the woman serious. Konstantin looked at her but there was no real communication in between them; they still didn’t know each other that well, both just _knew_ they had to keep themselves safe and there was no limit to keeping _their_ girls safe.

* * *

Giving into your emotions is not something that Irina or Villanelle do often; both had been taught to be strong, stoic and even detached from whatever was happening around them but living the way they had for the past week had connected them a little bit more to their emotions but so far it didn’t seem to be something they were enjoying, after all connecting yourself after so long can end up in a few overflows of emotions.

Irina was sitting on a kitchen stool sipping on a cup of tea her father insisted on her having. Her pajama bottoms were clinging to her legs uncomfortably and it was a bit itchy but her father was tending to Villanelle who was actually bleeding and not just wet and gross like she was.

She didn’t even want to mention it, she secretly hoped her father hadn’t noticed, maybe she could dry and pretend that nothing happened. She noticed her tea was shaking… well her hands were shaking and she felt really tired, all of her body ached. She whimpered at loud, her bladder gave in again and made her damp pajamas 10 times more uncomfortable. _That_ had never happened before and she felt an awful pang of fear wondering if forevermore she would pee on her trousers when scared.

She noticed Villanelle was whining and whimpering at being cleaned up, Konstantin –who was _still_ tending her temple- gently grabbed her head and checked her wounds. She looked down, trying to ignore the lump that formed in her throat, her hand came close to her mouth and she began to bite her fingers anxiously, tears tracking down with snot and probably drool.

She didn’t exactly notice when her fingers started bleeding but she definitely noticed when a hand held her abused limb. She whimpered again and flinched away, she didn’t want her fingers taken away, the same pair of hands grabbed at her shoulders and soon she was engulfed in Eve’s smell.

“Shh, shh” repeated the woman over and over -rocking her back and forth-, instead of helping she only began to cry. Irina felt stupid and humiliated at needing the kind of comfort only a child would need and seek but she was so scared, confused and wired up that she couldn’t cope like an adult right now. _Just_ _not right now_ she told herself as she clung to Eve.

“Oh honey you’re still wet” said Eve pulling back for a second, Irina turned so red so fast that Eve felt a little bad for calling out the girl on her accident, Konstantin probably hadn’t even noticed the girl had wet herself in between all the yelling, shouting and hitting- mused the former agent watching him clean Villanelle’s temple with cotton and antiseptic.

“Papa told me to stay here” she whispered as explanation, of course now it looked like she wasn’t capable of cleaning herself or dealing with her mess “But I’ll change right away” she added immediately trying to stand up; she didn’t want to annoy Eve too and she seemed to be nothing more than an annoyance nowadays… She was exhausted, she did mean to get up and change but Eve was such a warm presence and she didn’t let go… the woman hugged her again into her chest and pretty much covered her with her curls. The warmth and the caring was too much, she didn’t know when she began crying _again_ but there was words, talking and even some shouting but she was incapable of hearing, she just wanted to be held and coddled. _No more outside please_. 

* * *

“Three, we only got three” said Konstantin while cleaning Villanelle’s temple, he had her sitting in a stool in the kitchen, Irina was just one stool away sipping quietly a cup of tea he had made in his haste to do something – _anything_ \- useful to calm her down.

“Hurts” whined Villanelle pulling away “Hurts” she repeated pushing him away when he didn’t stop cleaning the cut 

“Sorry baby” he mumbled but kept at it

“Papa it hurts!!” cried the girl pulling away, Konstantin sighed, his chin fell to his chest and he released a big sigh

He turned to Eve who was now all the sudden holding onto Irina; Villanelle noticed this and immediatly frowned, she wasn’t sure she liked that.

Hot jealousy twisted in her belly and she couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the childish way Irina was acting. Wasn’t she such a hot shot all the time?

At the same she felt a little bad because she knew that Irina had no control over her reactions, she had seemed really scared back at the office.

“Is just… we have to go” said Konstantin suddenly “The one who run away-soon someone will come” he turned back to Villanelle “You need to let me clean you up so I can wash, we need to go” he explained. The blond girl only eyed him warily.

“I don’t think the one who ran away was heading for the authorities” said Eve exasperated -she was right though- Felipe was having dinner with his granny telling her a funny story involving his nose and a tree branch. Irina in the meantime was crying in her chest, clutching her shirt “We have time” she said looking down towards the shaking girl.

Villanelle felt something in her belly –she frowned-, she realized after a few seconds that it was something opposite of joy and it was far from jealousy… she thought really hard about this and pinpointed the emotion as _distress,_ a reaction at seeing Irina so shaken and scared. She rationalized that everyone in that house had training for the kind of life they were leading and even if Eve was a desk manager for plenty years she did have all her credentials and training up to date. Irina was just a girl.

“We cannot risk it” said Konstantin quickly, she began to suck her thumb because her head felt like it was going to burst and self-soothing instead of bawling seemed like a good option. 

“WE HAVE TIME” yelled Eve angry, Konstantin froze; she looked up startled and more than a little scared “Give Villanelle her medicines please I’ll help Irina clean herself”

“No I wanna go!” Villanelle whined, thumb leaving her mouth immediately and opening her arms towards her

“Vi, I need you to stay with Konstantin and both start packing” She ordered

Both Russian looked a little affronted at being told what to do but Eve’s tone left no room for argument, the second they nodded she stepped back from the –still crying- girl and softly helped her off the stool, it was there that Villanelle noticed that Irina had had an accident and she felt 10 times worse.

The man nodded somberly, having noticed the accident as well, Villanelle lowered her arms slowly and nodded with a pout firmly in place.

* * *

“You’re going to dry up if you keep crying” joked Eve once they reached the bathroom.

Irina bit her lip and held her sob inside making her frame shake, Eve was right, there was no reason to keep crying and-“Oh honey, I’m joking, you can cry a whole river if you want” explained the woman quickly coming close and cupping her face with her hands “Is fine Irina, you’re fine and we’re all fine” said the woman softly, the girl nodded quickly feeling overwhelmed at the affectionate gestures: the names, the doting… it was like having a mother; the kind you see on tv that are always there for their children and have time to cook and play.

Irina was mature enough to understand that neither her mother or father were very interested in her life _but at least_ –once upon a time- they had loved her and pampered her with the best toys and education money could buy. They were nice, the kind of nice you see in the movies and think ‘I wish my mother would buy me a car too’ even if for her it was more like ‘I wish my mother speaks to me again someday’, and Eve was here and she was just… so open, honest and caring in her ministrations that it was hard not to get attached, besides it had been many years since she'd felt seen. She was starving for attention; her father was always working and her mother –although caring and supportive- had a very independent and busy life, especially since most of her school years were at boardings school. 

This woman, as simple as she once seemed had become important to her, Eve looked after her without any responsibility or duty but there she was making sure she was clean and dry. Eve was like the mother she never had, she _didn't_ have. 

“’I’m very angry” blurted out Irina realizing in one agonizing moment everything she had missed out. More tears flooded her eyes.

Eve eyed her worriedly and led her by the hand into the tub, once inside she helped her step out of the cold, itchy and damp trousers.

“I’m sorry” she mumbled mortified, Eve smiled at her and waved away as if saying ‘ _don’t mention it’_ “T-thanks” stuttered the girl looking down.

“I think a quick shower is better, since we’re in a hurry and everything” explained the woman as she grabbed the shower head, settled the right temperature and began to help her rinse.

Konstantin walked into the room with clothes in his arms, Irina blushed again feeling like a complete failure _he_ _definitely knows what happened now._ Thought the teen somberly as she saw him pick her soiled clothes of the floor.

“I’ll leave you a change” he said “The girl’s bags are ready I’ll go and clean myself up” his face was still a bit stained with blood and his forehead was swelling

“Villanelle?” asked the agent immediately

“She’s having a snack”

“Great, we won’t take long” said Eve grateful that the man wasn’t completely useless.

“Alright, let’s get you out, dry and into clean clothes” said the woman smiling assuredly at her, Irina could only nod in response

“What’s going to happen now?” she asked suddenly, dread filling her insides; “Do we have to split?” she asked immediately, Eve hugged her and began to pat her back, she squirmed annoyed at being soothed when she wanted answers. The agent chuckled at her impatience, she was so much like Villanelle sometimes it was weird… considering they weren’t real sisters and all.

“Don’t worry about that Irina”

“I don’t wanna split” blurted Irina scared, tears flowing down again “please-please don’t go” she cried trying to hold onto Eve

“I’m not going anywhere!” responded the woman holding the girl close.

Surprisingly enough –thought Eve- that was the pure truth. Both adults have talked extensively about what to do in case one of them went missing or any of the girls were to be in trouble; they talked about the most somber of scenarios the first couple of days and although it left them feeling quite depressed and sad they managed to map out a few back up plans in case something happened and now they at least had a plan. It would have to be one of the improvised ones since it was _way too soon_ for something like this to happen, besides it is kind of impossible to _prepare_ for an unforeseen situation.

* * *

“Are you feeling alright?” asked Konstantin to the blond that was sucking her thumb softly while they watched Eve take Irina away.

She nodded and looked back to him, he continued to clean her temple with care 

“You slipped?” he asked; she shrugged-still a little hazy on the details. She remembered the bath now, she was in it because her skin had been too sticky for her to bear another second; then Eve came in and told her something… whatever happened next it’s a mystery 

“I’ll have the doctor check you over” he said, Villanelle rolled her eyes

“I’m fine” she grumbled around her thumb, the man shook his head

“No, head wounds are very dangerous I’m not taking chances with you”

“You’re over’acting” she whined, Konstantin chuckled at her antics 

“And you are bleeding” he said showing her the cotton he had on his hand. The girl rolled her eyes. “Come on, we have to change you fast” he said helping her down the stool and leading the way to her and Irina’s room. Villanelle could hear Eve talking in the bathroom and wanted to know what they were saying, maybe they were talking about her…

“Are you listening to me?” asked Konstantin suddenly in front of her, she shook her head quickly “I asked if you want to wear something specific?” he repeated, touching her cheek

“Whatever is fine” was the quick answer and a sad look casted to the floor

“Are you sure you are well?” asked the man again sitting next to the girl, leaving the clothes aside for a second, Eve was right, _they had time_.

“Umm….do we have to split?” asked the girl playing with the hem of her pajamas

“I do not think so… if we do things quickly” explained the man … she was just sitting there numb trying not to be a difficult brat

“Maybe we made a mistake” she said, looking down to her pajama pants. Konstantin turned to look at her and quickly came close

“It is alright to be scared” he said, Villanelle looked at him

“Is it?” she asked softly, sometimes if felt like she was _always_ scared. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“Mama, mama!” called the little girl pounding on the ratty old door with her little hands. A splinter from the wood lodged inside her little palm but she just hissed and kept knocking “Mama please, open the door” tears began to trek down her cheeks, she had been outside hours by now. She was hungry, scared, cold and tired._

_Usually when her mother sent her out the house the anger would last until her papa arrived and asked after her, but this time papa was not coming… and she was cold and the sun was hiding._

_“Mama please” cried the little girl shivering, she was only wearing the pajamas in which her mother had found her wet in the morning, although they were dry now. She felt a wet nose nudge on her neck and the tears fell harder “mama I’m dry now… mama I wanna go in” cried the girl hiding her face in the dirty and mated fur of one of the dogs that her father kept, boris was the most gentle with her._

_She tried knocking again, her hand was hurting now from hitting the door so hard. She began to cry hard when she noticed the sun was hiding completely in the tree line at the back yard._

_“boris, let’s go hide, the monsters will get us” mumbled the child putting her thumb into her mouth and grabbing onto the dog’s fur. The animal walked slowly with some deep instinct responding to the little human whimpers; boris led them to the shed where the other 3 dogs were curled around each other keeping warm. The little girl crawled to the middle, flinching when some paw picked at her back, she wiggled and squirmed until all dogs settled around her and she no longer felt cold. Her little eyes kept watching over to her house trying to see if her Mama would go out and look for her, but the shadows began to disappear and darkness came to engulf the house, she kept her eye open until she couldn’t see the house anymore. Her stomach hurt she put her dirty thumb inside her mouth and tried to sleep, her little legs and arms shook from fear, she just wanted to feel safe for once in her life…_

_+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

“Villanelle, I know you are scared” said Konstantin grabbing her hands “but will not let anything happen to you or Irina”

“You can’t promise that” mumbled Villanelle with tears in her eyes

“I promise you I am not going to leave you behind” he said, the former assassin took a deep breath. _That was one of her fears._ She was scared, shaken and now she felt silly. She was trained for this life, she was supposed to keep her cool but right now she just felt like a kid. Trusting Eve and Konstantin had made her weak.

“This was a mistake” she grumbled again. Konstantin was staring at her quietly, waiting for the words to come out.

“How so?” he asked, Villanelle glared and began to speak quickly

“We will never be normal, we will never have a good house and a nice family, Dasha was right I ruined my only good chance I had to get ahead in this world and I gave it up because I thought we could have all that but-but we can’t” the tears came inhibited and Villanelle hated herself for not being able to control them. It was in the worst moments that her body decided to show emotions but she wasn’t even sad, she was angry because she was feeling the same shit she used to feel when she lived with her mum: the fear, uncertainty and not knowing what came next. She should’ve known better than to trust someone else.

“Stop” said Konstantin “You are panicking” explained the man putting his cold hands on her cheeks.

“I’m not” she whined hiccupping and cleaning with haste the few tears she had spilled, the man chuckled and kissed her forehead

“Everything will be fine, trust me” he said, Villanelle said nothing more, she just stared at him quietly.

“Come on, change clothes I have to pack the bags” said the man tiredly, Villanelle smiled at him and quickly removed her pajamas top. He handed her a clean top and a thin jumper that the girl quickly donned “I need you to have a snack” he said while fishing out some jeans from one of the drawers and helping her to put them on. The girl did most of it by herself and the way Konstantin kept trying to help her was funny and endearing. She was in no way annoyed by him; her real mother had never helped her with anything, much less her father.

He tied her trainers and she smiled amused at him while he hummed a song and tried to put her at ease, he hadn’t been entirely successful but at least she was in a better mood and much less somber.

“Come on pretty girl, everything is going to be aright” he said again in a balant display of affection, Villanelle blushed and made a face.

“Stop being so silly” she said pushing him away but unable to hide her smile, he chuckled and hugged her again. “I have to pack, give Irina her clothes and go change” he explained pulling back, the girl pouted she didn’t want to be left alone “Come on, let’s give you something to eat while we all get ready” 

Villanelle was feeling clingy and small again and she kind of felt frustrated about that because she knew this was a moment when she needed to be big and useful, a little bit more like an assassin; instead of that she was all confused and shaken, not to mention sick.

Konstantin led her to the stool she had been sitting before and quickly put a bowl of grapes, half an apple, a couple of biscuits and a sippy cup with orange juice in front of her; she felt like the most lucky creature in existence. It was such a simple thing… but it was something that only He and Eve had bothered to do.

“Thanks papa” she mumbled feeling safe and warm on the inside. Konstantin smiled sadly at her, reading immediately the heavy implication of the abuse in her past.

“I’ll go get ready, eat” he ordered before leaving, she nodded.

* * *

“You know you can wear one of Villanelle’s-“

“No” Irina was red in the face and quickly snatched her regular underwear from her hands

“Alright, it was just a suggestion” said the woman amused

“I-I thought my father was going to die” mumbled the girl as feeble defense, Eve sighed and nodded

“I’m sorry you had to see that, we’re supposed to be protecting you and so far we’re only adding onto things to make up for”

“Not true” mumbled Irina looking down to her knees “I think meeting you has been nice” she said shrugging, the blush on her cheeks coming back; the Asian woman smiled and kissed the girl’s forehead

“I think the same too” she said, Irina smiled and Eve took the underpants from her hands “Come on we gotta hurry”

“I can do it!” spluttered Irina mortified at being helped to dress, but Eve didn’t bat an eye, she just knelt and quickly helped her foot into the leg hole of her underpants “hey I-I can do it!” she whined

“Honey, we’re really are in a hurry, come on be a good girl”

Eve said this words as if she was just a difficult toddler, she gulped whatever yelling and screaming was forthcoming and went mute at the woman’s words. She was in such a shock she began to participate in the bizarre experience of letting someone dress you up when you’re perfectly able to do it.

“Good girl” said Eve smiling to her proudly. Irina was feeling all flustered and embarrassed, she didn’t know how to act or what to say so she just sucked in her lower lip and softly nibbled it as she did what the woman instructed for the rest of the change. She ended up in jeans, a basic gray shirt and a generic light jacket. The teenager was nothing but surprised at the woman’s commitment of this act when she tied the laces of her trainers and brushed her hair in an efficient manner.

“Thank you” mumbled the girl once she was all ready to go. Eve smiled at her, the same way she had seen her do to Villanelle a hundred times since they had arrived.

“You’re welcome” was the answer, along with _another_ kiss to her head “Come on, we need to get you something to eat before we go”

Irina felt like floating all the way to the kitchen.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter finds you well and safe :)   
> Umm... i got a kitten, named him konstantin -w- he's the reason I couldn't post last week, you know how bottle kittens get very demanding.

“Glad to see you’re ready!” said Eve walking into the kitchen with Irina behind her, Villanelle startled and dropped her sippy cup, thankfully the lid held on and only a droplets spilled “You alright?” asked Eve quickly

“Yeah, I just didn't see you and umm… you startled me that’s all” explained the blond picking up her cup, Eve looked at her with knowing and concerned eyes. 

“Can I have some?” asked Irina quickly looking at Villanelle’s food, Eve took a glance at what Villanelle was eating and quickly put a similar bowl and cup for Irina, adding some painkillers for her hand

“Let me go and fix my bag, please stay here both of you” she said before leaving.

Irina was staring at the table where a sippy cup -that she knew for a fact came with Villanelle’s cup in the same package- sat next to her bowl.

“So….” said Villanelle with a huge smirk, Irina rolled her eyes

“Don’t be a dick” spat the teen immediately defensive, a dark look fell on Villanelle’s eyes; one that Irina hadn’t seen since they had arrived here.

“You can’t use that cup” stated the blond serious. Irina frowned completely baffled.

“What?” -she didn’t want to use it- “Why not?” _yeah, why not?_

“Because those are mine you can use a regular glass” explained the girl rolling her eyes and glancing toward the plastic cups that were nearby, Irina felt something in her belly twist 

“But Eve gave me this one” blurted the red hair grabbing the plastic cup and holding it close to her

“She _clearly_ made a mistake. That one is mine!” growled Villanelle glaring at her

“I don’t see your name anywhere!” taunted the girl turning the object up and down, acting all innocent. If she wanted to drink from that damn cup, then she could. Eve gave it to her!

“Hey, what’s wrong?” asked Konstantin quickly hearing the tone in the girls voice while walking into the kitchen, he had cleaned himself up the best he could be with a wound on his forehead

“Irina is drinking from my cup!” whined Villanelle pointing at the teenager who glared back

“Eve gave me this one so its mine!” she cried. 

Konstantin closed his eyes and counted to 10 but the girls were still bickering in the background; Villanelle swatted at Irina’s hand trying to get the cup back and Irina was a second away from throwing the cup at the blonde’s head when he literally burst “Enough!” he yelled. Irina yelped, her cup fell to the ground and Villanelle gasped scared.

“You two need to start getting along, because you’re going to get us killed!” he said angry, his face turning red from the exertion.

Villanelle tried to remember a time when she had seen him this angry and found no moment in recent memory, sure, sometimes he was annoyed at her when she was difficult or didn’t follow instructions but she had never seen him so angry and irked as right now and since her memory couldn’t come up with a possible outcome to Konstantin’s reaction her body responded automatically; it came from her gut and it was the kind of sensation that even when you know it’s coming you’re unable to stop… like the panic or anxiety that lately grips her from inside and makes her see how fucking gut wrenching her past was.

So she got scared of Konstantin, because so far nor Eve or the man had lost their patience with her and admittedly so far she hadn’t been such a bad girl…

“I’m sorry, I’ll be good” she said immediately, turning white as a sheet and stepping away from the kitchen island in which they were eating; in her haste the stool in which she was sitting toppled to the floor.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“You keep saying you’ll be good but I don’t think you understand what that is” said a tall lanky man coming close. He was wearing a very dirty shirt, she could smell sweat and booze as he came close. She was scared_

_“Dada I’ll be good” begged the girl shaking. Sometimes she preferred her mother but only sometimes._

_“I’ll fucking teach you to be good, I’m sick of you” grumbled the man drunk and still coming close to her_

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

Villanelle gulped air and backed away until she was standing against the counter. She was shaking a little.

Irina -who was still very shaken by the whole robbery experience- and hadn’t seen her father other than the moment he yelled at her in the middle of his office; also got scared.

“Sorry papa” mumbled the girl looking down to the ‘disputed’ sippy cup. Tears welled her eyes and quickly fell down her cheeks silently. She was a mess of emotions and couldn’t find a grip.

“You can’t be fighting for something so stupid!” he yelled, Irina flinched and couldn’t stop the sob that broke out of her thin frame, Villanelle also flinched “We _just_ almost died and you’re fighting over a plastic cup!”

“I’m not, I’m not fighting” cried the blond scared covering her hears, the one that was hurt was pulsing every time the man yelled, Irina was just looking down unable to speak.

“Oh, you’re done traumatizing?” asked Eve casually walking into the kitchen carrying her bag.

Konstantin took a deep breath.

“I just can’t believe them” he said grabbing his chest and turning around, storming off quite dramatically, Eve could see where the girls had gotten their flare 

Villanelle took a shaky breath and looked down; Irina was still sniveling but looking after her father to see where he had gone.

“Did you finish your snack?” asked Eve softly, Irina shook her head and controlled herself with difficulty

“I’m sorry” she mumbled “You gave me a sippy cup” she said picking up the plastic item from the floor, she took a deep breath and tried her hardest not to bawl her eyes off _again._

“Please no spanking” mumbled Villanelle coming close, her jumper twisting in her nervous hands “please?” she begged

“No one is going to get grounded, Konstantin is just… stressed” Eve didn’t like to excuse other people, she usually would only explain herself, but the girls…. Well, they couldn’t understand what she and Konstantin were going through. They had both decided to be the adults in the room, he couldn’t expect the girls to suddenly behave as their real ages after convincing them for so long that it was ok to let go and be little “Get back to your seats and finish your food please” said Eve fixing the stool Villanelle had dropped in fright and making sure both girls were back in their seats.

Villanelle was looking down, eating her grapes silently “I’m sorry” she mumbled through a chewed grape, Eve sighed and hugged the blond to her right side, Irina was hugged to her left side

“I just want this day to be over” mumbled the Irina, her voice breaking. Eve sighed and rubbed her back

“It’s been really long hasn’t it?” she asked softly, she handed the girl the sippy cup and her painkillers while holding her “Come on, you need to drink something, you’ve been crying all day long” Irina whimpered and shook her head

“I-just-wanna-go-home” cried the girl exhausted and riled up. She didn’t care if she was being difficult, she just wanted to go!

Eve sighed feeling sad for the girl and also annoyed at Konstantin for making this whole thing much harder.

“Come on honey, you just need some food in your tummy and a nap, everything will be better after a nap”

“Everything will be better after a nap?” asked Villanelle softly from her spot, Eve nodded smiling at her

“I just want my mum so bad” cried the teenager exhausted

“I know baby, I know” said Eve.

Konstantin was now in the door looking like a kicked dog –and not only because of the wounds-, he too was tired of seeing the girls suffer and cry so much; he just couldn’t control his temper. He was strung up, stressed and so very tired and in pain. The girls had to behave, they just couldn’t be like that _all_ the time.

He braced himself for what he knew was coming and came close to Eve and his daughter.

“Come here sausage” he said softly, at hearing her voice Irina began to cry and clung to Eve

“No! you’re-you’re- you mean!” cried the girl distressed and hurt

“Awww baby, I’m so sorry” he said with a big sigh, “Irina, I’m just…. I’m scared too alright?” he confessed. He saw Irina’s cries diminish and her small shoulders stopped shaking so hard, reduced only to a few hiccups.

Eve nodded to him to continue, so he did after clearing his throat awkwardly “Our lives were just in risk Irina… I saw you in the floor with that man coming towards you and I couldn’t do _anything_ , I am scared too but I am the adult here and I have to keep everything under control, so when I heard you and Villanelle fighting over using a plastic cup of which we probably have five… was the last straw” he stayed quiet then sighed “I lost my temper and I shouldn’t have, you’re just kids and-and those are things kids do, I’m very sorry and I-I’m going to try to use another tone to explain what I’m feeling”

Irina was hiccupping softly in Eve’s shoulder; she was too tired to move, her emotions were a big roller coaster.

“I’m sorry Irina” said the man again. He hugged her from behind and the kid squirmed until she was clinging to him and crying again; releasing Eve who was quickly hugged by a clingy Villanelle.

The Asian woman chuckled as the girl cuddle under her chin and took deep breaths of her scent

“I missed you” whispered the girl blushing softly, Eve chuckled

“I’m kind of proud of you” said the woman with a big amused smile, Villanelle frowned confused, she didn’t understand, she had misbehaved and made Irina cry…

“Wh-“ she was about to ask when Eve poked her tummy in a playful manner

“For sharing _me_ with Irina” whispered the woman serious, the girl’s cheeks turned a shade redder and she quickly hid under her curls. Eve chuckled 

”I didn’t mean to make her cry” mumbled Villanelle slightly repented, then she sighed “Well, I did wanted to make her cry because she took you away but I’m sorry”

Eve snorted softly and pulled Villanelle towards her kissing her cheeks in an exaggerated manner “It’s not me who you should be apologizing is it?” she asked amused, the girl puffed out her cheeks

“Not fair” she whispered, the woman gave her a look that she knew all too well so she took a deep breath and turned towards the crying teenager “Irina?” she asked softly.

The red hair was hugging her father’s neck and hiding her face; Konstantin was sitting in the stool and Irina was on his lap. Hopefully her voice had been low enough so the girl could ignore her; but of course she had forgotten her luck ended since she decided to leave Russia in flames.

“What?” spat the girl immediately angry, Villanelle winced and Konstantin delivered a soft but swift slap to the girl’s upper tight

“Don’t be rude” he said, Irina hid her face completely…. Then suddenly she began to bawl her eyes out

“Everyone is being mean to me!” she cried absolutely frustrated and red in the face, Eve was surprised at the volume of her crying, the poor girl had snapped. The Asian woman grabbed Villanelle’s back shirt and pulled her towards her, effectively putting her out of the young girl’s reach who didn’t seem much capable of controlling herself right now.

“I didn’t mean to!” cried Villanelle whimpering “I didn’t mean to be mean, I don’t like been mean to you” she confessed, Irina’s cries lessened immediately and all three members of the family looked at her in silence, she made an annoyed face then cleared her throat “I was just jealous… Eve-Eve’s attention has always been mine and suddenly you had her attention too and you always act all big and cool and think I’m a freak-“

“I don’t think you’re a freak” mumbled Irina cleaning her tears with the back of her hand “I'm sorry” she mumbled looking down, holding onto Konstantin’s jacket

“I just… felt jealous” she mumbled and looked down “But I can share…like you’re sharing your dad” Villanelle whispered that last part and bit her lip “You’re sharing Konstantin and he’s been really nice to me and I was mean”

Eve smiled and hugged her again, the Russian girl grinned stupidly from ear to ear. She thought –not for the first time- that she could live of Eve’s approval. It was addictive.

“Good girl” was whispered in her hear and she felt like floating.

“Love’u mama” she mumbled shyly, trying to convey how safe and warm she felt.

“Love you too” said Eve chuckling at the girl’s bashfulness, it was ridiculous.

“Can we go now?” asked Konstantin with a tired sigh although he seemed much less miserable. Eve nodded quickly while grabbing some snacks and putting them on a bag. Irina shook her head and whimpered immediately

“I don’t wanna go” cried the girl scared

“Where are we going?” asked Villanelle also on edge. She didn’t like not knowing the plan.

“Right now to a friend’s house, he’ll help us get out of here” explained the man “But we got to move” he said standing up, Irina clung to him now with her feet on the ground “Come on sausage, we have to move” he said, Irina whimpered and let go of him softly

“I just want to go home” 

“Home? And where is that?” asked the man amused, Irina huffed a breath

“I-I just-“

“You just need to eat and take a nap, that’s what you need” said Eve smiling and handing her the plastic item that had caused the latest conflict. The girl sighed and took a few sips, refusing to meet Villanelle’s eyes, she also ate half of the fruit in her bowl while the blonde girl did the same at her side. Once Eve deemed acceptable the quantity of food they had eaten she led them outside where Konstantin was waiting

“Come on, it’s a long walk”

“We’re walking?” asked –more like whined- Villanelle who was still a little dizzy but refused to accept it out loud. 

“Sorry, we can’t call more attention” said the man serious “We already did enough, it’s a miracle no one has come yet”

Eve grabbed Villanelle’s hand while he led the way holding onto Irina. The streets of that part of the island were pretty much deserted since most of the houses around belonged to retired rich people who only came in touristic season; that’s why a taxi or a car would be so noticeable at this time of the night in this part of town.

* * *

They walked in the half deserted streets, going through the darkest parts trying to hide from the cameras lining someone’s houses and covering their faces with care. Villanelle was feeling more and dizzier every second and her mouth began to water in that uncomfortable sensation that came with the need to empty your stomach as soon as possible

“Mama” she gasped scared when her vision went dark, Eve squeezed her hand but kept walking; they were walking through a pretty dark garden with sprinkles all around that had made her trainers wet and uncomfortable minutes ago “Mama” she called again scared, this time the woman noticed the tone in her voice and stopped in her tracks

“Konstantin wait!” she called then turned to her, she faintly heard Konstantin curse “What is it?” asked the woman softly to her, Villanelle bit her lip, she couldn’t do it…

“Nothing” she said quickly “I’m sorry” she said then began to walk shakily using Eve as support, the woman frowned and refused to move, Villanelle shivered _now I’ve done it_ she thought.

“What is it?” asked Konstantin confused having come close, Irina was at his side her eyes half closed and her frame draped against him.

“Nothing” said Villanelle again “My socks got wet” she mumbled

“Oh honey we’ll deal with that when we get to a safe place” said Eve a little impatient, the blond nodded quickly but gasped and gagged when her nose started to bleed profusely “Shit!” said Eve as surprised and scared as she was. Konstantin’s eyebrows raised surprised and he quickly produced a handkerchief from one of his pockets while Irina whined at being moved and hustled.

The man began to hold her head and immediately began to tell her to keep calm, but it was too late, Villanelle was squirming scared gagging and dry heaving trying to pull away

“Come” grumbled the man trying to keep her still, Villanelle finally relented and froze scared, trying not to annoy the man further

“M’sorry” she mumbled almost shaking

“What?” he asked cleaning her chin, and cheeks, Eve was fishing for some baby wipes in one of the bags

Villanelle’s eyes we’re wide and scared, the older woman came close and handed the man a few wet wipes; he placed the blood soaked cloth inside his pocket and quickly used the wipes to clean the girl who was unnaturally still

“Are you alright?” he asked softly, turning her chin to the side to make sure her face was clean. Villanelle whimpered softly. “Villa-“ he was about to ask again what was wrong when the girl propelled forward and vomited all her juice, biscuits and grapes on top of him.

* * *

“Shhh, don’t move” said a voice. Villanelle _hated_ waking up in strange places.

She was used to going to sleep in _different_ places but she liked to know _when_ she fell asleep and _where_ she would wake up. When those two conditions weren’t met she tended to get cranky.

The room was much smaller that the ones at their previous hiding place, the bed was just a cot in the corner and Eve was wiping her face with a cold compress.

“Mama” she whined squirming, her head was all stuffed with cotton, she felt all her body was numb with medication –she also hated that sensation- then to add to her mortification, she noticed the bed under her butt was wet and her lower half was very cold.

She must have leaked because she was only wearing a pull up when she was awake, she cursed in her head over and over.

“Don’t move, you’re too sick” whispered the woman softly in her ear, the girl whimpered again

“Is she awake?” asked Konstantin’s voice, she tried to turn but her hear hurt too much and she groaned in pain

“Shhh” Eve held her head in her hands “Come on honey, go back to sleep” she said softly, patting her head.

She wanted to tell her… she really did, but she was too scared to talk and she was getting more and more sleepy…

* * *

Irina whined when Konstantin moved to get the handkerchief from his pocket, soon he was fuzzing over Villanelle as usual and she rolled her eyes and pulled back to watch from afar, she was just about to get annoyed and cranky but there seemed to be something urgent and scared in the Villanelle’s eyes and Irina really was tired of fighting with someone everyone seemed so keen on having around her, so she just watched quietly, standing next to Eve who was rummaging in the bags cursing about something or another

“I need you to stay calm” she heard Konstantin say to the blond, but as usual the girl was already in hysterics; Eve searching was also reaching a frantic level.

“Come here” grumbled Konstantin holding Villanelle’s head in his big hand and holding the handkerchief in place with another; the girl froze, Irina could see that she was really afraid and she felt bad for her, Eve was right, she was having a really bad time too

“M’sorry” she heard a mumble. Irina squirmed. Couldn’t the girl chose a dry spot to bleed? Her trainers were all soggy now

“What?” asked Konstantin confused, Irina was confused too; finally Eve brought out a package of baby wipes that she quickly ripped open and handed at least four to her father. 

“Are you alright?” asked the man softly to the blond while cleaning her face with care; It was those kind of gestures that made Irina jealous because Konstantin seemed to have a familiarity with the Russian that he had lost with her when she was around 11 and shipped off like a package to a boarding school.

It didn’t seem fair, she was his daughter after all, maybe she also wanted to be fussed over and held close like Villanelle did… 

The girl suddenly went all pale and she took a step back knowing instinctively what was coming, or maybe she had finally spent enough time around little Villanelle to know when she was about to vomit; Eve tried to reach for Konstantin but it was too late because soon he was dripping sickness from his shirt and coat.

“Shit” he cursed, Villanelle fell forward limp as a noddle and he was barely able to catch her “Shit, shit, shit” he kept cursing as he turned the girl over, Eve came close too and knelt checking her

“What the fuck?” asked the woman scared, Konstantin was smelling his shirt and trying not to heave himself. Irina also came close to look and see if the girl was fine.

“We need to carry her” said the man immediately, Eve stood up and grabbed the bag Konstantin had been carrying so far, the man came close and grunted as he picked the heavy death weigh of his –for all senses and proposes- daughter.

 _Let it never be said that Russian are not strong, proud people_ thought Eve with admiration as she watched a man in his late 40’s pick a completely passed out Villanelle; and right after a beating too.

Eve grabbed Irina’s hand and the girl curled into her side just like she had done with Konstantin before all this “Are we far?” she asked with a small voice, Eve smiled tight

“Just a little further honey” she said, Irina whined knowing immediately she was being lied to.

“Come on, hold on” whispered Eve softly “Your father is doing quite the effort carrying Villanelle, we got to be a little brave” she explained, Irina nodded quietly and began to suck on her lower lip as they walked.

They probably walked more than 40 minutes, including a 10 minute rest. Finally houses began to look less like abandoned lavish mansions and people began to appear at every side; just when Irina was ready to drop to the floor and demand to be carried just like Villanelle, her father sighed and signaled ahead with his head

“There, the blue house” he said. Eve pulled her along and she kept dragging her feet, her eyes almost shutting down on their own accord

“Come on honey, a little more” said the woman smiling at her, she pouted and followed.

Irina quickly grabbed a big fist of Eve’s jacket and stuck to her side once inside the house. The man that had come over and over the past week as doctor was standing there, watching them, he seemed worried and quickly opened the door for Eve and motioned for her to come in. Irina found herself in a very small and humble house, there seem to be hundreds of photographs all over the walls and she fought against her curiosity, staying instead glued to Eve’s side.

“What are we doing here?” she asked squirming, scared “I don’t wanna be here” she mumbled, Eve hushed her and hugged her against her hiding her from the outside world.

She stayed there hiding feeling safe

“ _What happened?”_ asked the man in Spanish once Konstantin managed to get into the room. Irina _heard_ the familiar tone in which the man spoke to her father, so that must mean they knew each other.

 _“Four stupid assholes decided to break into the house and try to steal our money”_ explained his father “ _Where can I put my girl? I need you to check her over, she wacked her head on something”_

_“To that room, let’s go”_

Irina looked up then, she didn’t want to lose her father out of sight. Eve grabbed her hand and began to follow as well. She felt a little silly being led like a child but she couldn’t deny she enjoyed the safety and comfort it brought.

The short man led the way through the small house into a bedroom that had a cot in a corner and a sofa in one side and not much else but a table.

“ _Laid her down, I’ll check her up”_ he instructed, Konstantin was happy to do it and quickly laid the girl in the thin bed.

While Konstantin explained to the doctor everything that had happened, Eve led her to the sofa and sat down, making her sit next to her and helping her laid down with her head in her lap

“Why don’t you rest baby, I’ll be here” said Eve kissing her head, Irina looked towards her father listening him speak in his deep tone, she didn’t think she would be able to fall asleep until Eve put a hand above her ear, making everything sound muffled and warmth seep into her head, that immediately made her close her eyes and take a deep breath.

“You won’t go?” she asked, gripping the woman’s shirt and nuzzling her nose into it. The teenager realized what she was doing and looked up to see if Eve was looking at her with disgust or anger, but all she found was a pair of brown warm eyes that were looking down at her as if she was as smart, pretty and useful as Villanelle

“I won’t go” said the woman smiling down to her, Irina felt tears fill her eyes so she just closed her eyes, curled into Eve and fell asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, I should tell you I'm trying to wrap things up. This got out of my hands. xD  
> On my pc, this whole file is called "fanfic6" when I finish it I'll definitely change the file name :V  
> Have a nice week :)

Eve was sitting on a plastic stool right next to the girl’s cot, they had been at this house for around an hour now. Irina was sleeping behind her in a small sofa and Konstantin was being tended by the doctor in the kitchen; they were also fixing all the documents and cash Konstantin had on him.

“Shh, don’t move” she whispered to the blond the second the girl had begun to squirm and flinch, she grabbed a cold compress and pressed it against the girls cheek hoping it would help

“Mama” mumbled the girl half asleep

“Don’t move, you’re too sick” she whispered in her hear softly trying not to wake Irina, the poor kid need to rest badly too, besides she had been terrified the whole time and managed to be brave for them. Irina was quite the little fighter. 

“Is she awake?” asked Konstantin’s voice in the doorway, he seemed better although his face was swelling.

“Shhh” Eve put a hand in the girl’s cheek, it was warm and flushed, littered with spots “Come on honey, go back to sleep” she said softly patting her face. It didn’t take much, Villanelle was exhausted and her body was finally surrendering to the exertion

“Are they ok?” asked the man softly coming close, Eve gave an enormous sigh she didn’t even know she had inside her.

“I don’t even know” she said with a sarcastic chuckle “I’m pretty sure Irina will be scarred for life and Villanelle might not even make it with how sick she is”

“Hey don’t say that” said Konstantin siting on the cot, careful not to disturb the sleeping girl “She’ll pull through, it’s just a bad night” he said touching Villanelle’s cheek “And Irina will be fine, she is a fighter” he said this with certainty, like stating the date.

“I’m afraid everyone gets tired of fighting, they need to be carefree too and we’re failing them”

Konstantin spluttered angry

“ _This_ was not our fault” he said “Those guys wanted money, they were literally in the worst spot at the worst time!” he touched his chest, right above his heart.

“Still… we should be doing better. We are supposed to protect them”

“We are trying, but it us just us against the world, do not beat yourself too much. We all screw up sometimes” he admitted “And so far you have been a wonderful mother figure for both. Stop doubting yourself”

Eve just sagged her shoulders. Konstantin suddenly frowned and stood up quickly.

“Oh, she-“ the Asian woman began the explanation but Konstantin only nodded tiredly waving the whole thing away, the damp spot in the covers was clear enough. He sighed and began to remove the covers trying not to wake her, Eve came close with the items she needed and with his help removed the girl’s pajamas. Villanelle didn’t even stirred when he picked her up and laid her next to a warm and sleeping Irina.

* * *

A kick to her shin made Villanelle wake up with a start. 

“Ow” she whined immediately

“Sorry” mumbled Irina still half-sleep and cuddling

“You two are really cute” said Eve amused and unable to control her chuckle. Irina opened her eyes and found herself tangled with Villanelle who was hugging her waist like a huge teddy bear.

Irina grumbled and turned around, giving her back to the blond, she was too tired to care about sharing right now.

“Come on, you gotta get up” said Eve with amusement in her tone

“No” grumbled Irina immediately “I don’t wanna go”

Villanelle hadn’t even stirred, she was dead to the world. 

“Honey, we’re _on the run_ that should make something clear…” said the Asian woman as she shook Villanelle softly and made her open her eyes

“Not dead?” asked the girl softly, Irina watched Eve’s eyes lost a little of her mirth

“Not funny” she grumbled. It _really_ had been a rough night.

Irina sat up, her hair was sticking up everywhere and she was sure she smelled, she hadn’t had a proper shower since the day before yesterday.

“I want a shower” she mumbled, Eve helped her out of the sofa and quickly handed her clothes and a towel, apparently that was the plan since the beginning 

“It’s that way” said the woman pointing, Irina looked at her terrified

“NO! You haf-to come!” she blurted. There was a second of silence and she began blushing immediately, looking away the second she realized what she had done; she even flinched, waiting for the rejection that was sure to come.

“Oh... right, yes, let’s let Villanelle sleep a bit more, let’s go” said the woman quickly covering up both of their awkwardness with just plain cluelessness. Villanelle was happy to roll onto her belly and continue sleeping.

* * *

Eve was reading…

Eve was _staring_ at some magazine while she showered, the woman was directly in her eye of vision and she felt really dumb for needing something like this. _It’s a constant battle-_ provided her mind; she absently wondered if one day either she would give in into all this or she would turn her back to everything from one day to the other.

“Are you alright?” asked Eve locking eyes with her. She looked away and continued washing

“What are we doing today?” asked Irina shutting the faucet and grabbing a towel, Eve stood up and came close with another towel, immediately covering her head and started drying her without asking. Irina felt small and defenseless; a lump formed in her throat and it was impossible to fight it. Her tense shoulders dropped down, her neck relaxed and even her stiff posture turned into a bit of a noddle.

“First we’ll have breakfast” said the woman removing the towel and smiling down to her, Irina returned the smile easily, it came natural when she was with Eve, the woman was really good to her “Then we gotta move, we would be boarding a plane right now but Villanelle won’t be let into boarding while looking _so_ contagious, we have to spend a week hiding with another of your father’s friends” explained the woman quickly patting the rest of her body efficiently. Irina squirmed and even had to stifle a giggle when the woman dried her ribs.

Eve helped her dress every step of the way and she didn’t fight it, this time she simply let herself been taken care of, even if it was just for 10 minutes, giving in was nice. _It’s just ten minutes_ she reminded herself as Eve brushed her hair back and then used her hands to let it bounce around.

Just like when she was four –and her mum still helped her wash- she began to suck on her bottom lip and hum to herself. 

“Come on, let’s go get Villanelle” said Eve once she was ready, Irina frowned she didn’t like that idea much “And let’s find your dad” added the woman watching her reactions, Irina nodded. She liked that idea.

The house they were in was covered in pictures of different people, some, she guessed were famous, but others seemed pretty regular folk

“Have you seen your father?” asked Eve smirking

“Uh?” asked the girl confused, the woman smile widened as she pointed at a few pictures to her left, Irina followed and sure enough was met with her father’s face, but probably a hundred years younger. The picture was in black and white and her father was sporting a pretty awful hairdo and his clothes looked so ugly Irina couldn’t be more glad to be born the year she did “When was this?” she asked the agent

“Beats me, your father won’t tell” laughed Eve. Irina rolled her eyes and pouted

“He’s probably around in many more pictures, I just hadn’t had the time” said Eve looking around at the eccentric place. Once back in the room they found Konstantin sitting on the sofa with a crying Villanelle perched on his lap

“Hey what’s wrong?”

“Oh, she-she just had a nightmare” explained Konstantin. Irina looked at him and could swear the man had aged 10 years since a week ago, he looked bruised and still swollen in his face. 

“Papa!” she whined extending her arms, Villanelle glared at her from her spot in his lap

“Trade” grumbled the girl, Irina nodded and soon Villanelle was clinging to a very bemused Eve while Irina cuddled into her father’s side.

“See? Sharing it’s not that hard” said Konstantin chuckling, Irina rolled her eyes.

* * *

The instant Eve and Irina were out of the room Villanelle rolled onto her belly and stretched her achy limbs.

 _Everything hurt_ s; supplied her brain helpfully. It was as if her body had decided to run a marathon without telling her.

She rolled to her side groaning and stretched again, the burning on her side began immediately and her hand quickly found the itching spot and began to scratch over it, however relief was only momentary because a second later pain burst from the scab that now was slowly dribbling blood.

“Shit” she grumbled cleaning the stain in the sheets quickly, hoping no one would notice. The burn on her skin extended to the side so she continued scratching, this time trying not to break the skin, she was trying to be really careful but to be honest she was feeling her shirt a little bit wet…

“What are you doing?” asked Konstantin instantly above her, he grabbed her hands and held them away, she yelped and began to squirm “Don’t do that!” he said angry

“Stop!” whined Villanelle turning red and squirming annoyed “Lemmego!” she cried

“Look at the state of you!” he said, Villanelle glared at him

“Lemme go!” she whined again trying to scratch “It itches!!!!”

“Stop moving, you will hurt yourself further” instructed Konstantin trying to control the girl

“Noooo!” cried the blonde frustrated beyond belief at the inability of scratch an itch.

Konstantin raised his hand and delivered three swift, quick slaps to her diapered butt, effectively shaking her out of her tantrum and putting an end to all her squirming.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“Mama please, please forgive me” cried the child clawing at the legs where she was drapped over, her mother was still spanking her, she had been at it for so long she was afraid to pass out “Mama please!” she cried again, trying in vain to squirm away._

_“You’re a wretched creature!” yelled the woman, she was furious. A babe cried in the distance “You hear him now! You’ve woken him up!” the yelling wasn’t even getting to Oksanna, she could only feel pain, her mother was hitting her too hard, her little stomach revolted on itself, her bladder gave in and she began to wet herself, the woman noticed this immediately and threw her to the floor_

_“I don’t want to see you” yelled the woman to the little body that was shaking in the floor._

_“Mama” mumbled the girl, her eyes half closed. The woman turned around to tend to the baby and left her in the floor._

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Villanelle went stiff as a board, her breath halting immediately, Konstantin released her hands slowly and the girl looked at him with pure undiluted fear in her eyes.

“Villanelle?” he asked softly, the girl whimpered then,

“I’m sorry” the words came out on a shaky breath and Konstantin quickly sat next to her and moved her to sit on his lap, rubbing her arms up and down with the sleeves of his jacket, jostling her rhythmically in the process

“What are you doing?” asked the girl confused, suddenly distracted by all the actions Konstantin was doing and had never done before

“I forgot you hate being spanked, I’m sorry” he said hugging her softly “I just reacted and I scared you” the words were soft and his beard was tickling on her cheek

“What?”

“I scared you, I’m sorry” he repeated patting her knees too.

Villanelle was looking at him, wide eyes, then she looked down to her knees. She was sitting on his lap still.

“Stop” she whined turning red, Konstantin chuckled and hugged her

“I won’t, I’m taking care of you” he said.

When one is a child, it is widely known that our way to express emotions and affection is grossly defined by the example of those around us. That’s how you get a family of huggers or maybe people that hug each other every 3 years.

Villanelle had lived the first years of her life without even knowing what a loving gesture was, she didn’t know how to act or react to such blatant display of affection; especially because she knew there was no danger in returning the gesture… He wouldn’t mock her, push her or kick her away; he _loves_ her. 

She was very used to men _loving_ her in many ways, especially those that would come uninvited with displays of luxury, sex or money, but no men had ever worried about her having a snack in the afternoon, or hurting her back while scratching. She didn’t know how to love _that way_.

“M’sorry” she mumbled confused, she was truly apologizing for not understanding the most basic human interactions.

“It’s fine, everything is fine” he said smiling at his victory of avoiding a panic attack but Villanelle shook her head and her thumb came close to her lower lip, she bit the tip as she began talking.

“I don’t know how-“ she blurted before tears spilled from her eyes, a lump clogged her throat. It wasn’t fair was it? Everyone seemed to be able to express love, care and emotions without a second thought but she was always struggling; even to feel like a regular fucking human. It was hard to admit _there was_ something decidedly wrong with her and for it to be _so basic_ it made her feel even worse.

Konstantin waited in silence, he rubbed her back in soft circles “Hey, don’t push yourself” said the man softly as the girl turned red from not breathing 

“I don’t know how to love” she confessed, tears falling from her eye

“What the hell are you talking about?” asked Konstantin suddenly feeling out of his depth, Villanelle was always giving him whiplash

“I-I don’t know how-how to make you feel safe or-or loved like you are making me feel right now” the girl hiccupped “It was probably beaten out of me when little” she mumbled after a second of silence.

 _Is there any right words to say to that?_ Mused Konstantin as he looked at the teary and beaten girl. Sometimes this world wasn’t fair at all.

Konstantin hugged the girl towards his chest and rocked her softly while patting her back softly.

“You’re fine, you’re fine” whispered the man to the shivering girl “You _do_ know how to love and I do feel safe with you, maybe you don’t realize but you’re so much better now” his voice wavered a little and Villanelle hid her face in his neck “I’m really proud of you, you’ve pulled through” he chuckled.

He though far back when he had first seen the kid, so small, thin, sick looking… and looking like a drowned kitten she had raised her chin and promised to do whatever Nadia was going to do 10 times better, he couldn’t be more proud of her; she had fought every step of the way, Villanelle _deserved_ now to be safe away from all the pandemonium in which they had landed themselves.

“Hey what’s wrong?” asked Eve’s voice, he looked up and quickly made up an excuse

“Oh, she-she just had a nightmare” He noticed Irina perched at Eve’s side, she was looking at him curiously, then she extended her arms in a needy manner that made his heart ache

“Papa!” she whined, he felt Villanelle tense and look towards his daughter

“Trade” grumbled the girl softly, Irina nodded immediately and soon he had his kid on his lap and Villanelle was clinging to Eve’s arm

“See? Sharing it’s not that hard” he said chuckling and jostling Irina up and down, the girl rolled her eyes but leaned her head on his shoulder

“You smell clean” he commented smiling

“You smell old” she said, he chuckled and began to rock her softly

“What happened to you?!” asked Eve suddenly, pulling on Villanelle’s back white cotton shirt, the girl bit her lip and shrunk on herself

“I’m sorry” she mumbled, looking almost like a kicked puppy, Eve hated the fear in the girl’s eyes

“I’m just asking what happened” explained the woman reaching for the hem of the shirt and asking with her eyes if she could check for herself

“I’m sorry” blurted the girl again with a tremble in her voice, Eve realized she was _really_ scared, she didn’t want to make the girl panic so she stopped and looked towards Konstantin, the man cleared his throat immediately

“She was scratching when I walked into the room, have already talked to her, that’s why she was crying” he confessed, the woman turned to the girl

“Is that right?” she asked softly sitting on the airing cot, Villanelle sat next to her a little less terrified, objectively she _knew_ that Eve wasn’t going to hurt her… but it doesn’t work that easy, the moment _something_ triggers her childhood memories she reacts as her body was _taught_ to react, even when her minds tells her that everything is supposed to be safe now. 

“Yes” whispered Villanelle in a scared breath “And I didn’t want to stop scratching… it hurts” she confessed, Eve sighed and then smiled to her and grabbed her hands

“It’s fine, we’ll clean them up and try not to hurt them more” she said.

Villanelle looked at her frowning “Tha-that’s it?” she asked, the woman shrugged and snorted

“Listen I’m improvising a lot of this too” confessed kissing the girl’s cheeks; but suddenly Villanelle was clinging to her

“You didn’t call me names or kicked me out of the house or just plain kicked me, you-you didn’t even yell” her voice was muffled but she sounded quite relieved, Eve went more and more rigid at every single thing the girl said “you’re perfect” concluded Villanelle blushing and pulling back a little to look at her, the older woman returned her gaze serious but there was no trace of anger, exasperation or disgust in her face, she was just looking at her

“No one should’ve done those things to you” she said suddenly, cupping her cheeks

“But they did!” said the blond girl immediately, “But you’ve been the most patient, warm and nice person in the whole world”

Eve pulled her into her chest and kept hugging her, she even squeezed her and it hurt a little, but she wasn’t going to complain. Irina and Konstantin were quiet looking at them; the red hair was clinging to her father softly, thankful that she didn’t had to live what Villanelle had.

* * *

“We have to clean you up” said Eve softly after a few minutes, Villanelle squirmed and blushed, her nappy was damp. The woman reached for the hem of the pajamas and raised it slowly; at least six spots were burst with blood crusted around, she winced “We definitely have to clean you up darling” the girl began to squirm away

“No I’m-I’m fine” she said quickly “I can do it alo-“

“Lies all lies” said the woman laughing “I really need you to start telling me when you’re feeling sick” she said turning serious, the girl glared offended

“I-I do!”

“You don’t, you really don’t, you keep downplaying all your symptoms, you don’t tell us when you feel sick and you always say you’re fine, when _you’re clearly not_ ” Eve was talking a little stern; she was reprimanding her.

Villanelle looked down and bit her lip, her ands turned into fists and she took a deep breath, she needed to _communicate_ “I-I’m not supposed to complain” was the mumbled confession, it was so soft that at first Eve wasn’t sure she had heard right, Konstantin and Irina weren’t able to hear it 

“What do you mean _not supposed to complain_?” asked Eve softly, involving Konstantin in the situation, he leaned closer keen to hear the explanation, Irina was hiding her face on her father’s neck, she was sad for Villanelle but she knew the girl wouldn’t perceive it as empathy, they were still on rocky terms and she didn’t want to overstep her role there. 

“I’m supposed to be quiet and not to complain”, she repeated the instructions given to her by her mother “It’s annoying” she added as an explanation. Eve was quiet at her side and she didn’t want to make eye contact even when she felt the woman’s gaze.

“Well, I declare a new rule” said the woman suddenly, Villanelle flinched and bit her lip nodding quickly. _A new rule_ ; mother sometimes had secret rules, rules that she had learnt through slaps and kicks, at least Eve was _telling her_ instead of making her guess “Every time you feel out of sorts… ANY kind of out of sorts, _you have to_ tell me, Konstantin or even Irina” she said “I won’t get mad, he won’t get mad, Irina won’t get mad, will you?” the woman looked towards them and both voiced a solid ‘no’, Villanelle was red in the face not looking up.

“Just tell us, we won’t be mad” said Konstantin softly “We worry for you and you have been feeling worse and worse but you did not say it”

“Your head injury _was_ really serious and your fever was in really dangerous levels” said Eve to the girl that was now tearing up but still not looking up “I think I would’ve been horribly sad if something had happened to you and I could’ve avoid it” she explained “And I do feel like I failed because I didn’t notice you were hiding symptoms” Eve took a breath, the blond was quietly crying “You were feeling really bad since taking that bath and you didn’t sa-“

“I’m sorry” cried the girl “I’m just not used to any of this, to any one caring- to anyone giving a shit about me!” her tirade ended with a whimper, she hid her face on the thick curls near to her and breathed in and out the scent that she was sure would relax her.

“I know, I know, that’s why I’m not mad” Eve was speaking very calmly, nothing like she had ever experienced before. Not even in the orphanage when life got a whole lot better – well at least she had food every day-.

“…You’re really not mad?” asked Villanelle immediately, she even turned to look at Konstantin who said no with his head while Eve sighed

“We we’re all scared, worried and… _maybe I was_ angry last night when the doctor told me everything” she explained, the girl winced “But then Konstantin and I talked and I-he told me about what you told Irina about life with your mother and I really think we need to have a long talk” She was starting to relax but the second Eve suggested that ‘long talk’ she was suddenly trying to clean her tears quickly, spluttering fast words.

“Please, I don’t wanna- do not-I-I promise I will be good, I-I’ll be a good girl” she said quickly, grasping Eve’s jumper in tight fists “Please I do not like it” cried the girl almost shaking.

It was a very violent and instinctive response, which made Eve feel really scared; she _knew_ Villanelle’s childhood had been hard, her file had been obvious and very straightforward; but the depth of her fears, responses and reactions were a telltale sign of just how terrible and sad that childhood _really_ was.

“Alight, hey, that long talk can’t happen now because we’re in a hurry again and we really have to get you ready” explained Eve immediately grabbing the girl’s hands into her and rubbing her white knuckles with her thumbs “Everything is fine” she said soothingly. Villanelle felt like going crazy, trying to make sense of everything she was feeling and fearing it at the same time. Eve didn’t say they weren’t going to talk, she just say they weren’t going to talk _now._ That thought wrapped around her anxiety like a big Christmas bow.

“Come on, let’s go” said the woman quickly standing up, not giving her much choice but to follow, she was still a little weepy but she also knew they were truly in a tight spot and couldn’t do much coddling now.

Villanelle stared with fascination the house they were in, at first she thought it was a madman house for the sheer quantity of objects and knickknacks ‘decorating’ every surface available, then of course she noticed –thanks to the way Dasha had taught her to observe- that the house seemed clean although cramped and it was completely lived in. She recognized the man in most of the pictures and quickly looked around trying to find him.

“Where is he?” she asked suddenly, Eve looked at her confused

“Whom?”

“The-the doctor” said the girl quickly, almost blending into the woman’s back

“Oh!” Eve snorted “He’s not around don’t worry, besides he’s checked you as soon as we arrived” she explained, Villanelle made a face but said nothing else until they got the bathroom.

“I-I had an accident when-“ Villanelle winced and couldn’t even finish her sentence, she had kind of forgotten she had woken up wet in the middle of this whole thing, besides a dry night was something of the past since Russia.

“I know, don’t worry” said Eve quickly “Everything is fine”

“I just feel like such a burden” blurted the girl looking down to her socked feet “I’m-I’m not supposed to be like this…” she mumbled, the older woman cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead; the effect was pretty instantaneous, she even forgot what she was saying and just blushed.

“You’re fine, I’m right here” said with a big smile, Villanelle took a deep breath and nodded.

“Thank you mama”

“You’re welcome” the smile Eve gave her could’ve kept her warmth in the coldest Russian night she could ever remember.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : ) h e y .

“ _Everything is ready, Carlos will take you in and then thankfully Carolyn agreed to send for you_ ”

Villanelle’s eyebrows almost reached her hairline in surprise, she didn’t know Carolyn was still in good terms with Konstantin.

The family and the doctor were sitting in a small kitchen, cramped around an even smaller wood table, Irina was even sitting on Eve’s lap because they couldn’t fit another chair inside. The doctor’s wife was cooking breakfast and yelling at the children outside the house while the doctor explained to Kontantin whatever he had managed to arrange in so little time.

Villanelle scoped a savage amount of cereal in her spoon and chewed slowly, milk and cereal dribbling down her chin obnoxiously.

“Stop that or I’ll put a bib on you” whispered Eve from the other side of the table, Irina snorted at the visual and the milk she was drinking spurted out of her nose, Villanelle began to laugh out loud while Irina coughed and turned red from choking, in a few minutes the table was all spayed with milk and cereal.

Eve rolled her eyes at their antics and began to pat Irina’s back while Konstantin sighed and reached for a napkin, cleaning Villanelle’s chin and cheeks, the girl squirmed away annoyed.

The doctor looked amused towards the girls but quickly turned somber and spoke to Konstantin in a grave tone

“ _I’m not sure you should trust Carolyn,_ _Костя_ ” the doctor took a sip of his drink

“It’s not that we trust Carolyn, is that she _owes_ us” said the man also taking a sip of his cup, the doctor sighed

“ _Well… you’re like a fucking cat, you always fall standing, I shouldn’t worry too much”_ the doctor chuckled

“We’ll give it our best shot” said the man serious, one and only thing in his mind: keeping the girls safe.

* * *

Irina reflected as they walked through the hot sunny streets and grabbed a regular old taxi that she was very used to grabbing a bag and making a life in whatever place her dad or mum picked, most of the times it wasn’t even a good life, it was just surviving in one place then another.

She didn’t like that, she would rather have a place to call home and live there for many years with Eve and her dad and, yes, if she must Villanelle too.

“mmh, can’t we just-just stay in this new place?” asked Irina softly as they sat on the cab

Her question went ignored because Konstantin quickly turned to the side and began to greet the driver like an old friend; the man was big, he barely fit in the car, much like her father and he was noisy just like him… except he had dark curly hair, dark brown skin and warm brown eyes.

“Carlos!”

“ _Костя_ _!”_

_“It’s been too long”_

_“All your fault, you never knew when to stop”_ said the man laughing, Konstantin winced when Villanelle snorted in the back seat.

“ _Thanks for helping us”_ said the man suddenly serious, the other one barked a laugh

“ _You’re paying me money_ _Костя_ _, don’t think for a second that if whoever is looking for you gives me double I’ll sell you fair and square like you did”_ Konstantin laughed hard and boisterous this time

Irina looked at Villanelle with wide eyes, the girl returned the gesture.

“I fucking need to learn Spanish” muttered Eve annoyed watching with attention the girl’s reaction.

“I don’t wanna go, I wanna stay” said Irina feeling dread fill her insides, she reached for the handle of the door, but Eve quickly grabbed her wrist then turned angry towards the front seat

“He’s just joking sausage!” said Konstantin laughing, Carlos joined

“ _Don’t worry pequeña, your father is the brother my mother never had, he saved me then I saved him and we lost track along the line, you’re completely safe”_ his voice was raspy and warm, Irina felt a little more safe and relaxed, allowing Eve to release her wrist. Villanelle also released a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Villanelle closed her eyes and leaned into Eve’s shoulder, her head was hurting… her eyes opened suddenly as the car began to move slowly through the very beautiful and warmth streets, Villanelle bit her lip and stared for a little while, if her head hurt… she is supposed to tell someone, anyone.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“Sister please” whined the girl, the woman rolled her eyes and walked away, the little girl was writhing on the bed crying, drenched in sweat “it hurts” mumbled the girl shaking._

_“Dedicate that pain to the suffering souls of the purgatory”_

_Oksana trembled grabbing her jaw, she didn’t thing a bunch of ghost could care less about her toothache_

_“You know the doctor doesn’t comes until Friday and I can’t give you anymore wine” explained the woman softly, the girl sobbed_

_“But it hurts”_

_“Stop whining Oksana, no one is going to come” the woman closed the door, the room went dark and she continued crying, softly chewing on her blanket trying in vain to soothe the ache._

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

_“_ Irina?” asked Villanelle really, really softly. It was more like a little whimper but she also intertwined the girls little pinky finger with her own, Irina was completely surprised by the small act and turned to look at the blond, taking a chance to really study her:

Villanelle’s face two weeks ago had a radiant glow-y skin that made even Irina -with her youth at advantage- jealous, now said face was littered with red spots and her skin had a gray tint to it. Her hair was a little messy since she also had spots in her scalp and she looked thinner than before, which was already a stretch…

“What?” she asked quickly leaning into the girl, as if to tell her a secret, Eve noticed this and tried her best to listen whatever the girl was going to say –she wasn’t a saint- she really needed inside info, Villanelle was very hard to crack.

Villanelle suddenly had Irina’s attention and her hands got clammy and she began to shiver, it was an awful sensation… being cold in the middle of warmth.

“I-I…” She opened her mouth to tell her that her head was aching badly and her hear was pulsing…

Nothing.

“Umm..:” just to tell her that her neck has a really painful spot that her jumper is constantly chaffing and it hurts…

“You ok?” asked Irina softly, Villanelle bit her lip, she had to use her words, she had to tell someone how she feels… she shook her head softly, almost imperceptibly

“What hurts?” asked the red hair softly, this time intertwining all their fingers together, the blonde looked towards their joined hands and decided just to take a leap

“My head” she finally mumbled, feeling like a whole elephant stopped stepping into her chest. “My hear is pulsing again” she confessed, wincing when a honk sounded nearby, Irina nodded

“…want me to tell mama?” she asked softly, Villanelle quickly shook her head in negation, her eyes growing wide

“She won’t get mad, remember?”

The girl sighed and gave up; her eyes filled with tears: from her headache, from her sheer lack of normalcy, who knows, she just felt like crying all the sudden.

“Ma- Eve” Irina blushed but didn’t reacted another way, especially when Eve just smiled at her

“Yeah?” she asked acting all clueless when her hand was already gripping the pain killers and her vision had the bottle with apple juice localized

“Villanelle’s head is hurting” said the teen feeling actually worried for he sister. She really was… she noticed the blonde was crying now and suddenly she was gripping her hand painfully

“Ow!” she whined trying to pull away, but the panicked grip was surprisingly strong

“Not true, I didn’t say anything, I didn’t-she’s making it up!” Villanelle began to yell scared and Eve had to let go of the painkillers to grab the girl and pull her away from Irina who was looking towards them terrified, her body as far away as possible in the small cramped car.

“ _Better control those kids Konstantin”_ said the man calmly from the front seat

“Stop!” yelled Konstantin from the front seat

Thankfully _for everyone_ Villanelle didn’t even had half of her usual strength so Eve was able to restrain her hands that were trying to claw Irina’s eyes out, besides Konstantin yell had paralyzed her in fear.

“She’s lying!” cried the blond, tears running down her face. Eve grabbed the girl and held her against her.

“Alright, alright I need you to calm down” she instructed, but the girl wasn’t even breathing

“I’m not lying” yelled Irina angry and now crying too.

“Hey, stop!” yelled Konstantin trying to help the dark haired woman.

“She-she-“ Villanelle was red in the face, struggling to take a breath but she was still trying to talk

“I’m going to give you something for your ear, you’re hurting yourself more, be quiet now!” said Eve quickly, putting a sports bottle in the distressed girl’s hand. “Drink” she ordered, Villanelle was shaking

“She-“

The agent, began to tub her hands up and down the girl arms, trying in vain to calm her down but the poor girl was just turning red and tearing up

“Irina-she” Villanelle kept trying to talk but she was just spluttering mumbles

“Honey, you need to calm down” whispered the woman a little urgently “Come on, be a good girl and drink some juice”

Villanelle squirmed until she was facing her and hid her face on her neck

“Hey, calm down, I need you to calm down” said the former agent rubbing big circles in the girl’s back “you’re fine, Irina is fine, everything is fine” Eve was still holding Villanelle’s upper body

“But-she-“

“Villanelle for god’s sakes!” admonished Eve, the girl was still trying to say something and she was just getting more and more distressed

Irina was crying silently in her corner of the seat scared.

“I wasn’t lying” said the girl pouting. The Asian woman looked at her patiently and sighed softly

“I know you weren’t honey, I know” she said. Villanelle of course heard this but all she could do was broke down crying and after 10 minutes she fell asleep.

* * *

Irina was sitting on the bed, her teddy was in her lap. She looked around the room they had been borrowed. Carlos house was bigger than the one before and much more normal, but still they were crammed in just one room with a small bed and two bunk beds. Their bags were under the beds, trying to clear the needed space.

Konstantin was with Carlos, tying ends and checking papers while Eve was sitting in front of her in silence with Villanelle at her side; the blonde was still hiccupping from her tantrum in the car. The teenager rolled her eyes at the baby attitude and honestly, Irina didn’t want to be there, she wanted to be at boarding school, maybe even at the detention center. She could be safe there…

“I’m sorry” was the first tangible mumble that Villanelle managed to get out 

“Vi-” Eve was about to interrupt, thinking about avoiding another nervous crisis but the girl wasn’t looking at her, she was looking towards Irina with a very serious face, so she let her continue

“I’m sorry, I got really scared-“she confessed, her fists were tight against her knees and her cheeks turned red “I thought Eve-

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_They had been at this house for hours, the little girl could feel her stomach churning and revolting in itself over and over. She couldn’t remember the last thing she had eaten… had it been yesterday?_

_She was sitting outside with baby brother, she is supposed to be taking care of him, but he’s asleep, mother gave him medicine before coming, so he’ll be asleep for a while longer._

_She came close to the door, she wanted to see Mama, she looked into the window and noticed the woman immediately; she was wearing an apron and was washing an enormous pile of dishes_

_“Mama” she whispered through the window, the woman glared at her immediately and opened the window a fraction, enough for her voice to carry over without yelling_

_“Where is your brother?” asked the woman in a harsh whisper, Oksanna gulped_

_“He’s asleep mama, he’s just there waiting for me” explained the girl quickly, Tatiana relaxed for a second, then tensed again_

_“What do you want? I’m almost done” she said_

_“Food, please” mumbled the girl extending her little hand, the woman rolled her eyes and closed the window, catching the little girl’s fingers. The girl squealed in pain and when she opened the window again the child ran back to where she was._

_“Stop your fucking whining it’s annoying” her voice rang in her ears loud, the pain in her hand pulsing with every word._

_+_ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 _“_ Eve was going to hurt me” said the girl without breath or emotions in her face

Eve gaped and Irina frowned confused.

“I wasn’t go-“

“I know it makes no sense” Interrupted Villanelle with a lot of emotion in her voice “You have told me a lot of times, but I’m still scared and… it is not that simple” she turned her gaze towards Irina this time “but you tried to help me and you told Eve I wasn’t feeling right and I’m sorry for scaring you and trying to hurt scratch you”

“Why would Eve hurt you? That makes no sense” said Irina suddenly “You just wanted to hurt me!” she accused “Eve would never hurt you!”

“Because everyone has!” cried Villanelle hugging herself, feeling kind of faint and sick at what was coming out of her mouth “Everyone that was supposed to loved me… _hurt me_ ” There, it was out. “My mother never wanted me, my father probably didn’t even notice when I was gone- I-I don’t know how to trust, I don’t even know _who_ to trust” the girl was shaking by the end of her tirade, she was gasping.

Everyone in the room was silent. You could only hear Villanelle’s labored breath; she was really winded.

“Alright-I-I forgive you” said Irina after a few tense seconds with a shrug, Eve was about to intervene when Villanelle started chuckling and threw herself at Irina, the girl only grunted and caught her insufferable ‘sister’

“This is an awful hug” whined the girl, Irina groaned

“This isn’t a hug you just threw yourself at me!” she complained, Eve stood up and rolled her eyes

“You’ll hurt yourself, please be careful”

“Yes, I’m sorry” said Villanelle quickly “I’m sorry for being such a crybaby” she said quickly, her blush coming back with force “I-I-just”

“You’re not being a crybaby” said Eve immediately dismissing the thought “shoes off both of you, let’s cuddle and read something for a while” she instructed.

Irina quickly toed off her trainers and found a spot in the bed, her teddy never leaving her side. It surprised Eve the eagerness to be cuddling and reading.

“You really not mad?” asked Villanelle taking her shoes off slowly, Eve barked a laugh

“Are you getting more and more rowdy to see when I’ll get mad?” she asked, not for the first time. Villanelle shook her head quickly again.

“No, I-I’m just…” what was it? 

Eve waited patiently, fixing herself right in the middle of the bed and letting Irina cuddle to her right side. Villanelle was still trying to put into words whatever she was feeling

“I think I’m… I don’t believe it”

“What?” asked the woman surprised. Of all the things she expected the girl to say…

“I-I want to!” said Villanelle quickly, her words rolling uncomfortably in her mouth “But-but it doesn’t come naturally I have to work into believing it and that’s why I ask… because I want to believe you and it is stupid but hearing you say it makes me feel less anxious” she was speaking slowly, trying to really communicate what she was feeling, and Eve _got it._ The woman opened her arms silently and smiled at her, she finished removing her shoes and quickly crawled to her, blending into her left side seamlessly.

* * *

Living on the run is not exactly a much promoted way of life, and it makes sense when you realize how… boring, hard and downright drenched this life can get.

They had to be inside _all the time_ and this house definitely lacked the luxuries and entertainments the other one had.

The first day Konstantin had kept them entertained by teaching them poker and all the games he knew with a deck of cards. He _is_ Russian, so he knew a lot of games!

They spent the whole day in bed, Irina in her pajamas and Villanelle just in a long shirt and her pull up.

The girls relished in the complete attention of both adult figures, besides the blond had woken up all feverish and nauseous which made her clingy.

Konstantin was shuffling the deck explaining some simple game that was intended for children, Eve was smiling while patting Villanelle’s back

“You look like we’re going to fire you” said the woman feeling sympathy for the girl, Villanelle huffed

“I-I just… can we not do this?” she tried one last time, Eve smiled

“It’s not hard, we’re just talking, we’re already doing it see?” she said, the girl frowned

“I don’t like it” she said in a petulant tone, Konstantin cleared his throat

“Let’s keep the attitude down… I don’t want this to end with time outs and spankings” he said serious. Villanelle gulped and immediately toned down her glare

“But-“

“Villanelle, we’re not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to” explained the older woman softly “We’ll just ask some questions and then we’ll talk some more and if you don’t want to answer its fine”

Some of the tensions in her shoulders left when she heard that explanation… if this wasn’t mandatory then why was she sitting there?

“Right then I’m going” she said standing up

“Easy there smarty pants” Konstantin pointed at her and she felt like a five year old when she sat back down immediately “What did I said about the attitude, we’re trying to talk” she pouted and looking down to her bare knees she felt like three.

“Talk then” _see if I listen_ she added in her mind.

“We could start with some questions” supplied Eve smiling, Villanelle felt like yelling, but one look towards Konstantin made her change her mind and only shrug in response. “The other day I was telling Konstantin I had a cat when I was young, did you had pets Irina?” began the woman suddenly, the red hair was caught by surprise and Villanelle scowled _this was weird…_

“Umm… my mum had a cat too” she said, then she frowned “But she-she gave him away when I went to boarding school so she could travel” Konstantin winced at the girl’s story but he did remember _that_ discussion with his ex-wife, the woman didn’t even took 42 hrs. to give away the cat, she definitely had it planned “I liked him, he was sweet” said the girl smiling, Konstantin glared, _that_ cat had been a wild-horrid creature and he had been so happy to see him go.

“Did you had pets Vi?” tried Eve this time, Villanelle shook her head and shrugged “You don’t peg me as a dog person I bet you had cats” she said, the girl puffed out and shook her head “You had a dog?” she asked surprised, the blond rolled her eyes and nodded

“ _Dogs…_ father had many dogs. Ten at most” she explained, everyone was quiet so she kept talking, because really _Boris was a great dog_ “Boris was a big old dog that would follow me everywhere” her eyes light up a little “He- I think he thought I was his pup, I slept enough times with him outside for him to believe it” said the girl snorting, Eve and Konstantin shared a look but showed no other reaction apart from that and Villanelle didn’t seem to notice what she had slipped, which was exactly the whole point of this. Eve had kind of hoped –and feared- that Villanelle’s abuse had been so constant she would probably been a little oblivious to it and by the look of it she was right; the girl spoke about sleeping outside as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“That sounds nice, how’d he managed to keep so many dogs?” asked Konstantin curious, dealing the cards and helping Irina arrange hers “I thought he didn’t work” he said, Villanelle shrugged too

“I dunno… he was never there” mumbled the girl looking down to the cards he handed her “I never asked what he did” she didn’t add that asking about his father occupations would probably had resulted in quite a beating. 

“I never knew what mum did when I wasn’t home either” said Irina with a forlorn expression. S _leep with his oil company dead boyfriend_ supplied Konstantin’s mind

“She just traveled a lot” said out loud instead.

“If you had many dogs, then your house must have had a lot of garden” said Eve, the girl nodded quickly and nodded

“The woods were right behind the main house and there were two sheds…one where the dogs and I slept and the one that had a good roof” Villanelle bit her lower lip suddenly “Mama can I have some juice?” she asked, Eve nodded and quickly left the room glad to have a moment to compose, Konstantin didn’t raise his eyes from his cards, taking slow measured breaths while pretending to ponder his game strategy

Eve took her time coming back but she had a bowl of popcorn and two sippy cups with cold apple juice so she was immediately forgiven. No one noticed her eyes were a little red.

“How often did you sleep outside?” asked Eve softly, the girl frowned and shook her head, she didn’t want to answer that.

“How bout your house on the inside?” asked Irina grinning “The first school I was sent to live away had this really posh houses but all the children were horrid” 

“It was just a house” said the girl shrugging, there wasn’t much to tell “There… wasn’t much inside. We didn’t have a tv, we had a radio but only papa could turn it on” explained the girl, she munched a few popcorns “I shared a room with my brother” she mumbled “They seemed better off this time around” shrugged the girl

“You have a brother?” asked Irina surprised, Eve raised her eyebrows surprised too

“I have two brothers!” said the girl excitedly “Their names are Pyotr and Bor’ka”

“A-are they nice?”

“Bor’ka is… around 12” Villanelle shrugged it didn’t seem important to ask his age at that time, but she felt silly not knowing “and Pyotr is 5 years younger than me”

“That... that doesn’t say if they’re nice” said Eve softly, the girl hummed

“Umm… Pyotr seemed angry and scared when I last see him, Bor’ka was scared of mama he knew her like I did” Villanelle shrugged, Eve frowned

“What do you mean?” the game was still going while they talked and Villanelle just carried on talking

“She was mean to him like she was mean to me, Pyotr she-she never hurt Pyotr” the girl frowned and turned to look at Eve

“Why would someone love a child more than other?” she asked, Eve gaped and turned for help

“Normal people don’t do that” said Konstantin serious, a little sad. Eve nodded after his words, feeling baffled still at the picture that Villanelle had depicted: The girl had a brother. She had been part of a family and that…. Woman –if one can call her so- grabbed a trusting child and ripped her apart from her family just because she believed her to be dark. Eve didn’t voice her thought but she definitely was happy that Villanelle had killed that woman. 

“They are nice” said Villanelle with a soft voice “Pyotr hugged me” she told them this with a shy and cute smile.

“That’s nice” said Eve

“I never liked Russia growing up” said Konstantin smiling while starting to play “That’s why Irina wasn’t born there” he said shrugging, Villanelle snorted

“Where were you born?” asked Eve curious, the girl shrugged

“A small town in the middle of nowhere” she took a few sips then played her turn

“Was it pretty?” asked Irina, the girl took a second to answer, she opened her mouth and then closed it, then opened it again

“I guess _it was_ pretty… but pretty things never happened to me there”

No one said anything, Irina played her turn and won the round but didn’t celebrate.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, remember how english is not my first lenguague?   
> The other day I found a really funny twitter tread of a father telling a story about his daughter and I just found it SO funny!   
> it's called: The Cebrit -so if it seems familiar- it's because it is. There's nothing new under the sun anyway. xD   
> Have a great weekend guys, be safe.

The second day was more of the same and Villanelle wasn’t as easily distracted from the burn on her skin and the pain in her limbs, she spent most of the day crying and whining at different intensities.

“Sleep” ordered Eve for the twelfth time; Konstantin had swaddled Villanelle after another itching incident and the girl was crying while squirming like a gigantic worm in the sheets, thankfully they held and the girl was just huffing and whining 

“I just want to scratch a little!” screeched the blonde

“I know, sleep” answered Eve caressing the girl’s face. She began to cry _again._ “Honey just sleep” said the woman exhausted, the poor thing had woken up in a wretched mood. She had refused to eat, she had scratched until she bled and hadn’t stopped crying.

“I don’t want to sleep” cried the girl exhausted

“You do” said Eve laughing at the girl antics, honestly, she was equal parts annoying and adorable.

“I want a nap, can we read?” said Irina coming close with a blanket, her stuffed creature and those thick books that she always seemed to find; Villanelle looked at her immediately

“I want a nap if you read” she declared, Eve rolled her eyes but smiled, reading and cuddling had become a really good bonding activity. 

Just like Eve predicted the girl was out after a paragraph while Irina held her own with two whole pages.

* * *

“I’m sorry” was the first thing that Eve heard the moment she opened her eyes. She was still drowsy with sleep. 

“What?” she asked immediately; her brain began to connect with her body. Irina was standing next to her bed and Villanelle was still snoring softly behind her, by the light coming in through the window Eve guessed their nap had extended a little. 

“I-I-…” Irina was just standing there and Eve felt really confused, she sat up slowly, careful not to wake the blond, it had been a nightmare to get her to sleep.

“Are you alright?” whispered Eve softly, Irina shivered

“I had an accident” mumbled the girl confused, passing a hand through her curls and rubbing a fist against her teary eyes. Eve stood up as quickly as she could, being really careful with Villanelle. She inspected the bed and sure enough there was a wet stain in the sheets, just shy enough of touching the blond, _finally_ Eve noticed her own trousers were wet pretty damp on one side but decided not to comment anything.

“What happened?” she asked softly, Irina couldn’t hold the tears anymore and began to cry

“I dunno” she whimpered, her curls flying around as she cried and shrugged “I just-I had a nightmare and-“ she twisted her hands in her damp shirt

“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom” said Eve before the girl could get more noisy and wake Villanelle

Irina held onto her hand like a life line and followed through the house while sniffling and holding back her tears.

In her dream…. everyone was dead. The men that walked into the house hadn’t asked any questions or asked for money, they had just shot everyone and then grabbed what they wanted; except her. She was alive, watching her father’s and Eve’s blood run in the floor.

She had meant to get up but she hadn’t been able. That was the scariest part of all. She stayed frozen in the bed, shaking, trying to hear or smell something and understand where the fuck was she and after a few minutes of fruitless efforts her bladder gave in. She could only shiver in shame as she wet her pants. After the panic dissolved and the shame settled in, she stood up in shaky legs and woke Eve.

“Alright” said Eve turning walking into the bathroom and inspecting the girl top to bottom, checking to see if she was hurt in any way. The girl stared at her with her big green eyes that were all puffy and irritated and her hair looked like a nest atop of her head. “Do you remember your nightmare?” asked Eve softly after deeming her safe. Irina immediately shook her head, she didn’t want to remember. “You can tell me… I won’t get mad” Eve had been doing that lately, she clarified exactly what she felt and the consequences it would or wouldn’t bring; it seem to be doing wonders for Villanelle’s anxiety and maybe it could help now.

The girl shook her head again a little more forcefully and Eve nodded quickly

“Let’s clean you up then”

She helped Irina remove her top and while the girl dealt with her bottoms she got the water in the shower at a good temperature

“Need help washing?” asked Eve softly, the girl was usually more independent but it was fair she got offered the same as Villanelle. Irina blushed

“No-thanks” she said quickly. The woman waited siting in the toilet lid patiently and thankfully the girl didn’t take long “This-this had never happened before” said Irina when Eve wrapped her in a towel, she was red in the face and was violently chewing on her lip

“Well, it’s fine… you didn’t do any arm, remember your father put plastic covers in all the beds the first day” Irina didn’t seem to convinced “It was just an accident” tried Eve this time

“But-but what if it happens again?” whimpered Irina scared beyond belief that maybe this would become a habit

“What?”

“It-I-never”

“Honey, I’m sure it was just that bad dream” said Eve softly, but Irina shook her head scared

“No-I-I was awake” Eve frowned as she began to dry her and pat her legs with another towel, she squirmed, still self-conscious of the whole thing but not brave enough to ask her to stop “The dream...I thought I was in my dream when I woke up” the girl was stumbling over her explanation, not quite managing to describe the sensations as she wished to “I didn’t know where I was and I couldn’t see or hear anything-and-and I just got really scared because my brain couldn’t figure it out”

“Oh… like a flashback?” asked Eve now helping her step into a clean pair of underwear.

“…what?”

Eve took a breath and thought for a second for the right words or at least a simple enough explanation.

“It’s when your body feels or acts… as though a traumatic event is happening again, even when it’s not, you were safe in the bed but your body thought you weren’t” 

Irina pondered this information for a few seconds then nodded slowly

“I-I think so”

“So I guess the nightmare was about what happened back at the house” deduced Eve putting a clean shirt on the girl, Irina looked away for a few seconds then sagged and nodded

“I’m sorry” she said when Eve began to dry her hair

“Why?” she asked making the word long, confused at the apology

“Because…” the woman continued to dry her hair while she talked, that made her feel safe because she wasn’t in the spotlight “Because I’m clearly affected and-and you guys are just fine” Irina had begun to notice that she was far more skittish than before, she jumped when someone slammed something or a loud noise was heard, she didn’t like it when Konstantin turned off the lights at night and she had to held her whimpers back at bed time. “I’m being weak” she concluded.

Eve took a deep breath and removed the towel off her head, she didn’t want to look up, she was sure to see disappointment maybe… pity? But the woman was just staring at her with her small brown eyes

“You’re not weak” she said clear and steady. Irina’s waterworks immediately opened and she began to release all the pent up feelings she had stored since that dreadful day. The girl expected to be left alone to cry off her mood –like her mother usually did- but the woman sat on the toilet lid and pulled her to her lap. “You’re one of the strongest persons I know and so young too!”

“Stop it!” sobbed Irina crumbling “I’m weak-I-I’m annoying and ugly a-a-and I can’t do the things Villanelle does a-an”

“Wait right there” said the woman with a frown “You said a lot of things right now but first of all….Who said you had to do what Villanelle does?”

This time Irina blushed and bit her lip

“No one” she said quickly “I got-I got mixed up” she said trying to patch up her slip

“You don’t have to do what Villanelle does, frankly I think your father would be appalled if you did whatever Villanelle knows” Eve patted her knees and bounced her a little “Look at where we are Irina… he’s trying to get you out of that life forever, no one here needs you to do what Villanelle does”

“Then why he-he doesn’t treat me like her?” asked the girl not raising her eyes from the floor, she hated voicing her insecurities but if Eve was offering… she really wanted an answer.

“I think… I think you should ask him” Irina pouted and grunted and the woman chuckled “But… if you want my opinion?”

“I do” she said quickly “Because I don’t get it” she pouted. Eve laughed

“This jealousy thing… I thought you were over it”

“I-I’m not jealous!” cried Irina “I just… I just want to feel like that with him too” pouted the girl sighing “I just want what she has too… and he’s my dad too” reasoned the girl trying very hard to explain the reason behind her attitude

“Ok you don’t have to ask that part, _I know_ Konstantin loves you” said Eve with a roll of her eyes “You’re the one thing that made him give up his whole life”

“She brought her along though… the plan was probably for just them in the first place” mumbled the girl feeling dejected and pessimist

“I think those two have been through too much” said Eve serious “When I first saw their relationship I was also jealous, because I had been the center of Villanelle’s attention all those days and suddenly Konstantin was there and they really are close” the woman recalled those days with amusement, trying to cheer Irina but the girl didn’t seem swayed out of her mood so Eve brought out the big guns “Just think about it Irina… and I know this is probably an awful thing to say, but those two have killed together”

Irina gulped and lost a little color, reality was sometimes a little hard to digest and at the end of the day her father was the handler of a super-assassin for an international spy organization.

“Villanelle had to trust your father with her life… and he had to do some pretty wild things for her I guess” shrugged the woman “And you and I… well, _we’re part of them_ , Konstantin went for you and I went to Villanelle and in the end we –you and I- found each other too and you are finally getting along with Vi”

“But-but I’m no use…”

“You’re not important to us for what you can do Irina” said Eve cupping her cheeks “You’re important to us because you’re you and I’m sorry if we made you feel like you had to prove your worth _or do something_ to be worthy of love” when the woman said this words she delivered a kiss right on her temple, like she did every day with Villanelle. Irina closed her eyes and let herself be held, _this time maybe more than ten minutes please…_ her mind suggested. She agreed. 

“Can I call you mama” – _like Villanelle-?_ She asked softly, so softly that Eve wasn’t even sure she had heard right. But then she noticed the hopeful eyes the girl was giving her and she realized she had heard perfectly right

“Of course you can honey” she said hugging the girl towards her.

* * *

 _THIS had never happened before_. Mused Konstantin as he searched inside the fridge for the fourth time… but how would a stupid stuffed animal get in there?

 _This_ started 12 hours ago.

It had been a bit of a hectic morning because Villanelle had woken up in a puddle of sick crying her eyes out; they had finally managed to get Irina to share the top bunk and Villanelle went and get sick all over both. Fantastic.

Carlos had left the house before breakfast, calming he had work but if he was anything like he remembered, Konstantin knew full well he couldn’t stand the racket the girls did. Whatever, he owed him too.

“That’s it, small sips” instructed Eve as Villanelle drank a bit of ginger ale for her belly in the lower bunk.

“Come on, we have to clean you up” said Konstantin grabbing all the things Irina would need, the girl was sitting on the bed, cuddling her stuffed animal while glaring at Villanelle discretely-she knew better than to fight at this point- but her trouser leg was stained with sick; at least the top part of her pajama seemed clean so Konstantin quickly helped her out of the long sleeved shirt, throwing it away while covering her with a towel “Come on! I can’t stand the smell” said the man almost heaving, Irina rolled her eyes and snorted, happily trotting to the bathroom.

While he supervised on Irina and helped her change Eve cleaned the bedding and aired the room, actively looking over Villanelle who was still a little pale cuddling her own teddy and sucking her thumb.

Breakfast had been impossible for the blonde who just whined and made faces at everything that was presented at her. Irina got all bored and moody when it was clear there was not a single interesting thing to do and Villanelle was too sick to annoy.

Morning dragged on slowly, Konstantin had managed to find some watercolor paintings that Carlos owned and quickly set the girls up in the bed. They were both skeptic at the whole thing at first but it was clear after a while they were enjoying it, Villanelle even got a little bit of color back on her cheeks from smiling too much.

“I’d never painted before” she grumbled watching the paint trickle down the paper making a mess.

Her painting was horrible, at the beginning it was supposed to be a horse but somewhere she lost track of the water/paint ratio and some paint dribbled here and there… well it was more like a horse-spider-mutation kind of thing on grass that at some point became a swamp.

Irina’s picture was way much better, _those boarding schools paid off_ mused the man as he watched the girl try do a beautiful sunset with all the pink and blue hues that mix in that hour. They were at it for hours, but of course eventually they got tired of it.

While Eve was tending the girl’s lunch Konstantin began cleaning the cards, watercolors and things the girls had left around the room, while doing this he noticed Irina’s teddy was missing. It was something that was suddenly in the front of his mind.

He looked towards the top bunk where Villanelle’s stuffed creature laid and wondered where the other one could be…

He looked under the beds but there was nothing more than their bags. 

Irina had that bear since she was three, it was a small ugly thing his daughter chose over all the others good stuffed animals she had. She had never parted with it and she had never slept without it…He made sure to look around for it again… but it was nowhere in sight, he walked to the kitchen and made sure to ask Eve if he had seen the horrid creature in a very low tone of voice, the woman just frowned, which told Konstantin he had no idea where the damned thing was.

“You haven’t eaten a thing all day” said Eve with a very serious tone while Villanelle was feeling more and more panicky, she didn’t want to eat. It made her stomach hurt, revolt and clench… it was horrible. She shook her head not even opening her mouth to say something. Last time she did that Konstantin had forced a spoonful of honey on her.

_Fucking honey._

“We are not leaving this table until you eat something of what’s in front of you” said Eve softly, very calmly and Villanelle nodded in the same tone; in front of her were a bowl with banana slices and strawberries, a couple of toast slices, another bowl with a diced tomato and another bowl with oatmeal. Eve had gone full mom on this.

Irina was sitting next to her, eating her food in silence but watching worriedly over Villanelle. The girl definitely seemed like she _needed_ to eat.

“You’re not going to get sick, you can’t stop eating just like that!” explained Eve again; somewhere along the line the girl had confessed the sensation of vomiting caused her great distress. She hated it with passion and would do anything to avoid it, apparently that included eating. It was the middle of the day and they had only managed to get a spoonful of honey on her to get her sugar a bit high.

“No” mumbled Villanelle barely opening her mouth, Eve rolled her eyes

“You are not being a good girl” she said, Villanelle flinched and looked down, she was being a brat.

“M’sorry” mumbled the girl “I just feel really bad” and the tears began again…

Time kept dragging on.

Eve managed to get half a slice of toast and a cup of yogurt on the girl, while Irina cuddled and read at her side; on top of dealing with Villanelle’s tantrum against food, _MR. VASILEV_ was still missing and Konstantin seemed more and more stressed about the whole thing. Thankfully the girls were otherwise occupied reading and cuddling than watching him go from one room to another opening and closing cupboards and drawers while mumbling.

It was a stuffed animal, how hard could it be to find it?

When Eve finally tricked the girls into a nap the real quest began.

* * *

Carlos had been in Cuba for 5 years now and he had seen some impressive destruction after one or two hurricanes, but he had never seen such mess and destruction in his house until that Eve woman and Костя lost a stuffed animal.

He had passed by in the afternoon, planning on lay in the backyard on his hammock and take a midday nap but as soon as he saw the state of his house he decided to leave and come back the next day, surely someone would take him in for a night.

“What’s going on?” he asked in the middle of what used to be his living room, all the kitchen cupboards had been emptied on the sofas and all the drawers were out. All his clothes were out of his closet and the trash was all over the floor… 

“We lost something” said Eve casually while emptying the bin in the kitchen floor. He began to sweat. What could they have lost to justify this mess? Drugs? Money? A gun? 

“ _Carlos thank god you’re here!”_ said Konstantin walking into the room with a box filled with files. That box was supposed to be on his locker. It had classified information for god’s sakes! “ _You took a box this morning to give away at church and I need you to go and get it!”_ his eyes seemed a little off and he looked like a right madman. That box he had taken had nothing but food…

 _“What the fuck is going on_ _Костя_ _?”_ asked the man taking his file’s box away from him and putting it behind him.

“ _We lost Mr. Vasilev”_ he explained, Carlos stared at him for a few seconds then nodded

“ _This fucking Vasilev better be a human”_ he turned to look at the mess around him, then to Konstantin.

_“It isn’t, I need you to go and get that box it’s a teddy bear around 20cm tall”_

“ _Somehow I’m not sure if you got more or less fucking crazy after parenthood”_ stated before leaving. _Fucking Russians_.

* * *

Bed time had come there was no way to avoid it.

Konstantin couldn’t believe that the girl had kept her bear for years and in a few weeks with him she had lost it. He had tried everywhere, the bear had simply vanished. He felt like such a failure as a parent, Eve also seemed baffled and exhausted at the whole situation.

Eve sat the girl in bed and began to explain the horrible truth as he watched from a side.

Villanelle was hugging her own stuffed animal to her chest, her big hazel eyes were looking towards Irina who was building quite an impressive meltdown. She had never seen the girl cry _quite_ like so.

Her arm tightened around her stuffed bear and for a second felt really bad about her sister, so she took a deep breath and extended the toy towards the red hair, her bear was dear to her but it wasn’t such an important item like Mr. Vasilev seemed to be.

Irina didn’t want any other bear and she wouldn’t stop crying. She even made Konstantin to show her exactly _where_ he had looked for, which implied _another_ hour of weeping and crying all around the house pretending to look for something they had looked for almost 10 hours straight.

“Come on, let’s get you into your pajamas” said Eve softly after the girl had been crying devastated in bed. Villanelle had already been changed and was tucked in bed watching silently.

“No I don’ wanna sleep” grumbled the girl feeling all sorts of clingy and whiny.

“I know you don’t baby but it’s bed time and we at least have to be in our pajamas even if we don’t sleep” tried Eve patiently, Irina broke down again

“I want-ma-stuffie” she cried. Konstantin sat next to her and hugged her

“I’m so sorry sausage I don’t know where could he be… we looked everywhere!” he felt like crying himself. He literally had looked _everywhere_.

Irina was still weeping but at least she was sitting still so Eve fished out the girl’s pajama to try and change her. Eve moved closer to the pair and right there, in the middle of a house that had been wrecked by two adults who had looked EVERYWHERE and had moved that pajama A THOUSAND times -because it was in the way- Mr. Vasilev was stuck inside, tucked nicely into one of the sleeves that Konstantin in his haste to leave the room pulled tight when he undressed the girl that morning.

Eve looked down to the bear that fell to the floor softly, its beady eyes looking at Eve with –the woman could swear it- amusement.

“Oh” said the woman, Konstantin cursed. 

* * *

Call it mother instinct if you wish but Eve like to think that she was something of a Villanelle expert by now and the moment the girl woke up with a dazed look in her eyes, she knew something was amiss.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_She recognized the pattern in the wood desk before remembering anything else. She never saw desks like those in any other part she lived or visited._

_She gasped and looked up._

_There she was; her image clear as one in real life: Her big curls all over her young face, her big glasses, the chic clothing and even the knowing smirk…_

_“Oksana, are you paying attention?” asked the woman with that whimsical smirk that made her feel like she was out of the joke_

_“I’m sorry Mrs. Leonova” she mumbled feeling butterflies in her belly. Ever since last week she had started to notice that Mrs. Leonova stared at her more than the other students, at first it made her nervous because she thought she could be in trouble and the last thing she needed was a bad report to the house in which she was staying; they didn’t seem like the kind of people to ‘have a talk’ –but apparently that wasn’t the case, it seemed like Mrs. Leonova… liked her._

_The only good thing of the new place was the school. The house seemed to have some sort of deal with the priests, nuns and beneficence and Oksana was now a sucker for beneficence because it had finally gotten her out of the correctional facility into a much more… -what word had the lady used?-… ‘civilized’ institution, even if **she** wasn’t a ‘civilized person’ –her words-._

_The lady made sure she was aware that the institution catered for another bunch of crazy children but at least she was out of the correctional, that place was like jail through and thought. She hated it. She hated being locked in, she had only burnt one floor… two at most and it wasn’t like they didn’t deserve it but truth was she didn’t want to be sent back, so she was making her best effort into being… civilized, besides Mrs. Leonova was nice, she was really pretty and knew French and spoke to her as if she was an adult and not just a 15 year old girl –almost sixteen thank you very much!-, she was a really cool teacher. She’d never had one of those!_

_“I think you’re a very bright young lady you just need to put your mind into it” said the woman smiling at her, Oksana looked at her with her big hazel eyes, did she just called her bright?_

_“What?” asked the teen, almost in a gasp_

_“I said: I think you’re a very bright young lady but you don’t concentrate very well do you?” asked Anna amused and not annoyed -like other adults-, she blushed. No one had ever called her bright or lady before… she had been called many things in her life but never something so nice and from someone so pretty like Mrs. Leonova!_

_“Thank you” she said looking down to her empty notebook, Mrs Lenova passed by her side and bumped her shoulder a little, when Oksana looked up the woman winked at her. The red in her cheeks came back full force and she looked down gulping, pressing her knees confused._

_´++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

Villanelle woke up confused and immediately knew the issue: dreaming with Anna.

Most of the time her brain would come up with horrible things like murderous people, ghosts, her mother or Dasha but _Anna_ was usually off limits, even for her brain. She hated how the woman made her feel… even in her dreams the sensation of confusion mixed with her need of approval was disconcerting. She hated it.

“You alright?” asked Eve after a few minutes of silence. Villanelle hadn’t noticed she was awake. She nodded quickly “Stop biting then” mumbled the woman softly, placing a hand on top of her own that she had been chewing non stop

“Sorry” she mumbled quickly, she rubbed her thighs together and noticed with shame that she was aroused and her diaper was damp. She felt disgusting all the sudden. “Can I have a shower please?” she asked groaning. Eve sat up

“Alright, who are you and what have you done with: -I showered three days ago- Villanelle?”

The girl made a face and hid her face under the sheets

“I just feel yucky” she mumbled. It was the truth. Anna always made her feel weird and frazzled and immensely guilty. The former agent removed the sheet and searched for the girl’s gaze, she seemed out of sorts… embarrassed too?

“Why are you embarrassed?” she asked checking the bed to see if maybe she had had an accident but the bed was dry. Villanelle turned deep red.

“I just want a shower” she begged with tears in her eyes. Eve sensed this was something the girl was not going to budge, so she relented. What harm could a shower do?

“Alright, let’s go” she said standing up. Konstantin and Irina were still asleep, it was probably shy of 7 in the morning.

Here came her first dilemma: every time a dream of Anna comes up her reaction is jump into a scalding shower and scrub her skin raw until everything feels really tender and she can ignore whatever queasiness settles into her stomach for the rest of the day. She realized suddenly she won’t be able to cope… Eve won’t let her be alone, or turn the water too hot and much less…scrub.

She tried to come up with something, her hands began to feel sweaty and she felt more like running out of her skin.

“No-I-I don’t want a shower” she said suddenly, stopping in the hallway. _That’ll be a disaster._ She thought.

“Alright, stop. What is going on?” asked Eve confused and a little annoyed. She could be sleeping right now but the girl tended to wake up in the weirdest moods.

Villanelle flinched and shrunk a little on herself and Eve of course, felt like a dick “Baby-I’m sorry- but I need you to use your words” the woman said this in her most patient but serious tone

Villanelle stayed frozen in the hallway biting her lip. She didn’t know what to say, what a horrible thing to explain. She couldn’t’ even phantom putting it in words… _I’m sorry Eve I had a weird dream with my teacher and I’m freaking out-again-always-sorry. Not going to happen._

 _“_ Does something hurts?” asked Eve softly

“No I-I just feel gross” she mumbled. It was the truth.

“Alright, I get that, then let’s give you a shower” said the woman pointing towards the bathroom but Villanelle stayed frozen

“I-I feel gross inside” mumbles again, this time with a little tremble.

“Why is that?” asked Eve calmly and softly, Villanelle took a breath, then another, then she shrugged

“You gotta give me a good reason so I can help you” reasoned Eve still whispering in the hallway, Villanelle flinched

“I-I do- don’t-I-just-a dream” Eve tried to make sense of the words the girl was muttering, then stayed quiet a few seconds

“A nightmare” said the woman, Villanelle shrugged/nodded. The girl hand never acted quite like this and it made her feel uneasy “Was I in this dream?” she asked first, wondering why the girl was acting so out of character; Villanelle shook her head quickly, she was tearing up now and seemed quite distressed “Do you want to talk to Konstantin maybe?” she asked a little desperate- she didn’t think Villanelle would take the offer but suddenly the girl was nodding, her eyes lighting up.

 _Konstantin! Yes, he knew of Anna, he knew of her hands and her hair_ … and the way she had made her feel special and loved, he knew of the way she had manipulated her and used her just to dispose of her like a problematic child; nothing but a broken toy which useful life had come to an end.

“Yes, please” she mumbled, Eve frowned and for a second she felt more guilt twist in her belly, Eve tried _so hard_. “Sorry, sorry” she added with a few tears

“It’s fine, want to wait here or go back to bed?” she asked. Villanelle hesitated, Irina was in the room and she could talk a lot of things in front of Irina but not this. _Please not about this_.

“No, here please” she mumbled groggy and twisting her fingers, the Asian woman nodded and went back into the room.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guuuyss -w- careful down there it's sad. I was sad this past three weeks, sorry for dragging you down xD lol   
> Anyway- thanks for the comments, I do read them I'm just a very anxious person and haven't managed to answer a single one xD BUT I’ll try -one of this days- thanks anywayssss >:v

Konstantin hated waking up and being thrown into random situations like a crying girl in the middle of a dark hallway at 7 in the morning; these kind of things were so post-Eve it made his head ache and miss those years where Villanelle could kill someone and met him for dinner 10 minutes later. 

“What is going on?” he asked passing a hand through his beard, he tried not to sound annoyed, but honestly it was too early for this. Villanelle whimpered and hung her head in shame “Hey, you can tell me” he said softly, changing his tone immediately. He truly loved these two, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for both. 

“Anna” mumbled the girl before crumbling down and crying on his chest. Konstantin instantly hugged her, covering her with his arms and trying to make her feel as safe as possible.

The only person to ever hold the kind of power that Eve has over Villanelle was Anna. When he had read Villanelle’s file he got curious about this woman that had been so wronged by the girl, he needed to know her to see if she would be a problem later on.

It was clear from the beginning that Anna had led Villanelle with too many lies, promises and vague ideas of going away together, because the teenager had been utterly and completely certain that Anna would leave with her the moment her husband was out of the picture. The scenery that Anna Leonova painted in his mind was quite promising for the plans he had: A gullible teenager that had fallen in love and gone way further than what the woman had intended; it seemed clear to him that she had wanted to keep Villanelle as her pet, as her little fun sex toy but the girl had been too unhinged and damaged, it simply got out of her hands.

He could work with a naïve girl, the kind that never asks why; besides Anna said that all she had to do to keep Villanelle in check and under her command was to be nice to her “ _show her some love”_ had said the woman. Konstantin had thanked the woman that time for sharing how to keep the girl in check and even letting him read through the letters, Villanelle had been a very gullible and needy girl.

The woman –effortlessly staying in her victim role- began calling Villanelle ‘crazy’ and ‘obsessive’, she even used the word ‘psychopath’, that’s probably why a few months later he went and told her that the girl was dead. He didn’t want her near Villanelle ever again.

He had tried to mention Anna to Villanelle when in prison but the girl had pretended the name had never been uttered. The girl _hated_ Anna with a passion he could understand. Oksana had been just about to end school, she had been given _one good last chance_ …if that woman hadn’t led her on and made her promises she didn’t intend to keep maybe the girl would’ve ended up in a whole different place. Anna was the only subject, word and person that could affect her back on those days; not even Dasha seemed to upset her as much as a dreaming or talking about Anna; this time she seemed more affected by her whole family situation, that’s why this breakdown was not only painful but also unexpected.

“Hey, she’s dead, she can’t hurt you anymore” he said softly into her ear. Villanelle whimpered

“But she’s inside me” grumbled the girl, her face flushed and Konstantin winced at her words

“She’s not here Villanelle, she’s dead, she’s gone, it was just a dream” explained the man closing his eyes for a second

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“If she does not takes her training serious then I will kick her out!” yelled the woman the instant he walked into the apartment, he took a deep breath._

_Dasha had called him in the middle of a Tuesday to tell her that Oksana had refused to leave her room that morning, the girl had been under her training for 2 months now so **this** made no sense… _

_“She is taking it serious!” answered Konstantin rolling his eyes and walking towards the girl’s room. He opened the door without knocking, he was her handler after all and it would do her well to remember there’s no boundaries when it comes between them._

_The moment he stepped into the room he regretted it._

_For starters Oksana had access to little-to-no possessions so the room only had her single bed, a desk with a chair, and several books so it wasn’t hard to spot the blond, now he knew why Dasha had called him instead of just beating the girl up –like she usually did- when she considered Oksana was being ‘too lazy’_

_The girl was sitting in bed still in a towel from her morning shower, but her hair and skin were already dry, in her legs you could see at least ten tracks of blood running down, dry and crusted in her white legs._

_“What did you do?” he asked suddenly coming close, Oksana looked up and he had to freeze because he had never seen that expression in the girls face, it was despair, fear, confusion… in her hand there was a razor blade._

_+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

“Can I take a shower?” she begged, Konstantin shook his head immediately

“Absolutely not” he said, swallowing bile at the memory he had of this same situation, the girl began to tear up desperate, she thought _he_ of all people, would understand. 

“But-but-“

“No, the answer is no” said the man serious grabbing her hands, Villanelle froze

“I need a moment alone” she said trying to channel all the adult energy she could find in her and made sure to sound serious.

“All you’re getting is back to bed” said the man shaking his head in negation

“No” cried the girl desperate at the idea of not being able to _release the pressure_ “I need it”

“You don’t need to hurt yourself!” he all but yelled

“I won’t, I’ll be really careful” it wasn’t hurting herself if she _knew_ what she was doing and how to do it.

“I am sure you cannot hear yourself and if you think for just one second this is working you are sorely mistaken” said the man angry “I cannot believe you are asking me permission to hurt yourself” his voice broke at the end “She’s not here to hurt you anymore”

Villanelle began to cry hard again his chest. He hated how much she was suffering lately, everything she had been bottling up was just bursting with pain, sadness and _years of neglect and abuse_.

Eve –who must have been right behind the door- stepped outside looking worried and angry

“I’m sorry-but I think this is also my business” she stated sternly but mostly worried about Villanelle, Konstantin opened his mouth to speak but found himself out of breath when Villanelle punched him as hard as she could in his stomach.

“What are you doing!?” yelled Eve in shocked stupor, Villanelle went white as a sheet once she realized what she’d done -Konstantin was leaning forward, trying to catch his breath and not be too noisy- the girl took two steps back then turned 

“Villanelle!” she heard her name being called but she didn’t stay.

* * *

Eve relaxed the moment she realized the girl had locked herself in the bathroom and hadn’t actually left the house, but her panic raised again the moment Konstantin tried to reach her and made clear that it was **very important** they didn’t leave Villanelle alone.

“She-she’s very fragile at the moment, we need to get her out” he said in between pained gasps, the girl had hit him _hard_. Eve rolled her eyes and bare footed as she was walked to the bathroom and knocked quickly on the door

“Villanelle open this door, please” there was no answer and she began to feel sweat dribble down her back “Be a good girl and open this door, please” she said but there wasn’t even noise behind the door.

“Fucking throw down the door” said Konstantin slowly limping close and making a hand wave for her to move a side. Eve was surprised at his urgency but didn’t questioned and just moved a side.

Konstantin knew what Villanelle was doing or _trying_ to do behind that door. He had seen it once and he never wanted to see something like that again. He threw his body into the door; thankfully it was a very economic-cheap wood door that gave in immediately.

“Shit” said Eve immediately and almost jumped over the sink to get to Villanelle.

* * *

“You’re not even allowed to go to the bathroom by yourself you hear me!” Eve was yelling.

Irina had never seen Eve yell to Villanelle, the blond seemed as surprised as her because she nodded quickly, not raising her eyes from the floor. Irina noticed the girl looked distressed and was crying but… lately that seemed to be the only two moods the girl had.

She had woken up to Villanelle’s crying, Eve’s yelling and lastly her father shouting at her to wake up and get breakfast- it was the holy trinity of her new and fucked up family-.

“I’m up!” she groaned when he shook her bunk.

“Come on, breakfast” he said again, Eve _also_ began to yell

“I’m very disappointed right now” she said, Irina frowned and scratched her head _what the fuck happened?_ She wondered “You’re going to stay sitting in that corner for 25 minutes and think about what you did, and you better have some explanations at the end of that time” said the woman almost literally fuming.

She silently climbed down the bunk, leaving Mr. Vasilev tucked warm into the covers and walked quickly all the way to the kitchen, she noticed the bathroom door was hanging from its hinges and there was water, broken glass and-was that blood?-a mess in the floor. She frowned –she needed the bathroom- and sat down in an automatic mood, her father placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of her

“Eat” he said in a distracted mood, already reaching for the broom to clean the bathroom

“…why is it that waking up with you people it’s always such a jarring experience?” wondered Irina out loud, Konstantin let out a blooming laugh that was heard next door.

* * *

Villanelle **couldn’t** think.

Everything was confusing and frightening. She couldn’t remember the last time she had reacted violently towards Konstantin.

They used to fight a lot, well… she used to fight a lot and he used to take many beatings from her, but she was younger and very much not in control of her emotions, it hadn’t happened quite as horrible in years but he was about to tell Eve what a disgusting creature she was and then Eve was going to look at her as if she was an ugly sick creature, because Anna made sure that everyone knew how sick and twisted little Oksana had been.

She moved as fast as she could to the bathroom, it was a good bathroom –like all bathrooms- white floors and walls, a little plant here and a mirror there. She closed the door putting the safe immediately, her hands working so fast they seemed blurry to her own eyes.

After the door was locked she checked the small space looking for a razor, a blade, _anything_ sharp but there wasn’t.

She cursed a thousand times in her head at Konstantin and his decision to grow his fucking –ugly- beard. She needed something sharp. She whimpered and shivered feeling a sick sensation in her tummy, just as her body craved this, she was also terrified by it.

She was about to give up and break down when she noticed the toothbrushes were placed in a crystal cup. It was a cheap cup -the kind that people keep after a candle is done- Villanelle grabbed it and then snatched the hand towel, she covered the glass with it –throwing the toothbrushes into the sink- and with a swift step on it she felt it crack under her foot. 

She removed the towel to look for the shards; most of them were useless but there was at least one big piece that seemed usable. She took a deep breath and grabbed the big piece with care and walked into the shower –suddenly Eve was knocking- she sat down on the tiles –Eve was still knocking- it was just going to be a little cut, just to take the edge of… it’s just to see her blood and confirm that it’s just hers and not Anna’s… she just needs to see it. Eve won’t even notice! She’s done this before, she’ll clean up just fine and won’t even flinch. 

She pressed softly with the piece of glass on her bare thigh, right in between two chickenpox spots but her calculations were askew; she was used to using razors not stupid glass…so the cut wasn’t as small as she would’ve liked and now it would be harder to cover up… _its fine, not the end of the word_. She quickly grabbed the hand towel and began to stop the blood not without letting it run a few seconds just to see it flow… the door blew inwards in an impressive bang and she looked up right into the panicked eyes of Eve.

“Shit!” said the woman before moving the fastest she had ever seen her move. She could be very athletic when she wanted.

Eve was on top of her in a second and she was frozen, she couldn’t move or say anything, she was just… not quite there. Eve grabbed the towel from her shaky hand and pressed it against her cut.

“What did you do?!” yelled Konstantin angry, Villanelle gasped and noticed all the blood in the floor, it was too much blood… her nervous terminals began to came alive and she began to feel the cuts in the sole of her foot and her thigh and her hand, she hissed and raised her hand watching the thumb that had directed the glass drip blood softly into the floor. _It was just pretty._

“Villanelle, say something, are you hurt somewhere else?” asked Eve immediately in charge _,_ but she wasn’t able to answer, her teeth began to chatter and shivers began to ran down her back “I have to check if you need stitches” said the woman serious, Villanelle _knew_ it didn’t need stitches, really it was just a… “Shit, look at that” Eve said the words really low, if she hadn’t been so close she wouldn’t have picked them on at all; so she looked down and there was way more blood that there was supposed to, her bladder gave in, making her already wet diaper, more uncomfortable as she immediately began to panic. _What did I do? I didn’t mean to…_ “Get me something to clean her up, please” said Eve quickly, Konstantin left the bathroom immediately.

She began to chew on her lower lip softly, her thumb was bleeding so she couldn’t suck on it and her foot was hurting too, a sharp pain in the sole that was causing tremors up her leg but she couldn’t say anything.

This had never happened before. Villanelle was really scared, she had always thought to be in control of her coping mechanisms –a bad as they were- and as deluded as that thought might be. She had never hurt herself and she definitely didn’t mean to hurt herself this much or get into so many troubles.

She began to cry. What else could she do?

* * *

Konstantin was a trained spy, he had served in the army for many years, he was a very good fighter, and he had a lot of experience under his belt. He had tended to Villanelle’s wounds all her career as an assassin, those wounds since her training began included: fractured ribs, split lips, sprained ankles, two minor stab wounds –not Eve’s accounted for- and a few burns of several degrees. The girl wasn’t exactly careful per se and Konstantin could see now that in ever risk Villanelle took she was looking for her own way out.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“What did you do malyshka?” he asked kneeling in front of his charge and taking away the blade that was in her hand. The girl looked at him “Malyshka, why did you do it?” he asked again, he could see the cuts now, they weren’t deep and they posed no real threat but there must have been… 20? 25 maybe? All the inside of her thighs…_

_“Anna” was the whisper the girl gave him. He looked at her and stood up._

_“Don’t tell me this is just you being a love sick puppy!” he yelled, the girl flinched and gulped “That woman is gone, forget about her. This is your life now and if you’re going to let her ruin it again then you’re more stupid than what I thought!” the girl flinched at every single word he said and he felt horrible for saying them “That woman was a bitch that used you, she lied to you Oksanna! She lied to you to have fun and have an adventure” the girl was staring at him with pure hatred. Good, better him than herself “I went to see her, I needed to see what had brought you down and I see this silly woman!”_

_“Shut up!” yelled the girl, her voice desperate and guttural, he snorted_

_“No, she talked to me about this stupid little girl that believed her lies and this little girl was crazy, she called you that you know?” he waited until his words sank in and silently hoped to never having to hurt her this way again “She called you a psychopath right in front of me, she said ‘that girl was crazy I should’ve known the moment she seduced me’”_

_The blond began to scream, deep, wounded cries that remained in his memory for months afterwards_

_“She just used you Oksanna, I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again” he left the room and Anna was never mentioned again and Russian was never dignified with an answer again._

_+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

He had done his best to help Villanelle, he knew he was far from perfect but back in those years if the girl failed then both would get killed. It was a matter of survival.

He quickly found all the medical supplies in the house and went back to the bathroom, Eve had the girl sitting on the toilet lid this time, she was still nonverbal and white as a ghost.

“Here, let me see” he said, Eve moved to the side and showed him the cut, he quickly cleaned the wound and noticed gratefully that it was just long and not deep, the blood was already receding, some gauze and tape would be enough, same to her foot and finger cut.

He took his time disinfecting each cut and checking the girl legs to see if she had anymore glass on her, he could see the girl needed a diaper change and she seemed disoriented “You better take her back to bed, I will clean this” he said softly, Eve nodded and led the girl back to their room while he went out too look for cleaning supplies

* * *

Eve was flying blind in this whole shit show and no one seemed interested in giving her a briefing. 

She took the girl back to the room but she was fuming, from _whatever_ the fuck had just happened and the fact that NO ONE seemed to care if she was in the loop.

“You’re not even allowed to go to the bathroom by yourself you hear me!” she couldn’t help it, she yelled. Usually she didn’t mind that Villanelle sought a little independence in the day, but right now she was hurt. The girl nodded immediately

“IRINA BREAKFAST!” Konstantin voice carried into the room and Eve realized it was almost nine in the morning, which meant she had spent half morning trying to make sense of things no wonder her head felt like bursting.

Eve shook the upper bunk, rousing the red haired girl.

“I’m up!” groaned a soft voice

“Come on, breakfast!” said Konstantin’s voice, this time he was in the doorway looking towards his daughter who sat up equal parts annoyed-confused, her hair sticking up everywhere in a very endearing manner 

“I’m very disappointed right now” she said suddenly to Villanelle, she couldn’t help it, watching Irina look at her made her realize how hard it was to get the blond _to just trust her_ , while the redhead who she had practically never seen in her life was a little more trusty already “You’re going to stay sitting in that corner for 25 minutes and think about what you did, and you better have some explanations at the end of that time” Eve anger only grew at Villanelle’s meekness, who just nodded in silence again “Does it hurt too much? Do you need painkillers?” she asked suddenly, worry etched in her tone, the girl looked at her but didn’t say anything.

You can’t imagine what Eve was willing to pay in that moment for the chance to take a peek into Villanelle’s brain for once and fucking _see_ what was hurting the girl, just so she could sooth her and help her the best possible way but she’s just… human, she can’t do anything like that and more so, she couldn’t do anything because _she didn’t even know what the hell was going on._

“Come here, we have to change you” said Eve putting her temper in check and placing the changing mat on the bed, Villanelle made a mortified face and shook her head. “What?” asked the woman exasperated “Now you don’t want me to change you? I’ll get Konstantin” she said with tears in her eyes leaving the room without waiting for an answer.

* * *

“Villanelle needs you, I’ll stay with Irina” said the woman in a very serious voice, Konstantin looked towards his daughter, the girl nodded.

“Alright… is she well?” asked the man asking for some cues about what he was going to find, he _hated_ being thrown into the unknown.

“I don’t know, she won’t speak to me” Konstantin snorted

“Seriously?” he asked

“What?” Eve was angry she wasn’t in the mood to be teased, the man took a deep breath and reminded himself that people sometimes be crazy.

“You’re jealous”

“I’m angry” exploded the woman, Konstantin threw his hands in the air

“I can’t leave her alone right now but this conversation isn’t over” said the man leaving the kitchen Irina turned towards Eve

“You alright?” asked the girl softly, not really sure if this was somehow her fault.

“I’m fine” Eve took a deep breath and sat next to the girl “What you reading today?” she asked with a smile, Irina grinned and began to tell her about her new book.

* * *

Konstantin walked into the room as fast as he could, he didn’t want to leave Villanelle alone for too much time and he was right to do so. He walked in to find the girl covered head to toe in powder with a horribly self-taped diaper and a clean shirt.

“…It blew up” said the girl immediately, sneezing after a second. Konstantin smiled

“Did it?” he asked softly coming close, Villanelle sat on the bed looking lost; she dusted off some of the powder in her legs then looked up to him

“Eve hates me”

“She doesn’t” said the man standing in front of her “Laid back you put that thing all wrong” he said, Villanelle blushed and looked away

“I was scared… Eve looks a lot like her sometimes” grumbled the girl laying back and covering her face with her forearms, Konstantin froze for a second

“I hope you realize that what you said… it’s completely wrong, Eve it’s _nothing_ like Anna”

“I know she’s not _like her_ I said she _looks like her_ ” grumbled the girl “It threw me off for a second” she confessed

“She’s hurt”

Konstantin wasn’t really sure if the woman was hurt or just angry… but anger was usually a good way to disguise the pain and Eve was putting a lot of effort into this to just _be angry._

Villanelle’s eyes filled with tears “I want Eve please” she mumbled

“I will get her for you, just let me fix this thing” he said chuckling “Did you get powder on the inside?” he asked serious, watching the girl squirm embarrassed, she nodded so he fixed and taped the item correctly “We have to talk first” he said sitting next to her, she tensed.

“I didn’t mean to!” she said immediately, _years_ of instinct kicking in.

Konstantin forced himself to maintain a very calm demeanor, after all the girl was panicking enough for both.

“You did, you did mean to do it because you asked for my permission and you knew exactly what you were asking for” he called her out on her lie and the blond found herself speechless “You have to stop lying” he said.

Villanelle stayed quiet. 

“I want to tell you first that I’m sorry” he started softly but then he picked up his tone, the girl turned to look at him confused “The first time we talked about this I pretended not to care and I hurt you” he said, Villanelle turned away

“I don’t want to talk about that” she spat the words with a rough accent. She hated _that_ memory.

“I failed you that time” said Konstantin serious, the girl looked at him

“If you had coddled me like now we would’ve been dead” she shrugged “At least you made sure I knew the truth… even if it was cruel”

“There’s never excuse to be cruel. I’m sorry” he said this with all the remorse he could muster, the girl nodded

“I’m sorry for running away and hitting you, I hadn’t – I don’t know why I did it”

“You _do_ know why you did it” he said “Stop lying” this time he said it with a warning tone and Villanelle turned deep red and growled

“Stop it I’m apologizing!”

“I agree, stop IT please” he said again “I will accept your apologies but when they are real”

The girl grunted annoyed, she didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“I was scared! I don’t know any other way to cope”

“We have been dealing with all this like a family, we have been teaching you ways to cope, you asked for help, you should have been patient” he explained “Instead you hurt yourself and everyone around you”

She hated that Konstantin was right, she didn’t like this… put down.

“I’m sorry I’m just a burden for everyone and I can’t do anything right” she was sulking now, crossing her arms over her chest and refusing to stop her pout.

“You’re not taking this serious” he said, Villanelle rolled her eyes

“I already said I’m sorry and I am” she shrugged “If you don’t believe me its fine I don’t care, no one believes me anyway”

Konstantin counted to ten, then sat next to the girl and grabbed her hands in his, the girl allowed this of course.

“I’m going to give you a spanking, because number one: you have earned it, number two: you need it, you are pushing your limits and this behavior of hurting others and hurting yourself with no consequences will not do anymore”

The girl began to pull away the second he finished the word _spanking_ and whatever else he was saying went in her right ear and left right through the other without any meaning. 

“No-No-No!” she began to pull harder, but the burst of energy with adrenaline she had experimented early had left her quite tired and weak, she still wasn’t back at her 100% and probably wouldn’t be for weeks.

“I’m going to give you 20…”

“No, no, no” the girl was red in the face, she couldn’t believe Konstantin was doing this. He softly pulled at her wrist until she was lying across his lap, she began to shake “Please I-I’ll be good” she said, but her voice… it was so small and so frightened that Konstantin froze for a second and wondered if he was doing the right thing, but he decided to trust his instincts, besides he was not going to hurt the girl, he hadn’t even bothered with removing the padding, he just wanted to get through that thick skull of her, make clear that _they_ were the ones in charge and that he was capable of taking care of her without hurting her.

Villanelle was surprised at the first spank, it didn’t hurt much, but it made something inside her chest ache.

“You have to learn to be patient” he said after the first two slaps, Villanelle took a deep breath and nodded, the blood rushing to her head and the discomfort piling up a little.

He spanked her again and she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears

“You shouldn’t have run away like that” again, she nodded, it wasn’t like she going to discuss every point Konstantin was making, besides she was too confused to say something because so far this was nothing like the awful beatings her mother used to deliver, she wasn’t bleeding or yelling for her life and Konstantin wasn’t mocking her… she just felt like crying and not sitting down in a couple of hours.

“We don’t hit people Villanelle, you have to use your words” he said that with two spanks and she grunted at the irony but held her tongue because she knew it wouldn’t help to be smart right now.

“You shouldn’t hurt yourself” he spanked her 5 times in that one and she couldn’t stop it, the tears began to pour down, snot and tears ran down her face –she was a certified ugly crier- and the man just _kept talking_

“I don’t want to see you hurting yourself again” Villanelle wanted to yell or kick or _do something_ but she was feeling very overwhelmed and she was beyond words, she was just a noodle crying on Konstantin’s lap

“I was very scared when I saw you in between all that glass” he spanked her hard at that one and she whimpered “I don’t want to tend to wounds, much less wounds self-inflicted” the girl melted down, she really had blown the whole thing with that one and she had scared herself in the process.

What if Konstantin and Eve hadn’t been there?

What if Eve hadn’t removed the glass on time?

She could only cry harder as her punishment continued and her mind began to process whatever had happened in the last hours. This wasn’t like the punishments her mother used to give her when all she could feel was fear and uncertainty; right now she felt safe as ever in Konstantin’s lap and she knew he wasn’t going to hurt her any more, he wasn’t really hurting her at all…

“You have to trust us, we are here to take care of you” he rushed the last slaps until the momentum was gone and the girl cried draped on his lap “I love you baby, please don’t hurt yourself” he said softly, now just patting her lower back.

“Papa” Villanelle mumbled the plea and he quickly helped her sit up and cleaned her face with a nearby shirt –void of stuck teddies-. She clung to him and cried long and hard, letting everything out while he patted her back.

He let her cry for several minutes and when she was calm enough he spoke again.

“Now, I want you to think very hard about what you are going to say to Eve and how you are going to apologize”

“She hates me, everyone hates me” grumbled the girl hiccupping dramatically, Konstantin laughed

“No one hates you”

“I’m sorry, I really am” cried the girl

“I believe you” he said hugging her and kissing her forehead

“You could have believed me before all this!” she whined a blush coloring her cheeks

“Somehow I don’t think you would have gotten the point”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys... yesterday a friend of mine invited me to watch the superbowl... I didn't know it was a whole day thing! lol So I couldn't update :v

Both Eve and Irina could hear fine the punishment that Konstantin delivered –thanks to the awfully thin walls and small spaces- Irina felt really bad about the whole thing and she didn’t even know the reason behind the punishment, she just wanted to comfort Villanelle because she knew how scary it was to be confronted with all your mistakes all the sudden and because she was also familiar with the pain a spanking entails.

Eve on the other side was conflicted. If Villanelle had to reach such point of getting punished and lectured _that way_ then something _really bad_ was wrong but she couldn’t for the life of her imagine what could conflict the girl more than what had happened in Russia

“Remember what you told me about those two having something too deep” said Irina looking at her, Eve nodded then after a second sighed, bit of shame showing in her face.

“It’s hard seeing her suffer and not being able to help”

“Well you’re helping”

“ _How am I helping?”_

“You made sure she’s here with papa, you make sure every day she’s safe and away from everything that hurt her and you have her near you all the time” Irina rolled her eyes “ _You are helping_ ” concluded the girl hiding her nose in her novel. Eve stayed quiet.

“Thanks” she said after a few seconds, Irina just smiled as answer.

* * *

While the girl continued to read Eve decided to start late breakfast for everyone else and while the eggs cooked Konstantin finally came back to the kitchen, this time, with a teary eyed, blushed and dusted in powder Villanelle.

“Why are you covered in powder?” she asked suddenly, as if that was the most important thing in that moment -maybe it was- Konstantin turned to look at the girl as if he hadn’t noticed the mess she had done of her clothes and hair.

“She changed herself” he said chuckling and coming close to the toaster, grabbing a slice and digging in with hunger. Villanelle glared at him pouting.

“Oh…that’s…” Eve didn’t know what to say so she stayed quiet instead and hid her amusement, but the girl misinterpreted her silence as annoyance and since she was still sensible about the whole spanking the tears came quite easy

“Mama” she said whining “ _Please_ love me again” she stomped her healthy foot in the floor just to get her point across, because _really_ she _needed her_. Eve mock-glared at her 

“First of all, I haven’t stopped loving you- you just keep pushing me away!” she said this in a very serious tone and even Irina had to wince at the blatant hurt in her words “Don’t ever think that just because I’m angry I’ll stop loving you” she said coming close and hugging the girl “and _please_ don’t push me away”

Villanelle melted into the hug and wished –not for the first time- to be smaller in size and weight.

“I couldn’t explain” she mumbled “I got-I got very scared”

“I know that, I could see that, what I don’t understand is _why_ ” the woman threw her arms into the air exasperated “You guys just dealt with everything without even _looking_ my way and all I knew is you were trying to hurt yourself and I don’t like not knowing”

No one said anything for a few seconds, Villanelle took a deep breath, she looked up to the ceiling then down to the floor with tears pooling in her eyes and an awkward squirm in her spot; Eve frowned confused at the shame the girl seemed to be exhibiting, what kind of dreams would cause the girl to be ashamed?

“We need to talk” she said grabbing her hand and leading to the bedroom “Please save the eggs” called to Konstantin who just grunted in response.

* * *

While a big part of her wanted to forget all the things she had one in the past, another - selfish and vain- part of her liked to remember what she was capable of _,_ when driven to do it. Villanelle reminded herself of how brave and strong she is _supposed_ to be to do her ‘official’ work; she hoped this would give her the courage to take the leap and just tell Eve what she needed her to know, except her theory wasn’t really working, she felt her nerves escalate and her little-self push forward.

Her little self along with all her –strong- memories left her feeling all queasy and confused but even in this state she knew she had to make things right with mama and explain her meltdown.

She needed to explain many things and it wasn’t that she was incapable of saying them, she just… couldn’t find a point where to start and where to end, what to say, what to save for herself and how to protect Eve’s feelings because in all this hell and pandemonium the only person she had been able to hold onto without hesitation had been Eve –and she wanted to make sure the woman knew this-.

“I didn’t stay in the corner- like you told me, I’m sorry” she said suddenly recalling that the woman had said something about staying in the corner –she was unable to realize if the woman had been serious or not but Konstantin had been _quite_ serious about his punishment, she didn’t want to risk it- Eve sighed

“Forget about that, just… come here please” the woman opened her arms and Villanelle immediately melted into her mama. She made herself as small as possible and hid her face in the voluminous black curls, breathing freely the woman’s smell that brought _so much peace_ , at first sight Eve wasn’t a very touchy-loving person but whenever she got all moody and clingy mama would _always_ let her cling. She wasn’t going to push her away or yell at her like her real mother did every time she came close; that was never going to happen again.

“I’m sorry” she mumbled into the curls, Eve sighed

“Konstantin is right, you throw these apologies like candies…” she was a little hurt and she needed to make sure that Villanelle knew this. The girl pouted

“Please no more punishments” grumbled turning red “I’ll be good now I promised papa” she begged, Eve smiled and nodded, patting her cheek lovingly

“Its fine, I can see he got the point across”

Villanelle pulled away a few seconds later and took several deep breaths trying to generate in herself a little bit of courage, Eve stared at her worriedly

“Are you alright?” she asked “You know the moment you woke up I knew something was wrong” said the woman serious

“I know, I’m sorry mama” the blond made eye contact, she needed to see clearly that there would be no hate or disgust directed at her, at least not from Eve “I dreamt with Ana” the words sounded so simple out loud that she kind of felt stupid for doing all the mess she did. But then came the shame and tummy-ache that kept reminding her that it wasn’t ‘simple’ nor ‘stupid’.

Eve didn’t react in anyway because she didn’t know how to react, she needed to hear more so she sat in the bed and patted the spot next to her. Villanelle sat quickly next to her and winced a little when her tender butt met something solid, she really hoped this wouldn’t become a habit; she took –another- deep breath and looked at Eve quietly, then suddenly a rush of words spewed out of her mouth

“I’m not going to play the victim because I have done too many bad things in life to pretend like I deserve something good” she said this suddenly and Eve’s brain stopped working for a second when she heard -and felt- the depth of the girl’s guilt.

The woman wanted to interrupt that horrible train of thought ...but she also wanted to see where this whole thing was going so she held her opinions and waited.

“There’s a thing called age of consent and I was very much of age when everything happened” the words where barely above a whisper and Eve had to pay close attention because she was rushing them out “I-I was of age but in many ways I was a lot like a kid… I was-like-like I am now-with you-sometimes” the last part came as a mumble

“You mean… Anna treated you like I did?” asked the woman trying to get a clear picture, Villanelle’s eyes filled with tears and she –reluctantly- nodded.

Eve felt her stomach fill with something cold; this wasn’t a story she was going to enjoy.

She remembered Anna like a very ‘common’ woman, just another French woman in her mid-forties, there wasn’t anything special about her and she looked just… ordinary. She felt more dread the moment she remembered the words Anna had said ‘you’re her type’.

“She-she“, Villanelle couldn’t say it she just turned red again

“Take your time, I’m here” Eve wanted to keep the conversation going so she tried channel the fact that she wasn’t pressuring, she just wanted to listen and understand, maybe –hopefully- help. 

“I knew-at-at certain extent what we were doing and I knew it was wrong because-because I was not a kid and I was not stupid… but she lied a lot and I just-I believed her and I trusted her” Villanelle began to cry “In the end all she told me were lies and she confused me and I-I hurt her husband because she was very clear I had to choose in between being her secret pet or killing _him_ so she could be free” _She didn’t think I would do it._

“How old were you?” asked Eve softly, feeling so angry that it was hard to control; lately she took pride in the fact that she was becoming more patient and less impulsive but after the mumbled confessions and shame Villanelle seemed to carry- because a woman that was 20 years her senior had decided to have some fun-she was ready to grab _anything_ and throw it to the closest mirror. 

“The first time it was my 16 birthday… but she had been my _friend_ since I arrived at the school when I was 15” she spat the word ‘friend’ with disdain, knowing full well that in the end she had been groomed and used “She used to make me feel special but I had to make her feel special first…it was always her first” grumbled the girl “I used to do whatever she wanted for a crumble of love… for just a cuddle or a kiss in my forehead telling me what a good girl I had been” her cheeks were red with humiliation and she felt stupid.

Eve closed her eyes as she squeezed the girl against herself.

“Are you telling me that no one did anything to that woman?”

“What?” the girl wasn’t following, Eve stood up angry

“The school? The board? They didn’t have any of those things?” she yelled

Villanelle looked down

“No one believed me mama” it was a whimper, a sad broken admission of how _hard_ things had been. She didn’t have a mother to run and confess everything and ask for help, she didn’t have a father to protect her and teach her to stay away from horrible-manipulative people. She had been all alone against everyone “She told everyone I was crazy and-and they believed her”

Eve was fuming, standing in front of the girl, her hands in fists.

“I-I wasn’t crazy” mumbled the girl seeking reassurance of something that sometimes she doubts, sometimes she dangles in the line of believing what Ana told everyone or just believing in herself.

“I know you weren’t…I _know_ you aren’t _”_ said Eve coming close and cupping the girl’s face in her hands, trying to glue with soft words the pieces that careless people had made of Villanelle

“No one believed me, no one wanted to listen, she was the perfect teacher and she had worked there for 10 years I was just a transferred kid from a correctional facility that had won a scholarship with an essay I made” tears kept falling from her eyes “No one listened to me… they told me I was a smart kid that surely I had planned the whole thing and seduced the poor woman-but-I didn’t mama, I swear I didn’t” she gasped, feeling her lungs pleading for air after saying all that in a fast breath.

“I believe you baby” said Eve with tears in her own eyes

“She told me a lot of things Mama!” more tears fell, this time from both.

“Oh Villanelle” Eve sat down again to her side and pulled her as close as possible, mumbling soft words while the girl cried on her neck “Why did you hurt yourself? How did that help?” asked Eve softly, without judgment just… sadness.

“I dunno” her answer was empty, void of emotions and the woman felt her heart ache

“Please try to explain so I can help you”

Villanelle cried for a little while and Eve allowed her the respite, just holding her close, mumbling some ‘I love you’ once in a while.

“Mama... I dunno” whined Villanelle seeing her crying wasn’t going to buy her a way out of that question

“Are you sure?” asked Eve softly, she wasn’t going to force the girl or anything like that, she was just looking for some trust and confidence. Villanelle hesitated, a shaky breath left he body

“I-I” there was silence, then some anxious squirming “I guess it helps… “

The girl stayed quiet far too long and Eve feared for a second to have set a trigger

“Baby?” she asked in nothing but a whisper, her beautiful hazel eyes turned to her and what once was an inaccessible gaze was just the broken look of a girl who had lost _everything_ way too soon. “Oh baby I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer” she said quickly, she avoided using any name, she wanted to get Villanelle to be calm and not to panic under pressure to be specifically someone. 

“It helps when it hurts in real life and not just inside… it takes me out of my head and it hurts here in my leg and not inside me where I can’t reach and take care of it” it was the only way she could explain it, she wasn’t capable of much right now. Eve heard her and stayed quiet mussing

“So, if we find something to ground you here… while you’re feeling this inside pain… then we can take your mind off of it; we could cuddle until you calm down” she made the suggestion softly, just some words put together, make sure that the girl knows she’s there- Villanelle nodded immediately: cuddles in the middle of the day, and for no reason! Count her in. She wasn’t even sure if it would work but she was willing to try, she didn’t want to hurt anymore, anything but more hurt.

“I’m sorry” mumbled the girl “I hurt you, I hurt Konstantin” she felt sick in her tummy and said so in a whimper, Eve squeezed her a little tighter against her

“She can’t hurt you anymore, she’s dead”

“I know-I know she’s dead” she whimpered and hung her head “But sometimes she’s… “

“Me?” Eve said the word timidly, almost scared to say it out loud, but when it was out there in the open it wasn’t as horrible as she had thought, it was just a fact. The girl shook her head in negation

“No never, you’ve never been _like_ her” the response was adamant and Eve relaxed immediately “Mama I love you” she said in between sobs and the woman just hushed her with love and care

“I love you too, but I’ve met the woman, _I’m not blind_ ”

“That’s different! It was just a little too much suddenly and… she always made me feel so weird” Villanelle winced and pushed through her embarrassment “She made me feel as if… everything in me was wrong and had to be a secret, she always spoke of regret of marrying because if-if he wasn’t there then she would’ve adopted me and maybe turn into my real family and love me a lot but he wanted babies and I wasn’t a real baby I was just a-a pretend baby and that was weird, she couldn’t tell him that she had a freak friend”

“Villanelle-“

“So she pretended to give me French lessons and German and I loved the lessons because I learned a lot, but whenever his husband was gone her demeanor would change and she would ask me to do the most weird things-“

Eve was a little pale and she really wanted a respite from the things the girl was saying but she needed to hear this -to understand what the girl had gone through- she wanted to know, she had asked and now she had to listen no matter how hard it was. Her tears fell silently in the girl’s blond hair, while she –in dire need of letting everything out- took a deep breath and went on softly 

“Sometimes these things hurt… and made me cry and she would be super nice with me afterwards… I didn’t really like it- she-she just enjoyed it a lot and it was when she treated me the best so I-I just let her-let her use me” Eve understood that the need of approval and love was too great in the girl and without anyone to protect her she became an easy blank to someone as callous as Anna

“So she just used you for sex” said Eve, Villanelle shrugged then nodded

“I thought I was smart. People always said ‘Oksanna is so smart’ but… I wasn’t smart”

“Vi-she-she was 18 years older than you” Eve wanted to make the girl realize _it wasn’t her fault_

“I was an adult, they said I-They said I was crazy and I had it all planned, she kept all my letters and they called them obsessive behavior…”

“Fuck _they_!” said Eve, Villanelle snorted/sobbed “Please don’t ever hurt yourself again” said the woman softly, Villanelle wept and let her emotions run out “I can take a little chickenpox spot, but I can’t stand and see you hurt yourself that way over someone that is not worth it”

The girl continued to cry softly against her, she sounded exhausted.

“Can I go back to bed?” she whimpered out, Eve chuckled: she _knew_ her girl.

“Aren’t you hungry baby?”

The girl shook her head and felt an intense need to self soothe and just shut the outside world. That could be a healthier coping mechanism….

“I just want to sleep” she confessed shrugging, Eve sighed she had a million things more to talk over, to deal with, to understand…

“Alright, I’ll wake you up for lunch” said the woman. Villanelle nodded gratefully and crawled back to her spot in the lower bunk that was now cold “Wait come here” said Eve laughing, the girl turned frowning only to meet Eve’s hand covered with wet wipes

“Stoppph!” she whined while trying to pull away

“You look like Casper”

“I don’t know what that is”

“Of course you don’t. Sleep”

“I’m trying”

Eve laughed, happy that she could joke with Villanelle again and that this crisis was a little behind them. She knew she shouldn’t let her guard down because there seemed to be many triggers in Villanelle’s dreams and memories which made her doubt every step of the way; but if the girl kept meeting her halfway like today… then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard.

* * *

“Is she alright?” asked Konstantin as soon as she set foot on the back at the kitchen

“She’s trying to sleep” said Eve sitting in front of him and grabbing the cold served plate that was waiting for her, she began to eat and the man winced

“Want me to heat it up?”

“No, I want you to tell me why didn’t you kill Anna and make it a good excuse” said the woman with barely contained anger, Irina looked up from her book surprised, Konstantin stared at her serious

“We would have ended up dead, she had to disappear, not call for attention”

Eve froze for a few seconds, simmering in anger until shoulders sagged; sometimes she forgot that Konstantin was also a pawn in a huge chess board.

“I can’t believe I sat tea with that woman”

“Well, in the end she got what she deserved” he said, Irina looked back and forth between both adults, she wasn’t in the loop but she wasn’t stupid either, _she had been there._

“Is she alright?” asked the girl looking towards the bedroom

“I don’t think she’ll be opposed to a cuddle buddy” said Eve with a smile, Irina bit her lip nervous, then stood up

“I’ll go keep her company” she said before leaving the kitchen, missing the smile Eve and Konstantin shared.

* * *

Once Eve was out of the room and no one was watching the tears came easily again. It’s hard to change years of a conditioned behavior. She logically knew that everything was fine now and that Eve and Konstantin were no longer angry at her but she couldn’t help to feel the anxiety crawling up her tummy into all of her body but at the same time she was too exhausted to do anything else but cry and suck on her thumb, hoping sleep would make her mild panic end sooner.

The bedroom door creaked and she hid her face under her pillow, she didn’t want to worry them anymore.

“Eve said you were sleeping, but you’re crying” said a voice, Villanelle sniffled

“I’m not”

“You are”

“Am not”

“…Can I read to you?” asked Irina softly, Villanelle blushed. She wasn’t able to pinpoint the exact moment in which Irina had decided to take care of her _too_ but it was equal parts endearing and mortifying. She stayed quiet because saying yes was too painful, Irina chuckled much like Konstantin would’ve done it and sat on the bed “Alright I read and if you want me to shut up you’ll tell me” the girl sat with her back to the headboard and began to read in soothing Spanish, Villanelle scooted closer, until her back was touching the teenager’s thigh.

A few minutes passed while she read, then Irina interrupted herself to lean softly and whisper

“You haven’t stop crying… maybe you need mama?” she asked, Villanelle shook her head quickly

“I’m just a little bit sad” mumbled the girl, Irina pouted

“Just a little bit?” she asked, the blond snorted and nodded again

“It will soon pass”

“I-I don’t like seeing you sad” confessed Irina frowning –they were both too stubborn to admit out loud that they cared for each other but she hoped the point would get across- Villanelle tried to clean her tears as she tried to reassure the girl that everything was fine, but… it wasn’t.

“It’s just-too much sometimes-it’s too much” the girl broke down crying and Irina quickly put her book on the floor and turned to her sister

“Lemme call mama please, you’re scaring me” mumbled the teen in a shaky breath, Villanelle calmed herself down and shook her head

“Just-could you hold me?” the blond turned very red but Irina thought it was one of the cutest things someone had ever asked of her

“Sure” Irina scooted down to hold her less uncomfortably and allowed Villanelle to curl into her side with her teddy digging softly in between.

The blonde kept crying a few more minutes, maybe ten minutes- then she was quiet, playing with one of her teddy’s ears.

“Do you think I’m crazy?” asked the girl in a curious whisper, Irina frowned

“What?” she asked 

“Crazy, a-a psychopath” the words were spat like curses “do you think I’m one? You read a lot of books and have gone to many schools”

Irina blinked and realized that Villanelle was asking for her opinion on something she seemed to be very afraid of.

“I have read a lot of books” mumbled Irina acting uninterested and as if she knew it all. She _had_ read a few books on the subject of assassins and murder investigations but there was nothing in her books that could make her an expert to say if Villanelle was or wasn’t crazy, but she knew what she wanted her sister to believe.

“Really?” asked the blond interested 

“Sure, I don’t think you’re crazy, you don’t have many traits that are listed” said the girl quickly, nodding sure of herself

“There’s a list?” asked Villanelle surprised, Irina staggered

“Well-you know, the general way a crazy person acts, the way a psychopath acts- you’re not one” Irina waved around trying to make her point and Villanelle looked at her pouting

“You haven’t read anything about it have you?”

“You’re not crazy” said Irina instead “I feel safe with you and you’re very smart, you worry about me and Papa and Mama, you’re not a psychopath” the girl listed this things quickly, hugging the heck out of her sister, Villanelle finally smiled and returned the hug

“You’re not as insufferable as Konstantin says” mumbled the blond, Irina rolled her eyes and snorted

“Shut up and sleep baby”

Villanelle pinched her side and she laughed watching the blond hide her face embarrassed

“Don’t tease me” whined the girl softly in a very clingy manner, and Irina knew she was serious

“I won’t, I’m sorry” she hugged her close and began to hum a song she knew

“So you don’t think I’m crazy?” asked the girl drowsy

“I _know_ you’re not crazy Vi-”

“And I’m not evil?”

“No more than me” said Irina with a chuckle, Villanelle snorted

“Thanks for coming to cuddle” she whispered a little humbled and very thankful of having someone else on her side. 

“Its fine, I missed you at breakfast anyway” mumbled the girl thinking that she could do an early nap

“Whatyouhad?” Villanelle kept talking even when her words were slurring, Irina snorted this time

“Oats and toast”

“Yuck”

“Mama is going to force you to drink from a bottle if you keep skipping breakfast” the threat had been uttered these past days that Villanelle had become a very picky eater and so far the threat had worked charms making the girl eat at least half of her plate ever time.

“You’re’possed-tobe-onmeside” the girl was no longer making sense and Irina just chuckled into the blond hair that was tickling her chin

“Sleep baby” she grumbled closing her eyes too and just hugging her sister close “I’ll keep you safe” she mumbled that last part, sure that Villanelle was already asleep but the blond nodded and mumbled a feeble thanks before slipping away into unconsciousness, Irina stayed awake a little longer, making sure Villanelle’s sleep seemed peaceful enough, then she closed her eyes and fell asleep right beside her.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost done I swear! :D

A week from the “Anna” incident things had begun to improve little by little; for starters Villanelle’s health finally changed, the fevers and shivers had gone away and her skin was now covered in dry –less itchy- spots, her strength was almost back to normal and she was looking much better on the outside.

As some things improved others went awry; the night terrors settled in full menace and the girl was having horrible tantrums every bedtime and it was quite impossible to have her sleeping without a good crying fit beforehand.

This time Konstantin had taken the girl to a stroll before bedtime, hoping she would get tired enough to sleep without too much of a fight or at least be tired enough to reach a dreamless sleep –it was an internet suggestion- thank you.

“Why couldn’t Irina come?” asked the blonde carrying a pair of bags with items they had bought in the local supermarket, the bags weren’t heavy… just annoying.

The man sighed as he looked ahead the miles to go before reaching Carlo’s house “I already told you, we can’t call for more attention, you and I already standout”

“Then why I had to come?” she asked annoyed, the whole trip to the store had taken 20 minutes walking -this was not fun- they could’ve taken a taxi but Konstantin wanted to ‘stretch’ his legs –why the hell would he need that she didn’t know-.

“I needed help” he said walking at a steady pace –they had to make it for dinner or Eve would be cross-

Before everything had come down in Russia she was _forced_ to sustain a very active and athletic lifestyle but after these couple of weeks she was completely lost to the world of fitness- she just wanted to be back at the house-. It didn’t help her mood the fact that she hadn’t been sleeping well and she had the biggest eye bags ever and she was overly tired and annoyed…

“But you could carry this by yourself!” she whined, she was just carrying 3 bags of pasta and milk- Konstantin didn’t react, he just kept walking.

They walked in silence for five more minutes when they reached a small park, since the sun was setting people and children began to mill around, the weather was pretty warm and there was not a single cloud in sight. Villanelle looked curiously, it was a very beautiful place and she hoped one day be able to come back and truly _enjoy_ whatever the island had to offer.

“…Can I have an ice cream?” she asked while passing an old man that was selling ice cream cones –lately she had been forgetting bit of her adult responsibilities like carrying money, she wasn’t sure she like that in a situation like this.

“No sugar for you” answered the man picking up his pace without even looking at her; this was a **bedtime** stroll, ice cream would be a disaster.

Villanelle blistered and stopped walking; glaring at the retreating back of her caregiver. She looked around cautiously and began to consider the possibility of stealing one cone form the surrounding children… _what could they do?_ –she reasoned.

She took a step forward and suddenly Konstantin’s hand had her forearm in a grip “No” his voice was very stern “-whatever you were thinking- JUST NO” he said and pulled her along “we don’t have time for this, we have to get this to Mama so she can cook dinner” he explained, the word mama made Villanelle pout immediately 

“This is stupid, I didn’t want to come”

“I’ve heard you” said the man trying to hide his annoyance. He fixed his grip to a more comfortable hold and led her a few more steps but her patience was reaching her limit: she was tired, hungry, annoyed and the heat wasn’t helping and her head was hurting… the list went on and on in her mind.

“My feet hurt! I don’t want to walk anymore” she stated, releasing the two plastic bags she had been carrying.

A few people turned to look at them as the products fell and Konstantin awkwardly smiled as he hastily picked up the items.

“There, I’ll help you with these, let’s go” he said quickly, as if everything had been a misunderstanding- he wasn’t in the mood to chastise Villanelle, the girl had been having a hard time as it was and he wasn’t interested on threats and punishments - he just wanted to reach the house before the impeding and daily tantrum got too big.

“I’m not going to walk” said the girl with the most stubborn pout Konstantin had ever seen in her. He sighed, apparently the tantrum was already here. 

“Why not?” he asked, it was pretty impossible to negotiate with a moody Irina or Villanelle but he always tried to raise to the challenge

“My head hurts and it’s too hot- I want an ice cream and- I didn’t want to come- I just- I just want to sleep” whined the girl stomping her foot, Konstantin hugged her to his side and kissed her forehead -he was a sucker for whiny Villanelle -he awed at her and even rocked the girl a little… then he caved in- like any father would have- at least that’s what he told himself later.

“Alright… you can have an ice cream if -and only if- you promise not to tell Eve” he said, the girl frowned

“Konstantin I’m not a _real_ child and even if I was we don’t explode if I we eat ice cream” she said with a deadpan face, sometimes she couldn’t believe the lengths her papa went… 

“Just-don’t tell Eve” he repeated carefully, the girl snorted and nodded, it was just ice cream what harm could it do?

* * *

Konstantin wasn’t one to have regrets in life… but he really wanted to kick himself that night –as Villanelle cried for the second hour straight- from a tantrum and sugar crash.

“If you don’t calm down you won’t fall asleep” mumbled the man softly to the girl that was curled up into a tight ball with her teddy and a blanket in the living room.

Eve and Irina had kicked them out of the room after Villanelle confessed having eaten a huge ice cream cone in her afternoon excursion- not only ruining her appetite for dinner- but also causing her to stay up hours after her usual sleeping time, ending in an impressive moody meltdown when she finally was overtired and over-emotional.

The Asian woman reasoned that since he had bought the ice cream he had also brought this on himself: he had to deal with the crying and tired girl away from their other tired _but willing_ to sleep girl and while the point of exhaustion for Villanelle came the big Russian was trying to catch some sleep sitting on the small sofa while the girl was lying in the bigger one just a few steps away, curled tight and _still_ crying.

“I just can’t sleep!” she whined in the middle of her sniffling, her poor stuffed animal was squished between her arms, this was terrible, all her life sleep had been a welcome rest for all the crazy shit she managed to do in the day and suddenly she killed her mother and everything went to hell. Well, karma it’s a bitch, _point taken._

“You can, just stop talking and close your eyes” Konstantin really felt every year of his life in that moment -he just wanted to sleep- if Villanelle declared herself a reptile in that moment he would also recommend she’d stop talking and close her eyes.

“I can’t!” whined the girl sitting up and groaning, the man ignored her in the hopes the girl would lay back again, but there was no such luck “This is stupid!” she said suddenly taking fists of her hair and pulling tight.

Villanelle had the clear image of her little brother back in Russia hurting himself and she found herself almost doing the same, rocking a little, frustrated, scared and confused- _this_ was the darkness her mother talked about, but it didn’t came from her or Bor’ka it was in Tatiana herself poisoning the weak and lonely.

A pair of warm hands covered her own after a few seconds later and pulled them –softly but firmly- away from her hair, settling them on her knees. 

“Stop” said the man softly, she began to breathe fast and tears came quickly

“I can’t” she whined desperate “I can’t sleep- she ruined it all, I ruined it all, I let her darkness consume me and now I can’t ever sleep again” the girl began to panic, the possibility of never sleeping again was suddenly _very real_ even if she knew it to be impossible _._

Konstantin stood up and turned the lights on, then came back quickly and sat next to the girl; he hugged her to his side and patted her back softly, then he began talking…

“Once we get back to London, you and Irina-“ he made a pause “We, _we are all_ going to seek therapists, real help with professionals and people ready to-“

“I’m not crazy!” said Villanelle suddenly, throwing his arm away and standing up; she had gone from a scared creature to a murderous woman in less than 2 seconds. The change was so sudden that Konstantin’s body reacted against his will making the hair in the back of his neck stand up and a shiver run down his back. The blonde glare was very determinate, her tears forgotten.

“I never said that” he stood up –very slowly- and raised his hands in a placating manner, the girl crossed her arms still ramrod straight, she was breathing fast

“You want to lock me in a psychiatric ward” she accused him, he relaxed his hands and shook his head.

“I don’t” he said softly, her shoulders relaxed a little and her angry glare turned a little confused

“You want to get rid of me!” she declared, the man smiled and snorted softly

“If I had wanted that I don’t think we would be here”

“…Maybe I was supposed to die in the robbery” she said angry, Konstantin stopped smiling and turned very serious

“Are you saying you don’t trust me?” he asked, Villanelle froze again but this time it wasn’t in anger, it was dread spilling into her tummy making her feel heavy, she squirmed in her spot and her angry stand quickly became just her normal -squirmy self- stand.

“You said I’m crazy” she said feebly -one last accusation- just to be clear on the subject.

“I did not. I was telling you that as soon as we get to London _we are all going to seek help_ , that includes Irina, Eve and I” he explained again –slowly- hoping to get his point across, the girl frowned

“Seek help?” she repeated dejectedly, she didn’t want to seek anything, she just wanted to go on with her life and grow out of this… whatever the hell this was.

“Why not?” asked the man walking to the kitchen and grabbing two mugs “Come sit, I’ll make tea” he called, the girl came close a little stiff after all that rush of emotion and now confusion

“Because- I don’t want more tests Eve said I’m not crazy” she said quickly “I can wake her up and make her tell you” she began turning with clear intentions of seeking her vouching person.

Konstantin looked at her –leaving the mugs and tea for a second- then smiled

“I know you’re not crazy”

“You do?” asked the girl surprised, then she cocked her head to the side “but you always took me to those shrinks…”

“Those people were to measure how ready you were to follow orders and how blindly you would follow them… it had nothing to do with your mental health, maybe your mental state but none of those people could truly call you crazy”

Now this…. was _mostly_ true, although some of the people they saw did use the words “traumatized”, “vulnerable” and “not-quite-right” the Twelve personnel focused more on what the girl _could do_ and cared not about _why_ or _how_. Regardless of that -to be fair to Villanelle and everyone out there- the word ‘crazy’ gets thrown around _a lot_ on absolutely no grounds to stand.

However, Konstantin could understand where the girl was coming from; it wasn’t just one person that had called her “crazy”: it went down to her mother, her manipulative lover, her mentor, the twelve personnel, probably a few bullies at the orphanage and school, definitely people around her in the correctional and in the end all the girl had on her side were three people; all seemingly equally unhinged or accused to be so.

“You’re not crazy” he said pointing to a chair, Villanelle sat down again slowly and put her head in between her hands in a very desolated manner, then her shoulders began to shake and he softly came close hearing her sniffles “What is it now?” he asked with a bit of amusement – _I should have picked a boy-_ he mused amazed at the girl’s mood swings. 

“You said I’m not crazy-but-but I think maybe I am” she confessed “Eve and Irina also say I’m not crazy but I think they also got it wrong” she spoke quickly and in a frightened tone and Konstantin realized that she truly believed this…

“Really?” asked the man interested- raising an eyebrow, Villanelle nodded quickly

“They just- don’t see- that I’m crazy” she whispered all this information as if confessing a long-lived misunderstanding

“Why do you think they don’t see?” he asked curiously, the girl mused his question for a few seconds 

“Because they love me and sometimes people that love you only see the things they want to” she explained, then she awkwardly shrugged “I read that somewhere” she explained

“So we all… love you” he repeated, the girl brushed a few tear tracks that had dried in her cheeks and were suddenly itchy; then she nodded solemnly 

“And we are all here taking care of you right?” he asked walking towards the now boiling water and poured it in the mugs with the little tea bags while he waited for the answer.

Villanelle nodded again serious, mumbling a soft ‘yes’. Konstantin put a cuppa in front of her “Careful, it’s hot” he said.

They stayed quiet for a few minutes, crickets singing happy in the hot humid weather.

“If we are the people that love you… we will not lie to you” he took a deep breath then-“I’m sorry that people that didn’t really love you got their hands on you first, I’m sorry everyone made you feel like there was something wrong with you, sometimes-me included”

Villanelle looked down, her hands went down to her lap again.

“But you said something important… _we are_ the people that love you” he smiled sadly “we see you as you are; yes you are having a hard time but that’s why we are going to look for help and we-“

“We’ll do it together?” finished the girl with a broken voice, Konstantin nodded

“Yes, we will do it together, we will not send you away, we will not lock you anywhere and we are not going to lie to you about something as serious as your health”

He made this promises gravely, conscious –maybe- for the first time that he was Villanelle’s most important caregiver-heck- some bank accounts were still at his name, considering him as handler of _her_ money… legally in all senses he was her father.

He was the one responsible of getting Eve involved in their lives and he was the one seeking a better life for himself and his… daughters.

“I’m very tired” mumbled the girl looking down to the table

“I know” he said, then he yawned “I’m very tired too” he confessed

“I guess that’s why we left” mulled the girl sipping her tea softly, Konstantin realized the girl wasn’t just talking about tonight… she was talking about everything: the abuse, the ‘adventures’, the crimes and intrigue, the murders, adrenaline and pain; all that came with their lives and had finally caught up with them.

Thank the heavens Villanelle was still young – thought Konstantin smiling quietly to her; he knew he still had a few years ahead of him, decades if he put up the effort; but he had done too much… maybe Villanelle could still get a shot at that normal life she so wanted once.

“Yes, I think you are right” he concluded.

Both Russians continued to drink their tea carefully, content in the silence they had procured.

* * *

Konstantin woke up to the sound of pans and dishes moving in the kitchen, he opened his eyes and pain immediately assaulted his neck; he had fallen asleep half-sitting with Villanelle half-draped on top of him, her right hear firmly pressed to the rhythmic sound of his old-beaten heart.

He groaned painfully and Carlos winced from the kitchen when he noticed; the position definitely looked uncomfortable. Irina was also nearby, sitting in the table with her head resting in her arms as she tried to fully wake up and waited for Eve or anyone to cook her breakfast.

“Come on, wake up malyshka” grumbled the man trying not to move too fast. Villanelle groaned immediately but instead of waking up she pressed closer and plunged her thumb into her mouth, finding a soothing rhythm immediately.

Konstantin rolled his eyes – _of course she’s a heavy sleeper now_ -. He heard Eve come close and quickly sent her a look asking for help, he had paid his penance, in the end he had managed to get the girl sleep until 3am, probably getting 5 –very uncomfortable- sleeping hours.

Eve leaned close and mumbled something in Villanelle’s hear, the girl groaned again but this time –instead of playing sleeping beauty- she grabbed her blanket and bear and sluggishly stood up, walking like a zombie back to their bedroom with the older woman leading the way.

He stood up and stretched, pooping every joint that would cooperate.

“ _You’re too old for this life man_ ” said Carlos snorting, coming close and handing him a cup of coffee, Konstantin nodded

“ _I know I know”_ he said chuckling

“ _Things we do for family eh?”_ asked the man and Konstantin nodded serious.

“ _Yes, family”_


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.   
> So this chapter just kept going and going and suddenly I had 14 pages, it was an editing nightmare, so for my sake -really- I chopped it in 7/7 :v sorry. 
> 
> Thanks for all the reviews :')   
> Its been a reaaaaaaally shitty week, you helped <3

Few days later, they were called to a briefing in UK’s embassy by no other than Carolyn.

There had been no secret code, mystical postcard or mysterious messenger, a simple text came in the middle of breakfast in the burner phone with just the place and time.

While in the middle of breakfast they began to discuss what time to leave and the possible outcomes of the meeting -there was even talk about not going- Villanelle and Irina were the only voices on the matter, they had grown comfortable in the place -why leave- but of course, they were speaking out of fear and not convenience, both girls couldn’t keep staying in that small space for much longer without killing each other

Irina was convinced the whole thing was a ruse to get them to trust and imprison them but her father was pretty adamant that a deal would be agreed upon and to take some paranoia and fear out of everyone’s minds he explained why he _knew_ that Carolyn would cooperate or at least offer some alternative to a life of hiding and running.

Konstantin was had always been a hard-working man. As a young agent his efforts took him further than any of his peers could imagine; he knew how to move through the lines, work, survive, earn and thrive; but he also knew how to listen, manipulate, spy, lie and cheat- those things came easy to him, it was something he could do -like people can sing- he could lie and tie seven different lies to that lie in a minute… he knew the game he was playing was dangerous so right from the beginning he made sure to have as many safeguards as possible.

He wasn’t Voldemort, he couldn’t split his soul in seven pieces to stay safe but he tried his best to have the right information, the right favors in the right places and be in the good sides of the right people… it wasn’t as easy as it sounds; because when you keep going higher you realize the good and the bad people sometimes are the same but they are seating on opposite sides of a table.

In any case, Konstantin had been doing _something_ right, because… here he was.

He took notice of the powers that play- when young and later in life when his role got involved with Villanelle’s he saw an opportunity that was simply too good to pass; so every so often he would offer the girl’s services when the target would benefit _someone else_ a part from the Twelve.

There aren’t many coincidences in the world, but when you grow money, power, sex or drugs, targets tend to reduce and attract attention from all sides; that’s when Konstantin took advantage of his connections. He would receive the file from the Twelve _months_ prior to Villanelle’s involvement, he would like to say his job was more glamorous and straightforward but paperwork is something that has polluted all worlds.

Once he received the file, he would have to get in contact with many others; these people were everyone working behind Villanelle, the people with the surveillance cameras, the locking and opening door access, the ones who made all the fake id’s, passports, diplomas, certificates, tickets, badges, uniforms, costumes and whatever the hell the girl would need to commit the crime, so in his acrobatics to fix everything around someone’s death, he would also get enough time to look into powerful people that could benefit from simply _knowing_ of the demise of the victim to actually want it.

He double crossed some people and betrayed some other in the way… he wasn’t one to live with regrets. He had paid his consequences.

Carolyn Martens was a very powerful woman; he wasn’t at all conscious of how high in the power scale she was… the only thing he was very aware of is that his involvement with Carolyn dated from more than 20 years ago –and leaving the mind-blowing sex a side- **of course** her interests had aligned with the Twelve.

The MI6s agent interest had in fact aligned with the Twelve’s intentions in more than one occasion, sometimes it was information that she wanted from the victim, sometimes it was the victim itself that would benefit her, on the rare occasion she would ask for certain items or files that would –probably- incriminate her or put her in a hot spot the moment said person died– but he wasn’t one to ask reasons, he just provided what was asked and she played her pieces well.

To the question ‘how?’ the answer was plain simple, before the girl went on her mission he would ask her to either retrieve certain object, file, photo, piece of paper, laptop, cellphone, usb –whatever- or ask said person the information that was required and make a simple audio file -after all there’s no one more truthful than someone who’s at gun point -and if the guy just wanted the other guy dead… then there was no further instructions to give.

Konstantin had helped Carolyn a lot through the years, he had helped her in the messy disposal of Aaron Peel who was just for her own personal benefit and a few other kills ‘off the record’ Villanelle had handled –she hadn’t climb her way to the top in a place as callous as MI6 being a Goody Two-Shoes- .

The blond didn’t seem surprised, like Konstantin she wasn’t one to ask questions, she only did what she was told. At the end of his explanation Eve was a little more hopeful that things could be fine but Irina and Villanelle were too nervous and scared about the whole thing so the man made a suggestion that would impact the rest of their journey: both girls were to be out of the negotiations and planning of the trip back to London; everything would be in charge of him and Eve and they weren’t even going to show to the meeting in case something _truly_ went amiss.

To everyone’s surprise Eve agreed wholeheartedly on the matter; it had to be clear that this turn of events wasn’t about control or authority, it was because all these procedures and situations were affecting them emotionally and mentally and –in her opinion-it was in their best interest to be shielded away from these things.

Irina wanted to talk back and tell them that she deserved to be involved in the whole thing after all she was almost an adult and she wanted a say in the matter- she also wanted to beat Villanelle to the punch but to her big surprise instead of getting angry and yelling –like she expected-, Villanelle’s shoulder’s sagged in relief and she could see in her glassy eyes that she was _very grateful_ for not having to go to that meeting.

A shiver ran down her back a she –began to- realize how affected and truly damaged the blond was because of this life style and how desperately she wanted to be away from it.

Her father and Eve were putting themselves in the front line so that even in the direst circumstances there would still be a chance she and Villanelle could escape. The teenager felt her eyes fill with tears and she kept her mouth shut, accepting the risks they had decided to take to protect them. 

Carlos agreed to stay in the house that day and make sure the place stayed in one piece although both girls were too nervous to fight or do anything else but to cuddle in the couch and wait for them to come back.

* * *

As the taxi drove them to the embassy Konstantin cleared his throat and turned to look at the woman

“Listen… I know we sometimes see things differently” Eve turned from her own daydreaming/worrying and looked at him confused

“What?” she asked

“I think so far we have done good work of taking care of Villanelle and Irina” he said, the woman nodded quickly, catching on the conversation immediately “Sometimes we have our… discussions on how things should go but I really want to reach a middle terrain on this” Eve assumed the Russian meant _middle ground_ and nodded wholeheartedly; she opened her mouth to agree but before she could say something the man raised his hand and continued talking “I wanted to take a moment to thank you for taking care of Irina as if she was your own, I know she is a hard-to-get kid and the fact that you two made a connection gives me peace”

Eve had the grace to look a little abashed, she wasn’t expecting such a sentimental speech; the man was usually only that way towards the girls.

“Sure!” she said after a few seconds, then she smiled “I think It would’ve been impossible reach this point and not like Irina” said the woman honestly “She’s a great kid”

Konstantin’s eyes shone with praise as he nodded

“So… I wanted to talk about-Villanelle’s future, have you talked to her?” he asked, Eve shook her head and shrugged

“Lately she’s been so hung up in the past I didn’t want to put more pressure in her”

The man nodded, she was right –with this whole rollercoaster of situations they had been living… it was impossible to sit down and plan a new life with hopeful eyes.

“Well… we’ll talk to her as soon as we are settled, but I want to stay together for a while, I want to be there for her… maybe convince her to go back to school, maybe get a degree” said the man looking towards the front and trying to hide that his eyes were shining with tears “I really would like to see her do that” he said, then he coughed and cleared his throat “I hope Irina and I can fit in with you two, she really likes you and I don’t want to take this away from her”

Eve began to chuckle.

“Of course she fits in with us! And you fit in too! Stop begin so melodramatic, this is where Villanelle and Irina get it from!” said the woman laughing

“I am being serious!” said the man annoyed but mostly embarrassed, Eve sobered up quickly and shook her head amused 

“Villanelle _loves_ you and if you think for one second that she won’t throw a fit for you as she would for me, you’re sorely mistaken. She would be devastated if something happened to you” the woman smiled again then said serious “And I want to stay close to Irina a little while longer, help her deal with her mother and maybe see her go back to school too”

“Separating the girls would be wrong at this point” said the man, Eve nodded

“I agree”

“Good, I just wanted to be clear on that and thank you-for- well you’ve been a tremendous help”

Eve looked away

“Are we going to die or something? Is that why you’re being all sentimental?” the man chuckled

“No, I just- this morning when you supported me on leaving Villanelle and Irina out of this but putting yourself in danger, I realized how much you’re putting into this and I wanted you to know that I appreciate it” 

“Right…” Eve never blushed, it wasn’t something becoming of her, but here she was. The man chuckled amused. 

“Relax, it’s over-we’re almost there”

* * *

Eve was surprised –to say the least- to see how normal and formal the meeting seemed, Carolyn always had a tendency to make things seem surreal but there was nothing odd in the small desk and simple –but elegant- office they had been led by some officers.

Things seemed peaceful enough, there was no shouting and she was not handcuffed so those were all good signs.

“You don’t seem happy to see me” said Carolyn in a serious tone and Eve staggered for a second, her eyes blinking rapidly

“I-I’m sorry?” she asked with barely contained amusement

Carolyn showed no signs of being offended and the Asian woman wondered –not for the first time- if the woman was _ever_ serious.

“Hi Carolyn” said Konstantin quickly coming close and picking a chair, the woman made gestures with her head for them to sit and so they did.

There were four chairs in total, they sat with one empty in between; then they stayed quiet for a whole entire minute -Eve counted-.

She cleared her throat “I’m sorry, are we waiting for something?” she asked, Carolyn blinked

“Yes of course, I was under the impression that Villanelle and Irina were with you” she said, Konstantin spoke this time

“They are with us but they will not be part of any negotiation” he said, Carolyn frowned

“While I can certainly leave Irina to the side… being underage and all, I feel pressed to insist that Villanelle is present” she closed a carpet as if saying ‘this is pointless without her’

“She’s not coming” said Eve “She’s not going to do this anymore”

Carolyn raised a pretentious eyebrow and the Asian woman really wanted to throttle her.

“Is she now? Has she finally learned to do something else?” she asked with evident mirth in her voice, Eve felt her blood boil but Konstantin spoke before the she could blow all negotiations to hell.

“I think we can agree that Eve and I are enough assets to win from whatever we come to an agreement and you owe me quite a lot of favors, enough to let this go” he said

Carolyn stayed quiet a few seconds. Eve spoke again more controlled

“You need to let her go Carolyn, she won’t do anything else and whatever you say won’t change our minds”

“You sound extremely sure she has changed- Eve, there’s something you have to understand _she was raised for this_ … like those dogs the police uses” the woman sounded amused

“If all you want is Villanelle then this conversation has no need to go further” he said “I won’t have you insult her” 

“Villanelle it’s not _ALL_ I want, but she is definitely a factor on this”

“Well, we are telling you that’s not going to happen” Eve wasn’t going to budge, she had made a promise to the blond that morning, _she was not going to come back_.

“I _need_ Villanelle” said the woman in a rare demonstration of anger “You can’t just expect her to walk away from the reputation she built!”

“That reputation was built on abuse and lies!” said the Asian woman finally showing her anger

“I did not train the woman, I don’t care why she does what she does Eve, all I care is she is _useful_ in ways you two are not”

Konstantin stood up.

“She has done enough for you!” he yelled, his fists were shaking and Eve was surprised at the angry tone he had used; it was clear to her now that she had _never_ seen the man truly angry – “You know she has done enough! She handled Dawson and Peel, she found those missing files you were looking for and that last promotion a few years ago- she definitely helped- I am not stupid” the man grabbed his chest at the end of his heated speech and the Asian woman was suddenly worried he wouldn’t be able to handle the stress.

Carolyn stared at him with a look that gave absolutely nothing away; the woman was impossible to read; he should know, he tried for almost 15 years.

“Sit down Konstantin, I expected the theatrics from Eve, not from you” she sighed, then opened a few folders left and right from her spot, Eve looked at him and waited quietly until he sat back down.

“So, you don’t care for her like a daughter” taunted Carolyn smirking, the man sighed

“You know as well as I do why I could not get close”

“Since when those rules stopped applying?” asked the woman cold, unmoving. Konstantin blinked

“The moment we walked away Carolyn-we…well **she** specifically will not be doing any more work”

“I’m supposed to trust you then on the fact that she will behave from now on?” asked the woman with incredulity her tone “I won’t be dealing with messes or re-lapses on her habits”

“She’s trying to leave this life behind” explained Eve “it’s not- she’s not addicted to killing” she was really starting to lose her patience with Carolyn, she didn’t remember how cold and detached she could be and especially it was hard to grasp that they were dealing with a woman that would justify any means to reach her goals. 

“Again… it’s just your word, you want me to trust you and bring a psychopath back to London where I’ll probably have to deal with her mess”

“We’re helping her, we are going to help her have a normal life”

“There is no normal life for people like her” Carolyn made a snort seem elegant “it’s like the animals in the circus that don’t know how to live any other way” she took a sip of her coffee.

“She’s not a fucking animal” spat Eve angry “Stop comparing her with animals- she was a severely abused girl that was used by a fucking organization to do their crimes- but she’s just- Carolyn she’s just a girl”

Eve felt like crying, not only from anger but sadness because seeing and hearing the woman speak of Villanelle this way made her realize how cold and unforgiving was the world in which the girl had been raised. She had never been seen like a person, an individual with feelings and dreams; she was just an asset an object… a creature they trained and owned, to be used and disposed whenever they choose. Oksanna never stood a chance in this world.

“Stop” growled Konstantin “just-tell me if you can help us, if not- stop doing this” his tone was clipped, he was ready to walk away, Eve too.

Carolyn sighed.

“This is extremely unusual Konstantin- you’re giving me a headache”

“Please, leave Villanelle out of this” asked the man ignoring her complaints

Again in a bout of rare of emotion Carolyn rolled her eyes and spoke with much disdain

“This blind faith you both have on the girl will come back to bite you later”

“We’ll deal with it later if it happens” said the man

“So you’ll respond if your child misbehaves?” again, the amusement “We’re not talking about a girl breaking a window Konstantin, she’s a cold-blooded assassin”

“She’s not- you don’t even know her” Eve spoke this time “We are helping her and we have her word she won’t be doing anything like that anymore- she won’t cause you troubles”

“We will make sure she behaves” said Konstantin

“If anything happens I’ll own you” the woman didn’t specify what she meant but the words were pretty ominous

“Nothing will happen” said the man with absolute confidence, Eve nodded as well, she was also willing to vouch for Villanelle; this time the woman was simply wrong.

“Let’s try to reach something then” said Carolyn taking a big tense breath.


End file.
